by Helen Juliet
As they began their slow ascension, Riley decided he had two choices. Fret himself into such a tongue-tied silence that he blew any chance of getting Kai to like him. Or, find something to talk about and hope that he chanced on something that would keep him out of his sudden strange mood.
“It says we need to take a selfie from as high as we can,” he said, with only a slight nervous tremor. He never liked being in charge of a conversation. But he held fast and pointed to the paper. “It suggests we climb a tree or a rock, but surely we’d get bonus points for getting to the top of…whatever this is we’re on.” He gestured to the hills around them.
Kai lit up at that, and Riley gave himself a mental high five. “Oh yeah,” he replied. “I was hoping we could try and scale the fell, but didn’t know if you’d be up for it.”
In truth, Riley was wary. He was used to running long distances, but that was at the gym or in the park. However, they were only going to be walking. It wasn’t like there were any wild beasts lurking in the highlands waiting to attack. It was just the unknown element of their environment that perturbed him.
But seeing the delight he’d caused on Kai’s face was enough to wash most of that away. “Sure,” he told him. “I’m up for that. So’s Baby Bee, aren’t you?”
‘Ruff!’ She wagged her tail and hopped a few feet in front of them.
“If there’s any other way to get bonus points, we should go the extra mile,” he said. “The amount of pub quizzes I’ve done well on from bonus points has taught me that much.”
Kai bit his lip, his smile broad. “Agreed.” He raised his hand for a real high five, which Riley was only too happy to reciprocate. “Let’s win this thing.”
Riley didn’t really believe they had a chance of victory, but he liked Kai’s competitive spirit.
They continued to plod upward. The incline wasn’t steep, but he was already feeling a warmth in his calf muscles as they worked to get him up there. He’d done a few stretches inside his tent before they’d left, but his new boots were rigid and felt heavy. They’d soon break in, hopefully.
A buzzing noise made Riley look around. It was faint, but it didn’t feel like it belonged in their serene surroundings. He squinted, but he couldn’t see anything unusual.
“Are you alright?” Kai asked.
Riley blinked. The sound disappeared again. “Yeah,” he said with a shrug.
Kai wanted to know more about Riley’s adventures in pub quizzing for some unfathomable reason. It did gave them something to chat about for a while. Riley and some of the others from work had a ritual of going down one of the locals near their office on a Wednesday. They’d get a couple of pitchers of beer and the cheap curry deal, then try each week to come up with increasingly ridiculous team names. Last week had been Quizzy McQuiz Face, which became funnier the more Riley had drunk.
When that conversation topic dwindled, Riley impressed himself by being ready to ask Kai if he’d climbed any other peaks. He was expecting him to say something like Ben Nevis in Scotland. But it turned out he’d done Kilimanjaro for charity a couple of years ago. Riley almost blurted out his incredulity at missing that on social media, but he managed to hold his tongue in time. Which was a good job, as Kai carried on to explain that the trip had been with an ex-girlfriend, and he therefore hadn’t posted much about it.
“Believe me,” Kai chuckled, shaking his head. “When you break up with someone at fifteen thousand feet, you’re not keen to brag about it.”
“I’m sorry,” said Riley awkwardly.
Kai took a second to work out what he was apologising for. “Oh,” he said lightly. “No, it’s fine. We’re friends now. Sometimes you just need a big push to realise something’s not right. She’s been seeing a dentist actually, for over a year. He’s really cool.”
Riley teetered on the precipice of his next question for a heart-stopping second, before his dick overruled his brain. “So,” he said, going in for the plunge with affected casualness. “Are you seeing anyone right now?”
He thought Kai might get mad, which was ridiculous. Or that he’d answer ‘Oh, yeah, she’s amazing. Want to see a picture?’
Instead, Kai glanced at him with a small smile. “Nah,” he said, shrugging. “Been about six months. Which doesn’t seem long, but I like being part of a couple.”
Riley’s heart twinged, thinking about the next girlfriend, whoever she would be. Also at the idea of Kai being lonely. He deserved happiness, even if that wasn’t with Riley. “I’m sure you’ll find someone soon,” he told him sincerely.
Kai wasn’t easily distracted for long though. “What about you, you find Mr Right yet?”
That made Riley scoff. “Not so much,” he admitted without going into too much detail. “Dating is a ball ache. Most guys aren’t interested in me as a person, they just want to, um…you know.”
What was he thinking? Normal people didn’t want to picture gay sex, it revolted them. Especially hot, manly men like Kai. He dwindled into silence as he struggled to manoeuvre out of the conversational cul-de-sac he’d found himself in.
Kai scoffed though. “What? Dude, you’re a total catch. Those London guys must be idiots.”
Riley blinked behind his sunglasses. “Uh, thanks.” He couldn’t help the nervous laugh that bubbled out of him. It almost sounded like Kai was not only not shocked by thinking about two dudes bumming, but really meant what he’d said. Like he thought quiet little Riley was impressive enough to warrant himself a boyfriend.
He sighed. That was kind of him, for sure. But the sad truth was the only guy Riley was really interested in actually spending time with, not just shagging, was standing right in front of him. And he was horribly unavailable.
Never mind. He was lucky to be spending time with him today at all. In lieu of any bedtime action, that would have to do.
It was certainly better than nothing, and Riley was going to enjoy it while it lasted.
22
Riley
It was a surprise for Riley to find out that Scafell Pike was in fact one of the highest peaks in England. It was deceptive, as there were lots of little hills leading up to the upmost point. But apparently once they got to the summit they would be about as high as they could go in the country without leaving the ground.
Bloody mountain climbing wasn’t really what Riley had been planning on when they’d left the campsite that morning. However, he promised himself he’d roll with the idea as best he could.
He hadn’t packed a jacket or anything. If it got too cold or they went too far he could always use Bia as an excuse to turn back. He’d rather not disappoint Kai though, so instead he applauded himself on what he had bought. Like the peanut butter sandwiches they were currently scarfing while sat on a grassy incline.
“Urgh,” Kai moaned, all too sexually. “I haven’t had peanut butter in years.”
Riley swallowed his bite and raised an eyebrow. “You’re kidding, right?” He prodded Kai’s thigh, giddy at his own boldness. It was as rock solid as he’d expected. “Who doesn’t always have peanut butter in their cupboard? I thought it was a legal requirement.”
Kai sighed. “My mum’s allergic, quite badly. It means we can’t even have it in the house.”
Riley felt bad. “I’m sorry.”
Once again, Kai waved off his apology. “She’s fine as long as she’s careful. It just means you made us the best lunch ever.”
Riley was almost ashamed at how proud the compliment made him.
They made their way through packets of crisps and a banana each. Bia lapped up plenty of water and chomped on several duck-flavoured, bone-shaped treats. She wouldn’t need her proper food until that evening, but Riley had brought a packet for her just in case they got held up.
They weren’t walking again for long before they came across the most picturesque little waterfall. It cascaded down a short side of rocks between green fern trees. Maybe only about a dozen feet high. Then the water continued in a babbling brook that they ma
naged to skip over without getting too wet. Bia had a grand time wading through it, no doubt cooling off nicely as she snapped at the splashes that jumped up at her.
“Can we hang on a minute while I get a selfie?” Riley asked. He felt a little silly, thinking Kai would laugh. He surprised him instead.
“Sure. Want to take it together?”
For a second, Riley’s heart stuttered. But Kai obviously just meant as friends, and he needed to remember that was wonderful in and of itself.
Except to get them both in the frame, they didn’t have much choice but to huddle close together. Then Kai slung his arm around Riley’s waist, drawing him closer, and his brain ground to a halt.
“Smile!” Kai cried.
Riley did so obediently, but was thankful Kai – who insisted on taking the photo as he had the better angle – snapped several without needing to be prompted. Riley would undoubtedly need a selection to choose from before he was satisfied. It would have been awkward to have to ask Kai to do it again.
He couldn’t help but feel a pang as he flicked through the results. There was more than one that he liked, loved even. But that might have been because he and Kai looked so effortlessly like a couple.
Everything about them just fit. The way their heads tucked together was natural and effortless. Riley’s golden hair and reddish beard contrasted nicely with Kai’s dark tones, but still managed to blend together like they were from the same colour palette. The waterfall behind them offered a romantic setting, as did the glorious sunshine beating down. To anyone who didn’t know, they could easily be on holiday together somewhere exotic.
For a second, Riley let his imagination run with him as to what could be, in another life. He refused to dwell on it though, lest Kai notice something was up. Instead, he watched Kai play with a soggy Bia while he added his filters and uploaded the final photo. Like before, he wasn’t sure what his signal would be like, but he went ahead and updated all of his platforms. Who knew if he’d ever get another picture of just him and Kai together. Seeing as they both looked pretty damn gorgeous, he wanted to capitalise on it.
He could fantasise, just for one status update.
It was amazing how people naturally drifted apart as they followed the route. Brits were good at giving each other space. As they carried on the zig-zagging cobbled path, Riley almost felt like it was only him and Kai for miles. And Bia of course.
She was doing very well, with no signs of flagging yet. He made sure to give her water regularly and she enforced her own stops often enough as she trotted off to investigate this and that. She was fascinated by the sheep that wandered freely about. But so far they had refrained from bothering each other.
A black Herdwick lamb was something they had to find for their scavenger hunt. It wasn’t long before they came across one amongst the older, whiter ones. Riley was all set to get a picture of Bia sniffing at the baby sheep. But then Kai slipped off his enormous pack (honestly, what did he have in there aside from water?) and bound over to where dog and sheep were assessing one another.
Kai plonked his arse down between them and scooped Bia and the lamb against his sides into a cuddle. “Quick, quick!” he hissed as Riley hastily lined up the shot.
Neither animal seemed all that fussed at being manhandled, but then, neither would Riley if he was in those arms. He shelved his lust for just a second while he got the photo he wanted. Then he allowed himself to indulge in how Kai’s muscles flexed as he carefully let the lamb go. Bia seemed determined to climb in his lap and lick his salty skin. Riley might have been jealous of that if Kai hadn’t howled in protest.
“Ew, no, no,” he said with a laugh, relocating Bia back onto the grass and wiping down his arm.
“She likes you,” Riley teased.
“A little too much,” Kai concurred.
As he stood and brushed himself off, Riley thought it would be a good time for them both to apply more sun tan lotion. The added bonus that he got to watch Kai massaging the cream into his muscles had almost nothing to do with it. Almost.
“Do your tattoos all mean something?” he asked. He’d taken his sunglasses off to make sure he covered all of his face, so he knew he was squinting over at Kai as he spoke. But he’d been dorky enough times in front of him over the past day for him not to care. So he concentrated on ensuring he didn’t leave any embarrassing white streaks on his cheeks.
“Oh totally,” said Kai. He looked down at both his arms, flexing them as he turned them in different directions, displaying the various designs. “You like them?”
Riley nodded. “I’ve never been brave enough to get one,” he admitted.
“Nah,” said Kai. “It really doesn’t hurt that much.”
He unzipped Riley’s bag on his back and dropped the lotion back inside. It was such a familiar gesture Riley was taken aback for a moment until he could speak again. Kai was just so comfortable around him, it made him feel safe.
Until his heart inevitably got broken, but that was a concern for another day.
“Oh, no,” Riley said as soon as he’d regained his senses. “It’s not the pain that scares me, it’s the thought of committing to putting something on my body for the rest of my life. What if I don’t like it after a couple of years? I’ll have to live with it until I’m an old grandad!”
Kai laughed. “Fair enough. Although, after the first couple, you care less, I promise. I have more than one that I got with old girlfriends, for example. You’d think they’d be terrible to be stuck with, but they just make me think of the good times when I see them.”
He pointed to a daisy near the crook of his left elbow, and then an infinity loop by his right wrist. “They really don’t bother you?” Riley was close to reaching out and touching one of them, but as his hand began to rise he snatched it back. He needed to behave himself.
Kai shook his head. “The relationships are still a part of me, even though they didn’t last. So, what does it matter if there’s a bit that shows on the outside too? Hey, check out this mistake though.”
He proudly skipped a few steps ahead of Riley, then lifted his vest and backpack to show the ink above his right hip.
“Is that…a transformer?” Riley spluttered. He clapped his hand over his mouth, shame flooding through him at being so rude. But Kai threw back his head and laughed.
“Optimus Prime himself,” he confirmed over his shoulder. “I loved them so much when I was a kid, and I got all excited when they started making the movies. Now…” he waved his hand in a so-so motion. “I’m thinking I might get a cover-up.”
Riley privately thought that might be a good idea, but didn’t comment. “So do you have a favourite?”
Kai dropped his shirt and came back to Riley and Bia. “Possibly my first one,” he said. He pointed at the magnificent bear Riley had previously been admiring, looking stoic from his left bicep. “Isn’t he gorgeous?”
Not as much as his owner is, Riley thought privately. “What prompted you to get him then?”
From what Riley could remember, Kai had been pretty young when he and Brendon had gone into town to get their first ink. His brother didn’t have near as many tattoos as Kai did now, but he’d had a couple done since they were, what, eighteen? But he was intrigued as to what drove someone to get their first design.
“So,” said Kai eagerly. “You know how I’m adopted?”
Riley coughed on nothing and stumbled to a halt. “You’re what?”
Kai frowned and stopped as well, the rugged hills looming either side of them. “Um, adopted. I assumed you knew.”
Riley shook his head. “I’m so sorry.”
Immediately, he knew he’d said the wrong thing. “Why on earth would you be sorry?” Kai asked. He dropped his hand from the bear and gave Riley a hurt look.
Humiliation flared through him, quickly followed by nausea. For a moment he couldn’t think of a single thing to say. His mouth worked silently as he tried his best to claw back his knee-jerk reaction.
&
nbsp; “I’m sorry,” he said again, then cringed. “For, um, being sorry. I don’t know. I’ve never met anyone who’s adopted before.”
Kai’s expression softened, mercifully. “That you know of,” he pointed out. “It’s okay, you’re not the first one to assume it’s a bad thing. Like, how horrible it must be that my parents gave me up.”
Riley chewed his lip. “But, it’s not?” he asked tentatively. He was relieved he hadn’t been the only one to put his foot in it, but he really wished he hadn’t been a dick all the same.
Kai shrugged and they started walking again. “I don’t know anything about them,” he admitted. “The first thing I really remember is coming to the UK on the plane, I was only five, my sister was a baby.”
Riley had so many questions, he didn’t know where to start. “So, your sister is your biological sister?” He was conscious of putting his foot in it again, but Kai appeared to relax again. Christ, it would have been better if he’d been angry with Riley. His hurt expression had been almost too much to bear.
“Yeah,” he said with obvious fondness. “We think maybe our mum gave us up because Abi was born with a cleft lip and palate.”
Riley had vague memories of that. To look at his sister now though, you’d hardly see the scars on her face where the gap had been. “Could your birth mum not take care of her?”
Kai shrugged. “We don’t know. We know we were in a Ukrainian orphanage. They found us on the doorstep, no papers. Apparently I’d been told to stay put until we were found.”
Even though Kai had told him not to feel bad that he’d been adopted, a lump rose in Riley’s throat all the same, thinking of him as a tiny boy, cradling his newborn sister. “So how did you end up here?”
Kai brightened visibly. “My mum came and found us,” he explained. “She wanted to adopt from Eastern Europe. Her family had come from Germany when she was little, in the seventies. With all that Cold War stuff, she got it her head that she didn’t want to have babies when there were kids out there like me and Abigail. Did you know it’s easier to adopt if the kid has a medical condition?”
