A Gift Freely Given (The Tahaerin Chronicles Book 1)

by J. Ellen Ross

  Leisha thought of a pile of work waiting for her, but now Lukas stroked her hand, running his fingers from wrist to palm to fingertip. Yes, I could be distracted from work, she thought. And better this time because she would not be drunk from two glasses of wine.

  Once in her apartments, Lukas went to work on her buttons and laces. “Why must women’s clothes be so damn hard to get you out of?” he teased.

  She felt unsure as to how to answer, exactly. Funny? Mocking? Commiserate with him about her clothes? Bedroom banter confused her and without the wine to make her brave she fumbled. She opened her mind to his, hoping for some sort of help.

  Her face flushed hot when his thoughts rushed in, invading hers. Just like the night of the Tumult they were crowded with feelings of desire. He wanted to sleep with her, wanted to feel her body. They were so intense she felt her breath catch.

  Lukas finally undid the last of her buttons and slid the dress down over her shoulders. She whirled around and kissed him, tugging at the buttons on his vest. He pulled her to the bed, getting his boots and trousers off in record time. Then his mouth was on her neck and breasts and his hands traveled over her skin.

  He was inside her and Leisha was pulled along by the swarm of lust and desire surrounding her. It all ended so soon. Lukas kissed her and rolled onto his side. He stroked her face once before kissing her shoulder and falling asleep.

  Leisha lay in bed, longing for more, but she had no name for it. She wanted whatever Lukas experienced, that release. Maybe it only happened for men? Maybe there was something wrong with her?

  She got up and pulled on a robe. Her maids would be back in an hour to dress her for dinner. And she needed to take some of the powder from the small envelope.

  ***

  Three days after the wedding ceremony, as the wedding guests prepared to leave Otokar, Leisha informed Lovek she would stay on a bit longer to visit some of the nearby nobles and their holdings. For each visit, she would leave for a few nights with a small retinue. While she was gone, most of her people would remain at the castle. Lovek let her know he was delighted to host her household while she traveled, just delighted.

  For their first visit, her party rode out to see Lord Benedyct. Riders went ahead to notify him of the impending royal visit. Leisha rode in a carriage along with Symon and a subdued Lukas. His thoughts chafed with pent-up energy. She thought they might enjoy some time together, but she could see he did not relish being dragged around inside a carriage. He wanted to be riding, she saw.

  She ordered a halt and told him to have his horse brought up. “No, this is fine, really,” he said, pasting a smile on his face.

  “Go, go enjoy the pretty day,” she pressed him. “I don’t ride, but there’s no reason for you to sit in here all day.”

  When they stopped for the night to camp, Lukas came to her tent and they ate dinner together. She met with Symon to review tomorrow’s work while Lukas read a book in the corner. Afterwards, he asked if she wanted to go to bed. And while she did want to do just that, the tent afforded her no privacy in the camp. She could not imagine everyone knowing and hearing her and Lukas sleeping together.

  He kissed her neck. “Who cares if they hear?”

  “I do, Lukas. They’re my subjects, and I’m not ready for them to hear. This is new to me and I need time to figure out how it all works.”

  This time he kissed her on the forehead and wished her good night before returning to his own tent. She wished he had at least stayed for a while since they had not seen each other much today.

  ***

  They made three more visits to neighboring lords and their holdings. Lukas came with her on each trip, going out to survey improvements she helped pay for. The new town walls she finally allowed Lord Klemen to build had foundations laid and a new castle of Lord Lubek’s rose from the ground to an impressive height now.

  In all, the trips took nearly a month, and from what Jan and Eli heard from servants and officials, Lovek was nearly bankrupted by her stay. Leisha decided he had paid off his debt of unsettled taxes and she had made her point. She let Symon know they would be returning home as soon as it could be arranged. When asked, Lukas enthusiastically agreed to come with her to visit Lida.

  ***

  A week later, the day dawned bright and sunny. Perfect to begin their journey with. The team of horses pulled her carriage around and everyone began finding their places in the procession.

  “My lady Queen, I’m sorry to see you leaving us,” Lovek said with a low bow.

  Leisha laughed as his thoughts told a different story. “Lord Lovek, I know I speak for all your guests when I thank you for the lovely wedding and wonderful entertainment. I know you must have spent a small fortune on this event. It was truly memorable.”

  “Yes, well. It was an honor hosting you and your household.”

  “Before I leave, I do have a suggestion for you. Those horse fai—” She stopped herself and touched two fingers to her lips as if trying to cover a slip of the tongue. “Those horse shows you hold in the springs? The ones that don’t bring in any money?”

  Wincing, Lovek closed his eyes. “Yes, those,” he said, a hint of resignation in his voice.

  “Perhaps they could be converted into horse fairs, and generate some funds to pay for your other daughter’s wedding.” Leisha smiled and patted his arm briefly.

  “An excellent idea, Your Grace.”

  After climbing into her carriage, Lukas looked perplexed as he settled into the cushions. “What was that about?”

  “Lovek doesn’t like paying taxes, and I rather prefer my nobles do so. It’s part of being queen. I have to manage all of them.”

  “I guess. I don’t really understand, Leisha. My father gives all of this to his officials to handle.”

  “Well, this isn’t Embriel. Tahaerin noble society is based more on personal relationships. Also, I want to know exactly what is going on with my kingdom - who is spending what, who is allied with whom. As a woman, I’m always going to be more vulnerable than a man would be. It’s important I stay on top of things.”

  “Then obviously you need to marry a man to keep you safe,” Lukas quipped.

  Sitting in one corner of the carriage reading a book, Symon winced, pitying the young prince.

  She turned angry eyes on him. “I assure you, I do not. This is my kingdom, my crown, my throne. Right now, I’ll hold it myself or not at all.”

  Laughing, Symon tried to save the prince from himself, “Sire, we have all had this discussion with her. It’s fruitless to pursue it.”

  Lukas did not appear to be listening.

  ***

  Zaraki found the train of wagons and carriages as they wound their way along the forested roads toward Lida. He pulled Capar up short as he watched the procession approaching a crossroad and decided he was not quite ready for this. His heart raced, and being sick on the side of the road seemed a real possibility. Let them make camp first. Then he would present himself to Leisha and hope Lukas was not in attendance. He needed to ease into this.

  By the evening, he knew he could not slink along, just out of sight of the wagons, any longer. He needed to check in with Leisha, report his findings to her, and do his damn job. Also, he knew at least Jan and Eli had caught sight of him following them. He had seen them riding out to check on the stranger on the black horse. Waiting any longer would raise questions he would rather not answer. So, taking a deep breath, as if about to plunge into deep water, he turned Capar towards camp.

  Leisha saw him coming as she sat outside her tent, talking with several of her bookkeepers. She rose to greet him, a bright, sunny smile on her face. “Zaraki. How are you? You’ve been away too long this time.” Next to her shoulder, he saw a tall man, around his age, with handsome features and dark hair. Damn. He saw Lukas narrow his eyes, taking the measure of a man Leisha greeted with so much warmth.

  Zaraki came forward and bowed low, saying, “My apologies, my lady. I’ve been visiting as many of our
agents as possible. Prince Lukas, I assume?” When Leisha turned to introduce them, he made sure to grin at Lukas and did not look down the way a good, little peasant should. Zaraki knew it was shallow, knew it was because of his feelings for her, but he took an instant dislike to the prince.

  “Lukas, this is my spymaster, Zaraki. He’s been with me for six years.”

  Lukas did not like this newcomer and did not care for commoners who refused to respect their betters. Feeling petty, he said, “Six years? How unusual to find such loyalty in the lower class.”

  Zaraki opened his mouth to snap back but closed it before saying something foolish.

  It felt as if a cold wind had arisen from nowhere to sweep through the camp. He recognized the touch and feel of Leisha’s emotions washing over them—anger and outrage in equal measure. As she wheeled on Lukas, he saw the change in her demeanor as her body stiffened and the queen appeared. He tried not to smile, gratified she chose to defend him. Offending Leisha’s very strong sense of fair play rarely yielded good results.

  Lukas, for his part, knew he had overstepped. He leaned back as Leisha turned on him, fury written in every line of her body.

  “No,” she barked, pitching her voice low so the entire camp did not hear, but hard and angry enough to make her point. “Here in my kingdom and in my camp, you will not condescend to my people—not one of them. You’re not their king and you will treat them fairly. They are my responsibility and I won’t have any of them spoken to that way. Especially not one who has saved my life more times than I can count.”

  She turned to stalk back into her tent and shouted, “Send Symon.” Her guards stood close enough to hear the whole exchange and tried to smother their laughter as they pulled the flap. Once Leisha disappeared inside, they moved to stand in front of it, barring any entrance. It seemed Lukas had already managed to make enemies here.

  Again, Zaraki flashed a huge, satisfied grin at the prince before turning to find a tent to sleep in for the night. Lukas would learn Leisha kept her two roles very separate, the queen and the woman. But no matter how casual she might seem, the queen simmered just below the surface and would rear up if called on. Either people in her service learned to accept the seismic shifts between her public and private personalities or they scurried away, frightened and confused. Zaraki learned early on how to manage both sides, but reading people was part of his job.

  Lukas seemed like any other spoiled nobleman’s son, used to getting his way and surprised when it did not happen. Hating him made this all so much easier, Zaraki thought.

  Fumbling

  The first few days back in Lida were chaos as men unloaded a never ending parade of wagons to move Leisha’s and Lukas’s households into the castle. Symon spent hours directing traffic and servants, and it seemed the courtyard was never empty of workers.

  Leisha returned to Branik to find mountains of work. Requests from Lida city leaders and merchants to resolve disputes dominated the piles. She longed to return to her old routine: work in the mornings, eat lunch with Zaraki and Symon and finish her work in the afternoon. Now, she tried to fit Lukas into a schedule that had worked well for almost six years.

  The first few days she ended work after lunch and spent time showing Lukas around the castle and its grounds. She showed him her favorite spots: the library, her gardens, and the stables. They ate dinner together and made love before he returned to his quarters. Each night Leisha lay awake afterwards, wondering if she was doing this all correctly. Guests in her castle, Lukas in her bed. When would it feel natural? I’m too much a creature of habit, she told herself. If I want to have this, I need to learn to fit someone else into my life.

  And now, she wanted this. She wanted to have someone in her life, someone to talk to, someone to share her favorite books with—the sort of friendship denied her throughout her childhood. The sort of friendship she could not imagine a few years ago when keeping her throne and crown dominated every waking thought, when every step forward she took could have meant her defeat.

  Now, with the threat gone, she wanted more. She just needed to figure out how to fit her personal and public lives together. Perhaps Lukas would enjoy learning more about her kingdom.

  The next morning, she sent him an invitation to join her regular lunch with Zaraki and Symon. His reply said he and his party had plans to go riding, but he would see her for dinner. All other attempts she made to include Lukas into her work failed.

  For a month, everyone got along. Lukas and his people were on their best behavior as they tried to learn the rhythms of the castle. They found Lida alluring and went down into town whenever possible. There they could hire boats to take them out to the nearby islands or drink in any of the excellent taverns catering to royal court officials and wealthy merchant families. People found the foreign prince who courted their queen enchanting. They imagined a lavish wedding for the young couple and a month of parties and celebrations.

  However, Lukas and his men quickly alienated many in town with drunken fights and unpaid bills. They descended from the castle, full of demands and royal pretentions Leisha never displayed. This played poorly with most of Lida though some of the wealthy sons and daughters felt drawn to the foreigners and joined in the chaos Lukas left in his wake.

  With a whole new set of friends to entertain, he asked Leisha about holding a small gathering at the castle. She thought it sounded very nice and told him to make any arrangements he thought necessary. But to also be sure to inform Zaraki and Andelko about it so they could arrange for extra guards.

  However, the day of the party arrived and Leisha took ill. “Go have fun, Lukas. I’ll be fine,” she assured him. As he left, his thoughts showed relief. But she could not tell if he was relieved she felt some better or that she would not attend.

  ***

  Zaraki made it a point to be visible, standing in the castle entrance and watching each guest arrive. He recognized most of them, rich merchant sons and guild leaders. Then he caught sight of a petite woman being escorted by one of Lukas’s friends he disliked intensely. A mountain of a man, Tynon tried to bully servants and people in town with his size, and now he walked with Aniska hanging off his arm, ushering her to this wretched affair.

  She looked lovely, her red hair pulled into a great mound of curls and dressed in a gown Tynon probably bought her. He saw her gawking and pointing, staying in character as if she had never been inside a castle, much less this particular one. Well, now this party is more interesting, he thought.

  The guests all settled into a large hall, servants arrived with drinks and the musicians began to play. Zaraki stood in the gallery above and watched as what started as a small party turned into chaos. Lukas and his men began drinking before any food arrived and demanded a constant stream of alcohol. They barked orders at the servants and acted like typical spoiled nobles. Two fights broke out between nobles and the merchant sons as soon as dinner concluded. Nothing more than drunken men swinging at each other, though. And soon after each fight, everyone embraced, friends again it seemed. When the party broke up, the mess left behind dwarfed anything witnessed at Branik in years. Leisha would be livid when she found out.

  Zaraki waited and grabbed Aniska while she walked alone down the hall. Perhaps Tynon had passed out or been stabbed and left to die in a dark corner. Either one seemed likely.

  “Enjoying your date tonight?” he asked, grinning down at her.

  She jumped and then slapped at him for scaring her. “They were all drinking in the bar and Tynon paid me twenty tira to come with him. I couldn’t say no. It would have been suspicious. Who can turn down twenty tira?” She said it in her best Tahaerin accent and fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Lukas and the others have been regulars in my bar, you know?”

  Zaraki wanted to ask, wanted to know what she had seen and heard, but it crossed a line. He was not investigating Lukas. “Don’t tell me about it. I don’t need to know,” he said, shaking his head.

  “Sorry, sore subject, I kn
ow.” Aniska put a hand on his arm. “Look, normally I stay out of your personal business, but I’m a little tipsy. Tynon tried to get me drunk, the dummy. Anyway, tell her.”

  “No. I won’t ever,” he said, shaking his head and regretting the entire conversation now.

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want to talk about this, Ani. Drop it.”

  “I’m not going to,” she said, with more feeling than she meant. Still, after all this time, he was being ridiculous. “I’m a little drunk, I told you. Is it because you’re holding on to this idea that you’re not good enough for her?”

  Zaraki leaned against the wall, feeling defeated. Aniska knew him too well. For a long time, he had thought that was the answer, but, faced with Lukas, he had admitted to himself it was cowardice holding him back now. “No, it’s not that,” he said, shaking his head. “If I told her and she didn’t feel the same, I’d have to leave and never see her again. If I never know - well, at least this way I get to stay with her.”

  Aniska stared at him in horror. “That’s awful. That’s no way for you to live.”

  “Something is always better than nothing, Ani. Come on, I’ll walk you out. Can you make it home safe? If people see us walking around town together, it’ll be a bit of a giveaway who you’re working for. No, I’ll find you an escort.” Though gods help anyone who tried to take advantage of Aniska, drunk or not.

  He walked with her to the gate and sent a guard as a minder. As Zaraki headed up to his rooms, he ran into a drunk and stumbling Lukas. “Sire, are you lost?” he asked, trying to sound diffident and failing, as usual. The prince’s apartments were on the other side of the castle.

  “Just returning to my bed from the queen’s rooms, peasant,” Lukas slurred and waved, dismissing him with two fingers. Zaraki hated him.

  “Sire, you know you’re not to call me that. The queen will be displeased.” When he spoke, it sounded like a lecture to an errant schoolboy.