Candlelight City

by Jessica Tang Von Harper

  She’d been to a concert the year before with Emma, to see Anna Saint bang on her piano. The crowd had gone crazy for Anna, but Suzie had just stood there, feeling awkward, waiting for a moment of musical energy that would fill her with the same ecstasy that invigorated the rest of the audience. Yet it never seemed to come. Now, as Juan Sebastian launched into his second song, another hit from a different album, Suzie felt a fatuous joy at the familiar lyrics, and she turned towards Brad and laughed merrily, her body already moving to the rhythm. Why was it so easy to let go this time? She laughed again, because it was an easy question to answer. The whole evening had been about letting go. When so many had already seen her naked, how could she possibly be embarrassed if they saw her dancing like a fool to Juan Sebastian Diego?

  A trickle of sweat went down her stomach, and Suzie pressed her palm against her midriff, feeling her stomach muscles flex as she danced. She was intoxicated with a feeling of freedom, as if she could do whatever she pleased without consequences, and when the next song began, she pushed her hand between her legs and started to finger herself to the rhythm. She perched one foot on a chair and thrust her pelvis forward, opening her legs wide. It would have been quite a lewd display if any of the men below were paying attention to her, but they were all focused on the stage now. The fact that she was naked and playing with herself and no one had noticed contributed to her feeling of reckless freedom.

  Suzie moaned as she tried to time her masturbation so that she would climax at the same moment that Juan Sebastian reached the final chorus of the song. The guitar solo wailed and Suzie felt like she was teetering on a precipice, urging herself towards the edge and the inevitable plunge. When Juan Sebastian burst in with the final chorus, Suzie felt like the music exploded in her, and her body shook with an astonishing orgasm. Her cries of pleasure mingled with the cheers of the audience. She looked towards the stage, and it appeared that Juan Sebastian was looking right at her. Suzie could hardly believe that the famous singer Juan Sebastian Diego was watching her naked body quake in the throes of an orgasm. It was so surreal.

  The concert went by in a blur. Towards the middle, Juan Sebastian pulled out an acoustic guitar and played some slow ballads. Suzie settled onto Brad’s lap and his hands wandered over her sweaty body while they listened. She could feel his erection pressing against her ass as she squirmed in his lap. When the song changed, she turned around so she was facing him, and they kissed through the next song. Brad pressed kisses against her mouth, her neck, her breasts. He sucked and nibbled on her hard nipples while she gasped in delight.

  The fast songs started again, and Suzie was back on her feet, dancing frenetically. Naturally, the singer had saved his best songs for last, and they came one after the other. Suzie screamed herself hoarse. Before Juan Sebastian started his final song, he leaned into the microphone and said, “This last one goes out to the naked girl in the balcony. She seemed to have a really good time tonight.” The soldiers all looked towards her and cheered. Suzie thought she was going to faint; it was all she could do to manage a weak wave to everyone. The song began and she danced with abandon.

  After the singing was over and the lights came back on, Brad and Suzie stumbled out the door and back onto the Riverwalk. It was surprisingly quiet, with only a few walkers still meandering between the closing stores. Brad explained it: “All the air force guys went out the doors on the other side. They’ve got buses waiting to take them back to the base.” It was strange, to go from the chaotic crowds inside the Lafay Palace to the quiet emptiness outside.

  They made their way to the main path through the Riverwalk. Suzie noticed a middle-aged couple strolling to their left, and felt anxious when she recognized them as Mr. and Mrs. Myerson, friends of her parents. She dreaded what the older couple would think when they noticed her. It was inevitable that they would; Brad was leading her on a route such that her path would cross right in front of the Myersons. Suzie kept her face looking to the side, away from the Myersons, as she and Brad merged onto the path just in front of the couple. She heard them muttering to each other but couldn’t tell whether they had recognized her or whether they were just commenting on the oddity of having a naked girl suddenly appear in their line of sight. She bit her lip, imagining the view she presented, her naked ass bobbing right in front of them.

  A cool night wind blew off the Vitapatay River, fluttering Suzie’s dark hair and playing across her body. She shivered, glancing in envy at Brad’s sweater. He noticed her look.

  “Are you cold?” he asked.

  “A little.”

  “I like the way your body looks when you’re cold.” He reached out and touched her hard left nipple. “So tight and smooth. You look fierce, in a way.”

  “Thanks.” Suzie shivered again.

  “Here, I know something that will help. Stop for a minute.”

  Suzie stopped. She could hear the Myersons’ footsteps, closing in from behind. She carefully avoided looking in that direction.

  “Lie down on the ground,” Brad told her.

  Suzie’s heart beat fast. Her mind raced with the possibilities of what Brad might intend to do with her. She knelt and leaned backwards, catching herself with her hands. The ground was hard and cold against her bare ass. Despite the discomfort, she leaned backwards onto her elbows and stretched her legs out, her knees apart. She looked up at Brad, wondering if he intended to have sex with her right there.

  Brad pulled out his penis and Suzie’s stomach fluttered. She wondered what she would say to her parents when the Myersons revealed that they had seen her having sex in the middle of the Riverwalk. She was considering possible explanations when suddenly an arc of urine shot out of Brad’s penis and splashed onto her belly. She gaped up at Brad in astonishment as he sprayed her legs and crotch with hot piss. He aimed the spray at her vagina and Suzie moaned as the hot liquid beat against her clitoris. She moved her hand between her legs, playing with herself as her fingers were coated in urine.

  Suzie abruptly remembered the Myersons, and she sat up quickly, glancing in their direction without thinking. For a split second, she saw their faces looking down at her, and then Brad moved his stream up and Suzie had to squeeze her eyes shut as her hair and face were covered in pee. She sat and waited silently while Brad emptied his bladder on her upturned face. Her only action was to lift up her breasts so they would be sure to be covered in his warm piss.

  Finally, Brad was done. Suzie opened her eyes and looked helplessly up at the Myersons, urine dripping off her wet hair. They were right above her, staring down at her. Mrs. Myerson’s lips were curled in disgusted condemnation, and Mr. Myerson stared at her body intently, yet she didn’t see any recognition in either of their faces. Neither of them realized this was Suzie Moore they were seeing. Suzie supposed they just couldn’t connect Mr. Moore’s sweet young daughter with this naked tramp getting pissed on in public. Even though they had a clear view of her face, they just couldn’t bring themselves to recognize her.

  “Do you feel warmer now?” Brad asked Suzie as she scrambled to her feet. Steam rose from her naked skin. She realized that she no longer felt cold at all. Even as the heat of the urine dissipated, her heart beat fast and she felt invigorated with adrenaline. The cold was nothing to her now.

  She walked beside Brad for a while, her skin shining and slick with his urine. They reached the part of the Riverwalk where it widened to a courtyard, and Fuller’s famous fountain sprayed arcs of water over a view of the river. “I’ll go rinse off,” she told Brad, and walked towards the fountain. She climbed over the edge, dropping into the pool of water that came up to her knees. The water was cold but she barely felt it. She walked over to one of the spray nozzles and stood in front of it, letting the pressurized jet of water thunder against her bare skin. She held her hands above her head, turning in a slow circle, letting the jet of water wash and massage her. Pennies and nickels caught against her toes as she rotated in place.

  Cold and wet but clean, Suzie clim
bed back out of the fountain. A misty drizzle of rain had started to fall, and she and Brad walked slowly through the nearly empty Riverwalk, holding hands. The mist refracted the white lights around the edge of the river, so it seemed as if they were walking through a blurry dreamland. Brad paused frequently, to gaze at her and to feel her body, as if he couldn’t quite believe she was real.

  They reached the food plaza. The white chairs and tables were all empty, wet and dripping with the falling rain. Brad lifted Suzie onto one of the tables then climbed up beside her. They sat next to each other, oblivious of the rain, kissing each other. Suzie let her legs fall open, and Brad stroked her vagina as they kissed.

  Suzie fumbled with Brad’s zipper and finally pulled his penis free. She climbed onto his lap, straddling him, lowering herself onto his throbbing erection. It felt so good as he entered her that she gasped. The whole evening had filled her with a need for this moment. She slowly rode up and down on him. He clutched her hips, urging her to increase her pace. His hand tangled in her hair as he pressed his mouth against hers. They made love furiously under the misty night sky.

  Brad finally climaxed inside her, but that only seemed to be the beginning of their sex. As they made their way back to the car, Suzie took every opportunity to pull Brad’s penis free and have sex with him. He fucked her against the wall by the entrance to the parking garage then fucked her again in the parking space next to his car. As they drove home, Suzie was bent over in his lap, sucking him, making him hard again.

  At Suzie’s house, their good night kiss became a tight embrace, clutching each other under the yellow porch light. Suzie pulled Brad’s erection free once again, clutching it in her small hand as they kissed, and then Brad turned her around and held her tight against him as he pushed into her asshole. They had no need even to move by then; Brad held Suzie against his chest, one hand on her wet breast and the other between her legs, his penis throbbing deep in her asshole, and just their closeness was intensely arousing to both of them. They stood together, eyes closed, completely still except for their synchronized breathing, for several minutes. Then Suzie gasped and began to quiver. Her muscles visibly tensed and released for a minute, and her eyelashes fluttered. She seemed to hang in the air as Brad took a step backwards, sliding out of her, a thin line of fluid the only evidence of the ejaculate he had just deposited inside her. He kissed her on the cheek as he zipped up.

  “Good night, Miss Stanford,” he breathed. “And congratulations.”

  Suzie watched Brad through the haze of rain as he walked to his car. She could hear Juan Sebastian Diego singing, as he had sung earlier in the night:

  “Every endless minute,

  beautiful eternity,

  I spend in your arms,

  you spend in my memory…”

  She heard it, as if her life had it’s own personal soundtrack. Brad started his car and drove into the night. Suzie stepped off the porch and stood in the rain, listening until even the faintest sound of his car had faded into the distance. She turned back to the house. As she unlocked the door, she knew what music would be playing through her headphones when she drifted to sleep that night.

  24. Opening Night

  Suzie stood alone on the empty stage. It was Saturday morning, and it would be a few hours still before the tech crew arrived to do the final set-up of the stage. She wasn’t expected until a few hours after that. But Suzie couldn’t help going in early. She couldn’t resist the urge to have a private communion with the empty theater and its ancient gods. She stood on the stage and sensed the actors and actresses who had stood up there before her, and the plays they’d performed, and the audiences who had sat out there in the empty seats. She thought about all the women who had been in performances of “Candlelight City” before her, all the women who had given Jenna Algood life.

  “Guess we had the same idea.” Brad’s voice came from behind her. She heard his steps creaking on the stage, and then he was beside her, looking out at the empty seats.

  “Do you always come in early on opening night?” she asked.

  “Pretty much. It’s hard to think about anything else.” He glanced at her. “Are you all right?”

  “A little nervous.”

  “It’s natural. I feel nervous, too. Everyone does, before the first performance. But you’ll be surprised how quickly it goes away, once the show starts.”

  “I hope so.” She sighed. “I know my lines. We’ve gone through it so many times that I think I could do it while I was sleeping. But what I worry about…” She looked at her feet.

  “What is it?”

  She spoke honestly. “I worry that the lights will go on, the curtain will open, I’ll be standing out there… and I’ll be the old Suzie Moore. The Suzie I was before all this, the one who read books and didn’t do much else. I worry that the last few months will seem like a dream, and suddenly I’m awake and back to the way I was. Shy and terrified and up in front of the whole school.”

  “That won’t happen.” Brad took her hand and squeezed it. “You haven’t really changed, Suzie. This is the way you’ve always been. In the theatre, we talk about putting on someone else for a while, being someone else. But a big part of that is letting yourself compare that other person to yourself, and finding out the shades of them that exist in you. You’ve always had some of Jenna Algood in you, Suzie. You’ve just never had the chance to realize it until you got the opportunity to be her.”

  Suzie considered his words. She thought about her senior year, and how it changed so much once she was cast in “Candlelight City”. What if she’d been cast as a junior instead of a senior? Would her entire senior year have been different? It wasn’t an easy question to answer, and she knew she would spend time considering it in the weeks to come.

  “What about you?” she asked.

  “Me?”

  “Did you learn anything about yourself, rehearsing as Elias? Did you discover any parts of him in yourself?”

  Brad mulled the question for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, I did. Before this play… I felt like love was something I could control. Kind of like a path I just had to follow. I dated Corine, and she fit the girlfriend list I had in my mind. Pretty. Smart. A theatre girl. She checked off everything on the list, and I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happier with her. Being Elias and trying to understand his love for Jenna… it made me realize that sometimes the love you want isn’t on the easy path. Sometimes it’s off in the wilds, where the path doesn’t go. It draws you off the path, but you still have to be bold enough to go after it…” He grinned at Suzie. “It’s a little hard to explain. It sounds like a contradiction, saying that a guy can feel helpless and bold at the same time. But that’s how it is when Elias falls for Jenna. And I felt the same when I fell for you.”

  Suzie smiled as she gazed at the empty auditorium. In just a few hours, she was going to be naked on that stage in front of hundreds of people. In that context, the idea of being helpless and being bold at the same time made a lot of sense to her.

  A voice came from stage left. “Ah, our Elias and Jenna. Here I thought I’d be the first one here.” It was Josh Bergstrom, who was the student leader of the tech crew. He was an intelligent boy with short curly hair and black glasses that made his eyes look big. He came up onto the stage to stand with them.

  “Opening night. You ready?” he asked Suzie.

  “As ready as I can be, I guess,” she said.

  He sensed her nervousness, but waved it away as insignificant. “You’ll do fine,” he assured her. He scowled at the stage. “I don’t know why you actors have any nerves at all. If you can’t remember a line, all you have to do is make up a new one, and the scene goes on. But if anything goes wrong with the stage, it’s me hanging from the ceiling with a screwdriver, trying to fix a light without getting electrocuted… or worse, getting noticed by the audience.”

  “But nothing will go wrong with the stage, will it?” Suzie asked.

  “Well, that’s why I’m her
e, I guess. To check everything for the fourth and fifth time.” Josh was already scanning the ropes above the stage. “Hey… I don’t say this to make you more nervous… but I’ve heard we’re going to get a pretty good audience tonight. Belfast is adding chairs in the left aisle, and two rows in the back. Apparently, we’re almost sold out, just from presales.”

  Suzie didn’t know what to make of that, but Brad looked amazed. “Just from presales?” He sounded like he could hardly believe it.

  “Yup,” replied Josh. “Well, the publicity stunts you guys did really seemed to generate a lot of interest in the show.”

  “Publicity stunts?” Suzie was confused.

  “Yeah,” said Josh. “Jenna walking up and down the Riverwalk naked last weekend… Jenna naked and having sex in the lobby of the movie theater… that day where you walked through the school naked, as Jenna, and fucked Walt on the front steps. I even heard someone spotted you naked and dancing as Jenna on the side of the freeway?” He glanced at her for confirmation on this last one, and her red face gave a clear affirmation. He continued, “A lot of people wondered what it was all about, and when they heard it was for the show, they all bought tickets.” He waved at the auditorium. “Packed house. You think you can handle it?”

  Suzie hesitated. Josh laughed and answered for her. “Of course you can!” He patted her on the shoulder. “Come on. Let’s walk to the Pancake Shack and I’ll buy you guys some waffles. We’ve got some time to kill before these curtains open.”

  The Pancake Shack was two blocks away from the school. Suzie sat with Brad and Josh in a booth, and they had a leisurely brunch, talking and laughing as they ate platefuls of waffles, pancakes and scrambled eggs. Josh and Brad had both been involved in the theater from the time they were freshmen, this was their last show together and they were feeling nostalgic. They took turns, reminiscing about shows from years past. For Suzie, it was her first show, and it would also be her last. She felt some regret that she hadn’t involved herself in the theater earlier, and had missed out on the experiences Josh and Brad shared. But she filled the role as audience for their anecdotes, and they kept her laughing as they told her outrageous stories from the past, stories of catastrophe on the stage averted by quick-thinking and ingenuity, and performances where Murphy’s law seemed to be sitting in the front row yet everything magically worked out in the end.