Matters of the Heart

by Rosemary Smith

  After all the gallant young men I introduced you to here in London, each one of whom you didn’t find the least bit interesting, I now find you have met your match and have lost your heart to a man in the remotest part of Cornwall. I hope all fares well with this Robert Thornton and knowing you so well, I’m safe in the knowledge you are a good judge of character and will, hopefully, not let your heart rule your head. Please write soon, Jane, with your news. In the meantime you are ever in my thoughts and heart.

  Yours, as always, Amy.

  I clutched the letter to me. Dear Amy, how I could use her advice now and was I, quite contrary to her opinion, letting my heart rule my head over Robert? Only time would tell. I tucked the letter in a drawer and quickly prepared myself for luncheon and to face my grandmother.

  Standing outside her bedroom door, I straightened the skirts of my day dress and touched my mother’s amethyst brooch, which I treasured so much, hoping to gain some sort of courage from it. I need not have worried, for Grandmother was not as angry as I had expected. She sat by the fire and indicated for me to sit opposite her. I watched the large ring on her hand flash in the firelight.

  ‘Jane, I am not going to admonish you further over today’s unpleasant incident, but I wish you to tell me what has caused this strife between you and your aunt.’

  She leaned back in her chair awaiting my answer.

  ‘To be truthful with you, Grandmother, I am as perplexed as you except to say that today Aunt Laura intimated it was to do with my mother. This I cannot understand, as reading Mama’s diaries she and Aunt Laura always seemed to be close except...’

  I hesitated. Should I tell Grandmother what Mama had written in her diary before she left Pendenna?

  ‘Except what, Jane?’

  She leaned forward in her chair.

  ‘Tell me, child, for I wish to know. You have not had the happiest of beginnings in life and my heart grieves for your mother for I should have helped her more. Now it is too late, but it is not too late to do the right thing for you. So tell me the truth, please, Jane.’

  ‘Except for what Mama wrote in her diary,’ I went on. ‘She said Laura had no sympathy for the position she found herself in. It was as if Laura hated her. Why should this be, Grandmother? And why should Aunt Laura dislike me so?’

  ‘I suspected at the time all was not well between my two daughters and wonder often if it could have been jealousy on Laura’s part although Laura was engaged to be married to Andrew. Your mama was always loved by everyone, including Andrew Trehaine. Laura was always possessive and domineering and Felicity went along with it because she was not of a quarrelsome nature. I can imagine that Laura could have despised your mama for getting herself with child and in some way escaping Laura’s hold over her.’

  ‘As we are being honest, Grandmother, is it possible that Aunt Laura is jealous of Robert and myself?’

  ‘Oh, yes, dear, I do. She has had designs on him since the day he stepped through the doors of Pendenna Reach. I know Robert does not reciprocate Laura’s desire for he has told me so, and Laura, too, but Robert is a gentleman and is polite and attentive to her for my sake and for the sake of peace, but your aunt now has you as competition for Robert’s affections and if the affections towards you are realised she would undoubtedly resent you for it.’

  ‘It would explain much and I must confess to not knowing how to deal with it.’

  I sighed and Grandmother leaned forward and took my hand in hers.

  ‘Tell me, Jane, for I need to know. Is there some affection between you and Robert?’

  I did not know how to answer but the old lady coaxed it from me.

  ‘Come, child, your mother was honest with me, though I could do nothing about the situation. I wish that I had, but for you, dear, I would do anything to further your happiness.’

  ‘Yes, there is affection, and I believe it to be more than that on my part, for I am sure I love him.’

  Grandmother let go of my hand and both her hands flew to her mouth.

  ‘Jane, Jane, how happy you have made me but the question is, does Robert love you?’

  She looked at me with expectation. ‘I cannot say in all honesty for neither of us has declared a love for each other, but I am ever hopeful.’

  ‘You must tell me, child, how this progresses for I had every hope of this as I have told you before.’

  So saying she leaned back in her chair breathlessly.

  ‘There has been enough excitement for one day and it must be time to go down for lunch.’

  ‘And what am I to do about Aunt Laura for it worries me so?’

  She again leaned forward and patted my hand.

  ‘Ignore her unpleasantness, Jane, as I do. It is a pity she is this way but Laura has never been a happy girl. Ignore her.’

  As we went down to lunch I thought how this advice was easier said than done.

  Next morning, Robert, as good as his word, sought me out at breakfast to escort me to Granny Merriock’s cottage. Why he thought I needed him I didn’t know except I remembered my mother’s words — Granny Merriock came to the house today and told me to leave her grandson alone. Was she hostile towards me, too, because my mother eloped with one of her own? Perhaps I did need Robert after all.

  At my insistence, we walked. It was a dry, sunny day although the ground was waterlogged from weeks of rain. The ruts in the lane made by the carriage wheels made walking quite a trial and by the time we had arrived at the cottage my boots were covered in mud as were Robert’s and my skirt was also mud-stained. We had spoken of everything from London to Pendenna, anything except that night alone together in the library. He steadied me several times on the way and his strong arm had encircled my waist, sending my pulse racing. As I made to step up the cottage path, Robert took my arm and drew me back to face him.

  ‘Don’t expect too much of this visit, Janie. I wouldn’t want you to be hurt and distressed.’

  So he thought as Aunt Laura. What did they know that I didn’t but intended soon to find out?

  ‘Thank you for your concern and support,’ I said and squeezed the hand on my arm. ‘This is something I have to do. She is my kinswoman.’

  It was Robert who knocked on the door and it seemed for ever before it slowly opened to reveal Granny Merriock. Close to, she looked much older than I thought at first. Deep lines etched her cheeks and eyes, but her violet-coloured eyes were still sharp.

  ‘Yes?’ she questioned in a voice far stronger than she looked.

  I glanced at Robert before I spoke.

  ‘Mrs Merriock, I believe I am your great-granddaughter, Jane Merriock, your John’s daughter.’

  For what seemed like minutes, she looked me up and down.

  ‘You are no great-granddaughter of mine. Please close the gate as you leave or the hens will escape.’

  She spoke the words quietly but with such underlying venom I felt weak at the knees and tears sprung to my eyes.

  Robert again took my arm and gently steered me towards the gate where I collapsed sobbing in his arms. Granny Merriock’s words were so final I knew I could not argue with her. They had both told me, both Robert and Aunt Laura, but why? I vowed to find an answer.

  The following morning, my eyes still red from weeping, I felt I needed to escape and have time to think so I decided to go for a ride on my own. After declining Molly’s attempt to arrange my hair, I sent her down to Jack to ask him to saddle Amber for me. Before she left Molly turned at the door.

  ‘It ain’t my place to say, miss,’ she said, ‘but I see you’ve been crying. It ain’t right you should be sad while I am so happy.’

  ‘It’s nothing, Molly. Now please run along while I get into my riding habit.’

  When she had gone, I dressed myself in my riding clothes. Looking in the mirror, I tossed my long hair behind me, hardly recognising myself. Tapping my riding crop gently on my palm I made my way down the staircase and to my dismay Robert was walking across the hall with, of all people, Alan Les
ter. He stopped to look up at me, an unfathomable expression on his face, while Mr Lester gazed at me in what appeared disbelief, however Robert found his tongue.

  ‘Where are you off to, Jane? And your hair...’

  For once he was lost for words.

  ‘I’m going riding, Mr Thornton. Jack is saddling Amber as we speak.’

  ‘Allow us to come with you, Jane, for I can see you are distressed and it will only take us a moment to change.’

  ‘No, thank you, but I wish to go alone. Good-day, gentlemen.’

  I walked past them without a backward glance, heading for the stables. As I walked through the door I heard Robert call after me.

  ‘But, Jane!’

  I carried on walking, smiling to myself. For once I had gone against his wishes and I felt quite pleased with myself.

  As I rode towards Polgent, Amber picking her way expertly across the moorland, my hair blowing in gay abandon behind me, I had a momentary feeling that I was being followed but dismissed the thought, until I saw a man on horseback heading towards me. As he reined in his mount close to me, I could see with some pleasure that it was Jason Trehaine.

  ‘Good morning, Miss Merriock. I hardly recognised you from a distance. May I hasten to add I don’t mean to sound rude when I say that, for you do, in fact, look quite lovely and so much like your mother that for a moment I believed it was indeed her. You look sad, if I may say so. Is there anything I can do to help?’

  ‘You are right, Mr Trehaine, I am sad and spent most of last night weeping. As to if you can help I do feel that I can confide in you but don’t wish to burden you with my troubles.’

  I smiled at him and when I looked at him again I thought how familiar he looked.

  ‘Apart from my visit to your home some weeks ago, have we ever met before, Mr Trehaine? I thought when I first saw you that we had.’

  ‘Indeed not,’ he said most emphatically, then changed the subject rather quickly. ‘Please, come back with me to Mannamead where we can talk and you can tell me what has upset you so.’

  ‘Why, thank you, I would like that.’

  So we spurred our mounts forward, riding along in a companionable silence. I felt so at ease with this man and trusted him implicitly.

  Arriving at Mannamead, a stable-hand led Amber away but not before I fed her a sugar lump and caressed her face. The house looked so tranquil in the morning sun and the windows did indeed sparkle. Simms greeted us in the hall, relieving me of my riding cape and crop. We went again to the drawing-room where a cheery fire was already burning in the grate.

  Now, Jane, if I may be so presumptuous as to call you by your Christian name, tell me what troubles you that you weep all night.’

  ‘It was Granny Merriock,’ I said, plunging straight into the problem and I noticed Jason Trehaine was taken aback.

  ‘Granny Merriock.’

  He repeated the name as if he was in a trance.

  ‘You have met with her, I take it?’

  His voice was now back to normal but he still looked, for want of a better word, stunned. Why did this woman have such an effect on people? I set to wondering what Grandmother’s reaction would be for I had not mentioned the name to her yet.

  ‘Yes, I went to see her at her cottage yesterday afternoon. After introducing myself to her, she denied I was her relation and told me to close the gate as I left, but I know that she is my father’s grandmother so why would she disown me in such a manner? I could not discuss it with her because I knew by her voice and the look in her eyes that was all she had to say.’

  Jason Trehaine had listened to me and I could now see concern for me in his eyes. He stood up and looked out of the window for several minutes and then came back and sat down.

  ‘Jane, there is much I could tell you but I feel this is not the right moment. Believe me when I say it is not Granny Merriock’s fault. Trust me when I say that one day soon you will know the truth behind all this but I have to consult someone first before I dare lay bare to you all I know.’

  His voice was steady and his words so sincere that I didn’t doubt him but I was even more perplexed.

  ‘And Aunt Laura?’ I said, for maybe he could throw light on this also even though my grandmother had tried to enlighten me only yesterday. ‘Why does she resent me so? Is it because of my mother? We had a confrontation yesterday outside the church and to say I am baffled by all this is very true. I’m beginning to feel unwanted here and I am seriously contemplating going back to London.’

  ‘Your Aunt Laura is, and always has been, a very unhappy woman as I have told you before. She was always jealous of your mother.’

  ‘Grandmother has told me this also, but I do not understand it. There is more to this whole problem than anyone is prepared to tell me but I trust you when you say you will enlighten me one day soon. Will it be here at Mannamead? Shall I call to see you one afternoon next week?’

  ‘Yes, dear, it will be arranged, I give you my promise. Now let us have some lunch and weep no more, for we all love you and have your best interests at heart, no-one more so than myself.’

  The next couple of hours I spent with Jason Trehaine were a tonic for me. His amusing conversation cheered me greatly and later that afternoon, when he escorted me back to Pendenna, the events of yesterday were firmly pushed to the back of my mind and I had every trust that this man had freed me from any doubt and puzzlement that I had in my mind.

  While walking back from the stables after leaving Amber in Jack’s capable hands, I encountered Robert with Alan Lester.

  ‘Ah, Jane,’ Robert said as he walked swiftly towards me, ‘where have you been? Your grandmother missed you at luncheon but I did not tell her you were out riding alone.’

  ‘So what did you tell her?’ I asked. ‘Only that you had gone riding.’

  ‘Well, if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, I will go and find my grandmother.’

  I made to walk on but Robert’s strong hand caught my arm.

  As I looked at him, his eyes looking into mine, he said, ‘If the weather is kind tomorrow please ride with me to the Dancing Damsels. I wish you to look on them with happy thoughts. I have spoken with your grandmother and she has given her permission for us to ride alone.’

  Tut I vowed never to go there again. The whole visit filled me with foreboding and unpleasant thoughts.’

  ‘You’ll come with me, Jane, for I have something to say to you, something of great importance.’

  As he spoke, he squeezed my arm gently, such a small gesture but it sent my pulses racing and I knew there was no going against his wishes.

  ‘Very well, Mr Thornton, I will meet you here at eleven on the morrow.’

  ‘Thank you, Jane,’ he almost breathed a sigh. ‘Till tomorrow then.’

  So saying, he released his grip on my arm.

  ‘Good afternoon, Miss Merriock,’ Alan Lester said as they walked away towards the stables.

  On reaching my room, I quickly changed from my riding habit to a day dress. Molly had lit a fire so it was fairly warm after the chill of the November day and the flames danced, casting their light across the walls, creating eerie orange shadows. As I pinned my mother’s brooch to the pleated frill of my dress I thought of Robert’s words and was more than curious to know what he wanted to say to me, but that would have to wait until tomorrow, for now I must seek out my grandmother. I guessed she would take me to task for missing luncheon.

  I found her in the drawing-room, sat by the fire, looking very alert and full of expectation.

  ‘Why, Jane, dear, sit opposite me so I can talk to you.’

  Doing as I was bid, I seated myself.

  ‘Apologies for my missing lunch.’

  ‘Never mind about that,’ Grandmother interrupted. ‘I’ve far more important things to talk about. I must tell you, dear, I have invited Mr Trehaine to dinner tomorrow evening and he has graciously accepted.’

  My first thought at this news was that Jason Trehaine had not mentioned this to me and id
ly thought this must be a surprise, which indeed it was.

  ‘It is many years since a Trehaine has entered this house, let alone dine here, so we must make him welcome, Jane.’

  ‘It will be a pleasure to do so, for I like Mr Trehaine very much, and how does Aunt Laura feel about this?’

  ‘She doesn’t know yet, but I will tell her later. I’m hoping it may lay to rest some of the ghosts which are haunting my daughter. Now, Jane, that brings me to something else which I wish to say, regarding that unfortunate incident outside the church.’

  ‘Apologies for that, too, but I am quite perplexed as to why Aunt Laura should have been so spiteful to me.’

  ‘I want you to tell me what the argument was over, Jane, and the truth, please, for the truth will come out in the end, dear, and you would not want to lie to your grandmother.’

  As she spoke, she looked me in the eyes. Hers were shining and held mine with determination and I knew I could only tell her the truth.

  ‘It was over Granny Merriock,’ I said quite boldly, at which her whole expression changed to one of fear and the eye contact was lost.

  ‘Jane, I want you to tell me what you know of Granny Merriock.’

  Her voice was strong.

  ‘I only know that she is my paternal grandmother and for some reason disowns the fact, for I have visited her cottage and she practically closed the door in my face. Robert was with me.’

  ‘What has this to do with Laura?’

  ‘I saw Granny Merriock in the congregation on Sunday and tried to catch up with her as she left the church. Aunt Laura followed me, anxious to see the spectacle our meeting would cause. And as I told you, quite truthfully on Sunday, Aunt Laura was so spiteful to me and said she disliked me because I am my mother’s daughter. To be honest, Grandmother, I can understand none of this. Granny Merriock disowns me, Aunt Laura seems to hate my mother and now me because I am her daughter. I spoke with Jason Trehaine today and he has promised me he will enlighten me very soon. There, now you have the truth of the situation. I am sorry but none of this is my doing and yet it seems somehow to have something to do with me. The question is, what?’