Box Set #2: Zynn-Zaz'Zia: [The 4 book 2nd Adventure of Egg and the Hameggattic Sisterhood]

by Robert Iannone

  “I refuse to go,” the girl said in one last bid for a reprieve . . . though she said it with little conviction.

  Dazzle didn’t answer; she just stood up, walked over to her daughter, hugged her, kissed her cheek, took the tiara off her head, and walked out.

  “Well, dear . . . time to go.” And before the Princess could scream about being called dear, Egg grabbed her hand and together they disappeared from Aerianna.

  *****

  They materialized in Grammy’s living room. And for a moment, the Princess didn’t move . . . she just scanned her surroundings. When she had seen all that there was to see, she said to no one in particular, “Is this a barn?”

  “No, dear. This is the living room of my house. And for the next six months, it will be your home.”

  The girl glared at the older woman then said, “There is some mistake. My mother would never subject me to such humiliation. I demand to be taken back immediately.”

  “Would you like some tea?”

  “Did you not hear me, old woman? Take me home this instant.”

  “Hey, don’t talk to my Grammy like that.”

  “Or what?” said the Princess with contempt.

  “Or I’ll . . .,” but before she could finish her threat, Eloise interrupted.

  “That’s quite enough, girls. Egg, thank you for coming to my rescue, but I believe I can take care of myself. And, as for you, young lady . . . I don’t have the power to take you home . . . only they do. However, if you don’t like this house, you are free to leave. Egg, show the Princess the door.”

  Egg walked over to the back door and opened it. She hadn’t notice till now that the weather was cold, wet and windy. By tonight, the temperature would drop low enough to turn the rain to snow. But for now, it was just slushy sleet.

  “Here you go, Meggy,” said Egg mischievously.

  Not even stopping to pick up her suitcase, the Princess turned and walked out the door. Egg closed it behind her.

  “Boy . . . is she like the nastiest person you ever met?” asked Sylvia.

  “Oh, she’s just a little spoiled. She’ll come around . . . eventually,” said Grammy.

  “Where do you think she’ll go?”

  “My guess is that she’ll be knocking on the door in about ten seconds.”

  Grammy was wrong . . . it was only seven seconds. “Let her in; would you dear?”

  Egg went to the door and opened it. Then she laughed.

  M’egg-Alynnia, Princess of Aerianna, and heir to the throne of Queen Rose’Alynnia stood their soaked from head to toe. Her hair was matted against her face and little drops of water dripped down her forehead, over her royal nose, down her chin and onto the floor.

  “Yes, dear . . . did you forget something?” asked Grammy innocently.

  “I have decided to stay the night. Take me to my room and draw me a bath.”

  “Well, isn’t that lovely. I’m so glad you decided to accept my hospitality. Egg, please show the Princess to the spare bedroom. And Sylvia, would you run the bath and fetch some towels for our guest?”

  “Sure, Grammy.”

  “I think it’s a lovely day to make a delicious hot stew. I’ll get the ingredients and when everyone is ready, you can all help me cook.”

  “I do not cook.”

  “Of course you don’t. But I’m going to teach you. Won’t that be fun?”

  M’egg-Alynnia gave Eloise a look that could melt iron. Then she gathered all of her royal dignity (which isn’t easy when you’re standing there looking like a drowned rat) and walked to the staircase that led to the bedrooms. She just stood there until Egg came over and led her upstairs. She walked up in stony silence.

  *****

  They waited for the Princess to finish her bath. She finally came downstairs in one of Grammy’s bathrobes. And to her credit . . . she made it look like a Queen’s ceremonial robe. She had obviously toweled dried her hair, but because it was long like her mother’s, it was still very damp.

  “I am hungry,” she announced.

  “That’s nice, dear. With the four of us working together, will have dinner prepared in no time.”

  “I do not cook.”

  “Yes, you already told us that. It’s actually quite simple. I’m sure you’ll learn in no time. By the way, your hair is still wet. Did you not see the blow dryer on the shelf?”

  The girl stood there silently for a moment. Egg and the others would come to realize the Princess was accessing the serpent’s crystals to try and understand an unfamiliar reference. “Ah . . . a device that dries hair. I have never seen one. You (pointing at Sylvia) . . . go fetch this device and demonstrate its use.”

  Before Sylvia could tell the girl to go fly a kite, Grammy asked, “Are you injured?”

  M’egg looked momentarily confused by the question. “No. I am perfectly fine.”

  “Oh, that’s good to know. So, you are quite capable of fetching the dryer yourself. The girls will be happy to show you how it works.”

  The Princess did her now-famous glare. “How dare you speak to me that way?”

  “What way is that, dear?”

  “You know perfectly well. You speak to me as if I wasn’t highborn; as if I was a commoner.”

  “Love, I’m sorry to have to tell you this . . . but on earth, you’re just one of us girls. Now, go fetch the dryer before you catch a cold with that wet hair. Hurry now.”

  “Uh,” the highborn girl huffed in frustration. But she did turn and go upstairs.

  “Well, isn’t this going to be just the funnest six months of our lives?”

  “It’s going to be a disaster,” observed Sylvia with a shake of her head.

  “Now, girls. Let’s think of this as a mini-Quest. You rescued Dazzle before . . . you’re just doing it one more time.”

  “Grammy . . . you are just amazing.”

  “Nonsense, my love, I just love a good challenge. Don’t you?”

  “Yeah,” said Sylvia, “if it’s a monster or an evil king.”

  *****

  When M’egg-Alynnia returned with the dryer, the girls took her to the downstairs bathroom and showed her how it worked. Despite herself, the Princess was impressed. When she returned to Aerianna, she would have one of the scientists build her one.

  But she had no intention of letting on to these two ragamuffins. “This device seems adequate. You may continue to use it on my hair after I bathe.”

  Instead of getting mad at the obnoxious comment, the girls just laughed and started to walk back to the kitchen.

  “You do not have my permission to leave.”

  “Darn it,” said Egg sarcastically. “Now I feel like a perfect jerk.”

  “Oh no, Egg,” said Sylvia playing along, “you’re not a perfect jerk . . . you’re a royal jerk.”

  “You’re right . . . gee, I feel so much better.” And they left the Princess standing there fuming.

  *****

  Back in the kitchen, the girls were beginning to prepare the meal. Well . . . everyone but M’egg-Alynnia.

  “Sweetheart, if you don’t help . . . you don’t eat.”

  “You would not dare . . .”

  “House rules, sorry.”

  In the end, the Princess cried . . . from chopping onions.

  *****

  Over dinner, Grammy laid out the plan . . .

  “We need to get our story straight. So, the first thing is the princess’s name.”

  “What is wrong with my name?”

  “It’s a beautiful name . . . but not an earth one. So, for the next six months you will be Megg Alynnia.”

  “But that is my name” and she rolled her eyes as if she was being forced to listen to a demented old fool.

  “Yes and no. On earth, everyone has at least two names. So, your first name is Megg and your last name . . . sometimes called your family name . . . is Alynnia.”

  “That is absurd.”

  “Perhaps . . . but you need to get used to it. Next, you are
my legal ward. Your mother gave me papers that will show that. And lastly, you are an orphaned second cousin of my old friend Grazy Grackle.”

  “What?”

  “We have to have some reasonable explanation of where you came from and why I’m taking care of you. Which reminds me, you’re from London. That’s in England. Please review its history so that if anyone asks you questions, you’ll have a ready answer.”

  “This is too much; it will never work. Just take me home and I will tell my mother that you tried . . . all of you. But this plan has proven too difficult to implement. She will understand. I am sure she will still give you whatever reward she has promised. She is very generous.”

  “There is no reward. We do this as a favor to your mother . . . our friend. And you are not going home until the school term is over. We will make this work. So, please adjust your attitude accordingly.”

  “You are insane.”

  “Dear,” said Grammy in a very quiet voice (a sure sign that she was very, very upset), “you will not insult me while you are in this house. If you do, I will make you sleep in the tool shed out back. Tell me, do you have mice and spiders on Aerianna?”

  “They definitely have spiders,” answered Egg.

  “I do not know what a mice is . . . but I hate spiders.”

  “Me, too” said Sylvia. “See, we have something in common.”

  “Then, dear . . . you will treat me with respect and I will allow you to sleep in this warm, comfortable house.”

  M’egg-Alynnia sat there fuming. But she knew she had no choice. “Thank you for this delicious dinner, Eloise. If you will excuse me, I would like to retire to my room.”

  The girl obviously didn’t mean a word she had said. But it didn’t matter . . . she had said it.

  “Why thank you. Have a pleasant night’s sleep. Tomorrow, we will register you at school.”

  The Princess stood up, straightened her shoulders, pushed out her chin and said as regally as she could, “I cannot tell you what that means to me.” But the other three could guess.

  Chapter 5 - School Daze

  Eloise drove M’egg-Alynnia to school the next day. This was the girl’s first chance to see what Earth looked like. And even though she had access to all sorts of information through her crystals, seeing it first hand was an entirely different experience.

  And what she saw didn’t impress her. “You earthlings live poorly” she said to Grammy.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Look at these dwellings . . . they are almost identical (she was talking about the houses). Each sits on an insignificant piece of land. There are so many of them all crowded together. And look at this lane (she meant the main road they were riding on) . . . it is inadequate to properly accommodate the volume of self-propelled carriages (she was referring to the heavy traffic and the cars). There is litter everywhere. And the wooden towers holding those cables . . . they are unforgivably unsightly (she was talking about the telephone poles). The weather is abysmal . . . better suited to dragons. And if I hear the blare of one more horn, I might scream (she meant car horns).”

  Grammy smiled at the girl’s observations. “I would certainly agree that some of what you say is true. But don’t be too quick to judge us. You will find that we earthlings have much to offer.”

  The Princess snorted derisively, “I will grant you one thing. This carriage is far more luxurious than those on my world.” Virtually all of the vehicles on Aerianna tended to be simple . . . but functional.

  “Well, that’s a start. One thing, dear . . . your terminology isn’t quite right. We refer to this carriage as a car or automobile; dwellings are called houses and the wooden towers are telephone poles.”

  “I know the earth terms. I simply do not wish to use them.”

  “That may well be. But if you don’t want people to make fun of you, I suggest you use the proper terms.”

  They drove the rest of the way in silence with the young girl taking in every last detail as this new world rolled past her window. When they reached the school, Eloise parked the car. But before they got out, she asked, “Would you like to review our little cover story one more time?”

  Instead of answering, the Princess just looked at her companion and frowned contemptuously.

  “Well, I’ll take that for a no. Then, since you’re ready . . . let’s go see the principal.

  *****

  Their appointment lasted a half hour. And in the end, M’egg-Alynnia was tentatively accepted. But because she had no transcripts from her previous schools (a small detail that Grammy had overlooked), the girl was required to take an aptitude test in English, History and Math.

  With the help of the crystals, she got a perfect score in history.

  She had always been good at math . . . and numbers are numbers regardless of what planet you’re on. So she scored very well.

  English was more of a problem. She wrote like she thought . . . namely like a princess of Aerianna. And though she answered everything . . . her essays were a bit unusual.

  “My goodness,” said Principal Knotworthy as he scanned the results of the tests. “You are a highly intelligent young lady.”

  “Yes, I am,” answered the very self-assured Princess.

  The Principal looked at M’egg-Alynnia and smiled. “It’s nice to see a young lady with such confidence. May I ask you a question?” he didn’t wait for permission. “Your phrasing on the essays was a bit unusual. It had an air of . . . ummm . . .,” he searched for just the right description, “. . . ah, yes, an air of royalty. You must be an avid reader of the British Monarchy?”

  “I am royalty,” she declared . . . causing Grammy to groan under her breath.

  “Are you now? In what way?”

  M’egg-Alynnia had studied England all too well. She knew the complete history of the British Royal family. “I am a third cousin, once removed from Prince Phillip, the Duke Edinburgh (he was the husband of Queen Elizabeth, the current queen of England.)”

  “Really? Then if I may ask . . . what are you doing here, in the care of Eloise?”

  Grammy was thinking furiously, trying to come up with some semi-reasonable explanation to this stupid statement by the Princess. But Meg-Alynnia already had an answer. “My father was a bit of a black sheep and the family did their best to keep him at a safe distance. When he and my mother died (that was part of the story that Grammy had made up) they chose to disavow that whole wing of the family. I was told to leave England and not to make any trouble. For that, they would forgive all of my father’s gambling debts.” Then she leaned closer to the Principal who did likewise. “You will not tell a soul, will you?”

  “Absolutely not; my lips are sealed. And, may I be the first to welcome you to Athenian Middle School. If there is ever anything I can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask.”

  “Thank you,” answered the Princess sounding very much like one.

  “There is one thing you can do for us, Principal Knotworthy. It would be very helpful if Megg could have her classes with my granddaughter or her best friend, Sylvia Hampton. They are the only people this poor child knows and they’ll be able to give her support and help her adjust to life in the States.”

  ”Absolutely. Consider it done. Then, if there’s nothing else . . .”

  “You have been most kind,” said M’egg-Alynnia with false sincerity.

  “You’re quite welcome, My Lady . . . I mean Megg. We’ll see you tomorrow morning at eight o’clock.

  Everyone shook hands and Grammy and her charge went back to the car in silence. After they got in, she turned to the young girl and said, “I should be furious at what you just did but I’m not. You are very clever and resourceful . . . and that’s something I admire. But be warned . . . don’t take this royal act too far. Do you understand me?”

  M’egg-Alynnia didn’t even look at Grammy. She stared straight ahead and said mockingly, “absolutely.” Eloise could just see the edge of the girl’s self-satisfied smile.
<
br />   *****

  Apparently, humans on earth and humans on Aerianna have a lot in common. M’egg-Alynnia’s plan worked perfectly. By the time she got to her first class the next day . . . everyone knew she was descended from royalty (albeit British and not Aeriannian).

  First period English was one of two classes that Egg, Sylvia and the three X’s shared. And now M’egg-Alynnia would join them. The other class with all six was last period P.E.

  After they all sat down, the teacher, Ms. Pigfurd (yup, the kids called her Miss Piggy behind her back) introduced the new student.

  “Everyone, please welcome Megg Alynnia. She comes to us from England and I’m told she has a bit of blue blood in her veins. Megg, perhaps you would like to tell us a little about your background?”

  “What does blue blood mean?” Egg asked Sylvia in a whisper.

  “It means she’s descended from royalty.”

  “Oh my gosh . . . nobody is supposed to know that.” Grammy had forgotten to tell her granddaughter about their conversation with Principal Knotworthy.

  M’egg-Alynnia stood up, walked to the front of the class and surveyed her new kingdom. “Thank you, Miss . . . ummm . . .,” she turned and smiled warmly at the teacher. She actually knew her name, but it would be unbecoming for a Princess to show familiarity with the hired help.

  “It’s Ms. Pigfurd.”

  “Of course it is. Thank you. And, it is true that a distant relative of mine . . . one I shan’t name . . . is of Royal birth. Please do not hold that against me. I am just an ordinary girl hoping to make new friends. And if I am unfamiliar with certain of your customs or words, perhaps you can correct my ignorance. Thank you all for this warm reception.” She turned to the teacher, almost smiled then sat down.

  And to Egg’s shock and Sylvia’s dismay, the class applauded . . . loudly.

  *****

  The class went without incident. But when it was over Melody, Presley and Angela made a beeline to the new girl and introduced themselves.

  “It is very nice to meet you,” lied the Princess.

  “What’s your next class?” asked Melody hopefully. “Maybe one of us will be in it with you.”