The Many Worlds of Magnus Ridolph

by Jack Vance

  "I've heard of it - somewhere in Argo."

  "I have never visited Archaemandryx myself," said Magnus Ridolph. "However, a friend describes it as peculiar in many respects. It is a world of metals - mountain ranges of metallic silicon - "

  "Cut the guff," snapped Mellish. "Get on with it!"

  Magnus Ridolph sighed reproachfully. "Among the types of life native to this planet are the near-gaseous creatures which you call ghosts. They live in colonies, each centered on a nucleus. The nucleus serves as the energizer for the colony. The ghosts bring it fuel, it broadcasts energy on a convenient wavelength. The fuel is uranium and any uranium compound is eagerly conveyed to the nucleus.

  "My friend thought to see commercial possibilities in this property - namely the looting of the Starport Bank. He accordingly brought a colony to New Acquitain, where he daubed a number of hundred-Munit notes with an aromatic uranium compound, deposited them at the bank. Then he opened the box and merely waited till the ghosts returned with millions in uranium-permeated banknotes.

  "I chanced to be nearby when he was apprehended. In fact" - and Magnus Ridolph smoothed the front of his blue and white nightshirt - "I played a small part in the event. However, when the authorities thought to ask how he had perpetrated the theft the entire colony had disappeared."

  Mellish nodded appreciatively. "I see. You just got the king to daub everything he owned with uranium and then let the things loose."

  "Correct."

  Mellish blew out a plume of smoke. "Now I want directions to get to the lode."

  Magnus Ridolph shook his head. "That information will be given to you only when I have deposited your check."

  Mellish grinned wolfishly. "You'll tell me alive - on I'll find out from Kanditter tomorrow with you dead. You have ten seconds to make up your mind."

  Magnus Ridolph raised his eyebrows. "Murder?" He glanced at Tomko, who stood with beaded forehead holding the nuclear pistol.

  "Call it that," said Mellish. "Eight - nine - ten! Are you going to talk?"

  "I can hardly see my way clear to - "

  Mellish looked at Tomko. "Shoot him."

  Tomko's teeth chattered; his hand shook like a twig in a strong wind.

  "Shoot him!" barked Mellish.

  Tomko squeezed shut his eyes, pulled the trigger. Click!

  "Perhaps I should have mentioned," said Magnus Ridolph, "that among the first of the loot my ghosts brought me was the ammunition of your pistol which as you know is uranium." He produced his own heat-gun. "Now, goodnight, gentlemen. It is late and tomorrow will be more convenient for levying the fifty-thousand munit fine your offenses call for."

  "What offenses?" blustered Mellish. "You can't prove a thing."

  "Disturbing the rest of the King of Thieves is a serious crime," Magnus Ridolph assured him. "However, if you wish to escape, the trail overland back to Gollabolla begins at the end of this lane. You would not be pursued."

  "You're crazy. Why, we'd die in the jungle."

  "Suit yourself," was Magnus Ridolph's equable reply. In any event, good night."

  THE SPA OF THE STARS

  JOE BLAINE sat, limp as a pillow, in his swivel chair, chewing morbidly at a dead cigar. The desk supported his feet. He stroked his pink jowl with a hand that was all flesh and no bone. His mood was one of gloom.

  Many extremes had enlivened Joe Blaine's life: triumphs, failures, vicissitudes of many sorts. But never such an abysmal piece of cheese as the Spa of the Stars.

  Outside, the white sun Eta Pisces shone with a tingling radiance on a landscape sparkling white, blue and green. ("Enjoy the zestful light of the Cluster's healthiest sun in surroundings of inexpressible beauty" - excerpt from the Spa's brochure.)

  A lazy sea folded surf along a beach of pure sand behind which a wall of jungle rose four hundred feet, steep as a cliff. ("Vacation at the edge of unexplored jungle mysteries," read the brochure, and the illustration showed a lovely nude woman with apple-green skin standing under a tree blazing with red and black flowers.)

  A big hotel, miles of beach, a hundred orange and green cabanas, an open-air dance pavilion, a theater, tennis courts, sail boats, an arcade of expensive shops, a race-track with grandstand and stables - this was the Spa of the Stars just as Joe Blaine had conceived it. Nothing was lacking but the nude green woman. If Joe Blaine had known where to get one, she'd have been there too.

  There was another discrepancy. Joe had envisioned the lobby full of stylish women, the beach covered with bronze flesh. In his mind's-eye he had seen the grandstand black with sportsmen, all anxious to dispute the wisdom of the odds he had set. Each of the seven bars - as he had pictured them - were lined three deep, with the bartenders sweating and complaining of overwork... Joe Blaine grunted and threw his cigar out the window.

  The door split back and Mayla, his secretary, entered. Her hair was bright as the sands of the beach; she had eyes blue as the sea before it toppled to surf. She was slender, flexible, and her flesh had the compelling, clutchable look of a marshmallow. She was a creature of instinct, rather than intellect, and this suited Joe Blaine very well. Crossing the room, she patted the pink spot on his scalp.

  "Cheer up, Joe, it can't be that bad."

  The words catalyzed Joe's smouldering dejection to an angry bray.

  "How could it be worse? You tell me... Ten million munits sunk into the place and three paying guests!"

  Mayla settled herself into a chair, thoughtfully puffed alight a cigarette.

  "Just wait till the noise of those accidents dies down... They'll be back like flies. After all, we got a lot of publicity-"

  "Publicity! Huh! Nine bathers killed by sea-beetles the first day. The gorilla-things dragging those girls into the jungle. Not to mention the flying snakes and the dragons-Lord, the dragons! And you talk about publicity!"

  Mayla pursed her lips. "Well - maybe you're right. I suppose it would look bad to somebody who didn't know the circumstances."

  "What circumstances?"

  "I mean about Kolama being a wild planet, and not explored or civilized."

  "You think, then," said Blaine with great earnestness, "that people don't mind being chewed up by horrible creatures so long as it's out on a wild planet?"

  She shook her head. "No, not that exactly - "

  "Good," said Joe. "I'm relieved."

  " - I just mean that maybe they'd make a few allowances."

  Blaine threw up his hands and sank back in an attitude of defeat. He reached for a new cigar and lit it.

  "Maybe," said Mayla after a short pause, "we could advertise it like a big game lodge, and people would come for excitement."

  He reproached her with a glance. "You ought to know that nobody hunts big game - or any kind of game - if there's a chance of them getting hurt. The odds are even out here; that'll keep away the jokers after cheap blood..."

  The telescreen buzzed. Joe turned impatiently. "Now what..." He snapped the switch. The screen glowed pink. "Long distance, looks like."

  "Starport calling Joe Blaine," came the operator's voice.

  "Speaking."

  On the screen appeared a narrow face - all eyes, nose and teeth, a face that was crafty and calculating, and yet possessed of a quality that women thought attractive. This was Blaine's partner, Lucky Woolrich.

  "Now what the devil do you want?" demanded Joe. "Do you know it costs eight munits a minute interplanet?"

  Lucky said curtly, "Just wanted to find out if you've got it licked."

  "Licked!" yelled Joe. "Are you crazy? I'm scared to set foot outside the hotel!"

  "We've got to do something," Woolrich told him. "Ten million munits is an awful swipe of scratch!"

  "We sure agree there."

  "I don't get it," said Lucky. "The place got built without accidents. Nothing bothered us until we started, to operate. Don't that seem fishy to you?"

  "Fishy as all get out. I can't figure it. I've tried."

  Lucky said, "Well, I called mainly to tell you I
'm coming on out. Ought to be there in four days or so. I'm bringing a trouble-shooter - "

  "We don't need a trouble-shooter," snapped Blaine. "We need a dragon-shooter and a water-beetle shooter and a flying-snake shooter. Lots of 'em."

  Lucky ignored the comment. "I've got the man to help us out if anyone can. He's highly recommended. Magnus Ridolph. A well-known genius. Invented the musical-kaleidoscope."

  "That's the ticket," said Blaine. "We'll dance 'em to death."

  "Lay off the comics, Joe!" rasped Lucky. "Eight munits a minute is cheap when we're talking business; for jokes it's extravagant."

  "I might as well have some fun for my money," said Blaine peevishly. "Ten million munits and every cent buying headaches."

  "See you in four days," said Lucky coldly. The screen went dull.

  Joe stood up, walked back and forth. Mayla watched with proud possessiveness. She, who could have had forty-nine out of any fifty men, thought Joe was the cutest thing she'd ever seen.

  A tall angular man in the red and blue uniform of the Spa came bounding into the office, knees raising as high as his chin with every step.

  "Well, Wilbur?" snapped Blaine.

  "Golly, Joe - you know that little old deaf lady? The cranky one?"

  "Of course I know her. I know every one of our three guests. What about her?"

  "One of them dragons just now came at her. Would have got her, too, if she hadn't ducked under a bench. Just swung down out of the sky, big as a house. Lordy, she's spittin' mad! Says she's gonna sue you, because the thing dove at her on hotel property."

  Joe Blaine pulled at his scant hair, turned his cigar up between clenched teeth. "Give me strength, give me strength.

  "How about a drink?" Mayla suggested.

  Wilbur concurred. "Mix one for me too."

  Seen in the flesh, Lucky was not as tall as he looked on the telescreen - hardly as tall as Joe, but thinner, neater. "Joe," he said, "meet Mr. Ridolph. He's the expert I was telling you about." Lucky waved an arm at the slight man with the distinguished white beard who had wandered abstractedly into the lobby, looking here and there, in all directions, like a child on a circus midway.

  Blaine took one look, eyed Lucky in disgust.

  "Expert? That old goat? On what?" he muttered. Aloud, with effusive cordiality: "How do you do, Mr. Ridolph? So glad you could come to help. We sure need an expert out here to figure out our problems."

  Magnus Ridolph shook hands fastidiously. "Yes," he said. "How do you do, Mr. Woolrich?"

  "I'm Woolrich," said Lucky briskly. "This is Mr. Blaine."

  "How do you do?" And Magnus Ridolph nodded, to assure them that he took the correction in good part. "You have a pleasant resort, very peaceful and quiet, just as I like it."

  Blaine rolled his eyes upwards. "It's not peaceful and I don't like it quiet."

  Lucky laughed, slapped Magnus Ridolph across his skinny shoulder blades. Magnus Ridolph turned, gave Lucky a cold stare.

  "Don't let him throw you, Joe," said Lucky. "That's just an act he puts on for the customers. He's as shrewd as they come."

  Joe eyed Magnus Ridolph like a housewife turning down a piece of meat at the butcher shop, then turned away and shook his head. He stiffened. A sudden grinding explosion of sound outside, a savage howling...

  Lucky and Joe exchanged glances and ran for the door. High in the sky, almost overhead, two tremendous shapes flapped and tore at each other with fangs like hay-hooks. Drifting down came a roaring and fierce yelling. Blaine reached out, took Magnus Ridolph's elbow.

  "There's thousands of 'em!" he yelled into Magnus Ridolph's ear. "Just waiting for somebody to set foot out on the beach. We got to get rid of them! Also the twenty-foot pincer-beetles that infest the ocean, and some half-ton gorillas that got a lot of human tendencies. Not to mention the flying snakes."

  "They certainly seem a ferocious set of creatures," said Magnus Ridolph mildly.

  The battle in the sky took a sudden lurch in their direction, and the three spectators jerked back involuntarily.

  "Shoo!" yelled Joe. "Get outa here!"

  A spatter of blood began to fall like rain. Talons ripped, yanked - brought a tooth-grinding screech. One of the forms toppled, started to fall with a tremendous slow majesty.

  Lucky gave a strangling cry. Joe yelled, "No, no, no - "

  End over end came the torn body, almost at their heads. It fell through the roof of the hotel, into the dining room. Glass sprayed a hundred feet in all directions. A convulsive flap of wings made further destruction. And now the victor swooped on vast leather pinions. It dropped hissing into the wreckage, began to tear at the flesh.

  Joe cried in wordless anguish. Lucky turned, ran to the desk, returned with a grenade rifle.

  "I'll show that overgrown lizard something." He sighted, pulled the trigger. Fragments of dragon and hotel spattered across the beach.

  There was a sudden heavy silence. Then Blaine said in a crushed voice, "This is it. We're through."

  -Magnus Ridolph cleared his throat mildly. "Perhaps the situation is not as bad as you think."

  "What's the use? We made a mistake. Kolama is just too tough. We might as well face it, take our loss."

  "Now, Joe," said Lucky, "brace up. Maybe it's not so bad after all. Mr. Ridolph thinks we got a chance."

  Joe snorted.

  "Couldn't you post guards in copters, and kill any that came down?" suggested Magnus Ridolph.

  Blaine shook his head. "They fly high, drop down like hawks. I've watched 'em. We couldn't keep 'em out. And one or two would be as bad for business as a hundred."

  Lucky pulled at his lip. "What I want to know is how come we never had trouble while the place was going up."

  Joe shook his head. "Beats me. Seems like when the Mollies were around, nothing ever bothered us. As soon as they took off our grief began."

  Magnus Ridolph glanced inquiringly at Lucky. "Mollies? And what are they?"

  "That's what Joe calls the natives," Lucky told him. "They helped us out while we were building."

  "Did the excavating," said Joe.

  "Possibly you could keep natives here and there around the property," suggested Magnus Ridolph.

  Blaine shook his head. "Nobody could stand the stink. It must be the stink that keeps the beasts away. God knows I don't blame 'em."

  Magnus Ridolph considered the theory. "Well, possibly, if the odor were extremely strong and pungent."

  "It's not anything else."

  Magnus Ridolph stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Just what sort of creatures are these - 'Mollies'?"

  "Well," said Joe, "think of a shrimp four feet tall, walking around on little stumpy legs. A sort of a fat gray shrimp with big stary eyes. That's a Molly for you."

  "Are they intelligent? Do you have any contact with them?"

  "Oh, I guess you'd call 'em intelligent. They live in big hives back in the jungle. Don't do any harm, and they helped us out quite a bit. We paid 'em in pots, pans, knives."

  "How did you communicate with them?"

  "They got a language of squeaks." Joe pursed up his lips. "Squeak - squick, squick." He cleared his throat. "That means 'come here.' "

  "Hm," said Magnus Ridolph. "And how do you say 'go away'?"

  "Squick - keek, keek."

  "Hm."

  "Squeak, keek, keek, keek - that means 'time to knock off for the day.' I learned that lingo pretty good."

  "And you say the wild beasts never bothered them?"

  "Nope. Only twice did anything even come near. Once a gorilla, once a dragon."

  "And then?"

  "They all stood still looking, as if asking themselves, now just what does this johnny think he's doing? And the gorilla and the dragon both turned 'round and took off " Toe shook his head. "Must have got a close whiff of them. Like skunk and sewage and half a dozen tannery vats. I had to wear a mask."

  Woolrich said, "We've got movies of everything, if you think there's anything to it."

  Magnus
Ridolph nodded gravely, "They might be useful. I'd like to see them."

  "This way," said Joe. He added glumly, "You can see them, but you can't smell them."

  "Just as well," said Lucky.

  The first scene showed virgin territory - the beach, the blue ocean, the sharp cliff of the jungle. On the beach sat the small prospect ship, and beside it stood Joe, self-consciously waving at the camera.

  The second scene showed the Mollies excavating foundations. They worked in a crouched position with heads extended, and the sand exploded out of the trench ahead of them. They were rather more manlike than Joe had described them - gray whiskered creatures with soft segmented bodies. They had bulging pink blind-looking eyes, horny bowed legs, a concave area around their mouths.

  Magnus Ridolph leaned forward. "They have a peculiar method of digging."

  "Yeah," said Blaine. "It's fast, though. They blow it out."

  Magnus Ridolph moved in his seat. "Run that again, please."

  With a tired sigh and a helpless glance at Lucky, Joe complied. Once again they watched the crouched natives, saw the sand broken loose, thrown up and out of the ditch as if by a strong jet of air.

  Magnus Ridolph sat back in his seat. "Interesting."

  The scene changed. The concrete slab had been poured. A dozen natives were carrying a length of timber.

  "Hear 'em talking? Listen..." And Joe turned the volume control. They heard rising and falling eddies of shrill noise.

  "Squeak - squeeeek!" came a peremptory sound.

  "That's me," said Joe, "telling them to look up and pose for the pictures."

  There was a general turning of the conical whiskered heads.

  "Keek, keek, keek," said the speaker.

  "That's 'back to work,' " said Blaine. A few minutes later: "Here's where the dragon goes after them... They saw it first. See? They're excited... Then I saw it." The view swept up in the sky, showed the bottle-shaped body circling down on wings that seemed to reach across the horizon. The picture jerked, quivered, blurred, and suddenly showed the scene from a crazy angle, the view obscured by blades of grass.

  "That's where I - put the camera down," said Joe. "listen to those Mollies..." And the speaker shrilled with the sound. It rose in pitch, high up through the scale, died.