Here's Looking For You, Grim (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 3)

by Robert P. Wills

  The soldier didn’t move from his slouch. “Why?” He asked without even looking at the Gargoyle.

  With speed belying his bulk, Pollux crowed the soldier, “ ‘Cause if I used yer guts, there might not be enough to go around.” He narrowed his eyes as he put his face right up to the soldier, “So go get me some rope,” he snarled. “Thick rope.”

  The soldier gulped. “How thick?”

  He looked away noncommittally. “Oh, I don’t know. Enough to hold a Golem in place.”

  The soldier rushed to his feet “Yes, sir.” Involuntarily, he saluted as he moved off in search of some very thick rope.

  Pollux turned back to his brother, “Go tell the others we’re leavin’ and tell ‘em to pair up with a Golem that can be talked into going.” Pollux looked up at the Sergeant at Arms; he was lounging on the wall. “An’ keep it quiet like.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “I don’ think these folk are particularly interested in joinin’ in the battle.”

  “What?”

  “They’re going to sit this one out.”

  “Well, it’s horses for courses, I suppose.”

  “ ‘Xactly. So get everyone paired up with a Golem ‘cause we’re goin’ to make a break for it with them.”

  Castor winked at his brother. “Leave it to me.”

  Pollux turned back to Gus, “Hey Gus, how do you feel about a ride?”

  Gus frowned. “Got t’carry ya?” He shrugged as he tried to guess the gargoyle’s weight. “Suppose I could.”

  Pollux chuckled, “No Gus; I’m going to carry you. We’re goin’ to go to the invadin’ Halflings and give them a sound thrashing.”

  “Whut?”

  Pollux shook his massive head, “You know the Halflings are invading, right?

  Gus nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Well, we Gargoyles’re supposed to go fight them

  “Yeah.”

  “An’ we’re want to take you Golems with us to join in the fight.”

  The Golem’s brow furrowed as it thought- it was an uphill battle because it literally had rocks for brains. And some moss for padding. Finally, the Golem seemed to understand. “I git to knock sum heads clean off?” Gus stood slowly, using a huge red oak club to help itself up. The club had been carved from the center of a massive oak tree, and then highly polished. There were several dents and gouges in it from years of heavy-handed use. Thick, black leather straps were interlaced down the handle to provide grip when dealing crushing blows. The straps were tied in a loop at the bottom that Gus had his wrist through. The eight inch spike stuck through the fattest end of the club seemed like overkill. “Yeah?”It said it reached his full seven feet of height. It hefted the four foot club onto its shoulder effortlessly.

  “Oh, yeah,” agreed Pollux.

  The Golem smiled a broad grin. He seemed to have dominoes for teeth. Apparently his creator had a sense of humor; the double-twelve was front and center.

  The Human approached Pollux warily. He had a dozen feet of inch-thick rope hung on his shoulder, another dozen or so trailed behind him. He slouched to one side as he walked. “This is the thickest we’ve got.” He held up one end of the rope. “It’s pretty new so it’s nice and strong.”

  Pollux leaned in and looked at the rope. “That’s perfect. Now tie some of it around my neck and cut off the rest. Then do the same to the others.”

  The soldier saluted again and proceeded to play out several feet of the rope. Pollux leaned his head in as the soldier looped it around the stone neck. He cut the remaining rope away and skillfully tied a water knot in it. “How’s that?”

  Pollux nodded, “That’s a nice knot. Now do the others.” He narrowed his eyes at the soldier to make sure the order would be carried out “And be quick about it.”

  True to the command, the soldier moved from Gargoyle to Gargoyle, tying a length of rope around each neck. Within minutes, the work was done. The soldier turned and looked expectedly at Pollux from across the courtyard. Pollux jabbed a thumb to his original location to show his work was done. The soldier saluted and returned (gladly) to his loafing.

  Pollux casually looked around the keep. Soldiers were lying about here and there; no one seemed to have taken more than marginal interest in the rope-tying antics of the soldier. He made eye contact with the Gargoyles one at a time. Each nodded in response. Pollux was glad to see there was a Gollum standing by each one. “Ready, Gus?”

  “Yeah.”

  Pollux nodded as he crouched down so the Golem could climb onto his back. Tossing his leg over Pollux’s back, Gus swung into place. The Golem grabbed hold of the trailing end of a thick rope that had been tied around Pollux’s neck and raised the club over his head. With a quick flip of his wrist, the rope twisted twice around it, securing him to his mount. He let out a snarl. “Clean off” he said.

  Several soldiers turned to look at the unusual site; none had ever considered asking a Gargoyle to carry a Mark III Golem. They had heard of Mark IV Golems that were used as mounted troops, but word was that they rode Wooly Buffalo- although none had never actually seen one do it. “Hey, you!” The Sergeant at Arms called down at the Golem, “Get off that Gargoyle! Most irregular, that.”

  “Nuts.” Dejected, Gus began to swing his leg off.

  “Stay put, Gus. We’re going for a ride.” Pollux cantered towards the gate, “Follow me!” He called as he broke into a gallop. Gus let go of his club, letting it clatter against Pollux’s side as he frantically used both hands to hold onto the rope. Being a Mark III Gollum, this was something completely unfamiliar to him. Excitingly unfamiliar.

  Pollux heard a commotion within the keep as he cleared the gate. No soldiers had been close enough to the portcullis to keep them from running off. He hazarded a look back and was rewarded to see several Gargoyles also bounding out. After a few moments, Pollux slowed to a trot, then stopped. He turned as his comrades approached him.

  “What in the lands are we doing Pollux?” Asked Hefty- a large bearish looking Gargoyle. “They sure weren’t too happy with us stealing their Golems you know.”

  Pollux smiled, “We’ll bring ‘em back. As soon as the battle’s over.”

  “You were in on this, Castor?” Asked another Gargoyle - a stocky, wingless dragon. What it lacked in wings, it more than made up for with long talons and a spiked tail.

  “Seems this battle gots my name written on it, Rueben.” Castor shrugged. “It’d be impolite not t’show up.”

  The Gargoyles turned as a bugle was blown angrily inside Prost Garrison. “That’s not a happy sound.”

  “They’ve two choices, really,” began Pollux. “Stay put and wait for their Golems to be brought back or follow us to the battle.” He looked at the keep. “I think they’re hopin’ we come back, ‘cause I sure don’t see anyone comin’ out for us.”

  “I think Golem thievery is a hanging offence,” offered another dragon-looking Gargoyle. This one was sleek with a long, slender tail and wings.

  “Be serious, Nancy. It’d take all of them just to get you off the ground.” Castor (as well as several others) chuckled.

  Nancy’s eyes widened- then narrowed. “Did you just call me heavy?” She unfurled her wings. Although they too were made of stone, they stretched out twenty feet each. The two-fingered claws at the leading ends opened and closed menacingly.

  “No ma’am, I did not.”

  Unconvinced, Nancy eyed Castor. “I say we get going.” Another bugle sounded inside the keep. “If nothing else, to get away from the racket.”

  The Golem on her back nodded. “Head bashin’,” he suggested.

  “Clean off,” offered Gus.

  “I’m with them,” said Cerise- another stocky looking dragon. “Some good old fashioned Halfling bashing.” She stood on her hind legs making the Golem on her back lean forward and wrap its arms around her neck. “That’ll get the old blood flowing.” She paused and smiled, “Figuratively, that is.”

  Reuben nodded back at her, “
That’s my gal.” He looked at Pollux, “This is your show. Where we dealing with these Halflings?”

  Pollux looked between his fellow Gargoyles, “I don’t really know. I expected the soldiers at Prost to know where the battle was going on; that’s why we went there.” He looked back at the garrison. “I don’t think they’ll tell us now.” He frowned, “I figured they’d be attacking Prost Garrison.”

  “Where else could they be? I didn’t come all this way just to look at the scenery,” objected a large goat.

  The other goat nodded as well, “Not much to see out here anyway.”

  “Well Koza and Gafr, if they weren’t coming to Prost, then they’d have to be attacking Frank’s Keep, right?” Said Nancy. “So I say we head east from here until we find them.” She flexed her wings, “Honestly, how hard could it be to find an entire Halfling army?”

  The two lions nodded their approval. “Sounds good to us. Pollux?”

  Pollux shrugged his massive shoulders. “That’s as good a plan as any.” He pointed with a stone claw, “East it is. It’s almost light now anyway, so they’ll be on the move soon.”

  “I’ll see what I can do about spotting them from above.” Nancy beat her stone wings and lifted straight into the air. The Golem on her back howled in terror as he hugged her long neck. “East!” She called down as she flew a shaky circle around the group and headed off into the red-tinted sky. The Golem continued to howl as they left.

  “I sure hope that Golem gets used to flying or she’s going to just dump him off,” said Rueben as he began to walk. He bumped his shoulder into his mate as he made his way, “Just like old times, eh love?”

  Cerise nodded “Is there anyone else you’d want to fight beside?” She asked playfully- already knowing the answer.

  “If you could see my heart you’d know it’s true. There’s none for me, Cerise, but you.” The two stout dragons took the lead in the group, brushing shoulders as they went.

  “If you two start singing, I’m going to find my own battle,” warned Hefty. “It’s a battle, not a carnival you know.” He shook his head as the rest of them fell in step behind the pair.

  Within half an hour, with the sky turning from its pre-dawn red to a daytime blue, Nancy swooped down on the group of Gargoyles. Her golem was missing. “Found them!” She said as she bellowed out her wings and landed.

  “Where’s your golem?” Hefty asked.

  Nancy smiled at him. “Hefty, you old softie, you. I sent him ahead to let them know we’re coming.” She pointed south, “They’re set up at Littlehorn, less than fifteen minutes from here and...”

  Pollux nodded. “Nice work, Nancy,” he interrupted, “we can meet you there if you want.”

  “You didn’t let me finish. They’re set up at Littlehorn. The Halflings are on their way there now. And from the looks of the dust cloud, there’s a lot of them.”

  “How long ‘til they get there?” Asked Castor.

  “Less than ten minutes. They seem to be moving magically quick.”

  “Let’s go then!” Said Pollux. Without waiting for the others, he turned and began to gallop towards the small cliff. The others quickly followed suit.

  Nancy took to the air. “I’ll go warn them,” she said as she beat her wings to gain altitude.

  Chapter Four

  Little - Big Horn?

  Much Earlier…

  Captain Frank bolted down the steps two at a time. As he went, his remaining soldiers fell in behind him. “Let’s get going men!” He commanded as he swung up onto his mount. “Head out to the Shambler Plains!”

  Dutifully his men mounted their steeds and bolted from the Keep.

  Captain Frank halted at the gate and looked up at the two brave Gnomes he had left behind. The rat was looking directly at him. “Head south to towards Littlehorn!” He shouted at the rat. “We’ll be waiting there!” He pointed to make sure the rat knew he was talking to it. In the back of his mind, he was fairly sure that between it and the Gnomes, the rat was the smartest of the three. The rat pointed back, said something, then nodded. Good; they know where to go. He gave a thumb’s up. “See you there!” He shouted as he turned and drove his horse through the portcullis.

  Captain Frank rode across the drawbridge and almost headlong into his men. “Why are you stopped? The Halflings are coming!”

  “Over all that racket we didn’t hear a word you said, Sir,” said one of the men. “Where are we supposed to go?”

  The Captain pointed southwesterly, “I told you people; to Littlehorn. We’ll hide out on the other side of it.”

  “Littlehorn? Where’s that?”

  Captain Frank exhaled angrily, “It’s that little cliff that’s not but three leagues southwest of here. It’s practically along a straight line from here to where Aution used to be. It looks like a feather headdress from the south side. He pointed southwest to make sure the men knew the direction. “That way!”

  “I know that place. It’s called Littlehorn?” Asked another soldier, “I thought that was Bighorn.”

  A third soldier shook his head, “That’s farther west of here towards Prost Garrison along the road. It’s where sometimes bandits try to set up to attack people on the road because it gives them the high ground.”

  “I thought that one was Littlehorn.”

  Captain Frank shook his fist at the man, “Lieutenant, that’s Bighorn!” He pointed westward. “Is that where you sent the soldiers?”

  The Lieutenant shrugged, “I didn’t tell everyone that, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

  “I know that a bunch of the soldiers said they knew where Littlehorn was and were heading south,” offered the other soldier.

  The third decided to just stay out of the conversation- he had never heard of either outcropping called those names. His parents had called them Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse - south and west respectively[4].

  Captain Frank took a deep breath. “Fine. Fine. We need all the soldiers at Littlehorn.” He pointed southwest. “So Lieutenant Paul, get over to Bighorn and round up any soldiers along the way to let them know that the Halflings are coming to Littlehorn. Got it?”

  “The Halflings are coming. To Littlehorn. Got it, Sir,” said the Lieutenant. He saluted smartly to emphasize the point. “Everyone to Littlehorn.” With that he turned and rode westward.

  Captain Frank turned his steed around and looked at his keep. “I hope those two can hold them off for a few hours. I don’t mind saying, two Gnomes against the whole of the Halfling army isn’t good odds at all.” He gestured at the remaining two men, “Let’s get going.”

  The three rode quickly- covering the leagues to the cliff in a matter of minutes. When they arrived, Captain Frank rode to the top of the cliff and looked down. To his relief there was a substantial amount of men loitering there. “What’s the situation?” He called down hoping that someone had taken charge.

  Chapter Five

  Littlehorn It Is!

  The Sergeant at Arms waved as he moved closer to the small cliff face, “Sir! I’m glad you’re here. We’ve have a mix up in where the men were supposed to meet!”

  Captain Frank held up his hand to silence his second in command. He pointed to one end of the small outcropping that stretched almost one hundred yards in either direction. The Sergeant at Arms nodded and began to jog in the direction his commander indicated. Captain Frank coaxed his horse into a gallop to meet him there.

  Captain Frank rode to where the outcropping began to even out - it was still steep, but not so much a horse couldn’t run down it. He circled back to where his Sergeant at Arms would be coming from and reached the out of breath man.

  “Glad you came my way, Sir,” said the man with a smile.

  Captain Frank shook his head, “What a mess.” He dismounted from his horse and let go the reins. The well-trained horse relaxed and began to graze. “How many men you have with you?”

  The Sergeant at Arms looked back to where the men were sitting in the pre-dawn d
arkness. “About five hundred.”

  That was almost half again as many men as he had at the keep. “Five Hundred?” The Captain gaped at him, “Where’d you come across that many men?”

  The Sergeant at Arms shrugged. “When we got here, there was a group of men moving towards the Keep. They’re from Julesville, Salt Flats, Jute.” He paused for a moment, “Both Jutes, actually. It was by sheer luck too.”

  “How so?”

  “The folks from the Jutes were heading to Prost Garrison and the folks from Julesville and Salt Flats were heading to us at the keep. They saw each other’s torches and were here discussing…” He paused again. “Well, they were arguing, really, where they should go when we got here. I just took control of them all not a little before you got here.”

  “How many of them are there?”

  The Sergeant at Arms looked back at the group of men. “From the surrounding towns? About four hundred.”

  “So we’re missing almost a hundred fifty of our men?”

  The Sergeant at Arms shrugged, “That’s about right, Sir.” He looked back at the men again. “They’re all a little agitated. It might help if you talked to them,” he suggested. His eyed widened. “I never made it up on the wall. How many Halflings we talking about?”

  “Five thousand give or take.”

  The Sergeant at Arms took a step away from his commander.

  Captain Frank nodded. “Yeah.” He took his horse’s reins and began to lead the animal as he walked with the Sergeant at Arms.

  “How long you think we have before they get here?”

  The Captain considered the question. “I can’t imagine those Halflings will attack until daybreak, so if those two Gnomes can hold them off for an hour or so after that, we’ve got a good two hours before they storm the Keep. Hopefully a half hour to regroup, then probably a little less than an hour to cover the short three leagues here.” He paused and considered that for a moment. “That is if they come in this direction.”