Shades of Redemption (Mists of the Fae Book 3)

by Jaime Marks

  The concession shook him slightly. This boy had seen him commit heinous acts. “Th- Thank you, Byryn.” The uncertainty evident in his voice.

  They watched the boy leave.

  “Come, Cymeryn. Regardless of what you decide, if she senses you and I let you leave without seeing her I’ll never hear the end of it.” He followed him to a cliff face where he hit some unseen trigger that revealed a staircase in the stone. “When we get to the top wait until I come for you. I need to assess where the patrols are. Unless you plan on staying?”

  “We both know that it would not be a good idea. Think of how it would affect all you have accomplished. I am the representation to the Fae of everything that is Dark and sinister within the Shade. Her people will not trust the connection we share.” Cymeryn reiterated as they climbed the stairs.

  “They will see in time, Cymeryn. I’m not saying it would be easy but you underestimate her ability to overcome their concerns. You should see her, it’s magnificent to watch.” He reached up and triggered the exit. “I won’t be long.”

  Cymeryn leaned against the wall considering his options. It was becoming painfully obvious that he was not thinking clearly. He should not even be here in this moment. He could not be a part of her world. He needed to be sure she was safe but he was unsure if he could keep up his façade within the Shade. It was imperative he devise a strategy that would allow him to help her. He was about to turn to go when Marcus appeared at the opening.

  “Don’t, Cymeryn. You’re being rash and I’ve never known you to be so. At least stay awhile and think this through. If you go back and are discovered do you think they won’t realize that you’re changing? They can just as easily use you to get to her as they can use her to get to you.”

  Looking up at Marcus as he leaned against the entrance to the cave he knew he was right. He needed to get his head sorted. Releasing a breath he nodded and followed him out of the hidden staircase emerging onto a large plateau. They stood before a castle that rivaled the Palace of Light. He took in the grounds in awe. It was as if they had just entered a small city. He studied the defenses out of habit and had to admire the large wall that encircled the grounds, the positioning of the guard towers, and the formidable iron gates.

  “Quickly, the patrol will be by shortly and we have to be inside before they come through.” Marcus insisted.

  Chapter 15

  Byryn walked slowly across the plateau as he approached the Palace. He was lost in his thoughts and wanted to have his head on straight before he risked running into Kato, or dealing with his Dad. Marcus was right, they were both already suspicious. If only they knew the truth, suspicious wouldn’t even cover it.

  He never imagined he would ever see Cymeryn in such a state. He was lost, confused, and uncertain. Hell, he was downright scared. Byryn wasn’t sure how it had happened. Shade couldn’t be Redeemed without concession. From what he understood, Shade that had been turned had to acknowledge their trigger. They had to, in some way inside themselves, fight the Darkness and accept balance. It was a struggle and drain on Reyana to guide them through it as she merged their essences.

  The night of the Claiming rituals when he took Kylion as his own and become Grifyn’s son, the night Grifyn and Trina had bonded, they had been late because Reyana had Redeemed Demytria and Kato. Kato had been rather quick and painless as he had never really given into it. He wasn’t Shade. Demytria however had taken a while even though the Gray had already taken hold in her. He didn’t know the particulars, but he knew there was some internal battle that first Reyana and then Demytria had faced. They had both been drained afterward. Marcus had shared his essence with her and worked with her to get her stable enough for the rituals. Then she had Redeemed Trycen and they had been worried she would faint during the Claimings. It wasn’t something easily achieved.

  Marcus had told him Cymeryn was Gray but he’d also said he refused Redemption. He had chosen to go back to the Shade. So he should still be Shade, as Demytria had been prior to Redemption, but he had opened himself and let Byryn sense him. Cymeryn didn’t know it yet, but he was definitely not Shade. He felt like Marcus really. He was still dominated by Darkness, much like Marcus was still dominated by Light, but they both had Light, Dark and Gray essence and Byryn was sure they could wield all three. He was also sure neither would be affected, infected or harmed by any of the essences.

  Perhaps it was their bond with Reyana, or even the pregnancy. She was after all a goddess in Fae form. His mind wondered to Staryana. He had been similar to Marcus before Grifyn had awakened him Gray. He could still sense all of the essences easily, but he hadn’t been able to wield any aside from Gray. Hard to tell if it was going to stay that way after he bonded fully with Staryana.

  Ok, right, he had to stop that train of thought right now. Staryana was a temptation he struggled with regularly. He would respect her. He would not dishonor her by taking her before her awakening. Sighing as he ascended the steps to the main entrance of the Palace he sat near the top of them.

  He was kidding himself. To keep her safe he would have to start spending the night with her again. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, if he could he’d have her by his side every single minute, but she knew exactly the effect she had on him. When the Darkness surged in her she tended to get very…enticing. She’d almost broken him several times. He wanted her so badly, needed her. The irony of the situation was that she wanted him too and he was the one struggling not to give in.

  It was a twisted turn of fate considering he was usually the one doing the seducing, but he wanted more than just sex with her. This was his way of proving to both of them that he could take care of her needs, not just his own. The truth was that she’d come so close to breaking him that he had stopped sneaking into her room to prevent himself from taking her. He had no idea how he was going to continue to resist her.

  He smiled just thinking about how she loved to challenge him. It wouldn’t be too much longer. She’d awaken soon despite her age. The awakening almost never took hold in a young under the age of twenty unless it was forced. He was still only eighteen when he took in too much of the Dark essence Syneous had been pumping into her a little more than a month ago. The awakening had taken him as a result. They all thought they had time with Staryana but he had felt it tonight. If he hadn’t been so worried about her wellbeing he might’ve been tempted to let it go, but the state she had been in?

  His anger surged in him. It had been a really long ass day. Poor Kylion. He’d hoped with all the changes that he would be able to keep Kylion safe from this war. The fact that his son had been beaten to hurt him? It was difficult not to go hunt that little prick Dracyn down and kill him with his bare hands.

  “Seems you never made it to the unawakened corridors. What’s on your mind, son?” Grifyn sat beside him on the steps. “Don’t worry, Trina and Star are having some ‘girl time’. I figured that I would come see if I could give you a hand. That nail color they insist on burns my nose anyway.”

  He chuckled at that. He’d had some of the Guardians pick up some small human comforts for her and some of the other girls to give them a sense of home. Grifyn despised the chemical smells of nail polish and remover but he was pretty used to it.

  “Sorry, I needed some time and I didn’t want to upset her. I should’ve somehow communicated it to you but I wasn’t really in my head.” He hated lying to his Dad. Hated it. Lies and secrets were the currency of the Shade and he was trying to put that all behind him. After tonight though, he could definitely understand Marcus’ hesitancy.

  “How did your meeting with Marcus go?” Grifyn’s tone was shrewd. He knew that Byryn was hiding something.

  With a sighed he leaned back on his elbows. “Well enough, I suppose. Reyana evaded her guards again. I’m supposed to let you know he’s going to spend time with her.”

  His Dad looked him over before sitting forward, his elbows on his knees with is hands clasped in front of him. Grifyn didn’t look at him as he
spoke, he just stared out over the courtyard. “I know there’s a lot going on right now, Byryn and I know that you feel solely responsible for Star and Kylion’s safety. What I want you to understand though, son, is if there is something going on, something that has you feeling like you’re in over your head, I’m here to help you. Whether it’s dealing with your past, protecting your soon-to-be mate and your young…or guarding some Fae’s secrets, I’m here.

  “Marcus is a complicated Fae. He wasn’t always, but when Reyana died, a lot changed for him. He is a Fae of honor, never doubt that, but he has had an increasingly difficult time trusting anyone. He has an annoying need to attempt to do everything himself, even if it puts him and those around him at risk.”

  He looked over his shoulder at him, “Now I know, that there’s a lot more going on than Marcus has told us. I can tell by the level of agitation and stress he’s lugging around. I can also tell by you, son, because you’re starting to carry that same level of tension. I know that Marcus is basically your Fae-in-law and there are many reasons you should confide in each other. In a respect it’s a relief that you do and I have no issue with it. My concern Byryn, is that I don’t want you getting caught in the fall out.”

  “Shit, Dad.” He raked his hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m not gonna lie to you. There is a lot of heavy shit going on but to the best of my knowledge Marcus plans on telling you and Kato in the morning. He wasn’t able to confirm it until tonight.”

  He shook his head, “So Kato was right then, you were covering something at the meeting this eve. Does this have anything to do with the Darkness you sensed surging in Staryana?”

  Byryn nodded. “It has to do with her Father.”

  Grifyn looked over at him, “But you aren’t going to tell me what it is yet, are you?”

  He groaned, raking his hands through his hair again. He didn’t want to reveal Cymeryn and he had no idea how to explain what Marcus knew. It was better to let him deal with it so he could protect his twin. He shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was protecting his Grandsire after everything he’d done. “I swore to Marcus I would let him discuss it at the morning meeting.” His head dropped in shame. “I’m sorry Dad.”

  They sat in silence. The tension between them thick and uncomfortable. He felt like shit for keeping Marcus’ secrets but he couldn’t break that trust. If he hadn’t seen Cymeryn with his own eyes and sensed him for himself he would never have believed it possible for him to be Redeemed enough to enter the realm. He understood Marcus’ need to protect his family, to protect Reyana and Staryana. Their goals were aligned.

  Byryn finally spoke needing to break the silence that had enveloped them. “You’re angry.”

  “Not at you son, though I wish that you would come to me.” Grifyn replied softly.

  “If it would’ve become a risk I would have spoken up, I swear, but he’s just trying to protect his family as best he can. I can’t really fault him for that.” He reasoned.

  He watched his Dad lean back on the steps, “No, I suppose we can’t, Byryn but he needs to realize that we are all his family. We would all lay down our lives for him. He needs to start trusting us again.”

  Byryn nodded. “I did tell him that. I don’t know if he heard me…I think in some strange way he feels his secrets protect all of us, but secrets and lies are the currency of the Shade. No good can really come from them in the long run.”

  He scanned the flat gray stone of the plateau that made up the courtyard hoping that Marcus didn’t bring Cymeryn through the front doors, though he wasn’t even sure they would come to the Palace. His Grandsire seemed determined to go back. In all honesty at this point, aside from the normal everyday bullshit they faced, the one who was at the most risk right now, was Cymeryn. Did he really just think of Cymeryn as one of them? Shit, it really had been a long day.

  Was he one of them, though? Did he even deserve to be? On so many levels he could relate to where Cymeryn was standing there in the woods. He had been in that exact place trying to reason out his options a little more than a month ago. There were days it was still where he was. The main difference though was that Byryn had always had limits, where Cymeryn had had none.

  “Dad, do you really believe anyone can change, that everyone is worthy of Redemption?” He watched him closely trying to gauge his answer against the current situation. He was looking for some insight, some answer as to how he should be feeling about all this. He was also looking for how hard the road ahead was about to become.

  Grifyn released a long breath. “I believe, son, that every Fae has the potential for it. As far as to whether or not they are worthy? That’s not really for me to say. When the topic of saving the Shade was debated in the past I always used to answer that only their actions could dictate that, but now I need to consider which actions? The Darkness is a Taint. It makes otherwise good Fae make poor choices and commit horrible acts. Consider your aunt. Demytria was the sweetest girl, the embodiment of Light. Yet as Shade she committed horrendous acts and her ruthlessness was unmatched save for Cymeryn himself. Some would perhaps say she is unworthy of Redemption, but there are a lot of shades of Gray. If she had not been infected by the Darkness that plagued her, Demytria would never have committed such acts.”

  He thought it through as he watched the flags that lined the wall dance in the breeze. Demytria was still struggling to adapt to her new life, but only in public really. When she was alone with Kato, or the rest of their family, she was at ease. Even she and Kylion had developed a certain comfort with one another. When they were in public however, she was uncertain and hesitant. Many still regarded her with distrust. Some of the Fae had expressed safety and security concerns with her presence. Some of the unawakened Shade had shied from her in fear.

  “It really isn’t up to us, is it? It’s all subjective.” He mused.

  Grifyn nodded, “It really isn’t for any of us to judge, son. Only the Divine Being can make that call and I believe by granting the power for their salvation he has made his opinion clear. Reyana can free them from the influence of Darkness but they must still choose to release it themselves. There is no easy answer. All we can do is listen with our hearts and try to go by the actions a Fae takes today.”

  He really hoped that his Dad meant that. Of all the Fae, Mythos, Kato, Grifyn and Marcus had the most reason to despise Cymeryn. Marcus had obviously come to terms with his twin, but Kato and Demytria’s wounds were still fresh, and their pain was Grifyn’s. King Mythos? He had never forgiven him for what had happened to Reyana in her first incarnation and it was clear after last month he still wanted blood for how she had been treated.

  If only he knew the level of restraint Cymeryn had employed. Byryn knew first hand that the damage to Reyana’s body had been minimal. Cymeryn was not shy in front of audiences when there were matters to be addressed. Byryn had witnessed some of his more carnal urges first hand and seen the aftermath numerous times. He may have marked her somewhat but he he’d taken great care with her. Byryn had almost wondered if it had been consensual, which of course he now knew it had been.

  “Are you still questioning if you are worthy of the Redemption you have been gifted, Byryn?” Grifyn spoke breaking into Byryn’s thoughts.

  “Always Dad.” He sighed sincerely. It may not be why he had asked but it was still the truth. “It’s something I struggle with every day.”

  Grifyn stared up at the sky. Silver lights twinkled in the dusk of what served as night here. “See those lights up there?”

  Byryn glanced up. “Yeah.”

  “I’m not sure if they are faeries or stars but they’re there every eve, shining in the sky, even though it doesn’t ever get Dark as night.”

  “Yeah, I can never tell whether or not they’re moving to figure out what they are either.” He shrugged having no idea where this was going.

  “I don’t really give it much thought either. Do you know why?”

  “Why, Dad?”

  “Beca
use whatever they are, they are supposed to be there. They are serving some purpose that causes them to be where they are in this moment and I accept that.” Grifyn met his eyes. “Fae and humans are much the same way. We aren’t always sure why they are here in our lives, or how they came to be there, but they are serving a purpose by being there that is often beyond our comprehension. We accept that they are meant to be where they are for whatever the reason. Sometimes son, things in our lives happen and we need to remember that it’s just the way of things. Questioning and stressing about them isn’t going to change them. They will still be there. Sometimes, you just need to accept them and move forward.”

  Byryn mused over those words. It made sense in so many ways, in regards to himself, and in regards to Cymeryn, and even Demytria. The fact that any of them were in the position they were made little sense. It certainly wasn’t because they deserved it. If he were honest with himself, he may not have rose to the high level of atrocities that Cymeryn and Demytria had committed, but they had all committed unforgivable acts and they had all been given a second chance to get things right. One that they hadn’t asked for and didn’t even know existed. There were so many reasons that they had not to be trusted. Yet, Byryn and Demytria were trusted. Perhaps in time, Cymeryn would be as well. There were so many unanswered questions as to how this was all going to play out but he was starting to realize, in the end, it would be however it was meant to be.

  “Thanks Dad. That helps a lot actually.” Byryn smiled ruefully, “Just remember you said all that though. It might come in handy soon.”

  Grifyn rose a brow studying him, but didn’t comment.

  “Come on,” Byryn said as he rose. “Let’s not keep our mates waiting. Ummm, I mean…” He tried to back pedal nervously realizing what he had implied.