Good Nerd Hunting

by Kaila Glass

  “These brownies are the only way we do well in school, anyway,” added Jamie Tru. “With all the work they dump on us, this is the only reason we don’t lose our minds. That’s why half the school’s on drugs, too, it’s how we cope.”

  Blake turned to Julio. “But aren’t you vegan, Watchdog? You can’t eat chocolate, right?”

  “They’re vegan, so I’m good,” he answered with a thumbs-up. “Now quit with your excuses and have a brownie!”

  Blake, all out of things to say, shrugged and took a brownie from the plate. It was warm and moist, and the chocolate melted on his tongue.

  “Peer pressure’s a bitch, ain’t it?” Izzy laughed.

  * * *

  Blake held up his hands and stared at them. “You guys…” He turned them over, examining his pale skin. “My hands are huge.”

  “You’re only just now noticing that?” said Julio. He laid on his back on the floor holding his bare feet to his face, probing them with his bloodshot eyes. “I have big feet. Gotta make up for my height somehow.”

  “CEO,” Izzy gushed from the sofa, her palms on her cheeks, “your dimples are adorable!”

  Jamie Tru, who sat next to her, blushed. “Aww, thanks Wild Card.”

  Izzy’s hands flew to Jamie Tru’s face. “Give them to me!”

  Jamie Tru grabbed Izzy’s wrists. “No, they’re mine!”

  “But they would look better on me.”

  “That’s not fair, I had them first.”

  “Wild Card,” said Quen from the other end of the couch. “Did you know you can grow your own dimples?”

  “No shit?” she answered.

  “Cross my heart and hope to die a virgin.” He leaned forward, grabbed a handful of Doritos, and shoved them into his mouth.

  Julio guffawed on the floor, waving his bare feet. Then, out of nowhere, he became silent, motionless. “What’s so funny?”

  Izzy crawled across the sofa, knocking Blake off. He collided with Rodney, who sat cross-legged at the end of the coffee table, staring into space; they tumbled onto their sides.

  Izzy grabbed Quen by the collar. “How do I grow dimples? Tell me and I won’t kill you.” She pressed a plastic knife into his neck.

  “I thought I was your friend?” Quen managed, bits of Doritos falling from his full mouth.

  “Everyone just calm down,” said Jamie Tru, sitting up, his eyes red and half-lidded. “We’re supposed to be family, remember?” He pointed to Izzy. “Wild Card, put down the knife.”

  “And if I don’t?” she said, pushing the plastic cutlery deeper into Quen’s flesh.

  “Then I’ll call the cops and we’ll all get in trouble. Is that what you want? You want us to do time in juvie and kill everyone’s buzz?”

  Izzy rolled her red eyes and let go of Quen. Blake groaned, his head in his hands. She lept from the sofa and kneeled at Blake’s side. “What’s wrong, you having a bad trip? Ooh, I’ve never had one of those before! Tell me what it’s like. Do you see demons, or your worst nightmare? Do you feel like your head’s gonna explode or—”

  “My family is shit,” Blake interrupted, raising his head from his hands.

  Izzy cocked her head, squinting. “What?”

  Blake pulled himself into a sitting position and reached for another brownie. “All my parents ever do is fight. My dad thinks my mom cheated. My baby sister might be my half-sister. If CEO is right and Nerds, Inc. is supposed to be a family, then it’s way better than mine will ever be.” He shoved the whole brownie in his mouth.

  “Holy shit,” said Rodney, sitting up. “Tell us more: this is good TV.”

  Blake swallowed. “They’re getting a divorce, I just know it.”

  “Divorce isn’t all bad,” said Izzy with a shrug. “If my mom didn’t ignore me and my dad was around, our Friday nights would be boring as hell.”

  “My dad’s a tyrant,” said Quen from the couch. “Life’s easier when he ignores me.”

  “I see my parents once a month if I’m lucky,” said Jamie Tru.

  “My home life is pretty normal,” said Rodney. “This is awkward.”

  “No,” Julio interjected. “No more sad stories about our miserable-ass childhoods. You’re gonna make me come down from my high.”

  “Yeah, let’s play some throwbacks,” said Jamie Tru. “Who wants to play Left 4 Dead?”

  “Nobody touch the witch. She’s mine!” Izzy exclaimed.

  “It’s your funeral, Wild Card,” Quen chuckled.

  “Yeah,” Julio agreed, “and I’m not going. You’ll probably come back from the dead and eat all the food.”

  What’s this feeling? Blake thought as he patted his stomach. It’s kinda heavy.

  He grabbed a controller and sat with his friends on the sofa, a brownie in his mouth. With every chuckle, every headshot, and every fuzzy feeling that tickled his skin, the strange feeling was pushed down. In swallowing his brownie in one gulp, he forced the strange feeling down so far that he was confident it had disappeared.

  18

  Kami

  Phoenix ignored the glares of his male classmates as he walked down the hallway. As in Rosewood, none of them liked what he was doing, but no one possessed the courage to confront him. There was the option of alerting teachers or parents, but most teens would rather die than accept help from an adult. Glares and scowls, it was all they could muster. They endured his conquest of Seven Hills in silence for months, his list of clients growing every day. Phoenix almost pitied them.

  Walking in the opposite direction was a girl from his AP World History class. When their eyes met, she grinned; then, her hand flew to her mouth. Phoenix ran one hand through his hair and held up five fingers with the other. She passed him, nodding, and continued in the opposite direction.

  “Hey, Kami!”

  Fang and Robbie jogged up to him.

  “Quit calling me that,” Phoenix countered.

  “Well, you won’t let us call you God,” said Robbie, “so, what else are we supposed to call you?”

  “My goddamn name.”

  “But you smashed all the hottest girls in school and the semester’s only halfway through!” said Fang, raising his arms.

  “And did you see the look on that girl’s face?” added Robbie. “She was smiling so hard, she had to cover her face!”

  “Face it, Phoenix: you’re a god. Why can’t you just accept that?”

  Phoenix sighed. “Fine, I’m a god. Happy? Now, why are you two bothering me? We don’t have Music Performance today.”

  “The Phoenix Kings just booked their first gig!” said Robbie, punching Phoenix’s shoulder.

  Phoenix smiled. “No way.”

  “Yes way!” said Fang. “Luke Lexington is hosting his annual Halloween bash in a few weeks and we convinced him to let us play.”

  Phoenix high-fived his bandmates. “Good job guys.”

  “Now we just have to decide on costumes,” said Robbie.

  Phoenix’s smile dissolved. “No, no costumes.”

  “But we have to.”

  “Yeah, it’s Halloween,” added Fang. “What are we supposed to do, show up in our regular clothes?”

  Phoenix shook his head. “Doesn’t matter what you say. You’re not getting me on stage dressed like a jackass.”

  “We won’t,” Fang and Robbie said in unison. “Promise.”

  Phoenix rolled his eyes. “What do you have in mind?”

  “We haven’t decided yet,” said Fang, “but we’ll figure it out before the week is over.”

  “Or by lunch time, at the earliest,” said Robbie. He elbowed Fang. “Hey, we better hurry or we’ll be late for Chemistry.”

  Fang checked his wristwatch. “Yeah, you’re right. See ya, Kami!”

  “Yeah, later Kami!”

  The pair left before Phoenix could get another word in.

  * * *

  “Halloween is in just a few weeks,” announced Jamie Tru from the head of Nerds, Inc.’s table at lunch, “which means we need
to start planning now. Every clique in school has a costume theme for Halloween and if we don’t choose one, we’ll look like total losers. I think we should go as monsters this year.”

  “No way,” said Julio. “Everyone else is gonna come to school dressed as monsters, too. We won’t stand out.”

  “We will,” assured Jamie Tru. “My parents are hiring a team of makeup artists that have worked on, like, a million horror movies, and it’s just for us. They’ll turn us into the best monsters Mirallegra’s ever seen!”

  The members of Nerds, Inc. shared excited looks.

  Quen cleared his throat. “All in favor of dressing as monsters for Halloween?” Everyone’s hand went up. “All opposed?” No one moved. “Monsters it is.”

  “I wanna be Frankenstein’s monster,” said Jamie Tru. “I’m gonna look so fuckin’ cool this year.”

  “Then I’ll be Frankenstein!” said Rodney.

  “Victor Frankenstein was human, dumbass,” said Julio.

  “But he abandoned his own creation. I think deadbeats count as monsters, too, don’t you think?”

  Julio shrugged. “It’s a stretch, but I’ll allow it.”

  Izzy hopped up and down in her seat, her arm waving high above her head. “Ooh, ooh, I call dibs on zombie Michael Jackson!” said Izzy. “Every time I get a compliment on my costume, I’ll do a spin kick!”

  “I’m gonna be an undead soccer player,” said Julio. “I’ll keep playing soccer, even in death. What about you two?” he asked Blake and Quen.

  “I don’t know,” Quen admitted. “It looks like you guys have all the best monsters already.”

  “We could be vampires,” Blake suggested.

  “You need to be more creative than that,” said Jamie Tru. “Like, I’m not just a zombie. I’m a superhuman zombie.”

  “And I’m not just a zombie, either,” said Izzy. “I’m also an undead child molester.”

  “Well…” Quen began. “I’ve always wanted to go as a wizard. Maybe we could combine wizards with monsters?”

  “We can go as wizards who’ve been bitten by vampires!” said Blake.

  Quen smiled. “That’s a great idea.”

  “You two need to dress in different house colors, so you’re at least a little different,” instructed Jamie Tru.

  “Just don’t embarrass Nerds, Inc. by coming to school in a yellow scarf, okay?” said Julio.

  “Then it’s settled,” said Jamie Tru. “We’ll have a sleepover at HQ on the thirtieth. We’ll get up early so the makeup artists can work their magic. Let’s be the best monsters in school!”

  While the members of Nerds, Inc. roared their approval, Blake turned his attention to the curly-haired blonde at the other side of the cafeteria. He smiled when he saw the light bounce off her braces.

  “MacKenzie Powell again?” Julio complained. “You stalk her every lunch period. When are you gonna ask her out already?”

  Blake felt his face burn and looked away.

  “Why don’t you ask her to trick-or-treat with us?” Quen asked.

  “Trick-or-treating? Aren’t we too old for that?”

  “Poor, naive Blake,” said Izzy, wrapping her arm around his neck. “You’re never too old for free shit!”

  “I don’t know…”

  Julio pounded his fists on the table, causing Blake to jump. “You know what? I’m sick of you!” A mischievous smile spread across his face, his piercing grey eyes boring into Blake’s. “I say we make this interesting. Ask her out right now and we won’t throw you out of Nerds Inc.”

  “W-what?” Blake stammered.

  “Julio, relax,” said Quen. “There’s no need for—”

  “That’s a great idea,” said Jamie Tru.

  “Yeah, it’s perfect,” Rodney chimed in. “Let’s help Blake overcome his fear by making him!”

  “Quen, call for a vote,” Jamie Tru instructed. When they did, all but Quen and Blake objected.

  Blake stood up, his whole body shaking.

  “Don’t pussy out or you won’t have any friends when you come back, ok?” Izzy called out from behind him.

  Halfway there, he looked back, hoping to see his friends signal for him to return. Instead, they each gave him two thumbs up. When he reached MacKenzie’s table, she was laughing with her friends, her braces shining in the light.

  “Oh, hi Blake!” she said when she noticed him standing in front of her.

  Blake shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Uh… MacKenzie. I was wondering… me and my friends are going trick-or-treating on Halloween, y’know?”

  “Trick-or-treating?” asked one of MacKenzie’s friends. “What are you, five?” She and the others burst out laughing. MacKenzie, however, gave her friends a silent, disapproving look.

  “You’re never too old for free shit, right?” said Blake.

  Though her friends rolled their eyes, MacKenzie smiled. “Fair enough.”

  Blake straightened his back and cleared his throat. “So… do you wanna go with us?”

  “Sure.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, it sounds fun.”

  Blake nodded. “Okay.”

  “So?” Julio asked when Blake returned to his clique’s table.

  “I can’t believe it. She said yes!”

  His friends cheered. Rodney whooped his approval. Izzy stood and pulled Blake into a bear hug.

  “I knew you could do it!” she said.

  Blake grinned without a word as Izzy crushed his ribs.

  * * *

  Phoenix sat at an empty table in the cafeteria hunched over his music, a pencil in one hand and a half-eaten sandwich in the other. As he drew in a few accidentals, a pair of shadows cast over him and his work. He looked up. “You figured out what we’re wearing?”

  Fang and Robbie nodded in unison. Then, they spoke at the same time but said different things. Fang said, “Survey Corps,” while Robbie said, “Scout Regiment.” Phoenix stared at the pair.

  “In the anime, they’re called the Scout Regiment,” Robbie explained.

  “Well, in the manga, they’re the Survey Corps,” Fang countered, “and since the anime is based off the manga, we should call them by their original name.”

  “Uh, if our generation doesn’t read, what makes you think we read manga?”

  Fang shrugged. “Why not? It’s mostly pictures anyway. Manga’s like picture books for teens.”

  “But if we call ourselves the Survey Corps for the Halloween bash, no one will know who the hell we are!”

  “Can we at least agree that they wear the Wings of Freedom?” Phoenix interrupted.

  Fang and Robbie shared a look, shrugged, and turned to their band leader. “Fair enough.”

  “Great,” said Phoenix. “We’re not going as them.”

  “Aww, c’mon!” said Fang. “You don’t wanna be a kickass, titan-fighting soldier for Halloween? You don’t think that’s cool?”

  Phoenix shook his head. “No. There’s no way you’re gonna parade me around like a jackass in boots.”

  “You’re not gonna look like a jackass,” Robbie assured. He withdrew his smartphone from his pocket and gave it to Phoenix. On the phone’s screen was a picture of an Attack on Titan costume, complete with tall, dark boots, white pants, and a short, brown jacket with long sleeves and a pair of folded wings, one white and one blue, printed on the back.

  “Not bad,” said Phoenix, handing the phone back to Robbie.

  “So?” asked Fang and Robbie together.

  Phoenix rolled his eyes. “Okay, we can go as the Scout Regiment—”

  “Survey Corps!” Fang interrupted.

  “Whatever. We can go as them as long as our costumes are as genuine as those. And it’s not like I have any better ideas, anyway.”

  Fang and Robbie high-fived. Then, Robbie withdrew a tape measure from his bookbag. “We need to take your measurements, so we order the right size.” Without another word, Robbie walked around the table and wrapped the tape
measure around Phoenix’s right bicep.

  Fang reached into his bag, produced a sheet of paper, and placed it on the table. “This is the list of songs that Luke wants us to play.”

  Phoenix ran over the list. “This guy has awful taste in music. Good thing we’re getting paid.”

  “Me and Robbie never got to play a gig this big,” said Fang. “I’m so excited!”

  “How come? You’ve been a duo for years, right?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “’Course not. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be asking.”

  “It’s you, Kami! If you play at this party, all the girls at school are guaranteed to show. That’s what we told Luke and that’s why he’s paying us three grand to play his favorite songs.”

  Phoenix rubbed his chin. “Clever.”

  When Robbie finished taking Phoenix’s measurements, he and Fang packed their bags.

  “We’re gonna go order our costumes,” said Robbie. “See ya!”

  Phoenix watched them go.

  This year’s a lot shorter than I thought it was gonna be, he thought.

  19

  Halloween

  Halloween arrived faster than Blake had anticipated. On the thirty-first of October, he found the entire student body clad in costumes. Half the time, he felt as though he were attending Comicon instead of Seven Hills the way students dressed as superheroes and cartoon characters.

  His costume was the best he’d ever worn. The makeup artist that Jamie Tru had appointed to him that morning transformed him into a true Hogwarts vampire. She’d managed to make him paler than usual, causing his light blue eyes to stand out even more. He had two small puncture marks at the side of his neck, and fake blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. He wore a striped scarlet and gold scarf on his shoulders and his father’s old eight-grade graduation robes over his school uniform.

  Before meeting Nerds, Inc. in the cafeteria, Blake stopped by his locker to drop off some books. He was stowing away his math book when he heard her soft voice.

  “Hi, Blake.”

  He looked around the door and saw Effie Rousseau right behind it dressed in a golden gown. Her brown hair cascaded down her bare shoulders.