Pretending in Paradise

by M. Ullrich

  “Which is why I’m worried.”

  “I only have a minute, but I need some advice.” Emma pushed at the button beside the orange soda tab just to give her other hand something to do. “The coworker I was sent here with—”

  “I’m still mad I couldn’t go with you. We would’ve had so much fun together.” Christie sounded genuinely disappointed.

  “I know. Trust me, this trip would be a lot easier if you were here with me. Things with the coworker? Very rough in the beginning and then when we finally got the hang of it, we kissed and that just set us back.” Emma took a deep breath.

  “You kissed?”

  “Yeah, and then there’s this other woman here with her husband who keeps coming on to me. Normally it wouldn’t bother me because a threesome would be great right about now, but whatever’s going on with Caroline has me unsettled.” She put her thumbnail between her teeth.

  “Emma?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Calm down. Breathe. And stop biting your nails.”

  Emma frowned and slowly lowered her hand.

  “Caroline’s the babysitter you were sent with, right?”

  Emma smiled. “My coworker, yes.”

  “And you kissed because…”

  “Because,” Emma said. “We just did. We went to a poetry reading last night and then we got caught in the rain on the way back. Next thing you know, we were kissing.”

  “Poetry? It’s like she knew exactly how to hop on the expressway into your pants.” Christie let out a small grunt. “Then what happened?”

  “She freaked out. We agreed the moment got the best of us and we’d move on.”

  “So, what’s the problem? You’re starting to lose me, and I only have another five minutes to talk.”

  Pressure was starting to build behind her eyes. Emma pinched the bridge of her nose. “Sydney is the problem. She’s attractive, and her husband ain’t so bad either. They’d be a lot of fun.”

  “Go for it, then. Oh, tell them you have a friend who wants in but isn’t around. Ask if you can record it.”

  “Chris, I’m serious. I gently declined Sydney’s advances the other night, and we’re all going to be together tonight. I’m afraid she’s going to cause problems.”

  “What kind of problems?”

  “With me and Caroline,” Emma said in a shout. She peeked out into the hallway to make sure she was still alone. She lowered her voice and continued. “We’re supposedly in a relationship while we’re here and I don’t hate it, and I don’t think she does either. But then again it’s so hard to tell what she’s feeling or thinking sometimes.”

  “Listen, buddy, I can’t really help you here. Sounds to me like you’d rather it be Caroline who was coming on to you instead of Sydney.”

  “That’s just it, this isn’t about sex. I don’t want to have sex with either of them. Not that I would mind it, I just…” Emma stopped talking. She was frustrating herself, and Christie wasn’t helping. “It’s been nice having someone, you know? We’ve been doing things and having our meals together.” She thought of Caroline just that morning, pleasant company regardless of being tense and quiet. They’d comment on the weather and pass the creamer back and forth.

  “Do you think Caroline is good in bed?”

  Emma couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re unbelievable.”

  “That’s not a no.”

  “I’m hanging up now,” Emma said. She hung up and shook her head as she walked back to her room. She had hoped a talk with Christie would make her feel better, but it definitely did not. Christie knew her and understood her better than anyone, and sometimes that was a disadvantage. Not even Christie could understand what Emma was going through because the situation was completely out of her norm.

  When Emma swung the door to the room open, she was greeted by a disheveled-looking Caroline, her hair mussed and her eyes barely open. Emma couldn’t stop the warm smile from spreading across her face. The funny flutter in her chest was a surprise.

  Caroline rubbed her eye, smearing eyeliner partially down her cheek. “Where did you go?”

  “Liquor store up the street. I told Cam I’d bring drinks, but there was no way I was buying them here.”

  “What time is it?”

  Emma thought Caroline’s face looked more like she didn’t know what year it was. “It’s almost six.”

  “Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”

  “Because you looked so peaceful sleeping off your buzz.”

  Caroline groaned. “I need to brush my teeth and take a shower. I still smell like chlorine and coconut.” She looked Emma up and down. “You showered already, didn’t you?” Emma nodded. “You look very nice.”

  Her hair had air dried, and she was wearing the same flowy dress from one of their first nights out. She hadn’t applied any makeup yet, and the tan lines on her shoulders were brighter than the day before. Emma touched her hair subconsciously and said, “Thank you. I just threw myself together to run to the store.”

  “Hmm.” Caroline pursed her lips. “You should stay like this,” she said, waving her hand over Emma. “I think you’re perfect for a game night.”

  “I think you should get in the shower, and I’ll order us room service.”

  “But you wanted to try the taco place,” Caroline said in a whine.

  Emma refused to fully acknowledge how cute sleepy Caroline was, and her compliments were starting to eat away at Emma’s resolve. Taking Caroline in her arms right then wouldn’t do anyone any good. “We can try them tomorrow, but I know a house salad and extra breadsticks are calling to you right now.”

  Caroline stared Emma down for a silent minute. “No.”

  “No?”

  “I want French toast. Do you think they’d make me French toast?” She pouted.

  Emma knew right then and there she’d get Caroline French toast no matter the cost. “I’m sure they will.”

  “Extra syrup and extra butter. I’m feeling indulgent.” Caroline grabbed a dress she had hanging in the closet and walked into the bathroom.

  Emma plopped herself on the foot of the bed. If this version of Caroline was actually the person who was always lurking inside, Emma wanted to do anything in her power to keep her like this. Caroline was rigid and structured, but she was protecting someone soft and innocent. Emma finally realized what was going on. She genuinely liked Caroline, and not in a platonic way. The sound of the shower jump-started her into action.

  She dialed room service and ordered the same thing for both of them. She added fresh berries and coffee to their dinner of breakfast. Emma turned on the stereo in the room and found the local classic rock station to distract her from the sound of running water coming from only a room away. She lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling fan, letting out a long breath. Now if only Emma could come up with a way to keep herself from imagining Caroline in the shower.

  * * *

  “Barry raided the rec room and grabbed a bunch of board games,” Cam said as she poured herself a cup of white wine. She handed the corkscrew to Chanel. “We even have Pictionary.”

  “I love Pictionary,” Justin said.

  Emma handed out plastic cups to everyone and set the stack on the coffee table at the center of Barry and Cameron’s suite. The living room area was bigger than Emma and Caroline’s, but their sliding doors were open to the same spectacular beach view. Their couch accommodated four people, and the four chairs from the room allowed everyone a comfortable seat option. Emma sat with Caroline, Justin, and Chanel on the couch. She had her arm around the back behind Caroline.

  Caroline declined a drink and opted for a water instead. “I haven’t played Pictionary a lot, but I was terrible every time I tried. No one can ever guess my pictures.”

  “Not even Emma?” Will asked with a wry smile.

  “We’ve never played together.” Emma popped the top off a longneck beer and took a drink. “Yet.”

  “We’re not playing Pictionary,” Sydney said
. She sat across from Emma and kept her eyes on her as she spoke. “We’re a group of adults on vacation in a beautiful location with no kids or responsibilities. I say we loosen up and get wild.”

  Emma did not like the sound of that.

  Chanel looked interested. “What exactly are you proposing?”

  “Fuck, Marry, Kill.”

  Emma felt Caroline shift uncomfortably next to her. “I did see Monopoly over there. Who doesn’t love a good game of Monopoly?” Emma’s suggestion fell on deaf ears.

  “Who doesn’t know how to play?” Sydney looked around the room. “We list three people, and you say who you’d fuck, who you’d marry, and who you’d kill.”

  “I don’t like the kill option,” Cam said. “I’m okay with the fucking and marrying, though.” She reached across the small table and touched her cup to Sydney’s.

  Barry raised his hand. “Fuck, Marry, Send Off to the Peace Corps.”

  Emma raised her beer. “Happy medium.”

  “Okay. We’ll start easy with celebrities, and considering we have a same sex couple here, I think we should all have mixed options,” Sydney said. She winked at Emma. “Guys, you’re going to have to step out of your comfort zones.”

  “Oh, this is going to be fun,” Chanel sat back with a satisfied smile.

  Emma looked at Caroline, wanting nothing more than for her to look back. She needed to know she was okay. She squeezed Caroline’s shoulder. Caroline flashed her a quick smile and placed her hand on Emma’s knee. Emma stared at her hand briefly before turning her attention back to the game.

  Sydney clapped. “Hilary Duff, Harry Styles, and Taylor Swift.”

  Justin held up a finger. “I only know who Taylor Swift is, and I’d definitely fuck her.”

  Chanel elbowed him. “Don’t be so crude about it.”

  “But it’s the name of the game,” he argued.

  Chanel shot him a side-eye and grabbed her phone to pull up pictures of the other two options. “I’d fuck Harry, marry Taylor, and send Hilary off with the Peace Corps. Buh-bye,” Chanel said with a dramatic wave. A round of agreement traveled around the room.

  “Nope,” Caroline said. “If I’m being swayed by a man, it wouldn’t be Harry Styles. He can join the Peace Corps.”

  “What about the other two?” Emma asked eagerly. Caroline seemed so much looser that evening.

  “I agree with marrying Taylor, so I guess I’m fucking Hilary.”

  Emma swallowed hard at the mere mention of Caroline fucking someone. The coarse language set her insides on fire.

  “I want to go next,” Cam said. “Mark Wahlberg, Jimmy Fallon, and Beyoncé.”

  “I think every guy in this room would agree to marry Beyoncé.” Justin waited as Will and Barry agreed. “Fuck Mark and ship Jimmy off?” Again, they all agreed.

  “Men,” Chanel said with a roll of her eyes.

  “I’d definitely fuck Beyoncé,” Sydney said a little too loudly. “Marry Mark and ship Jimmy with the Peace Corps.”

  “I think I’d marry Jimmy,” Emma said thoughtfully. “There’s something to be said for a good sense of humor. Fuck Beyoncé and ship Mark.”

  Caroline laughed beside her. “They are all brutal. Except Mark Wahlberg. I’d fuck him if I had to.”

  Emma turned to Caroline, eyes wide with curiosity. “That’s the guy you could be swayed by?”

  “My options were not great.”

  “But Beyoncé,” Emma said, as if it weren’t clear before.

  Caroline just shrugged.

  “You are a very interesting woman.” Emma held Caroline’s gaze for as long as she could without blinking. When Caroline looked away, Emma took a long pull from her beer.

  “Speaking of interesting, let’s spice this up. Two celebrities, and one real life person we all know. Extra points if it’s someone in this room.” Sydney wiggled her eyebrows.

  “We’re working with points?” Justin asked as he poured his second Jack and Coke.

  Emma jumped in this time. “Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, and Maria, our group leader.” Everyone in the room busted out into loud laughter. “I think Maria would fit right in with the Peace Corps, actually.”

  Caroline was breathless with laughter. “Yes, Maria would be sent off, as sweet as she is. Marry Blake and fuck Ryan. He’s attractive and funny, but I couldn’t spend my life with him.”

  “Yet another man who would sway you,” Emma said. “I’m learning so much about you.”

  “And just think about everything you don’t know yet,” Caroline said. She took a long, slow sip of her water before breaking away to laugh.

  Emma couldn’t tell if the flirtatious energy between them was real or for show. The sound of the group arguing over whether Ryan or Blake would be better in bed drowned it out. Emma examined the curve of Caroline’s throat as she threw her head back in laughter, dropping to the notch of Caroline’s collarbone and then to the swell of her—

  “Emma?” Cameron called her name.

  Emma turned her head so quickly her neck cramped. She winced and said, “Yeah?”

  “The Rock, Sharon Stone, or Will?”

  “Well, the Rock would tear me apart and Sharon Stone isn’t really my type.”

  “And my Will?” Sydney said with her hand on her husband’s thigh.

  “Isn’t my type either, but I bet he’d do great in the Peace Corps. Sorry, Will.” Emma shot him an apologetic look.

  Sydney wasn’t having Emma’s playfulness. “Let’s throw you into the mix, then. Halle Berry, Brad Pitt, and Emma.”

  Caroline tightened her grip on Emma’s knee.

  “Is it weird if I answer this one quickly?” Barry said. At no one’s protest, he continued. “I’d marry Halle, gladly fuck Brad Pitt, and I’d ship off Emma because I don’t think I’m her type either. Am I right?”

  Emma nodded and shot him a finger gun.

  “I’d marry Brad Pitt, which has been my plan since my twenties,” Cameron said, and she slapped Barry’s knee. “I’d ship off Halle and probably fuck Emma. Because I know you and you’re sweet. I’d be much more comfortable with you than if I were with a strange, famous woman.”

  “Fair enough.” Emma raised her bottle to Cameron.

  “I’d fuck Emma, too,” Sydney’s voice carried heavily through the room. Everyone turned to look at her except Emma.

  Emma kept her eyes on Caroline. The fears she couldn’t express to Christie were arising before her eyes. If Caroline was unaffected, Emma would be offended. If Caroline was upset, Emma could have a mess on her hands.

  “But what about Brad and Halle?” Chanel tried to break the tension.

  “Ship them both off for all I care.”

  Emma could feel Sydney’s eyes on her. She had to stop this. “They are a little overrated.”

  “I agree with Sydney,” Caroline said. “Who cares about the other two when I have Emma?”

  Emma turned her head slowly to look at Sydney and then back to Caroline. What’s happening?

  “I can’t choose between fucking and marrying Emma, either,” Caroline said. “Thankfully, I don’t have to.”

  Emma’s stomach sank as a throb came to life between her legs. Even if Caroline didn’t mean it, just hearing her say the words sparked desire within Emma. She squeezed her thighs together as discreetly as possible.

  “As a matter of fact, grab the rest of your beer. We’re going back to our room.” Caroline stood and walked to the door.

  “Thank you for the invite, Cam,” Emma said as she collected her things and followed Caroline out into the hallway.

  Caroline looked completely distraught. “I’m so sorry about that.”

  “About what?”

  “Ending the night so soon and for implying, you know…” Caroline’s cheeks turned a light pink. “I don’t really know what came over me, but I didn’t like being treated like I’m invisible.”

  Emma grabbed Caroline’s hand and stopped her from pacing. “I’m happy the night ended. I
should be thanking you, because I was very uncomfortable with what Sydney was doing. You sensed that and got me out of there.” Emma started to lead them back toward the elevators. “And I’m pretty sure they think we’re having sex anyway.”

  Caroline laughed and visibly relaxed. “I don’t like Sydney.”

  “Yeah, I’m not much of a fan, either. I don’t mind overt advances, but I’m here with my girlfriend, and that’s disrespectful.”

  Caroline smiled softly and whispered, “It wouldn’t be very professional of you to give in, either.”

  “No, it wouldn’t.” Emma looked at their joined hands and felt a pleasant flutter in her chest. “You did surprise me with that sharp tongue, though.”

  “I always have a hundred thoughts running through my mind, some nice and others not so nice, but I really have to be pushed to say them. Otherwise, I keep quiet and out of the way.”

  “I hope I get to hear some more of those thoughts while we’re together.”

  Caroline studied Emma before turning to the open elevator.

  Emma watched her get on the elevator and followed a second later. As she stared at their reflection in the shiny metal door, she decided to accept her feelings for Caroline. Emma also decided to spend the rest of their time together figuring out if Caroline felt something, too.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Caroline was going to miss the beaches of Miami. Sure, New Jersey had its fair share of beaches, but none of them could compare to the soft white sands she was walking on now. The turquoise sea wrapping around her ankles was pretty nice, too. She watched Emma off in the distance, staring at the phone in her hand. She looked like she was talking, probably making a video for her many online followers.

  Caroline had barely thought of the outside world since getting into the swing of things at the resort. But what was really waiting for her? A friend or two she barely spoke to and a family who’d probably guilt her for going away for so many days? She had already ignored numerous messages from her mother and one long voice mail from her dad that day alone. If Emma was curious why Caroline rarely had her phone on her, she’d definitely be honest with her answer.