Sweet Ultimatum

by Naima Simone

  “Bitch,” he sneered. “Yeah, go back to your date. Tell him I said, hello.” He stepped back and she seized advantage of the space, rushing past him. “Caitlin.” His voice halted her before she’d gone two steps. Keeping her back toward him, she closed her eyes, her breath suspended in her throat. A shudder jolted through her as his chest pressed against her back and his hand gripped her hip. “Remember this,” he crooned, his stiff erection nudging the cleft between her buttocks. “I had your pussy first. You might as well get it through your head now that what’s mine I always keep.” He squeezed her hip then his heat left her back. “Hello, Selig.”

  She jerked, opening her eyes and clashing with Selig’s amber stare. His blank expression revealed none of the fury smoldering in his eyes. Caitlin could imagine the intimate picture she and Nicholas presented, him touching her hip, whispering in her ear. A protest welled up in her throat, insisting it wasn’t how it appeared. To do so would confirm Nicholas’ suspicion that she and Selig were involved, speeding up the clock that ticked over Selig’s head.

  So she remained quiet.

  Nicholas’ soft laughter curdled her stomach. He circled around her, passing by Selig with a smug smirk.

  Tearing her eyes away from Selig proved impossible. It was Selig who, with a mocking dip of his head, pivoted on his heel and stalked away from her.

  * * * * *

  “Hello, Caitlin.”

  Caitlin glanced up, her eyes meeting Rachel Gordon’s in the restroom mirror. The gush of the running water reverberated in the empty bathroom, the sound seeming ten times louder to Caitlin’s ears. Reaching forward, she grasped the faucet, shutting the water off. The resulting silence was deafening.

  “Hello, Rachel,” Caitlin greeted, turning to pull a paper towel free. She couldn’t explain the discomfort. She wasn’t guilty of harming this quiet woman. Yet when she looked into the solemn gaze of Nicholas’s wife, she felt like the other woman meeting the scorned wife. “If you’ll excuse me,” she murmured, throwing the damp towel away and moving past her.

  “Please leave my husband alone.”

  Caitlin blinked, staring at Rachel, speechless.

  “I know you have a history with my husband,” the other woman continued. “You’re a beautiful woman who can have any man she chooses. My marriage with Nicholas isn’t—perfect, but before you returned to New Eden we were content.”

  “Rachel, I—”

  “No, please, let me finish.” Rachel held up a hand, interrupting Caitlin’s denial. “Since you’ve come back here I haven’t been able to hold the piece of him I had. If you’re in the same room, I don’t exist. I can’t hold my head up in public because everyone knows it’s you Nicholas wants, not me. I can’t compete with you.”

  “Rachel, I don’t want Nicholas. I haven’t in a very long time,” Caitlin pleaded with the woman to believe her. Rachel’s quiet dignity touched her. Pity for her misguided loyalty to that bastard, Nicholas, saddened her.

  A rueful smile curved Rachel’s lips. “Let’s not mince words, Caitlin. We both know the man I’m married to. Just as we both know what he does—and who he does it with. That being said, what you want doesn’t matter.” She paced forward, her gaze earnest and proud. “Caitlin, if I have any chance to save my marriage and free my husband of his obsession, you have to leave New Eden. I know you returned for your father, but he’s better now. You could leave without guilt and I could have my husband.”

  The weight of Rachel’s plea bore down on her shoulders. Caitlin understood more than Rachel could imagine the willingness to sacrifice and beg, if necessary, to save a relationship with the man you loved. Rachel’s marriage, though, wasn’t Caitlin’s battle to fight. Besides, leaving wouldn’t solve the problem of her marriage. Nicholas had warned Caitlin of that only moments earlier.

  “Rachel, if you know the man you’re married to like you claim then you also know my leaving would solve nothing for you. I’m sorry, Rachel, I can’t leave my father right now. I wish,” she made a sound of helplessness, holding her hands out, “I wish I could help you. I do.”

  The other woman inhaled a deep breath, her eyes fluttering closed before reopening to meet Caitlin’s. She met steady resolve instead of righteous indignation. Caitlin’s esteem for her rose another level.

  “Thank you for hearing me out.” She inclined her head then turned and exited the restroom.

  Caitlin turned back to the mirror, her head bowed low, hands flattened on the counter. Guilt. She should be well accustomed to its presence by now. She’d lived with it for years. Guilt over her cruel rejection of Selig. Guilt for his pain and disillusionment. And now, guilt for the future of another woman’s marriage, however unwarranted.

  She lifted her head and stared at the image of the woman reflected back at her.

  And tried hard not to hate her.

  Chapter Eleven

  The doorbell pealed, resounding through the small house.

  Caitlin waited at the door, having heard the car pull up. She didn’t need to glance at the clock to know the time, just as she didn’t have to see Selig to know he stood on the other side of the door. She’d been waiting for him the two hours since returning home from the restaurant. Squaring her shoulders, Caitlin turned the lock and twisted the knob. As if in slow motion, she swung the door open. Just as she’d known, Selig stood in the entrance.

  They stared at one another for a long silent moment. Caitlin studied Selig, taking in the white dress shirt, dark pants and inscrutable expression. His face revealed no emotion, yet tension emanated from his tall frame.

  “You don’t seem surprised to see me.” He tilted his head to the side, his tone conversational.

  “I’m not.” Caitlin stepped aside, allowing him entrance into her home.

  “I’m that predictable?” Selig entered, turning to face her as she closed the door behind him. “How boring.”

  “Selig…” Caitlin began, the words jumbling together in her head, fighting for dominance to be the first ones said. What did she say to him, though? How did she explain away being with Nicholas, clarify why. Nothing but the truth would appease Selig and that she couldn’t give him.

  “No, please. Wait.” He lifted a hand, cutting her off. “My turn. It wasn’t what it looked like and there’s nothing going on with you and Nicholas.” He arched an eyebrow, derision creeping into his tone. “How am I doing so far?”

  Caitlin glanced away. He was doing pretty damn good since he’d repeated her excuse verbatim. It sounded even lamer when he voiced it.

  “You know what? Let’s skip that question for a minute. I have another one that’s been eating at me for a few days now.” He crossed his arms over his chest and regarded her with cold disdain in his voice. “Exactly why did you leave New Eden?”

  Shock jolted her like an electrical current. She hadn’t seen that coming. Panic charged in hard on the heels of the surprise. She felt her eyes widen in alarm as her mind scrambled for a plausible answer—something other than the truth.

  “I had no reason to stay.” She hedged around the question, answering yet not answering.

  Selig pounced on the ploy. He shook his head, the corner of his lip curling.

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “I expected that too. The nonanswer. You’re so good at it.” He stalked closer, his deliberate steps eating up the small distance between them in seconds. “But not tonight, Caitlin. Tonight you’re going to answer at least one of my questions.”

  “Selig, I know how it appeared with Nicholas tonight…”

  “It appeared as if he would’ve been fucking you from behind if you’d been alone. It appeared as if you weren’t fighting him off,” he sneered, his arms uncrossing and dropping to his sides. “You’re really going to try to explain that to me? Or better yet, why don’t you call up his wife and try giving the details to her since she saw you with her husband too.”

  Damn, Caitlin turned away, understanding dawning in a sick rush. No wonder Rachel hadn’t believed her about not
wanting her husband. The lies were slithering around her throat and pulling tight. They slowly strangled her.

  “No matter what I say, you’re not going to believe me,” she stated, struggling to keep the hurt from her voice.

  “Believe you?” he snorted. “Hell, baby, belief requires trust. I give that to very few people and you are not one of them.”

  That hurt. Damn, but it hurt. Reason argued of course he would feel that way. He didn’t know the truth. Her heart shouted, fuck that. Had those few people sacrificed their lives to protect him? Had they placed themselves at the mercy of a monster so he remained safe? Yeah, fuck that. Selig didn’t know it, but he trusted her with his life.

  The ungrateful bastard.

  “Fine,” Caitlin snapped, nudging her chin up. Every emotion she’d experienced that night—fear, revulsion, guilt—coalesced into a simmering, volatile concoction that needed just a spark to set it off. “I’m a liar, untrustworthy and only good enough to fuck. Did I miss anything?”

  The light of battle entered Selig’s gaze. His eyes flickered down her body. Caitlin knew he couldn’t see anything under the light summer robe and yet she still felt insulted by his perusal.

  “Now there’s an interesting turn of phrase,” he drawled. “See, I’ve been contemplating why, after getting rid of me, you would leave your hometown for parts unknown. Only one reason came to mind.” Selig took a step closer, invading her personal space. Pure stubbornness kept her from backpedaling to escape his overwhelming presence and the speculation in his gaze.

  “If I was out of your life that would leave you open for someone else. I mean, really, what woman breaks up with one man unless she has another lined up? But what happens if that man is unavailable? If he refuses her because she’s been fucking a man he considers beneath him?” Selig skimmed down her body, taking in the light green thin robe that belted at her waist. His perusal lingered on the deep vee between her breasts where the lapels of the robe crossed. “Is that what happened, Caitlin? Did you drop me, the nobody, for New Eden’s darling son?” His amber speculation lifted to her face. “Did you bargain for marriage and discover because you’d dirtied yourself with me you were no longer marriage material, just good enough for a fuck?”

  There went the match.

  “Get. Out.” Caitlin bit off each word. Fury and anguish roared like a hungry beast, devouring common sense and caution. “Get the fuck out. And don’t come back.”

  “Did I hit a sore spot?” Selig wondered aloud. “The truth not only hurts, she’s a bitch, huh?”

  “What do you know about the truth?” Caitlin scoffed. “You come back here and you can’t see past your dick to find out what that is. You see what you want.” Despair and rage churned, forming a fist in her chest so huge and heavy she could barely breathe past it. Something ugly inside her wanted to lash out, hurt him as she hurt. “You’ve suffered. I know that, but you’re not the only one. If you could get past your own pain and bitterness you would know that I’ve lost more—so much more than you could imagine.”

  Caitlin spun on her heel, striking out across the room. God, she needed the space. She couldn’t breathe. Her words ricocheted in the heavy silence. Taking several deep breaths, she attempted to regain control of the composure that lay shattered around her feet.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean? You’ve ‘lost so much more’.” Caitlin flicked a glance over her shoulder at him, mutiny gluing her mouth shut. Selig uttered a low curse and stalked over to her. He wheeled her around to face him and gripping her chin, forced her to meet the golden gaze burning down into hers. “Answer me, damn it! What do you mean, you lost more?”

  An instant of caution prompted her to keep her mouth shut. But fury razed that logic to the ground. He wanted truth? Well, then he could have it all in its brutal, ugly glory. Like fucking Tom Cruise, he’d better be prepared to handle it. Batting his hand away from her chin, she pushed her face up into his. She wanted to make sure he heard every damn word.

  “I left New Eden because I was pregnant with your baby.”

  Sick, he was going to be sick.

  He stumbled back a step, the pain that even now burned a hole through the numbing shield of shock, almost brought him to his knees. A baby. Their baby. Again that debilitating stab of agony tore through flesh and bone, burrowing into the secret place where his hopes and dreams of a family hid.

  “What?” he rasped, the one word all he could manage.

  The anger vanished and weariness crossed Caitlin’s face as if the outburst had burned away the last stores of her defiance. Running a hand over her tousled hair, Caitlin turned away from him, hugging her arms around her body. Fury hummed under his skin. She’d kept their baby from him. It was one thing to withhold her love from him, but his child? The chance to be the father his own had been to him? The opportunity to love and be loved unconditionally?

  “Not long after you left, I found out I was pregnant. I couldn’t have been more than eight weeks along. I packed up what I could fit in my car and left New Eden. I ended up losing the baby at the beginning of the third trimester.”

  “You lost…” Selig could’ve sworn nothing could top the pain of discovering he’d had a child he’d known nothing about. He’d been so damn wrong. Finding out you’d lost the child just as it had become real trumped pain and careened into agony. Grief’s sharp talons ripped into his heart, sinking deep as if the lost had occurred yesterday instead of years ago. His harsh breathing filled his ears, the uneven cadence hollow and loud. Unable to stand still, he stalked across the room, placing much needed distance between them. He cut a quick glance at Caitlin. Fury licked at him in great, burning flames. He was consumed with it and thankful she stood on the other side of the room. She’d deprived him of the wonder of creation, the joy of seeing his child grow in her belly, feeling his baby’s first flutter of movement. She’d stolen his right to grieve and mourn.

  “You never would have told me, would you?” Technically a question, yeah, but he knew the answer. He wanted to hear her admit it. He needed to hear it and clear up his confusion about who she really was—the kind, giving person he’d glimpsed at the cemetery yesterday or the selfish, cold bitch who’d cut his heart out and sent him on his “merry” way—all the while carrying his child.

  Caitlin glanced over her shoulder before circling around to face him. Betrayal stared up at him from a breathtaking face and in that instant he could comprehend the insanity that caused a sailor to answer a siren’s call when his death awaited him on the sharp rocks and in the crashing waves. Beauty could conceal a treacherous heart until it was too late to save yourself.

  “You had left and returned to Boston by the time I realized I was pregnant,” she replied. “By the time I lost her, I believed you had moved on and I didn’t want to interfere with that. Besides, you hated me when you left New Eden. I doubted you would have appreciated hearing from me.”

  “You thought. You believed. Did I ever have a vote or a choice in our relationship? You decided we were over. You decided not to interrupt my life with news of a child. You thought it would be best if I didn’t know I’d lost a baby. Caitlin, I don’t care if you had to have fucking Wild Bill Hickock deliver the news by damn Pony Express, you had no right to keep a pregnancy from me!” he growled. He wheeled away from her and burrowed his fingers in his hair. As he gripped the hair at the nape of his neck, her words slammed into him. “By the time I lost her…” Her. He flinched.

  “Her?” he asked, wondering when his sadomasochistic streak had sprung up. Every time she opened her mouth something new and devastating emerged. Yet he kept asking.

  “Yes.”

  He blanched at the wealth of sorrow her soft voice contained.

  “Her. Selina Maureen Richardson.”

  Maureen Richardson. Confusion swirled with the anger and grief. His mother’s name and his last name. She’d given their daughter his last name. Those were the actions of a lover, not a woman who’d thrown him away so callou
sly.

  “From the moment I found out about the pregnancy, I never regretted it. I had to leave or risk…” She stumbled to a stop, biting her lip. He narrowed his eyes, studying her face.

  “Risk what? Your parents finding out? Risk being gossiped about? Nicholas not wanting you because you carried another man’s baby? D, all of the above?”

  Her dark gaze hardened. “Don’t accuse me of that ever again or else this conversation is over. I’ve made mistakes, yes, but wanting Nicholas is not one of them. I didn’t want him when were together or after you left. I damn sure don’t desire him now. And you’re saying it to hurt me because deep down beneath the anger and bitterness you recognize the truth. So cut it out.”

  Tension rose in him and vibrated in the air. Did he really know the truth? At this point, with all the secrets she contained, Selig couldn’t say for certain. All he could attest to with a certainty was that she hid a lot behind that beautiful front she’d perfected.

  “Fine,” he conceded with a sharp nod. “Please finish what you were saying.”

  Caitlin stared at him, her skepticism plain. Smart girl. He didn’t trust her, but he needed to hear what happened with the baby.

  “At first the pregnancy was fine. Her heartbeat was strong, she was active.” She paused and a grimace contorted her features for a brief moment. “That was the first sign that something was wrong. She hadn’t moved in two days when usually two hours didn’t go by without feeling her twist and turn. I went to the doctor and they couldn’t find her heartbeat.”

  Selig wanted to stop her and tell her never mind, don’t go on with the story. Sorrow throbbed in her voice and it tore at him.

  “After a sonogram at the hospital they told me she was dead.” Caitlin cleared her throat and Selig wondered if she was aware her hands hovered over her stomach, the gesture protective and so wrenching he wanted to yank her to him and offer the solace she wouldn’t allow him to give years ago.