Savage Abandon

by Cassie Edwards

  “I am here to take food to the white woman,” Wolf Hawk said, hesitating at calling Mia a captive.

  In his heart she was nothing of the kind. She was a woman he desired more each time he looked at her.

  She had a way of reaching inside his heart and making him believe that she did not hate him.

  He had seen her gaze at him more than once with the eyes of a woman who was interested in a certain man.

  He was glad that she had given him that look, for he hoped to find her innocent of wrongdoing so that he could treat her as someone special…as someone he might ask to remain permanently in his village.

  Since her father’s death, she had no one to defend her or care for her. He felt the urge to become her protector.

  In time he would know if his feelings toward her were warranted.

  “Wolf Hawk, my cousin, do not let your eyes linger on that woman,” Little Snowbird said, giving him a sideways glance as she prepared a platter to take to the woman. “She is not of our world, Wolf Hawk. Remember that. She…is…a part of the white race that has wronged so many of our people.”

  “You forget who you are talking to?” Wolf Hawk growled out. “Little Snowbird, I make my own decisions about things and I never enter into anything without being certain of what I do.”

  Little Snowbird gave him a sheepish look, then smiled as she handed the platter to Wolf Hawk. “It is because I love you too much,” she murmured. “Ever since your mother left us to walk the road of the hereafter, I have become your mother.”

  “And I have appreciated your love and concern,” Wolf Hawk said, taking the wooden tray from her. “I am sorry for having just spoken to you in a tone that is not usual for me. But know that I must be in control of my own heart. I guard it well.”

  “I know,” Little Snowbird said. She reached up and patted him gently on his handsome, copper face. “I know. Go now. There is enough food for both you and the woman.”

  “And you would give me permission to eat with her?” Wolf Hawk said in a teasing fashion, his eyes gleaming playfully.

  “Cousin, go,” Little Snowbird said, taking him gently by the elbow and ushering him outside. “Enjoy the honey that I have placed with the venison to make it especially delicious.”

  “And you did this for the white captive?” Wolf Hawk asked, turning and smiling again mischievously at his cousin.

  “I did it for you, not her,” Little Snowbird said, lifting her chin stubbornly.

  Then she laughed softly. “Go now or I shall take it away from you and eat it myself,” she said, giving him a gentle shove toward the open flap.

  Wolf Hawk laughed softly, too.

  He left her tepee and walked toward the larger one, wondering just where his attraction for the white woman would end.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Light, so low upon earth,

  You send a flash to the sun,

  Here is the golden close of love.

  All my wooing is done.

  —Alfred, Lord Tennyson

  As Mia waited for Wolf Hawk’s return to the large tepee, she felt strangely anxious for his return.

  Wolf Hawk was a man of much charisma and kindness, and although she was in his village as his captive, somehow she didn’t feel like a prisoner, at all. He had treated her too gently, too caringly, for that.

  As she sat there on the thick, soft pallet of furs and blankets, with the fire warm on her face, she saw that this tepee was vastly different from any dwelling that she had ever seen before. But she found it delightful to relax without feeling the sway of a boat beneath her or the fishy smell that surrounded her during the weeks of traveling with her parents each year.

  She would never understand why her parents had preferred those times on the river, instead of living, year-round, in their St. Louis home, where they had such comforts.

  Her father had tried to explain it by saying that while they were traveling on their scow, they were not dependant on anyone but themselves and that was the way they liked it.

  She knew that they had decided to give up their river travel only because of her father’s questionable health. How she wished that they had made that decision earlier. She truly believed that the hard work of steering the scow had helped weaken her father’s heart.

  She forced her mind away from the sadness of their deaths and again studied the lodge that would be her home for she knew not how long. Forever?

  Or would she be set free as soon as the Indians learned that she was not guilty of any crimes against them? How would she survive in a world where she would be all alone and without family?

  Again she forced her mind on to other things. Everything in this tepee smelled fresh and clean. The blankets and pelts rolled up against the walls, the mats on which she sat, were all that she would need to be comfortable while staying there. She could see why an Indian woman could be content in such a dwelling as this, especially if she had her family with her.

  The thought of family brought instant tears to her eyes again, for she just could not stop thinking about the loss of her parents. She still could hardly believe the terrible changes in her world. Of course she had tried to prepare herself for her father’s death since his health had been failing for some time, but the actuality of it was too much to bear.

  After her mother’s death, the knowledge that her father could leave her, too, had been so painful, that oft times she would get up in the middle of the night just to check on him, to see that he was still breathing.

  In truth, she should not completely blame Wolf Hawk for her father’s passing. Harry Collins had been dying long before he set eyes on the Winnebago chief. At least now he was no longer in pain.

  She truly had no idea just how much he had suffered, but she knew he suffered no more. He lay with his eyes peacefully closed.

  She would not think about him being in that shallow grave. In truth, he was with her mother, his precious wife. They were now together for eternity.

  Her papa was with his beloved Glenna!

  Mia had been caught up in such deep thoughts, she had not heard Wolf Hawk enter the lodge.

  He stepped just inside the tepee and saw that she was lost in thought, gazing into the dancing flames of the fire.

  He could only guess that she was thinking about her father, for her thoughts seemed intense. And he even heard a soft sob and saw her body tremble as if she were crying.

  He was not certain whether he should leave her with her thoughts, or interrupt them and distract her with talk and food.

  He had brought delicious things to eat. His cousin had prepared the best venison and had added to it a small portion of honey to make it even more tasty.

  He knew that it surely had been some time since Mia had eaten, as it had been for himself, so he walked on into the tepee. The sound of his footsteps caused her to turn her eyes to him.

  She wiped at her tears, yet said nothing to him.

  But she did notice the offering of food and he believed he saw a glimmer of interest in her eyes. He surmised that she was as hungry as himself.

  “My cousin has prepared us food,” Wolf Hawk said, setting the tray beside Mia. “It has been awhile since I have eaten so I shall eat with you unless you would rather I didn’t.”

  Mia was surprised that he would even give her a say in the matter. She was his captive. He could do anything he wanted, yet he was treating her gently and with respect.

  More and more she saw the sort of man he truly was. He was ever so gentle and considerate. Surely it was because he remembered the loss of her loved ones and understood the grief she held so deep inside her heart.

  “Yes, please stay,” Mia murmured.

  She gazed into his midnight-dark eyes and was shaken by the way they made her feel.

  She had never felt anything for a man before. She had spent more time with her family than socializing with others.

  “During my recent hunt, I searched for a bee’s nest where I could find honey for my widowed cousin. She p
repares all my meals, and she sent some of this honey today to eat with the venison,” he explained.

  He held out the platter, encouraging her to take food from it since she still hesitated to do so.

  “Take a piece of meat, then dip it into the honey,” he softly urged. “You will soon realize how good it is.”

  “I have never eaten meat with honey,” Mia said, plucking a strip of the meat from the tray.

  “Dip it,” Wolf Hawk said, nodding toward her.

  He watched her as she finally did dip the venison into the honey.

  He waited anxiously for her reaction.

  He smiled when he saw from the expression in her eyes that she liked it.

  He understood now the wisdom of putting the honey with the meat. His cousin had realized that a young lady who had been taken captive by Indians needed something to lessen her fear of being with them.

  And she knew that the sweetness of honey could reach into anyone’s heart and make a person feel more relaxed.

  “It is very good,” Mia said, surprised and now eager to take another bite. She hesitated, however, for Wolf Hawk had not eaten any of it yet.

  Hungry, and now satisfied that he had pleased the woman, Wolf Hawk set the tray down, then took his own piece of meat and dipped it into the honey.

  He ate it eagerly, smiling to himself when Mia no longer hesitated, but now ate bite after bite of venison dripping in honey.

  “I am glad that you are enjoying the meat. The best meal is one that is shared with friends,” Wolf Hawk said, feeling pleasantly full. He sat more comfortably with his legs crossed before him, his hands resting on his knees.

  “I take pride in being a good hunter,” he said, smiling at Mia. “And a good chief. I share what I bring home from the hunt with those of our clan who have no father, brother or husband to hunt for them. No one goes hungry in the village of Wolf Hawk.”

  “If you are a hunter, does that not mean that you trap animals just like the white men you wish to find and punish?” Mia dared to ask.

  “We do trap small game,” Wolf Hawk admitted. “But we have never used traps that have steel jaws, which cause the animals so much suffering.”

  “Then what sort do you use?” Mia asked. “Isn’t one trap as deadly as another?”

  “My warrior hunters use traps that kill instantly,” Wolf Hawk explained. “Ours do not maim and leave the animals to die slowly.”

  “But how can you be certain?” Mia prodded, feeling that one trap was as bad as the next.

  “I will explain and then you will understand that our way is humane while the white man’s steel traps are not,” Wolf Hawk said. “And our traps would never catch humans in them as the trappers’ did.”

  “I’m certain they did not mean to kill the braves,” Mia murmured.

  Wolf Hawk’s insides tightened. “You are defending the trappers?” he asked thickly. “Perhaps you really do know them and approve of what they are guilty of having done?”

  Mia gasped at what he was implying. That was the last thing she wanted Wolf Hawk to think!

  “I am not defending them, for I think what they did was horrible, and, no, I do not know them,” she blurted out, her face hot with a nervous flush that she wished wasn’t there.

  She had to prove to this Indian that she was innocent of the trappers’ crimes and that she did not know them. She also had to be more careful what she said to him. Her life might depend on it.

  “I hope that what you speak is truth, for I am beginning to trust that you are what you say you are,” Wolf Hawk told her. “I am my people’s leader. They depend on me to choose the right path. I have seen much innocence in you, and loneliness. You have known deep sorrow at the loss of your parents, and now you are alone. Remember this…if you wish to allow me to help fill that lonely space inside you, I would be happy to.”

  “But…I…am your captive,” Mia blurted out, stunned at his suggestion. “How can you help me feel less lonely? Why should you care?”

  Wolf Hawk wanted badly to reach out and touch her face, which had become flushed. “Just trust that I do care and I will not allow any harm to come your way while you are with me and my people. Did I not feed you well? Are you not in a safe place with comforts all around you? Is not the fire warm against your flesh?”

  “Yes, you did all of those things for me, yet…I…am still a captive,” Mia said, slowly lowering her eyes. “That word…captive. It fills me with dread.”

  He reached over and dared to place his hand beneath her chin. Slowly he lifted it so that her eyes were level with his.

  “You are not a true captive,” he said, surprising himself that he would admit such a thing to her.

  But he was now sure that she had had nothing to do with the evil men he hunted.

  “If I am not a true captive, why not let me go now and allow me to find my own way in the world?” Mia said, all the while fearing that he just might take her up on the suggestion.

  If so, where would she go?

  Who would she ask for help?

  While here with Wolf Hawk, she at least felt safe, for she now knew that he would never harm her. She could sense that he had feelings for her, just as she did for him.

  When she sat with him, it was easy not to see him as an Indian, but instead, a very handsome man who was treating her ever so gently!

  “It is too soon for you to be thrust out into this cruel world, alone,” Wolf Hawk said, searching her eyes. “I promise you, white woman, that while you are with me, no harm will come to you. But once you are out in the world, you will have no one to watch over you.”

  “Why would you care?” Mia asked, now searching his dark eyes and seeing emotions that surely he would not say aloud.

  “I will continue telling you about the way my warriors trap animals when they hunt,” Wolf Hawk blurted out. He felt a need to change the subject, which was becoming much too personal.

  He had to wait and make certain that his feelings for this woman were real.

  “Yes, please tell me,” Mia murmured. “I would truly like to know. The steel traps are so inhumane. I have always thought they should not be allowed. But there are a lot of things that are wrong, yet used. I am glad to know that you have chosen a more decent way to trap the animals that you need for your people’s survival.”

  “Yes, it is for our survival,” Wolf Hawk said thickly. “Once you hear, though, you will see that our way is definitely the best way.”

  “Please do tell me,” Mia murmured, feeling more comfortable with him by the minute.

  “My men build the trap by propping up a heavy log on a pole. The bait is tied to the pole,” Wolf Hawk said. “As soon as the animal touches the bait, the heavy log falls on its head. It is killed instantly. There is no suffering.”

  He realized just as soon as he said it that even his people’s way of trapping did not lessen the sadness in Mia’s heart at the killing of animals. She was a gentle, caring woman, who preferred to take in animals and care for them, not kill them.

  “I see that what I said still offends you,” he observed, his voice drawn. “I apologize for that. Perhaps sometime you had an animal that you kept as a pet?”

  She was catapulted back to the moment she’d found Georgina’s empty cage this morning. Her hatred for Tiny multiplied inside her heart every time she thought about how he had allowed her canary to fly free of its cage.

  “Yes, I had a pet,” she said, her voice catching with emotion.

  Tears flooded her eyes as she wondered where Georgina was now? Was she all alone in the forest…or dead?

  Mia truly feared the little bird had been killed.

  “It was what sort of a pet?” Wolf Hawk asked.

  “A bird,” she murmured, brushing tears from her cheeks with the back of a hand.

  “You captured a bird and kept it as a pet?” Wolf Hawk asked, his eyebrows lifting. He could not envision any bird staying with him, tamed enough not to fly away at its first opportunity. His connection w
ith hawks made all birds seem sacred in his eyes.

  “No, I did not capture it,” Mia said, smiling through her tears. “I purchased it from someone at a trading post.”

  “I have never seen birds being sold at a trading post,” Wolf Hawk said, truly curious now.

  “It is not just any ordinary bird that might fly free in the forest,” Mia tried to explain. She was charmed that he did not know of such things.

  “It was a canary,” she said. “A canary is a tiny yellow bird raised to be a pet. It is not only beautiful, a joy to be with, but it also sings melodies all day long.”

  “Birds usually sing because they are happy,” Wolf Hawk said. “Does that mean that your bird was happy to be in a cage?”

  “It knew nothing else,” Mia murmured. “And, yes, she was happy. I gave her food and clean water every day. She loved me as much as I loved her.”

  “And where is your bird now?” Wolf Hawk asked softly.

  “Tiny released her to the wild,” Mia blurted out, anger flashing in her eyes. She knew he had done it on purpose to hurt her.

  “The tiny man that refused to help you dig the grave for your father?” Wolf Hawk asked softly.

  “Yes, him,” Mia said, her voice breaking with emotion as she envisioned Georgina so afraid, so alone!

  She hoped her precious canary was still alive to have those feelings, for it would be better than being caught in the claws of a hawk and eaten.

  “Why would he do that?” Wolf Hawk asked, leaning closer to Mia until their faces were only inches apart.

  “To spite me,” Mia said, oh, so aware of how close Wolf Hawk was to her.

  Their lips were only a breath apart.

  She had never ached to be kissed before, but now?

  She did!

  And she recalled the strength of his arms as he had swept them around her to lift her onto his horse. She remembered the clean, fresh smell of his skin and hair. She remembered the new feeling of passion he evoked within her.

  “Why would he want to spite you?” Wolf Hawk asked, daringly reaching a hand to her cheek and gently touching it. He drew it away when he saw how wide her eyes grew over what he had just done.