by Fran Louise
He returned it. “Too rough?”
Just the mere mention of it heightened the sensations I was already feeling. The idea of him throwing me across the back of the sofa and thrusting into me, taking me without a care ... I felt my breasts tighten, aching. It was too easy to imagine because it had been real on so many occasions before; the muscles between my legs responded by clenching in an acute spasm.
“Oh, God...” His head dipped, falling to my shoulder. “I felt that.”
I moved against him, closing my eyes to fully experience the sensation of his arousal pulsing against me. My whole body leapt to life again. I leaned down, catching his mouth with mine and threading my fingers through his thick hair. Further down my hands explored, across his wide, corded shoulders and back, pressing against the tight muscles. I slid my hands around his waist and pulled impatiently at the hem of his t-shirt. Yanking it up, I luxuriated in the ease with which my fingers where able to explore his bare torso. The fabric glided easily up his sides.
“Lift your arms,” I ordered in a hoarse voice. Thrilled when he did what he was told, I eased the warm fabric over his head with a dark smile. Static charged between us. His upper body was naked and I let myself just drink in the sight of him as he lowered his arms. My fingers traced down the flat surfaces, fascinated by the mixture of smooth and rough, the hair tickling against my palms. I stroked his arms, his chest, and then further down to where an arrow of hair led beneath the waistband of his jeans. I met his gaze, wetting my now dry lips with my tongue and splaying my fingers. They inadvertently grazed the tip of his erection.
The guttural curse emanated from him again and his body doubled as if in pain. “Are you trying to make me come before we even get to the sex?” Only a dark smile betrayed his pleasure. He lifted me off him and came to his feet quickly.
I felt my hair sliding out of the bun finally and pulled the clip out. As my hair settled, I took in the sight of his erection pressed impatiently against his jeans, tantalizingly close to my face. My eyes were wide with anticipation as I looked up to catch his gaze. He looked so hungry, so utterly intent on having me, that the breath just evaporated from my lungs.
“Let’s go upstairs,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I need a bed for this.”
I didn’t care how I looked, how this looked. I wanted him with an intensity that I just couldn’t hide. The raw honesty of it seared me like molten iron branding my soul. I took his hand and let him guide me to my feet. He had to hold my arms behind my back to stop me from reaching for him again.
“Just wait another thirty seconds,” he said. He still sounded raw with need. One hand released me so that he could trail a thumb against my swollen lips. His eyes were pure jet black. “Let me get you naked on that bed and then you can do whatever the hell you want to me.”
Longing pooled in me again. I wondered if I could even walk. I let him lead the way, suddenly unsure of where we were going. We made it up to the first floor. I felt his eyes on every sway of my hips on the way up. Before we could even reach one of the rooms, he was on me again. It was as though his control snapped. He pressed me against the wall. His body crushed me, his hips grating against my lower body. Then, just as suddenly, he broke away, a look of something close to anguish in his expression.
“The baby...”
I was still trying to work out where I was. Blinking at him in the near darkness, I clasped my hand across my stomach. “It’s okay. I’m okay-”
“I keep forgetting-”
“Nathan,” I said, breathless, “I’ll let you know if anything hurts me.”
“No.” He stepped back. “We shouldn’t do this,” he said. “This can’t be good-”
I grabbed at his arms to prevent him from stepping back any further. Absolute determination gripped me. I felt as though I could have lifted a car if it had been required, anything to stop him from moving away. “Nathan, it’s fine. Honestly, it’s fine. I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t-”
“But are you sure?” he said firmly. “Did you speak to the doctor about this?”
“Nathan.” My tone was reassuring. I clasped his hand and guided him towards the second set of stairs. Suddenly I remembered that I had no idea where I was going. “Where’s your bedroom?”
He laughed. “It’s on the second floor.”
Still he refused to be moved. I yanked at his arm as though it were a lever. Coming to a standstill, I glared at him with an inverted frown. “Are you going to make me beg?”
“Would you?” he asked.
I shook my head, in desperation more than disagreement. That was a question I didn’t want to ponder. “Just – don’t test me,” I said. I turned to platitudes. “It’s only one more floor. We can talk about this there-”
He moved forward only fractionally. His hand stroked my hair back, grazing my cheek and then holding my head in place. When his lips touched mine gently, I felt the tight coil inside of me relax somewhat. “You think we can go upstairs to my bedroom and have a rational discussion?” he asked, his voice toying with my frustration.
I swayed towards him. My hands glided around the bare skin at his waist. This felt so, so good. It would be … well, torture to stop now. I needed this. I needed him inside of me, possessing me.
“You don’t really want to have a discussion at all, do you?” he said finally, though he was still smiling.
I kissed him, lingering, and my hands smoothed down the back of his jeans possessively. I tried to communicate everything I was feeling with my eyes. “No.”
His voice was a rasp. “I think I’m too turned on not to do this.”
A spark of celebratory relief lit in me. “Then show me where your room is,” I said, my voice a whisper.
He kissed me again, moving us blindly towards the stairs. Somehow we made it up another floor, through a doorway, and then I felt my legs jutting against a hard object.
The bed. I glanced around, picking up shapes and textures here and there in the fading light of dusk. All I was really interested in was the bed, and I turned, bending over in front of him to stroke the cool, cotton covers in delight. It was massive, and empty, and undisturbed, and we had all night. My mind quivered in anticipation of the pleasure I was about to experience. Guaranteed pleasure, because for all our issues, Nathan had never let me down on that score.
I felt him holding my hips from behind, pressing into me. “You’re really not playing fair now,” he said.
I turned my head to the side and eased into the position. It was exciting to make out his pained expression in the shadows. His face was all hard planes, arcs and glimmer. His chest looked like it was made of bronze. I closed my eyes for a moment and let my head drop. He was so hard. I could feel he was fully aroused. My body was moistening in response, desperate to welcome him inside of me. I inhaled a deep, relaxed breath as his hands made a slow journey from my hips, circling my waist and then further up. He caught the zip at the back of my dress and eased it down.
I straightened. The dress slid from my shoulders and fell in a heap at my feet. Underneath I was wearing a plain black silk bra and panties. Nathan looked down at my body. His expression was hard, predatory now. The light-heartedness had passed, engulfed in the fiery desire in his eyes. His hands smoothed down my arms, agitating the nerve-endings with each centimeter of progress. He stopped at my waist and idled there for a moment. I felt his hand move across my swollen stomach.
I was attacked by an unfamiliar rash of self-consciousness, something I never usually felt with him. “It’s not very sexy, is it?” I said.
“It’s...” His voice trailed off. He met my gaze. “I don’t know what it is,” he said. “It’s amazing. Beautiful.”
I looked down. My hand was hesitant as it covered his. Then his fingers were under my chin and he was angling my face towards him. He kissed me again. His lips were so gentle I barely felt them at first. I was aware of a heavenly brush of skin against skin, and then a very slight, drawing pressure. Had there even been one iot
a of doubt or hesitation in me, it was melted away under this hypnotic seduction. I had to clasp his arms just to stay upright. My head spun and I felt myself being pulled down into a level of sensation, of emotion, that I’d never experienced before. It was like a limitless well of ... love. I felt like I was literally floating in it. I was sure that if I opened my eyes I would see myself suspended, meters from the floor, weightless.
Nathan chose that moment to lift me. He pushed his knees under me, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist once they were off the floor. I felt him kneel on the bed. Again I was aware of his pressing arousal, this time through the sheer fabric of my panties. My answering arousal kicked up a notch. I groaned against his mouth and pressed myself into him. Then I felt the bed against my back.
The sheets were cool and soft. When he lifted himself above me, I moaned in complaint. Cold air filled the space between our bodies. He cast an avaricious glance down the length of my body as it writhed beneath him. Impatient now, I reached for the waistband of his jeans. I’d been waiting too long for this. I needed him naked, hard and wanting. I had to feel his control break. I wanted him inside of me before anything else could happen to stop us.
My hands brushed his erection as I slid his jeans from his hips. This time he suffered my touch without even a flinch. His focus was as rigid as his body. He pulled off the rest of his clothes and tossed them aside. Then, with exquisite care, his head lowered. He pressed light kisses, torturously slow, across my tender cleavage. I felt the brush of his hair against my jaw, tickling and scented with warm shampoo. His mouth lingered at the soft, very sensitive flesh where my breasts spilled from the strained material of my bra. I felt his hand trailing a slow path down my side, sliding up my back, and then slipping the catch. Once he felt it release, he lifted his head again. He looked devilishly pleased with himself, so much so that I couldn’t help but smile as he slid the straps off my shoulder. He was rewarded with the sight of my full, sensitive breasts appearing from under the silk.
“These are ... new,” he said.
I laughed lightly. I stroked his head, in turn fascinated by his fascination for my changing body.
He lingered for a while on my breasts as though he were enjoying a feast. I suffered under torturous nipping, sucking and teasing, until I was literally groaning. “Nathan...” I pulled his head up and held his face in my hands for a moment. “I need you inside me,” I said. I let go of him to start easing my panties off, but his hand snaked out and stopped them.
“No... no, you don’t.”
I wanted to groan aloud. “I can’t wait any longer,” I said. I arched my back, pressing myself against his erection. “Don’t tell me you’re not ready-”
“There are a million little things I’ve been imagining doing to you for the last few months, Chloe, ever since you laid down the no-sex rule.” His smile was malicious. “You brought this on yourself.”
I was shocked for a moment, but the arousal was quickly overriding everything else I was capable of, including reasoning.
“This isn’t the last time we’re going to have sex tonight,” he said, his voice low with promise. He eased his body down mine, holding himself with strong arms at either side of me. Kneeling, he reached for my panties. “But I still want to enjoy it like it might be.”
He was going to drag this out, I realized, half-excited and half-impatient. I watched carefully as he lifted my leg and passed it in front of him so that he could slide my panties off the rest of the way. I felt a rush of cold air against the moisture between my legs. My sex quivered in anticipation, his erection just a breath away from me. I couldn’t stop myself from angling towards him suggestively.
“Not yet.” His eyes were dark on me as he moved from the bed.
He knelt on the floor and pulled my legs towards him. I closed my eyes and leaned back. I knew what was coming. My whole body tensed in anticipation. The first sensation was his breath against the folds of my sex. Then a gentle stroke from his sure fingers. He opened me to him, and I felt the first touch of his mouth. After that, I was lost. My head angled back, I gripped the cotton covers between my hands as I felt the first wave of intense arousal pick me up and carry me away. I lifted my legs instinctively, anchoring myself to the bed. His mouth was hot against me. Each suck and each thrust of his tongue stoked the fire. I felt myself being lifted higher and higher, further away from reality, upwards and upwards until I was spiraling and out of control.
Almost, but not completely. Not yet. And then it stopped.
I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. My body thrummed with arousal. Glancing down, I saw Nathan standing at the foot of the bed. Totally naked and aroused, he was watching me with intense scrutiny. He touched his erection, stroking himself very slowly, his eyes running down the length of my body. When his gaze settled between my legs, I knew the moment had finally come. My legs widened instinctively.
He climbed on to the bed. Still stroking himself, he kept a careful watch on my reaction as he leaned down, ready to enter me. His free hand slid under my bottom and he lifted me as though I were made of nothing. I could scarcely breathe; when I did, small panting sounds emanated from my throat. I felt his hand between my legs. Then the unmistakable thrust of his penis against my folds. I was so wet that he slid inside easily at first. I watched his expression. His control collapsed for a moment, halfway inside of me. I was tighter here and my muscles clenched around him in response to the arousal I could see reflected on his face.
I widened my legs further and relaxed my muscles. With one hard thrust, he was fully inside of me. I felt a stab of arousal so intense I thought I might be having an orgasm. My body buckled and he stilled; I held on to him until I felt the sensation slide into a more bearable thrum in the background of my consciousness. Then he was moving, slowly at first, easing in and out as though he were reveling in every inch of me. I gasped, unable to contain the building pressure gathering at the junction between my legs. It felt so right to have him inside of me, filling my like this. I didn’t want it to end.
I drew him in further, dragging myself against him, urging him on until he was thrusting faster and faster. And then I wasn’t really aware of either of us anymore, just the sensations in my body. He felt solid and hot and heavy, inside of me, on top of me. We were travelling on the same wave of desire, heading for the same goal. I felt him tense just before he reached it. My body reacted in kind: my muscles clenched and then a shaft of sensation pinioned my entire body like a lightning bolt. He moved only once, heaving against me and then breaking against the shore of my orgasm with his own shuddering release.
I woke the next morning feeling stiff. I lay still for a moment, adjusting to wakefulness. Sunlight streamed in through bare windows. I heard the distant thrum of traffic, and other sounds of the city; snippets of voices, joggers’ feet pounding on asphalt and, in the distance, a lone bird. Everything was muted, but it was so quiet in the room that I could make out each individual audible detail. I shifted and then winced. My cheeks flushed as I recalled the lengthy and intense lovemaking I’d shared with Nathan the night before. My body was still throbbing from it.
My hand passed across my swollen belly. My heart rate eased somewhat when I felt nothing untoward, though what I’d expected to find, I wasn’t sure. A second pregnancy? I could be forgiven, I decided, for wondering if that had been a motive last night. Nathan hadn’t been able to rest. I’d often heard the term ‘insatiable’ used to describe keen sexual desire, but last night I’d truly understood it for the first time. He’d been like a starving man granted a last meal. I’d hungered for him in the same way. I experienced mental flashes of his raw determination to thrust into me again and again. I recalled the heat, and the scent of him, the burning compulsion to draw him in. The sheer obliviousness of it had been close to insanity.
Had we both sensed that this was perhaps some kind of closure on our relationship finally?
I felt a pain in my chest and discarded the thought the way one mi
ght drop a burning coal. I’d think about that tomorrow. Or next week. We hadn’t been getting on recently, and there seemed no way to continue with the relationship as it had been, but it seemed morbid to focus on that when everything felt so right this morning. I was still warm from the embers of a night of deep intimacy; I wanted to revel in it a little longer.
I moved my head, finally. He was still asleep. My chest contracted on seeing him there. He was facing away from me, his body in a semi-fetal position. The covers were low on his hips, and I was afforded a long, sensuous view of his lean upper body. Tattoos, some as dark as his hair and others faded with age, decorated the taut flesh. Even in repose his muscles seemed poised and ready for action. I turned on my side and ran a light touch from his shoulder and down his side. I rested my hand against his hip. He felt solid and warm against me, like an anchor.
He stirred but didn’t seem to wake. My mind drifting, I continued my forage, moving the covers back to expose his buttocks. They were perfect; I trailed a finger across them in appreciation. Lazy humor stabbed my cheeks and forced a smile from me as he stirred again, this time uttering a low, definitely irritated moan. So, suddenly he didn’t want me touching him – was that it? The notion only emboldened me further. I inched closer to him until my body slid against his back like silk draping across a hard, immovable object.
He exhaled. I could hear his breathing become more irregular; he was waking up. I felt a quickening in my lungs. Like this – while Nathan was sleepy and pliant and suggestible – I was in control, but I knew that was an illusion. Awake, he was stiff and hard and retractable, and probably just as hungry for me now as he had been last night. It was like awaking a beast. My heartbeat began to speed up.
Should I lie still and let him sleep, or should I continue with my exploration? My sore body was telling my one thing, but another less definable emotion was urging me on.
