Here and Now

by Wasowski, Mary

  “You make this insane choice to love someone for who they are before you can even figure out who you are yourself. Let alone what you will become as a couple. My best advice for you and Gus is this: Marriage is about choices. You have to keep choosing to fall in love with each other, even in those moments when it may not seem to be the best choice at the time when you may be struggling.”

  “Falling in love seems so complicated but wonderful all at the same time.”

  “Yes, you’re right about that but it’s also the best thing you’ll ever do. You just have to make sure the man you choose to fall in love with is worth it to you, okay?”

  “I got it mom, and I have never been happier with my choice. Gus is the one and I know he will make me happy for the rest of my life, just like daddy is for you.”

  She got up from her chair not caring at all about the spillage of water and hugged me tightly. I returned her love and closed my eyes saying a prayer for my daughter for a happy and loving marriage. She didn’t want to hear the statistics of divorce, or the ups and downs when you fight and how quickly you will resolve the issue.

  Emily is a bright and intelligent young woman. I’m confident she has made her pros and cons list with over a thousand reasons why marrying Gus is the right choice. I love her so much for her mind, spirit, and her heart which she always leads first with. My girl wants the fairytale she believed I had with Lawson.

  We have had our share of troubles over the years and this year was probably our greatest test, but we made it to the other side and are stronger for it. Lawson Douglas still remains my choice. I choose to fall in love with him daily but not with the same promises I made when we were younger. No, they were all wonderful back then but we’re older now, more experienced and growing and moving forward in a new direction.

  At this point in our lives, we don’t have to compartmentalize our hopes and dreams and make them look great on paper. We’ve done that and have this twenty-five year plus relationship to show for it. The next chapter in our story is to simply choose us. To make every single day count loving one another and grabbing a backpack, a map, and see where life takes us. This is what I want with Lawson. I just want to leap really high with my hand in his and see where life takes us next.

  A few hours later I wasn’t traveling the world, but I was nestled close to his chest as he held me in his arms. “Hey baby, I missed you today. How was spa day with our daughter?” he asked as he continued to kiss me.

  “It was wonderful. We had a long talk and cleared the air about a lot of unfinished conversations.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yes, it’s perfect. Emily is so in love with Gus and is bursting at the seams to marry him. She’s so happy, Lawson. I want that for us.”

  “You don’t have to want. We have it, baby. We’ve always had it. Don’t ever forget. Not ever.”

  “Always,” I whispered, and my husband held me for the rest of the night in his arms. Perfect.

  PAST…

  Lawson

  “I love this bed. I love this belly. I love my wife and I can’t wait to meet our baby,” I whispered to Renee, as I rubbed small circles on her growing stomach.

  “Do you regret not finding out the sex of our baby?”

  “Not a chance because when we found out with Rogan, I know I was over the top crazy getting everything ready for his arrival that I think I missed a few things along the way.”

  “Such as?”

  “I guess what I mean is the anticipation of his pending birth. Once we knew he was a boy, all I wanted was to decorate the nursery in baseball gear and buy out the toy store.”

  “You were there for me always, sometimes too much. Do you remember the day I kicked you out and I made you call a friend and do something fun?”

  “Yeah, I remember. I ended up calling my father which was a big mistake because he had a list a mile long and I did repair work in the hot sun all day out in his barn. Yeah babe, thanks for that.”

  “Okay, I’ll admit it wasn’t my best idea but you made your father happy and your mom ended up coming over here to our house and brought over all your baby clothes for me to go through. It was the best day of my pregnancy. We cooked and we sure did laugh a lot. Your mom is so cool.”

  “That she is and can’t wait to meet this one. I say it’s a girl.”

  “How are you so sure?”

  “Because I know women, and I know without a doubt that this baby is a girl. And I already know what I want to call her.”

  “You do? Oh, wise one, enlighten me.”

  “Emily.”

  “After your grandmother?”

  “Is that okay?”

  “Yeah, it’s okay. It’s wonderful. Whoa, that was a big one.”

  “Is she kicking?”

  “Yes, put your hand right here.” As instructed by Renee, I placed my hand on the bottom of her belly and just enjoyed the rapid kicks from my little soccer player. It was amazing for me to experience.

  “Hey little one, it’s your daddy. I feel I already know you, but only because I feel you kicking mom from the inside. Now she has the inside track on all of this amazement but I’m here too. We can’t wait to meet you. I love you.”

  PRESENT…

  “Dad, you up there?” I heard Rogan call for me.

  “Yeah, son, I’m here.”

  “Mom says it’s time to get ready. The photographer is going to be here in twenty minutes.”

  “Okay, I’ll be right down.”

  “Hang tight, I’m coming up,” I swear my son was like Tarzan. He made it up to the top of the tree house in thirty seconds.

  “Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve been up here and yet it still looks and feels the same as when we were kids. Em and I loved this tree house, we played up here every single day.”

  “It’s a good place and it holds many memories.”

  “What are you doing up here anyway?”

  “Just doing a little reminiscing. I can’t believe your baby sister is getting married today. Have you seen her? Is she okay?”

  “Yeah, she’s great. Mom looks amazing. I just caught her twirling around the room testing out her new shoes. She’s so excited to dance in them. Maybe just the thrill that she could after everything she’s been through.”

  “She’s a walking miracle. So, how are you? We haven’t had too much time to catch up.”

  “I’m great. Work is amazing.”

  “Yeah, how about the other part of your life. Are you at least trying to have a social life?”

  “Dad, I have it covered and the ladies are not complaining. Don’t worry so much about me, okay? I am not an obsessed workaholic. I just enjoy what I do.”

  “Okay, I’ll drop it. What do you say we get your sister married?”

  They say you have moments in life that you will never forget right down to the smallest detail of the day. I couldn’t agree more because it’s exactly how I felt while walking our daughter down the aisle that was covered in rose petals left by Gus’s niece. My girl never faltered in her step. She was ready for the next chapter she was beginning here with Gus. They remind me so much of Renee and me when we were younger and all we had were dreams.

  When I lifted her veil and righted the lace and silk material behind her head, she leaned in and kissed my cheek whispering in my ear, “I love you, dad. It was your love with mom that got me here today.” I kissed her back and placed her hand entwined with Gus’s before giving my blessing to the priest to go on.

  “You okay?” she asked as I took my seat next to Renee with her hand on my lap.

  “I’m perfect,” I replied. Who would have thought it would be Gus breaking down before Emily while reciting his vows. He was a towering foot taller than her but she beamed as she listened to him profess his love for her.

  When we heard, “you may kiss your bride” the church erupted in a thunderous applause for the happy couple. I held Renee back for a moment as our family and guests left the church.

  �
��What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “You’re so beautiful.”

  “Oh, Lawson, you don’t have to say such things.”

  “No, I do. The entire time sitting here and watching our daughter marry the man she loves just makes me love you even more. I know we are not perfect, but we come pretty close to amazing in my book. You, Renee Canton Douglas, you are my entire life and there is not a day I want to live without you right beside me. We have had a wonderful journey that has led us here to this moment and I guess my question is, are you up for more?”

  “Yes, name the adventure.”

  “How about marrying me again, right here, right now.”

  “You’re not serious? Are you? can we do that on our daughter’s wedding day?”

  “You sure can!” we both turned around to see Emily, Gus, Rogan, and my father standing at the back of the church.

  She lifted the hem of her dress and practically sprinted toward us. “Yes, let’s have a double celebration. Father Weilly is right outside.”

  Renee looked over at me and then back to Emily. “Are you sure? This is your day, your moment. Your father and I do not want to steal your thunder.”

  “Nonsense, you two will just make it more special,” Gus added.

  “Well?” I asked Renee. “What do you say? Marry me, again?”

  “Okay, I would love to marry you again, Lawson Douglas.”

  The wedding planner and her team brought the photographer back inside and instructed him to take some photos of our family before he headed out to the venue for the reception. After closing the doors, it was just us. Emily stood next to Renee, and Rogan was at my side as I married their mother again. I held her hand and brought it up to my lips to kiss. I touched her rings that had been beautifully restored and then I found my words.

  “Who knew a choice, a calendar, and a marker would have led us here to this moment. It was so simple back then. I asked a question and without hesitation, you answered and we made the one decision that would set the course for our future. It was a decision that I have never regretted and it is one that I will be thankful for all the days I have left in my life. This ring symbolizes my heart and all the promises I gave to you on that day. I told you that my heart would be your shelter and my arms holding you would be your home. I love you, Renee, and if you would be so generous to allow me one more promise, It will be to give me the chance to make you smile every single day for the rest of your life. You deserve nothing less. You are my queen and all I want to do is kiss you madly showing you how much I love you. You made my life complete simply by trusting me to keep my promise. The only regret I have is that I made you doubt for the smallest measure of time before I came to my senses and returned to that man I was when I asked you the first time. Let today be the beginning of the next chapter in our story. Write it with me and let’s see where the next page will lead us to.”

  I leaned in close to Renee and wiped away her tears. “I love you.” She closed her eyes and exhaled a deep breath before beginning.

  “You are a pretty tough act to follow but I will certainly try to convey what my heart has known since I was sixteen years old. I don’t believe that there is one person on this earth that can truly define the word ‘love’ until you live it, feel it, and lose yourself to the power of it. As I stand here with you today, all I can remember is a quote by the great F. Scott Fitzgerald.” She placed a kiss on my wedding band and said, “I love you, and that’s the beginning and the end of everything.”

  PRESENT…

  Renee

  “It’s just that simple. I love you, and that’s the beginning and the end of everything. You will forever be my everything, Lawson Douglas. Now, if you would be so kind to fulfill one of your promises now and kiss me madly, we can celebrate our beautiful daughter’s marriage to Gus, and what comes next for us.”

  With applause all around, Lawson stepped closer and took my face in his hands kissing me in the only way he knew how. It was a kiss I would feel for days and Lawson wouldn’t have it any other way. He quietly whispered in my ear how much he loves me and can’t wait to celebrate our ‘reunion’ of getting married. I giggled because as if a renewing of vows would stop him from consummating our marriage then and now.

  After we took the thousand obligatory wedding photos for Emily and Gus, and a few of our own, we kicked our shoes off and partied into the night. Emily had changed from her formal wedding gown to a more down to earth party dress that she could easily move in. This was her moment to shine and I wanted her not to miss a minute of it.

  The tear-jerker moment of the evening was when she danced with her father. She was always a daddy’s girl and now has grown into this amazing woman who’s now married. Her grandfather Roman had stepped up once her dance with Lawson was over. He twirled her around with ease and never stopped smiling. I wish Becca had lived to be here with us but we know she’s watching from heaven and sending her love to all of us.

  “Are you ready to get out of here?” asked Lawson coming up from behind me as I stared happily out to the dance floor.

  “Yes, lead the way, my love.” We said our goodbyes and wished Emily and Gus a fabulous honeymoon. They would be leaving in about four hours on a private jet to Belize, where they would spend a few days before moving on to Europe where they will travel to a number of cities before returning home. Not too many couples take a month for their honeymoon, but we insisted they do since they waited patiently for me to recover, and once Emily returns, I would be officially on my own break from the practice. I can’t wait.

  PRESENT…

  Lawson

  Okay, so hijacking our daughter’s wedding wasn’t on the schedule but I’m known for my over-the-top romantic gestures and renewing our vows here today may have been my very best. The look on Renee’s face was priceless. The minute I asked her, you knew she wanted to just say yes but was cautious because it was Emily’s day.

  We have an amazing daughter who would do anything for us and her selfless act today was just one testament to many of how much she loves us. I took one more dance with my beautiful bride before leaving the wedding venue to have a private celebration of our own. This wasn’t planned so I had to quickly improvise for a special night with Renee.

  Our penthouse apartment was just as luxurious as a five-star hotel but for my night with Renee, I would need all the amenities a hotel could offer and on short notice. I phoned the manager I knew personally at the Ritz-Carlton. I had known Deacon for a number of years and considered him a good friend too. I bypassed the hotel and called his private line. He answered on the second ring.

  “A little late for a social call, don’t you think?” he said, as I heard ice clink in a glass. No doubt I was interrupting his night.

  “Hello to you too, Deacon, and what makes you think this is a social call? I can do those during the day, tonight this all about business.”

  “I’m intrigued, tell me more.”

  “I need your best with the works. Candles, strawberries, champagne, and the couple’s spa basket to be ready in thirty minutes.”

  “And? If I deliver which you know I can, what will I get in return?”

  “Deacon,” I said curtly. “I just renewed my vows with Renee, and my honeymoon re-do night has to be perfect. Yes or no?”

  “Yes, a thousand times yes. You know I love Renee more than your ugly mug. I’ll have it ready in twenty.”

  “Thanks, man, I owe you one.”

  “Your Aspen house for Thanksgiving.”

  “Done.”

  “Wow, that was easy.”

  “No, it was necessary, and you’ve come through for me on a lot of occasions. I’ll throw in hired help for you too. Gotta go, my woman is waiting.”

  “Have fun and congratulations.”

  I practically sprinted back to Renee and the moment I saw her, I lifted her in my arms and kissed her until I was out of breath. “Lawson, you’re practically vibrating with energy. What are you up to?”

  “You know b
etter not to question the master of surprises. Now, I trust you said your goodbyes?”

  “I have. I was just waiting for you.”

  “Perfect. I hope you’re ready to be amazed.”

  “As long as it ends up with me under you, I’m good.”

  “Atta girl.” I kissed her and then led her to our waiting car.

  “Wow, this is gorgeous. How did you manage this?” she asked in complete wonderment.

  “Do you doubt my mad skills?”

  “Not in a million years but this is just amazing. You are the most thoughtful man on the planet. You never cease to surprise me, Lawson.”

  “No, you’re the one that keeps surprising me. When I asked you to marry me all those years ago, you just accepted with complete trust never knowing what would come next.”

  “Now who’s the one doubting. Lawson, your one promise was all I needed to believe in and I have never regretted a single second. So, if we are done with the talking part of this magical evening you have arranged for us, how about you take off your clothes and mine too and make love to me.”

  She just took my breath away standing there looking as gorgeous and carefree as the last time we were like this. It’s pure magic knowing the love that began this incredible life we have shared is strong as ever and I am just the lucky bastard that gets to be with this beautiful woman here in my arms. I didn’t pause for one moment and turned her around to undress her. She shivered under my touch as my fingers grazed the top of her back to begin slowly unzipping her dress making it fall to the floor in a pile of fabric.