Replace Me

by Jennifer Foor

  While walking to the elevator, Peyton put her arm through mine and leaned her head on my shoulder. “Thanks for takin’ me out last night, Shayne. You’re a great big bro.”

  I leaned my head on hers. “I feel like shit!”

  “So which one of those girls did you hook up with?”

  I looked at her and shook my head. “Does it matter?”

  “Geesh! What’s your problem?”

  I realized that I’d snapped for no apparent reason. She stared at me, wondering why. “Sorry! If you must know, I was with both of them. Happy now? Save the disapprovin’ grin, I know I’m an asshole.”

  She backed away and covered her mouth. “Wow! Have you done that a lot? Do you totally get off on bein’ with two at once? You’re such a dog.”

  “Um, no! Don’t go tellin’ Parker either. I don’t feel like his young ass lecturin’ me over it.”

  “Parker isn’t a saint you know. He’s done that before with these two girls in high school. I think they were just making out and stuff, but he still went there.”

  Flashes of things that had happened just hours before hit me as the elevator doors opened. Peyton and I put on our fake happy faces and followed our parents out to the car.

  Aside from their morning grumbling with each other, they didn’t talk much to us, except for the one comment my dad made stating that I looked like Hell. I could always count on him being a total dick first thing in the morning.

  When we got to the campus, a few minutes later, Parker was already standing outside of his dorm with his girlfriend in tow. She was blonde, petite and totally his type.

  Parker always went for the classy girls.

  We got out and stretched while he told my parents where we should go to eat. After a ten-minute discussion, me and Peyton took the liberty of riding with Parker, so that we could avoid being in the car another minute with the parental units.

  I was surprised when he offered me the front seat and told her to sit in the back, but didn’t argue since I wanted the extra legroom anyway.

  “How was the hotel?”

  “Fine for the few hours we were there. Shayne took me out to that party you told me about.”

  I saw him look in the rear view mirror at his twin. “Really? Am I going to be hearin’ stories about some out of town chick getting all crazy, cause that really ain’t cool, Pey?"

  Leave it to Parker to act like a parent. Too bad the king of responsibility was a soon-to-be father himself.

  “Spare me the lectures. Shayne was the one who stayed out all night with two girls.”

  I turned around and gave her a dirty look. “Way to keep a secret.”

  “He’s our brother, for Christ sakes! Get over it.”

  She didn’t understand that as much as I enjoyed myself, I felt equally shitty about what I’d done. The more people that knew, the easier it would be for Lacey to find out. Then my fate would be sealed.

  It was all too much to think about with such little sleep. I wanted to be able to admit that I had enjoyed myself, a part of me had, but not the part that wanted to feel what only Lacey had made me feel.

  How could I have been so blind?

  “Dude, you need to watch who you stick your dick in at this school. There are some nasty bitches around here.” He looked back at his girlfriend. “I’m glad I found my girl when I did.”

  I smiled when I saw how happy my little brother was when he looked at her. It was a damn shame that it was all going to blow up on him. “I was safe, man. You don’t need to worry about me. It was a one-time thing. Nothin’ to write home about.”

  “I can’t believe how many chicks are bi-sexual now. It’s crazy.” Peyton had to add her two-cents, which I was sure made Parker’s girlfriend completely uncomfortable.

  She shocked us when she spoke. “Most of my friends are. Sometimes I wonder if they do it because they think it’s cool. They were never like that when we were younger.”

  The car got quiet. That was the reaction from each of us.

  Finally parker broke the silence. “That’s why we were meant to meet. You know what you want and don’t care what anyone else thinks.” Then he turned to me and his words stabbed me right in the gut. “You never should have ended things with that chick, Lacey. She was real cool.”

  And there it was…

  Even my younger siblings were in agreement that I was a total loser for messing things up with Lacey. I had to find a way to get her back, because if two bi-sexual women couldn’t fill that void, than nobody else could either.

  Lacey

  I woke up to Sky jumping on the bed. “Wake up sleepy head.”

  I pulled the covers over my face and rolled in the other direction. “I wouldn’t be tired if you two didn’t keep me up all night with your panting.”

  She giggled. “We tried to be quiet. I swear.”

  “Yeah, that wasn’t quiet, Sky.”

  She tugged on the blanket pulling it off of my head. “It’s not like you were here all night anyway. We heard the motorcycle leave and then come back. When Ford went to make sure the place was locked up, we found out you weren’t even here. So, I’m guessing you went somewhere with Joey. Save me the argument and get to the details, you little ho.”

  I rolled my eyes and finally turned to face her. “We went for a ride. That’s it. Nothing else happened.”

  “You’re talking about Joey. I mean, I love my boyfriend, but you have to admit that Joey is equally hot. You can tell he’s part Cooper, that’s for sure.”

  “I’m not even going there. You heard how rude he was. He’s a fool if he thinks I’d even consider being with someone like that.”

  I thought about how blatant he had been with me and it pissed me off again.

  “I hear you saying the words, but I don’t believe you. You went for a ride with the guy, alone and in the dark. How did it feel when your arms wrapped around him on that bike?”

  She was sitting Indian style on my bed, waiting for some juicy details that I really didn’t have. “Seriously? The ride was exciting. He never asked for a thing and brought me back here. It wasn’t a big deal.”

  Sky laughed at me. “Well, even if you aren’t going to tell me everything, I just want you to know that Ford says he’s a real ladies man. He’d be good to help you forget, but don’t count on it ever being more.”

  As she stood up and walked toward the door, I had to reiterate. “Nothing is happening anyway. I’m not interested in him at all.”

  She laughed again and closed the door behind her. I knew she didn’t believe me and it made me crazy. I was certain that he was a total douche. Why would she even think I’d want someone that could potentially treat me worse than Shayne?

  Just thinking of him made me feel sad. I loathed admitting it, but I missed him. I missed his sweet smile and his bright blue eyes. I missed the way his hands glided against my skin and gave my chills.

  I was pathetic for not being able to get over a liar like he was.

  Once I got up and made it out into the living room, I noticed that Ford wasn’t around. “Is he working on a weekend again?”

  Sky sipped at her coffee before answering. “Yeah. He and my dad are working on some new contract for a French company.”

  “Wow, I can’t believe he was just a shitty mechanic when you met him. Isn’t it weird, almost like he’s someone different now?”

  She shrugged. “Not really. He’s the same guy. I mean, sure, he’s determined and has goals, but I’m proud of him for wanting to succeed. He strives for it and my parents adore him, almost as much as I do.”

  I held up my hand for her to stop. “Please, save me the details. I heard how much you adore each other last night through these thin ass walls. I don’t need the visuals too.”

  “We really didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “Whatever!”

  Sky got quiet as I sat down across from her. She looked down and then back up at me. I knew that look she was giving me and I didn’t want her two-cents
, but she was giving it to me anyway. “You know, I heard that Shayne really misses you.”

  “I know you didn’t hear that from Ford.” Ever since the big lie, Ford hadn’t been speaking to his cousin.

  “I heard it from Peyton. She came over to beg us to buy her alcohol one night. You know, it’s crazy the things we do for a six-pack when we’re her age. She literally drove a good thirty-minutes for a chance of getting beer.”

  “Peyton exaggerates, not to mention that Shayne still lied. We didn’t break up because I fell out of love with him. I miss him like crazy, but I refuse to be with someone who can’t commit, and can’t be honest. End of story.”

  She dropped the subject, probably noticing my animosity. It was a good thing, because I was trying my hardest to forget about Shayne. I didn’t need reminders that would linger in my mind. I needed distractions with hot guys that wore leather jackets and rode motorcycles. As long as I didn’t have to put out, I knew Joey would be a great distraction. Maybe he was just what the doctor ordered.

  No strings.

  No heartbreak.

  The perfect medicine.

  Chapter 6

  Shayne

  After breakfast, my parents decided to go sightseeing and give us ‘kids’ time to hang out. I knew it was going to be the time where I told Parker about the pregnancy. He needed to know the truth.

  It would have been so easy to just have come out and say it, but I hesitated when I saw him loving on his girlfriend. It wasn’t just the way he held her, or the fact that they seemed so genuinely happy. I felt that emptiness in the pit of my stomach and knew that I’d had the chance at that kind of feeling and fucked it up. That saying, where they say something like you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, well it’s the truth.

  Parker was going to have to walk away from something he cared about too, all because of something he could have never imagined happening.

  Knowing that this could be something real for him, I hated that one night could change everything for him.

  The boy had a chance, not just with love, but with a career in sports and a future of success.

  Peyton made it easier for me to get our brother alone. She saw some hot guy that the girl knew and drug her over to introduce them. Parker crossed his arms and leaned against a cinderblock wall. “What do you think? She’s great ain’t she? I tell ya, I never imagined meeting someone like her, so soon in my life, but I swear to ya, she’s the one. I just know it. I can feel it in every inch of my body, bro.” He brought his hand up to my shoulder and looked over where his girlfriend and Peyton stood. “I’m not messin’ this up. She’s too good to lose.”

  “There’s somethin’ I need to tell you.”

  He gave me a weird look. “I think Peyton beat you to it. Look, man, Dad can’t find out. My life will be over. I don’t want a kid right now and I especially don’t want one with her. It was a mistake, Shayne; a mistake that I never wanted to get out. Now this shit happened.”

  What was I supposed to say to my brother? “When did she tell you?”

  “A couple weeks ago, when she talked to Lacey. Apparently she called her and asked why you guys broke up. Lacey told her that Ford wasn’t the father. I didn’t tell Peyton that it was mine. She doesn’t have a clue that I slept with Ashley that night.”

  “Damn. Why didn’t you call me? I’m the one person who knew about it.”

  “Because I’m fuckin’ scared to death. How would you feel if you had the opportunity to make your dreams come true and then somethin’ like this happens? I don’t want a fuckin’ kid.” Parker had tears in his eyes and I could tell he was petrified. He looked over to make sure the girls weren’t walking in our direction yet. “What am I goin’ to do?”

  “Have you called Ashley?”

  “I don’t have her damn number, man. Before that night, I’d barely said two words to her. Can’t we just give her money for an abortion? I mean, the shit with Ford is over, so she doesn’t have a reason to keep it, right?”

  I put my hand on his shoulder, realizing that I was his only hope. “We’ll figure it out. Give me a couple days to talk to Ash. I think since she’s had some time for it all to sink in, she’ll change her mind about keepin’ the baby.”

  Parker, in front of the whole courtyard, pulled me in for a hug. “Thank you.”

  “I’m proud of you. You’re goin’ after your dreams and I envy that. We’ll figure things out. I promise.”

  Parker’s face remained the same. “What if she won’t change her mind?”

  “I’ll handle it. You stay here and focus on school. I’ll do whatever I have to. It’s all goin’ to work out for you.”

  He smiled quickly and then shook his head. “I hope you’re right, bro. I can’t lose everythin’ that I’ve worked so hard for. Dad would fuckin’ kill me and I’d hate myself.”

  “Just don’t tell anyone, especially Peyton.” We shook hands as I put on a fake smile and pretended that his life wasn’t about to change.

  I couldn’t guarantee that, though. In fact, I had no idea how this was all going to play out. By putting my foot in my mouth, I was setting things into stone before I could even gather what was coming next. In order to protect my brother, I was digging myself into a deeper hole with my father.

  I feared that this couldn’t possibly end well.

  My family stayed and watched Parker play in his first college football game that weekend. I avoided my parents and pretended that everything was okay in the world, when inside I felt like it was all falling apart. This was no longer about me losing Lacey, or making mistakes.

  I had to get Ashley to abort the pregnancy. Neither of them were capable of being parents at this point in their lives. Without Ford, I figured she wouldn’t want to continue with it anyway.

  There was still a chance that she did, though. In that case, things would become even more complicated.

  I waited until I got home to meet up with Ash. Instead of being in public, where people could see us, we met at an old abandoned farm on the outside of her town, since she wasn’t willing to come anywhere near where I lived.

  I climbed into her passenger side and closed the door. “Thanks for meetin’ me.”

  “What do you want, Shayne?”

  “Clearly, I think we need to talk.”

  “About what?”

  I pulled an envelope of money out of my pocket. “This is enough for you to have an abortion. Take it and do the right thing. You know you don’t want this baby and neither does my brother.”

  She shoved the envelope out of the way. “Screw you! I’m not gettin’ rid of my baby.”

  I covered my face with one of my hands and rubbed my temples. “Ash, please reconsider. My brother can’t be there for you. He has a real chance at getting somewhere with his life. I won’t let you or that baby stand in his way.”

  I was determined to protect Parker. She wasn’t going to use his accomplishments to her advantage. My brother wasn’t going to be her way of out town.

  I looked over at her, almost pleading without saying another word. She raised her brow. “I’m keepin’ the baby, Shayne. There’s nothin’ you can do to change my mind.”

  I had a decision to make and a brother that I clearly needed to protect. With little options, I knew what had to be done next and I hated that it had come down to this. I was the one who was strong enough to live with this problem. I could handle the judging the disappointment from my parents. I could deal with the scrutiny of sleeping with someone that my cousin had been with, because it was what everyone expected out of me anyway. I was the fuck-up.

  No matter how old I was, or what I’d done to make things right, I was clearly the one that couldn’t get things right. Nobody would even question this, because it was what they said would happen all along.

  Ashley had been a part of the family, since she’d dated Ford for years. There was a time when we were all pretty close. She knew she could trust me.

  “Fine, you want to keep
the baby, then you’re going to do it my way. From this day forward, as far as everyone is concerned, that’s my baby you’re havin’.”

  She looked shocked. “What? You’re crazy!”

  “I’m serious, Ash. I can’t let this destroy Parker and I sure as Hell don’t want my father findin’ out later. This is the only way I see things workin’ out.”

  “Your plan will never work. Ford knows the truth.”

  “I’ll handle Ford. Honestly, he’ll probably be happy that my life is so miserable after keepin’ your secret from him.”

  “I’m not sleepin’ with you and we’re definitely not gettin’ married, if that’s what you’re thinkin’. I don’t need your help.”

  “Save your drama. I wouldn’t marry your ass if my life depended on it. At some point you’re goin’ to want someone to take responsibility for that child and I’m offering to be that person. The child will grow up right. For someone that’s so sure of what she wants, I think that my offer would put your mind at ease. You’ve known me for years, Ash. I’ll help you.”

  “Why would you do something like that? I know you hate me.”

  I was realizing just what I was signing on to. I hated myself for it, but out of panic I’d sealed my fate. “I might not like you, but I love my brother. I promised my dad that I’d look out for him that night and I didn’t. You may not understand, but this is the only way I can make sure he never finds out what Parker did.”

  “You’d rather take the blame for sleepin’ with me? As close as you were to Ford, do you honestly think anyone would believe it?”

  I laughed. “My father thinks I’m a fuckin’ loser. Of course, he will believe it. Besides, Ford isn’t speakin’ to me, so it makes perfect sense to assume that I fucked his woman and knocked her up.”

  “What about your girlfriend?”

  “We’re through. She wants nothin’ to do with me.”

  “You really want to be a father to a child that ain’t even yours?”

  “No. I’m not goin’ to lie to you. I don’t, at all, but I’m goin’ to do it because like it or not, that baby is my blood. I may not have knocked you up, but he or she is my family and I will take care of it, because it’s the right thing to do.”