Sister's Forgiveness

by Anna Schmidt

  “Do you want to drive?” Dan asked her as soon as they had turned the corner at the end of her street. He was looking at her with that little boy grin that always set her heart racing.

  She giggled. When Dan had called her early that morning to suggest that he drive her to school, she had told him about getting her learner’s permit. He knew the rules. He had to be teasing her.

  “You know I can’t. I just got my learner’s…”

  He cocked an eyebrow that turned his question into a dare. “I have a license.”

  “You have to be twenty-one in this state,” she reminded him. “I mean, I have to drive with someone that old in the car.”

  “Now let’s just think about this before you say no. It’s what? Less than a mile to your cousin’s place?” He pulled to the side of the street and let the engine idle. “Come on. What can happen?”

  He was out of the car and coming around to her side before Sadie could protest.

  “Come on already,” he said, holding the door open for her, his shoulders hunched. “We’re going to be late, not to mention that I’m getting soaked.”

  Her folks would have a cow if they found out. But this was Dan. The last thing she wanted was to start off the year with him thinking she was too chicken to try something just slightly forbidden—well, truly forbidden. But Dan did have a point—it was less than a mile with no really busy streets, and they would switch back once they got to Tessa’s. Before they got to Tessa’s.

  She scrambled out and ran to the driver’s side of the car.

  “We have to stop and switch back when we get to Tessa’s street,” she said as she slid into the driver’s seat. But then she ran her hands over the steering wheel and felt such a rush of power, of being grown-up. She couldn’t help squealing.

  “Okay, adjust the seat and the mirrors,” Dan instructed as soon as she’d closed the door. “The flashers are on, so turn those off and put on your signal. Then slowly pull out as soon as you see an opportunity.”

  Sadie concentrated on following everything he said to the letter.

  “Good,” he said when she had pulled onto the street. He leaned his seat back and took out his cell phone.

  “Who are you texting?” Sadie asked as his thumbs flew over the keypad.

  “The guys.”

  The guys were Dan’s teammates. Sadie forced herself to concentrate on the driving. There was a lot more traffic than she had expected, and it seemed like all the other vehicles on the road were racing past her at a fast rate of speed. A driver pulled around her, his horn blaring, and she clenched her teeth and tightened her grip on the steering wheel. The side mirrors and rear window were fogged up, so she was having trouble seeing other cars. She glanced at the console. “Where’s the rear defroster?”

  Dan punched a button. “Come on, Sadie, give it some gas, or we’ll be getting to school sometime tomorrow.” He continued texting without looking up.

  Sadie gripped the steering wheel and pressed down on the accelerator. The car seemed to leap forward, and she immediately fumbled for the brake, sending the car into a slight skid. “What do I do?” she shouted.

  “Just stay calm,” Dan coached, but she noticed that his voice shook a little and he was sitting forward, the cell phone lying loose in his hand as he watched the road.

  As she regained control of the car, she realized that he was laughing.

  “It’s not funny,” she huffed as she bent forward over the steering wheel, as if that position would give her better vision. She looked over at him. “Stop laughing.”

  Now that she had managed to right the car and get back into the flow of traffic, he was back to texting and fighting a smile. Determined now to show him that she was not some kid, Sadie pressed down on the gas.

  The speedometer hovered at just over thirty-five, but it felt as if they were doing at least sixty. It was exhilarating and terrifying but also fun. She hit a patch where the water had covered the road and was thrilled when a high wave shot up on Dan’s side.

  “Slow down for the turn,” he said, and this time there was no humor in his tone. “That’s her street ahead, right?”

  Tessa’s street was coming up fast—too fast—and Sadie wrenched the steering wheel to the right and prayed that there wouldn’t be a car coming out of the lane as she made the wide turn.

  Her prayer went unheard. Once again she heard the blare of a car horn as Tessa’s neighbor, Mr. Diehn, sped past. All she wanted now was to pull to the side and turn the driving over to Dan. She peered through the windshield, looking for a place where she could park so they could switch.

  “Come on, Sadie, we’re already running late, and with this rain, nobody’s going to notice you driving. Just get to your cousin’s,” Dan said, his focus back on his texting. Then he started to snicker.

  “What?” she asked, her patience with this whole business wearing thin. They were approaching Tessa’s block, and the rain was pelting the car so hard that she had to shout to be heard.

  Then Dan started to laugh out loud as his fingers flew over the keypad once again. He waited a beat and then laughed even harder. “Oh, that’s rich,” he muttered.

  “What’s so funny?” she demanded, only half aware that the more irritated she got the harder she pressed on the accelerator. They were almost at Tessa’s driveway. “Are you making fun of me to your friends? Let me see,” she said and made a grab for the cell phone with her right hand while turning onto the drive with her left.

  “Keep both hands on the wheel,” Dan shouted as the car started to skid.

  Sadie wrenched the wheel to the left and looked out the window just in time to see that they were headed straight for her uncle Geoff, who had just come outside and was trying to open an umbrella. She slammed down hard on the brake and threw up her hands and screamed as Dan gave the steering wheel a hard wrench to the right.

  Unimaginably she looked up, and there was Tessa, her eyes wide like the proverbial deer caught in headlights. Her cousin pressed herself against the garage door. Then there was a thud followed by a whoosh, and suddenly Sadie couldn’t see anything but the white pillow of the airbag.

  Sadie stopped talking, and Mr. Cotter stopped asking questions, and Mr. Johnson stopped leaping to his feet every twenty seconds with an objection. Everything went quiet—the way it had that morning. Sadie folded her hands, silently praying that her words had been enough to show everyone how truly sorry she was for what she had done. Her aunt was leaning forward as if to catch every word.

  Sadie met Jeannie’s tear-filled gaze, and for one unbelievable moment, she felt that after everything that had happened there might be a chance. Was there any hope that maybe someday her beloved aunt—Tessa’s mom—would find it in her heart to forgive her?

  Chapter 35

  Emma

  Joseph had gently guided Sadie through her testimony in spite of numerous interruptions and objections from the attorney for the prosecution. Step-by-step the story they had never heard—the story of what had actually happened that morning, leading up to and including the moment the car had hit Tessa—unfolded. Emma likened it to watching a ball of yarn slowly unwind as her knitting needles fashioned the thread of wool into socks for Lars or a sweater for Matt. As soon as Sadie repeated Geoff’s revelation that at the last minute Dan had grabbed the steering wheel and wrenched it to the right to avoid hitting Geoff, Joseph Cotter thanked her and returned to his place at the table.

  And just when Emma was breathing a sigh of pure relief that Sadie had weathered this ordeal without breaking down, Mr. Johnson stood up. “Just a few questions, Miss Keller,” he said, looking at his legal pad instead of at Sadie.

  Emma mentally went over everything Joseph had explained to them about procedure. The state’s attorney would try to unravel the details of Sadie’s testimony. “Not with malice,” Joseph had assured them. “It’s just that what he’s been told by others—like Dan Kline—may not match exactly with what Sadie tells the court.”

  Like that
it was Dan’s idea for her to drive to Tessa’s, Emma thought now. Sadie hadn’t pleaded for him to let her drive. Just the opposite.

  And yet in the end, she gave in and got behind the wheel.

  Emma turned her mind back to what Joseph had told them would happen once the state’s attorney completed his cross-examination, willing that part of the process to be over quickly. “If necessary,” Joseph had told them, “I’ll ask Sadie a few more questions, and then the defense—that’s us—will rest.”

  “Then what?”

  “Each lawyer will have the opportunity to make a closing statement, and then the judge will decide whether Sadie is guilty as charged. There are two charges against her, and she could be found not guilty of both, guilty of both, or guilty of one but not the other.”

  “What do you think he will decide?’ Lars asked.

  Joseph had looked away. “He’s hard to read, and he’s new in the system, so I’m not sure. Most judges develop a kind of pattern over time. If he decides against her on either count—or both—then there will be a disposition hearing.”

  “More time?” Emma moaned.

  “Maybe not. It could happen right then, or the judge could schedule it for a later time.”

  “And Sadie would go back to the detention center?”

  “That depends. The judge could choose to release her to home detention.”

  “He would do that?” Emma’s heart had thudded with hope.

  “He might—emphasis on might,” Joseph warned.

  With that in mind, Emma folded her hands and leaned forward, her focus on Mr. Johnson.

  “Miss Keller, here’s what this court needs to know.”

  Sadie met the lawyer’s gaze without blinking.

  “Did you or did you not of your own free will and in spite of knowing that it was against the law to do so, choose to get behind the wheel of Daniel Kline’s car on the rainy morning of August 28th? And did you then drive eight tenths of a mile to your cousin’s house, where you chose to take your attention away from your responsibility for the operation of that vehicle?”

  Sadie blinked and glanced first at Joseph and then at the judge.

  “Answer the question,” the judge said.

  “I don’t understand—”

  “I’ll make it simple for you, Miss Keller,” Mr. Johnson said. “Did you on the morning of August 28th choose to drive your boyfriend’s car and do so in such a manner that you ended up killing your cousin, an innocent bystander?”

  Joseph was on his feet immediately. “Objection,” he sputtered.

  “Withdrawn,” Johnson said as he returned to his chair. “No further questions.”

  Sadie was excused. She hurried to take her place next to Joseph, leaning in to whisper something that Emma didn’t hear. Joseph shook his head and squeezed her hand. Joseph stood up and walked to the small podium in front of the judge’s high position to deliver his closing statement, but Emma could barely concentrate. Her fury at the way Mr. Johnson had asked Sadie about the accident threatened to overwhelm her. She folded her hands and bowed her head and prayed that God would forgive her for her anger and dislike of that man.

  Then, after the state’s attorney had made his plea for the judge to find the defendant guilty of the greater charge of vehicular homicide, the courtroom was silent for the second time that morning. The bailiff kept watch, and the clerk’s fingers remained poised to record whatever came next. Lars reached over and interlocked his fingers with Emma’s.

  She knew that he was silently praying for the judge to find their daughter not guilty. The two of them fixed their gaze on the small dark-haired man in the voluminous black robe. He seemed oblivious to the presence of a courtroom filled with people as he studied a file on his desk. Emma realized that he was scanning the documents Joseph had handed him earlier—the depositions from Pastor Detlef and Sadie’s teachers and neighbors.

  Finally, he cleared his throat, and the bailiff told the defendant to rise. Joseph stood, taking Sadie’s arm and coaching her to a standing position as well. The judge focused his attention on Sadie, but Emma saw that he seemed to be thinking about all that he had heard as he stared at their daughter.

  “Sadie Keller, you have been accused of causing the death of another human being through the reckless use of a motor vehicle. It is my decision that under the charge of vehicular homicide you are not guilty.”

  A collective rush of released breath whooshed through the room, and the judge held up his hand. “On the charge of culpable negligence, I find you guilty.”

  This time the reaction was an audible but hushed murmur. The judge waited for it to pass.

  “I have been impressed by these depositions from others related to the stability of your family and community, and I have taken into consideration the duress that you have had to endure while being held in detention. Therefore, between today and the date set for the disposition hearing, I am releasing you to the custody of your parents.”

  Emma saw Sadie half turn and smile.

  “This is not a get-out-of-jail-free card, young lady. It goes without saying, I should hope, that your learner’s permit has been revoked and should be turned over to the clerk of the court as soon as you have retrieved your personal belongings.” He leaned even farther forward, his dark eyes pinning Sadie. “I expect you to use the days between today and the disposition hearing to consider how your foolish desire to impress a young man ended in tragedy for a great many people you love.”

  Sadie nodded and murmured, “Yes sir. Thank you, sir.”

  Was it over? Emma wondered. But no, Sadie had been found both not guilty and guilty. Still, she was coming home—today. Emma squeezed Lars’s hand and then turned to find her sister, wanting so much to share this moment with her, hoping that in spite of everything, Jeannie would share her joy that Sadie was coming home.

  But Jeannie was no longer in the room.

  It took time to sort out everything once the judge had made his ruling and set the date for the disposition hearing for three weeks later.

  Three weeks until the next shoe would fall. Three weeks to have her daughter home and perhaps some semblance of normalcy to their lives, even if only for that brief time.

  Emma tried to consider how best to handle this reprieve. It was important not to get their hopes too high. Joseph had explained that the charge of culpable negligence still carried the possibility of commitment plus payment of court costs. Further, it was going to be important that they not put too much emphasis on Sadie being home again. Although she suspected that Matt would see their relief and joy as further evidence that his sister meant more to them than he did, she couldn’t help hoping that he would be happy for Sadie.

  Lars was certain that Matt’s recent habit of leaving the house as soon as possible after supper to meet some friends was nothing more than a combination of his age and the need to find some escape from what was going on around him. She and Lars assumed they would find him at the school playing basketball.

  “He’s trying to figure out how best to handle Geoff’s rejection, and sports seems a healthy way to do that,” Lars had told her. “I expect playing a game of pickup basketball—a sport that he knows his uncle Geoff respects—makes him feel a little closer to finding his way back into Geoff’s good graces.”

  But Emma wasn’t so sure that they had the entire story. One evening when she had attended a meeting at the church, she had driven past the school on her way home, thinking to offer Matt a ride since it looked like rain. The courts had been deserted, and when she got home, Matt wasn’t there.

  He’d shown up half an hour later, and when she told him she’d stopped by the school, his cheeks had gone beet-red and he’d looked away. “We were playing in the park,” he mumbled.

  Later she’d brought up the subject with Lars again.

  “Emma, don’t we have enough to worry about with Sadie’s trial and all without you making up problems?”

  She’d been stunned into silence. Lars had never
spoken to her in that exasperated tone. He had always listened and comforted and even agreed to do something about whatever situation she was worried about at the moment.

  Lars had immediately softened his tone. “Look, he’s a good student, and he does his chores without you having to remind him. So if he’s out playing basketball with some of Geoff’s team, where’s the harm?” He’d sighed heavily then. “Sometimes I wish that I could just go play a game of shuffleboard with the men.”

  “What’s stopping you?” Emma had shot back, surprised at the vehemence in her voice. She knew full well why Lars no longer went to the shuffleboard courts. It was the same reason she had stopped working at the thrift shop and going to the fruit co-op unless she knew she would be working alone with Hester.

  They didn’t want to hear even a whisper of gossip about Sadie and her case, or how Geoff and Jeannie no longer had anything to do with Emma and Lars, or how they had been far too permissive with Sadie all along, and if they weren’t careful, that boy of theirs…

  Oh, she had heard it all. And she knew that Lars had as well.

  “It’s a pickup game of basketball, Emmie,” Lars had said. “You remember how excited Matt was to even be included in their game. You must know how much it meant to him to have Geoff praise his talent on the court before…”

  She remembered all too well. Geoff had assured them that Matt was “a good little shooter” and that one of these days he would “hold his own with the best of them.”

  “I know but…”

  Lars had sighed. “Emma, I’m not sure how much more this family can take. Please just accept that Matt is doing the best he knows how, working his way through all of this—and so am I.”

  “Well, I’m sorry if my worrying about our son is a burden for you, Lars,” she’d snapped.