Good Girls Don't

by Victoria Dahl

  Not that it was nine to five, obviously. Luke wasn’t the only one here at 7:00 p.m. Tessa glanced over at the guy two desks to the left and found him staring at her. “Hi,” she said.

  He lifted his chin in greeting, then shot Luke a narrow look when he walked back into the room. “Got a date, Asher?”

  “None of your business,” Luke replied without looking up from his papers.

  “You sure she should be sitting in your partner’s place?”

  Luke’s eyes rose to meet Tessa’s for a second, then he turned a snarl on the other detective. “Watch your mouth, Morrison.”

  Tessa started to get up. “I can move. I didn’t know I was—”

  “That’s not what he meant, Tessa.”

  “Oh.” Oh. The other cop was referring to the rumors about Simone’s baby. She felt a hot flush climb up her neck.

  “Hey, Morrison, how about you apologize for being a dick?”

  Morrison just grunted and bent back over his work.

  “Asshole,” Luke muttered as he stapled papers together and copied something from the paper onto the evidence bag. After digging through his drawer for something, he closed it and came around to Simone’s desk. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “It’s no big deal.”

  He reached past her to open a drawer to her right, but after digging around for a few seconds, he froze. She heard him murmur something too soft to hear. He lifted out a paper and stared at it for a long moment before tucking it back in and closing the drawer. His face had gone tight with an emotion he didn’t want to let out.

  “One more thing and then we can go.”

  He stalked out, and as soon as he disappeared around a corner, Tessa eased open the drawer. She leaned to the right, angling her head for a better view inside, and then she saw it. An ultrasound picture. One of those 3-D ones she’d seen on the news. The baby’s face was clearly outlined in shades of gray, and that one glimpse told her what the emotion on Luke’s face had been…sadness.

  Tessa felt all her fears return.

  She closed the drawer and looked up at Morrison, but he was done with her. He’d said his piece. He’d made his feelings known. His fellow cops thought Luke was the father, and Tessa didn’t know what to think. The way Simone acted toward her…Luke couldn’t be the father. So why the hell did Tessa feel terrified that she was being lied to?

  SHE’D BEEN QUIET since the station, and Luke was more than sorry he’d taken her there. Fucking Morrison. He was the worst of the whole lot, because he was one of those assholes who thought female cops were nothing but trouble, and anyone who worked with one must be sleeping with her, too. What a mouth-breathing caveman. Ironically, the only one who hadn’t treated him with suspicion was the other female detective in the major crimes division. She seemed content with the idea that it was nobody’s business but Simone’s. Or hell, maybe Simone had confided in her. Maybe they’d gossiped and giggled about the guy over the bathroom sink. Yeah, right. As if Simone ever giggled.

  But that wasn’t Luke’s concern. His concern was the way Tessa kept worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. The way she kept staring at her water glass while they waited for their meal at her favorite diner.

  “Is everything good at the brewery?” he asked.

  “Yep. Everything’s great.”

  “Really? I detect a lighter tone. Did you resolve the issues with that deal?”

  Her smile started out small, but it soon spread to an all-out grin. Luke’s heart responded with its typical lurch.

  “Actually, I think that’s going to work out.”

  “Just like that?”

  Her smile twitched a bit, but she nodded. “Just like that.”

  “What about the sticking point? How did you smooth that over?”

  “Um, we just agreed to set that aside.”

  The nice thing about Tessa was that she was a terrible liar. She practically squirmed in her seat, and when the waitress approached with their plates, she leaned back with a sigh of relief. Luke let her take one bite of her omelet before he pushed again.

  “So the thing that Jamie screwed up had nothing to do with the negotiations?”

  She swallowed her omelet as if it were made of cement. Luke raised his eyebrows and waited.

  “It didn’t… Um…” She took a sip of water. “The disagreement didn’t really have anything to do with the deal, per se.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  Tessa looked to the side, as if someone else were listening. “Jamie slept with Roland Kendall’s daughter.”

  “Roland Kendall being the ‘Kendall’ of ‘Kendall Group’?”

  “Yes, exactly.”

  “Christ.” Luke shook his head. Jamie had been pretty wild in college, but Luke had been under the impression that he’d calmed down slightly in later years. “How did her father find out?”

  “It’s a long story. He found out and he called off the deal. I managed to talk him back into it.”

  “Have you told Eric yet?”

  “Nope. And I’m not going to.” She popped another bite into her mouth.

  Luke set down his fork. “You’re not going to?”

  “There’s no reason to.”

  “Tessa, everybody else knows. He’s going to find out somehow, and then he’s going to be extremely pissed that he was kept in the dark.”

  “I know my brothers, Luke. Eric doesn’t need to know, and if I can keep it from him, I will. He doesn’t need more stress.”

  “And Jamie agrees?”

  She stabbed her omelet so viciously that the fork clanged against the plate. “Sure. Why would he want to say anything?”

  Another lie. Did she think he couldn’t tell? Sorting truth from lies was half of his damn job.

  But he let it go. It was her family, her secret to keep. And hell, maybe Eric wouldn’t want to know. He’d certainly been happy to maintain his ignorance about Tessa’s social life. Boy, her brother had been way off on that one.

  Strangely, Luke felt almost nervous around her now. When they got back to the car, he didn’t know whether he should open the car door for her or hit the locks and molest her in the front seat. Both, maybe? She was a nice girl. And she was a wild woman. She was vulnerable, yet she didn’t need him. She was so sunny, but she’d faced more tragedy than he ever would.

  This was a dangerous situation. There couldn’t be anything more dangerous than a combination of fascinating personality and smoking-hot sex. Luke had been fooling himself thinking they could see each other casually and he’d be fine. He’d have to hit the brakes on this fast.

  But instead of slowing it down, he took her home. He’d pull back soon, though. After this weekend. Or after he solved the case. Soon, but not now.

  He opened two beers and handed her one. “Now we’ve reached that critical point where we find out if we have anything in common.”

  She perched on one of the kitchen stools. “In what way?”

  “Music or a movie? More importantly, which music or movie?”

  “And here I thought you were going to show me your handcuffs.”

  He started to smile, but there was still something off about her. Something too light, even for Tessa. And earlier, in the shower…she’d been desperate, not happy. “Are you okay?”

  “Sure. Why?”

  “You’re just acting a little…odd.”

  “Jeez, all I did was ask about the handcuffs.”

  “Look,” he said with a shrug. “I get it. Girls like handcuffs. That’s not what—”

  “What do you mean ‘girls like handcuffs’? How many girls?”

  “I just mean that women have brought it up before. Not that I’ve—”

  She set the beer down so hard that foam bubbled over the top and slid down the sides.

  “Now you’re acting really weird,” he said. “What’s going on?”

  She shook her head, then pushed up from the stool and crossed her arms. “I’m just…worried.”

  “About what?�
��

  “Lots of things.”

  “Okay. Like what?”

  Tessa cleared her throat and tossed her hair back. Luke set down his own beer and braced himself.

  “I know we’ve already talked about it, but this thing with Simone—”

  “Damn it,” he barked. “I knew I shouldn’t have taken you to the station.”

  “It’s not just that guy. I, um, accidentally heard you and Simone talking. Tonight.”

  “Okay.” He thought back, but he couldn’t figure out what she might have misunderstood about that.

  “You swear you’re not the father?”

  “I already made that very clear.”

  She held up her hands. “I believe you. I do. It’s just that you seem so close. You’re so… I have this horrible feeling you’re in love with her, Luke.”

  Pissed as he was, Luke couldn’t help but laugh at that. “If I am, I’ve sure got a funny way of showing it.”

  “Yeah, well, remember that Madonna-whore complex? What if I’m the whore?”

  “What?” he yelled.

  “I’m just saying—”

  “How many psych classes did you take in school? Stop pinning these weird diagnoses on me.”

  “Fine! But you care about her a lot. A lot. And I don’t want to be the idiot caught in the middle of that.”

  Luke threw his hands up in the air. “What am I supposed to say? I’m not in love with her. I care about her because we’ve spent the past two years working side by side together. We don’t have those kinds of feelings for each other. Why can’t you believe that?”

  “I don’t know. It scares me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because…” When she swallowed, Luke finally registered that she was close to tears. “Because I don’t want to be that stupid girl who falls for someone awful!”

  His anger didn’t leave him, exactly, but he felt it sink into his body until it was drowned by his rushing blood. “I’m not looking for a relationship,” he said quietly.

  Tessa looked startled, and she put her hand to her mouth as if she’d just realized what she’d said. “I didn’t mean… I know this isn’t—”

  “So let’s take it easy on each other, all right? We’ll be careful.”

  Her hands paused in midair. Frowning, she narrowed her eyes at him. “Careful about what?”

  “Falling. If we’re going to fall, let’s be careful.”

  She drew in a soft, steady breath. Luke held her gaze, hoping that she’d see he was feeling the same thing. The exhilaration and the fear. He’d never say it, but it was there.

  She let out her breath so slowly that he could barely see her chest move, but her pulse beat madly in her throat.

  “In case you can’t tell,” Luke said, “I don’t have the best track record. I might not be long-term material.”

  Tessa shrugged. “We don’t have to talk about that now. As long as you promise you’re not lying to me.”

  “That’s a promise. I’m not in love with Simone. It’s just that…I don’t know. I became a cop because I like to look out for people. And Simone…she’s like a sister. Plus…”

  “What?”

  “I guess kids kind of scare me.”

  “Kids scare you?”

  He knew it sounded ridiculous. It was hard to put into words. “They’re so fragile. The idea of her raising a baby on her own…”

  “They’re not that fragile. Kids bounce back from almost everything.”

  Luke shook his head. “People say that, but it’s not true. Being a cop in L.A…. Jesus, it was a nightmare, dealing with kids. Like seeing ruined lives playing out in front of you every day. Babies addicted to drugs. Kids left alone because their moms had to work. Kids into trouble just because they had no guidance. Girls out on the street because their dads treated them like shit. They don’t bounce back, Tessa. We just tell ourselves that. One wrong step and sometimes that’s it.”

  “But that’s not going to happen to Simone.”

  “Hopefully not, but it can’t hurt if I’m around to help, can it?”

  Tessa took his hand. “No,” she whispered. “That wouldn’t hurt at all.”

  “The world is a cruel place.”

  “I know,” she murmured, and he knew she was thinking of her parents.

  “I’m sorry, Tessa.”

  “Okay,” she whispered. “But that’s enough talking.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Let’s watch a movie. Enough saving the world for one day. Let’s just relax. And maybe…fall. Very carefully.”

  Luke smiled and picked up his beer with a hand that would’ve shaken if he hadn’t moved so carefully. “You got it.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  TESSA FELT LIKE she’d slept half the week away. Granted, not everything she’d done in bed had been sleeping. But she’d obviously been more stressed than she’d thought. She’d spent the night at Luke’s a couple of times, but the nights at her own place she’d slept like the dead for nine hours at a time. Now she was wide-awake, clear-eyed and realizing that she hadn’t solved her problem at all.

  How the hell was she going to get this contract past Eric? She’d put off talking to the lawyer as long as she could. But tomorrow was Monday and she’d have no choice.

  She sipped her coffee and stared out the window to her tidy backyard beyond. The trees cast dancing shadows on the brick patio. It was cold today; she could see the hard frost on the grass that hadn’t felt sunlight yet. But the bright morning still tempted her. Maybe a walk would help.

  Tessa bundled up and hit the sidewalk, trying to force her mind to think. But despite all her sleep, her mind still felt fuzzy, blurred at the edges with her impatience to set this aside and get back to thinking about Luke.

  She was in full-on crush mode, a state she hadn’t suffered since she’d fallen for Bryce Stevenson in high school. But Bryce had never so much as kissed her. Luke, on the other hand… Oh, Luke offered so many more delicious ways to fall head over heels. She didn’t know who she thought she was fooling; there was no careful way to do it. And she wanted to enjoy every reckless moment. That couldn’t happen until she solved the problems with this deal.

  Tessa walked past the bike shop on the corner of the block, then past the brewery. She kept going, hoping an idea would come to her. Five minutes later, she passed Eric’s apartment, ducking her head to hide her face as she walked.

  Luke was wrong about keeping this from Eric. Jamie was wrong, too. Eric didn’t need to know. One, because he’d be pissed at Jamie for years. And two, because he’d never let Tessa sacrifice her own financial health for the sake of the brewery. Neither would Jamie, but she didn’t know who else to turn to.

  Though he lived farther from the brewery than anyone else, Tessa found herself heading toward Jamie’s place. She didn’t go there much. More often than not, when she saw Jamie outside work, he was at her place for dinner or at one of their kickball games.

  For a few years after college, he’d shared a place with friends, but last year he’d found an old house being converted into a split duplex, and he’d bought the first-floor unit. She stepped onto the covered front porch and knocked on Jamie’s door.

  It was ten o’clock and he could still be asleep. Even if he wasn’t asleep, he might not be alone, but Tessa was willing to brave the embarrassment. A full minute later, he hadn’t answered, so she knocked again, hoping he’d suddenly appear.

  She felt…lonely. She missed just having brothers, the simplicity of those relationships. Jamie couldn’t help her figure out what to do about the contract, but maybe they could just sit and catch up on each other’s lives.

  But he wasn’t home.

  She didn’t know why she felt lonely. She’d certainly gotten lots of attention from Luke this week. Then again, Luke was the source of her uncertainty. What she felt for him was scary. Even assuming he’d been completely honest with her, it was scary. She’d never felt more than friendly affection for any of her other lovers
. It had been easy to like them and easy to walk away. But with Luke… God, with Luke she felt like she was standing on a cliff looking out over the ocean. It was beautiful and thrilling and she never wanted to leave, but one more step and she’d have nothing to hold on to. If she let her guard down, she’d plummet.

  Tessa stuck her hands in her pockets and started for home at a much slower pace than she’d left it, but she stopped when she got past the corner of Jamie’s house. Cocking her head, she frowned at the sidewalk. A rhythmic thunking sound floated from the back of the house.

  “What in the world?” she muttered.

  Hoping she wasn’t sneaking up on the other owner’s side of the yard, she tiptoed down the stone walkway and put her eye to the space between the privacy fence and the gate. It took her a moment to locate the source of the sound, but she finally spotted Jamie at the back of the property, wielding some sort of tool.

  Tessa eased open the gate, then stood straight and frowned. “What are you doing?”

  Jamie jerked to the side with a pickax poised above his head. “Oh, Jesus. It’s you.”

  “Who did you think it was?”

  He raised a sardonic eyebrow. “Someone walking through the gate of my yard without invitation?”

  “Ha! Silly.”

  Jamie took off his gloves and wiped his forehead on the sleeve of his shirt. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

  “Sure.” She turned in a slow circle, taking in the transformation of his yard. “When did you have the yard landscaped?”

  “I’ve been working on it for a while. I started it last fall.”

  “You did this?”

  He shrugged and walked to the deck to grab a bottle of water.

  Wait a minute… “You’ve got a deck? But I was here… When was that? In January?”

  “Yes, I cleverly hid my activities beneath a thick blanket of snow, but you’ve found me out now. Want some coffee?”