Here's Looking For You, Grim (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 3)

by Robert P. Wills

  Maccus saw what was going to happen, and moved to a run, closing the distance between him and Chéri rapidly.

  Semfeld reached Chéri first, grabbing her by one hand and yanking her up to his side. She hugged him around the chest as she worked her way in front of him, facing the wrong way. “Nicely done!”

  Maccus, taking a cue from the female that now seemed to be getting away, flipped his long knife and hurled it at the escaping pair. He was upset to see that he missed the female. His letdown was tempered by the fact that his knife was stuck a good distance into the male that was driving the mount.

  Chéri leaned back as the tip of the long knife stuck through Semfeld’s shoulder, just above his right armpit. Semfeld jolted in the saddle from the impact and lost the reins. Still moving at a gallop, the Shambler continued with no guidance from its rider, following the last order given by having its sides kicked.

  Chéri twisted around in the saddle and grabbed the reins as Semfeld leaned to one side. Unable to grab anything else, she reached up and held the blade of the knife to keep him on. She looked around to get her bearings and made the Shambler turn to its left to head toward where town should be. “Hang on Semfeld. It’s just ten minutes. Hang on!”

  Chéri kicked her Shambler in the sides, trying to coax more speed out of it. She looked left and right, hoping to see Liverioso.

  Finally after several long moments, Liverioso moved beside her. “We made...” he began. His voice trailed off as he saw the two-foot long knife sticking out of his partner. “Semfeld!”

  “He’ll make it. We just need to get to town!”

  “What can I do?”

  “Have you ever been to Cool Springs? Where’s the doctor?” She called from her mount.

  Liverioso thought back to the one time, years ago, when he had been to the town. He was in his mid-teens and it was for a wedding. The Bryologist was marrying the Butcher if he remembered correctly. It was a big affair and his parents, friends of the Groom, made sure they were there, introducing the young Liverioso to both sides of the family. He had had no need to go to the doctor while he was there. “I have no idea! I know the guild is near a water tower, though!” He distinctly remembered that because he had climbed up there with the bride’s younger sister to go skinny dipping in it. The Magicians heard the giggling and climbed up to see what was taking place in their water supply. He and the also-in-her-mid-teens girl were caught by two stern-looking Magicians in, as they had put it, ‘Floating Flagrante Delicto’. His parents were not pleased and immediately ordered the pair to never see each other again.

  Thus began a torrid love affair that spanned the better part of five years. When Sage abruptly left one day after watching her nephew the night before, Liverioso was devastated. There was no note, no explanation. Nothing. It was then that his stutter developed. And his mean streak.

  “Look out Liv!” Chéri’s warning snapped Liverioso out of his painful reminiscence as a branch approached. “Sage,” he said absently as he ducked. “Where are you, Sage?”

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  The two rode hard towards the town, which thanks to the intervention of the TurtleDjin, was now a life-saving ten minute - seven with the current pace- ride away.

  “Hold on Semfeld!” Chéri called to the lolling Magician. She had moved to use her back to support Semfeld by bracing it against his chest as she held the end of the knife down on her shoulder.

  Semfeld’s arms hung alarmingly slack to his sides.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  The Race Into Cool Springs

  Within seven minutes, the trio burst from the Emerald Forest and into town.

  “We need a doctor!” Chéri called to the first pedestrian she saw. “And make it quick!” She snapped.

  The pedestrian quickly moved to the opposite side of the road at the sight of the blood covered Gnomess and Human.

  “Leth me try,” offered Liverioso. He moved to an Elf walking in the opposite direction. “Excuthe me, Elf. We are in dire need of a doctor. Can you point uth there?”

  “He can’t fix lisps, I don’t think.”

  Chéri moved beside the Elf. “Can he fix me taking your head clean off at the shoulders? This one needs the doctor, you dolt!” She jerked her chin up at the barely conscious and still bleeding Semfeld, behind her.

  The Elf’s eyes got large. “That he can fix.” He pointed down the street. “One way or another. He’s by the water tower, two blocks down. There’s a set of Orc leg bones crossed over the place. But I’m not so sure Murr...”

  Chéri bolted down the street in the direction the Elf had said.

  “Thankth, Elf.”

  The Elf raised a well-maintained eyebrow. “Want some advice?”

  “Nope.” Liverioso kicked his Shambler’s side and took off towards his partner.

  The Elf pursed his lips and continued on his way. “The magic word to get past Murray right away would have been good advice.”

  When Liverioso caught up to Chéri, she had stopped in front of an old wood building. She was pulling Semfeld off the saddle while trying to not cut herself on the large blade sticking out of him.

  Liverioso jumped from his saddle and went to help Chéri. He picked up Semfeld and gestured toward the doctor’s office with his chin. “Go!”

  Chéri moved to the steps in front of the door. Over the door was a set of crossed Orc leg bones. Mounted on top of them was a Human’s skull. “What kind of advertisement is that?”

  “What you want?” Asked the skull.

  Chéri did a double-take. “What?”

  “Looks like a puncture wound. Through and through as it were.” The skull’s jaw clattered up and down as it spoke. “High though, so it missed anything vital. Can still kill you with blood loss if you don’t...”

  “Listen, Skull. I don’t... We don’t have time to sit and chat.”

  “Murray.”

  “What?!”

  “Name’s Murray. Highly evil skull aiming to take over the Lands!”

  “What’re you doing up there?”

  “Well, in between other domination plans, I’m the receptionist.”

  Liverioso stepped forward. “Well thith ith an emergenthy. We need to get our friend theen!”

  “Can’t fix lisps.”

  “I KNOW THAT!” Liverioso shook his fist from under Semfeld’s knees at Murray.

  “Listen, Murray. We’re here because he had a very large knife stuck into him and we need it to be not stuck in him. We need to see the doctor!”

  “Looks like an Orcish long knife. Not quite a short sword, bigger than a dagger. Why I remember this one time, I was sitting on a shelf, contemplating taking over the Lands with a diabolical plan, when suddenly the park of amusement I was in exploded...”

  “Listen, I don’t give a Shambler’s left nut...”

  “...and after ending up here, Doc Morrow, a man after my own darkened soul, gave me a job. As a recept...

  “We don’t have time for a long story and I don’t care what this blade is called. I just want it out of him!” Now Chéri shook her fist at Murray.

  “Please, please, let us see the doctor!” Begged Liverioso.

  “Well, why didn’t you say so?” Murray clattered at them. Murray looked down at the door. “Examination room two.”

  The door squeaked open.

  “Right behind you, Chéri!”

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Doctors in Cool Springs- Not as Helpful as You’d Think

  “Don’t make a mess!” Murray called after them. “I’ve just mopped!”

  Chéri took the stairs two at a time. As she entered the doctor’s office she saw small pennants sticking out of door frames, numbered one to four. She moved to the door under the pennant with a ‘2’ over it and opened it. “In here, Liv!”

  Liverioso took his time on the stairs, not wanting to fall and cause extra injury to his partner. Semfeld moaned in his arms as he made it to the door. Liverioso turned sid
eways and shuffled in.

  “In here, Liv!” Chéri said again. She pointed into the room.

  “What seems to be the trouble, Miss?” Said an ancient-looking Dwarf as he shuffled up.

  “Our friend got stabbed by some Orcs...”

  “In town?”

  “No. What does it matter where he got stabbed?”

  “It’s against the law in town.” He smiled. “Would have to call the sheriff.”

  “It was out in the forest near some old shack.” She pointed out the door. “In the forest.”

  The Dwarf nodded. “Fine, fine. Bring him in and put him on the table and I’ll see what I can do.”

  Liverioso moved to the table and placed his partner on it on his side, injured side up.

  “Woops there youngster. Flip him that other way.”

  Liverioso obeyed the ancient Dwarf and carefully rolled his partner onto his other side. “Why?”

  “Cause I don’t want him to stop breathing. I’d have to call the authorities.”

  “What?.”

  “Same if he dies, you know.” The Dwarf still had not made any movement toward the injured Semfeld.

  Semfeld moaned.

  “For the Lord High Priest’s sake, do something!”

  “Now, now, lassie. It’s all under control.” He assured Chéri. He still hadn’t moved.

  “Are you a doctor?” Liverioso asked.

  “Yep. The best one in Cool Springs.”

  Chéri rolled her eyes. “What, are you the only one?”

  The Dwarf finally moved to Semfeld and began to prod his chest. “No, no. There’s more th’n a dozen in town. Rough place, Cool Springs. Lots of doctors. Lots.”

  “Well, do some of that best doctoring in town, and take care of him,” Liverioso said as he pointed to his friend.

  The Dwarf looked at the long knife. “Well, here’s your problem, right here.” He grasped the long knife by the leather-wrapped hilt and yanked it out in one motion. He let it clatter onto the table. “That’s better.”

  Semfeld moaned as blood poured out of the now-open wound.

  “Whath are you doing?” Liverioso drew his wand.

  “Now, now,” said the Dwarf. “Can’t rightly fix a hole in someone if something is already plugging it, can I?”

  “Do. Something. Helpful,” Chéri said icily. “Or I swear on the heads of...”

  “Don’t go threatening doctors, Missy. Not the smartest thing to you. I’d have to call the authorities.” He looked at her. “After I killed you where you stood.” He eyed her for a moment, then smiled as he turned back to the bleeding Semfeld. “Well, looks like we’ve got a problem here. Yep, sure does.” He reached under the table and pulled out a dirty rag. Before either Liverioso or Chéri could say anything, he rolled it by twirling it between his hands and shoved one half into the front wound in Semfeld. He did the same with the back half. “There we go.”

  Semfeld moaned again.

  “Can you give him something for the pain?”

  “Sure, sure. I can do that.” He turned to look at Chéri again. “Say, while you’re at it, you want to talk me through everything else I’m going to do?”

  “Fine, Doc. Take care of him and we can come back.” She waited for the doctor to say something. He didn’t.

  Semfeld moaned.

  “When do you want us to come back?”

  “Honestly? Never.” The doctor returned to prodding Semfeld’s chest. “But since that’s not gonna happen. Give me a good thirty minutes.” He looked at the soiled rag. “Make it an hour to be sure.”

  “And you are going to...”

  “Missy...” He began to turn away from Semfeld again.

  “Fine, Doc. We’ll be back in an hour.” She put her hand on Liverioso’s shoulder. “We’ll go wait someplace.”

  “That’s exactly where I want you to go.”

  “Got any better advice on a place to wait?” Liverioso asked.

  “Nice inn in town. You could get a room. He’s not gonna be able to travel for a few days.”

  “Thanks Doc.” The pair started to move to the door.

  “Oh, almost forgot to ask,” the Dwarf said. “You want him back like he was, or a Zombie?”

  “What?” Chéri turned around. “We want him back like he was. Why would we want our friend to be a Zombie?”

  “Well, easy to get along with,” began the Dwarf, “and of course...” He paused for a moment. “Fine, fine. Back to being a human.” He looked at Semfeld. “In that case, make it sixteen hours.”

  Chéri stared at the doctor.

  He shrugged and turned back to Semfeld. “See you in sixteen hours. Back to Human, all that.”

  Chéri put her arm on Liverioso again. “Let’s go see about a place to stay for a few days.”

  “But, Chéri...” began Liverioso.

  Chéri pinched his shoulder. Hard. Thanks to a fairly steady stream of abuse from her, Liverioso closed his mouth. She ushered him out of the examination room.

  As she got to the bottom of the stairs, she turned to Liverioso, “What’s the matter with you? Were you going to say we have no money right there in front of that unstable doctor?”

  Liverioso’s eyes got large when he realized the mistake he almost made. “I’m sorry, I don’t know...”

  “Ya got no money?” Murray interrupted.

  The pair looked up at the skull. “Who asked you?” Chéri asked.

  “I’m the receptionist. I take care of appointments, examination room assignments, and billing,” Murray said with a clattering jaw. “Don’t try and double cross me!”

  “Well, we have money, juth so you know,” said Liverioso. He stood up a little straighter. “It juth so happenth that I am an Enforther in the Magithians Guild and have full power and authority to act...”

  “Look who’s the chatter box all of a sudden,” said Murray. “A simple ‘yes’ would do, you know. Even a jingling of a money purse.” Inexplicably, he seemed to roll his empty eye sockets.

  “Let’s go Liv. We’ll get a room, then go by the guild and get a line of credit,” Chéri said. She looked up at Murray. “Where’s the nearest, best inn?”

  Murray furrowed his brow. “Let’s see. I’d suggest the Are and Eee or Eee and Are. Down the way to the left about two blocks.”

  “So which one is better?”

  “Which what?”

  “Which inn?” Chéri put her hands on her hips. “Why is everyone in this town so difficult?”

  “Listen,” began Murray. “You asked me for the closest Inn that was also of good quality.”

  “Yes.”

  “So I said the Are and Eee or Eee and Are. Because that’s the best inn in this vicinity.”

  “The inn is called Are and Eee or Eee and Are?”

  “You’re kinda slow, I take it.” He turned toward Liverioso. “You got anything chatterbox?”

  “Whath a stupid name for an inn.”

  “That didn’t help any. I’d suggest keeping your mouth closed from now on.”

  “You know, you sure aren’t the most friendly of sorts.”

  No one said anything for a moment.

  “Oh, you were talking to me?” Clattered Murray. “I thought you meant mister chatterbox there.”

  “Let’s go Chéri,” said Liverioso. He didn’t like being pushed around by a skull and wanted to say something just to defy him. But nothing came to mind.

  Murray seemed to roll his eyes again. “Out of towners.” He said to no one in particular.

  “Let’s go,” said Chéri. “We’ll get a room, then go by the guild. You said it was by a water tower?”

  Liverioso nodded. He had thought of the water tower incident with Sage, her disappearance and all the days in between almost every night.

  With that, the pair started to walk off.

  “See you in an hour,” said Murray.

  “We don’t want our friend to be a Zombie,” Liverioso called to Murray.

  “See you in sixteen hours,
” said Murray without missing a beat.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Inn Keepers in Cool Springs- They Are Actually Quite...

  The pair walked down the street towards where Murray said the inn was.

  “Thanks again for what you and Semfeld did for me, Liv.”

  “You’d have done the same for us.”

  The two walked in uncomfortable silence for a few paces. “No, honestly, Liv, I don’t know if I would have. Being in my profession, you tend to not get close to too many people.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Well, typically when someone puts out a contract on an Assassin, that other Assassin usually starts by killing everyone close to them just to let them know that they’re marked.”

  “Gads! That’s horrible.”

  “Hey, we’re not gardeners...”

  “Well, in any cathe. We couldn’t juth leave you there.”

  “And for that I’m thankful.” She turned to look at Liverioso, “And for the record, as my friend, I’ll always come back for you now. ‘Course...”

  “Yeth?”

  “If I ever get marked for death, now you’ll be one of the first to know.” She gave him a playful shove.

  “Well, thath’s comforting.”

  The two stepped in front of a four-story building. “Thith has to be the inn.” Liverioso looked up at the top of the inn. Across the top, in large red letters was: ‘R&E or E&R’. Under it in smaller red letters was ‘Eating House and Inn’.

  “That still doesn’t make sense. Let’s go in and see about getting a room.”

  The two went up the stairs to the large, stain glass double doors. “Nice,” offered Liverioso. “Hope it’s not too expenthive.” Liverioso leaned forward and opened the door for Chéri. “After you.”

  Chéri smiled as she entered. The foyer and front desk were well apportioned and bright. “Real nice.”

  Liverioso pointed to the front desk. There was a bored looking human standing there. Beside the front desk, staring straight ahead, was a full-grown Orc. He was wearing white pants that came to his knees, a short-waisted red coat, and a red cap that had a black tassel sticking out of the top of it.