A Simple Faith

by Rosalind Lauer

  He ran to the police car, his boots flying through the dark, heavy night.

  15

  Intensive Care.

  Even the name of the hospital unit sounded serious. So dramatic for a man who had a small bump on his head. A small bump that grew bigger until the doctors decided they might have to do surgery. If the drugs they were using didn’t do their job, they would take Dat into the operating room and remove a piece of his skull so that his brain would have room to swell.

  “A very common procedure for traumatic brain injury,” the surgeon had told their family. “We do it all the time.”

  All the time, they cut off a piece of someone’s head.… Elsie marveled at that. It was amazing medicine; she just hoped and prayed that they would not need to do it to her dat.

  Seated in the hospital waiting room, Elsie stretched her hands and refolded them on her lap, in prayer position.

  Dear Heavenly Father, bless Dat and make him better. Please … please.

  She felt like an old washrag that had been wrung out and squeezed and wrung out again, but of course, she had to keep praying. For Dat and James and Jacob. And for the driver of the dark blue SUV, too. They didn’t know that woman’s name, but surely the Heavenly Father knew her well.

  Although the waiting room was bursting with Amish folk from her community, Elsie felt very alone right now. Fanny and Emma were in Dat’s room in the ICU, where children were forbidden and only two family members were permitted. Caleb had taken the little ones across the street to get them a snack and a bit of escape from the chaos of a waiting room packed with so many Plain folk.

  Tonight there was only a handful of Englishers in the intensive care waiting room. At first Elsie had stared at them, wondering if the driver of the dark SUV belonged to someone sitting right in this room. But then, on the way to LanCo General, Haley had told them that the driver might end up at a different hospital. Sometimes the paramedics did that so that they wouldn’t overwhelm one emergency room.

  And as it was, this hospital was getting overwhelmed with Amish people. The Fishers, such a big group of them, took up half the waiting room. Ruben Zook’s father, Joseph, paced in the aisle at Elsie’s feet. Preacher Dave talked with Ira and Rose Miller in one corner, and word had got around that the bishop was on his way. James’s parents and sisters, family relations on Elsie’s father’s side, were now huddled in the hallway, talking with a team of doctors. Rachel stood with them, her mamm, Betsy, by her side, holding her close. Such a lovely thing, a mother’s love.

  Sometimes when Elsie closed her eyes she could see her mother’s bright smile. It was a smile that said I love you, darling girl, no matter how short or how tall you are, or the shape of your teeth. I love you from now till the end of time.

  Elsie closed her eyes and tried to remember her mamm, but instead, the sight of those fierce headlights cut through her mind. She saw the crazy loop of the lights across the double line. She heard the sickening noise of glass exploding and metal scraping.

  When she opened her eyes, her heart was pounding. She gasped, taking heated air into her raw throat. So much heat in this room, from the hospital furnace and the body heat of too many people. She couldn’t take it.

  She rose and removed her coat and wondered how she could have sat here all this time with her winter coat on. Her mind wasn’t quite right, she knew that. She folded her coat and sat down with it on her lap, feeling that something was missing. What was it?

  The pastry box. Whatever had happened to the cupcakes?

  A knot grew in her throat as she imagined the green froggy and the purple horse smashed to crumbs. She sniffed. What a silly thing to cry about when so many folk were suffering tonight. But she’d been so pleased to give the cupcakes to the children. A few hours ago, it had mattered.

  Just then Will and Beth darted in, roses on their cheeks from the cold outside. Elsie sniffed back her tears and pulled little Beth into her arms and held her close until Beth squirmed away to announce that Caleb had bought doughnuts for everyone.

  “And this is for you,” Will said, handing Elsie a pint of milk.

  “Denki.” There was no way she could eat, but the milk would help to soothe her throat.

  “Any news?” Caleb asked as he offered her a doughnut.

  She shook her head and watched as he made the rounds with the giant box.

  “Two dozen doughnuts,” Caleb told everyone. “I got a discount because the shop was closing for the night.” He passed the box around to everyone, including the Englishers.

  Elsie sipped her milk and watched the hallway, hoping for a doctor to appear and tell them that Dat was going to be just fine. But when a young doctor in navy blue scrubs arrived, he asked for the family of Jacob Fisher.

  Half the waiting room gathered round him.

  The news of Jacob was good. A few broken ribs and a punctured lung. A dislocated arm. “He’s in excellent shape for a man in his eighties,” the doctor said. “And it was wise of that young nurse not to move him at the scene. Her caution may have saved Jacob’s life.” The announcement that Jacob was being moved to a room on the third floor prompted the Fisher clan to rise and head for the elevators.

  The empty seats beside Elsie prompted some of the other people to shift away from folding chairs that had been set up in the hall near the snack machines. A solitary woman with jet black hair streaked with silver took the chair beside Elsie.

  “So many people,” she said with a quiet smile. “Did I hear someone say there was an accident with a large van?”

  “Ya,” Elsie spoke softly. “A terrible thing. My father got hit on the head. We’re waiting for him to awaken.”

  “My daughter is in surgery for a ruptured spleen. She was in a fender bender, but I’m guessing it was a different accident. Someone told me that the van was hit on Route 30 outside Halfway, but that’s way out of Clara’s stomping grounds. She’s not allowed to drive that far from home, and she’s such a good girl. I never have to worry about her that way.”

  Elsie nodded. “That must be a very good feeling, to have a good daughter.”

  “She’s a good girl. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to her, so I’m doing my best to keep calm.” The woman blinked back tears and nodded. “I’m Graciana Estevez.”

  “Elsie Lapp.”

  “You know, you and Clara are around the same age. She’s seventeen.”

  “Me, too.”

  Just then Rachel came over and sat on the other side of Elsie. “How’s James?” Elsie asked her friend.

  “He’s sleeping now. They gave him something to help him sleep.” Rachel explained that he had been talking with his parents and with doctors in the emergency room. “He told them he couldn’t feel his legs.” Rachel twisted a handkerchief around one hand. “They did some tests, and they think he has a spinal injury.”

  Elsie closed her eyes. Dear Gott, how could she bear more terrible news?

  “Is he having surgery?” Graciana asked, joining the conversation.

  “Not yet. They’re going to wait and see how it looks when the swelling goes down.” Rachel sighed, her lower lip quivering. “So I’ll be waiting, too. For as long as it takes, till James comes home.”

  Elsie clasped her friend’s hand. “I’ve been praying for James. You know there’s a reason the Heavenly Father had us all on that van today.”

  Rachel frowned. “What reason? Nothing good will come of this. I never should have gone to the city today. If there’d been more seats, James wouldn’t have used that bad seat belt. He would be fine right now.”

  “You don’t know that,” Elsie said. “We have to trust in Gott’s plan and keep praying for James and Dat.”

  Rachel didn’t respond, but the older woman warmed to Elsie’s words.

  “I’ve been praying, too, ever since I got that call from the police,” said Graciana. “I keep praying that God will guide the surgeon’s hands, and I’m hoping for a quick recovery. Clara is in her last semester of
high school and these final classes are so important. Not to mention the prom and all those fun things for seniors. I don’t want this to ruin her senior year for her.”

  “I’ll add Clara to my prayers,” Elsie promised. Although her head was already swimming with sorrow and fear, she reached to find the love and patience this woman needed. “Did you get a doughnut, Graciana? My brother brought them for everyone.” She pushed out of the chair and brought the box to the older woman, who helped herself and thanked Elsie. “Rachel?”

  Her friend waved her off. No appetite—Elsie understood that.

  Without windows, time didn’t seem to pass in the hospital waiting room. The only thing that changed was the occasional arrival of a doctor with news, or another family waiting for a loved one.

  A huge fish tank in a wooden case against one wall kept capturing Elsie’s attention, luring her to a place underwater where food floated down to you and you could swim through the weeds and castle and back in less than a minute. Those fish were lucky in there. No giant steel demons to smash into them out of nowhere.

  Sandwiched between Rachel and Graciana, Elsie kept quiet as the women talked. She was wondering if she would ever forget the icy sliver of fear that stabbed at her as the headlights came toward them. The terrible explosion of metal as the two vehicles collided.

  The sound of footsteps in the corridor made Elsie look up expectantly. With relief, she saw that it was Haley Donovan, her new Englisher friend.

  “How’s everything going?” Haley asked, bringing a swirl of energy into the room. “How’s your father, Elsie?”

  “Still unconscious. They’re giving him medicine to reduce the pressure in his brain,” Elsie reported, knowing Haley would understand.

  Haley nodded. “Trying to avoid a craniectomy. And how’s James?” she asked Rachel, who gave her the latest update.

  “I saw Kate Fisher in the hall, and she filled me in on Jacob. Sounds like he’s going to be fine.”

  Elsie wished she could smile, but she could only manage a weary sigh. “Ya. That’s a good thing.”

  “Excuse me.” Graciana stood up. “I’m just going to call my boss and leave a message at work, and I know they don’t want us to use cell phones here. If the doctor comes looking for me, would you tell him I’ll be right back? My daughter is Clara … Clara Estevez.”

  “Sure.” Elsie nodded. “And we’ll save your spot, right here.”

  The Englisher woman thanked her and headed out of the waiting room.

  “I’m sorry I missed so much,” Haley went on, “but the police had a gazillion questions about the accident scene. It sounds like I’m the only witness outside the van who saw the whole incident.”

  Elsie nodded. Although she appreciated Haley’s willingness to help the police, the Amish would have nothing to do with testifying or filing a lawsuit. “I saw everything,” Elsie said. “The lights of that dark SUV crossing the double lines … I will never forget it.”

  “I know what you mean. It’s kind of burned in my memory.” Haley rubbed the plastic handles of the chair. “The police think the driver was texting; they found a cell phone in the car, and I guess they pulled up a message from the time of the crash.”

  “What is this, texting?” Rachel asked.

  Haley explained how a person could type in and read messages on a cell phone.

  “And they type and read while they’re driving?” Rachel asked. “I would never think to read a book while driving a horse and buggy.”

  “Exactly,” Haley said. “Well, at least I’m through with the interviewing for now.” She looked up as two Amish men entered the waiting room. “It’s our long-lost friends. What’s up, guys?”

  Zed Miller and Ruben Zook stepped in.

  “We heard there were free doughnuts,” Ruben said quietly. “So we came right away.”

  Elsie almost smiled despite the turmoil roiling inside her. “Have a seat and a doughnut.”

  Ruben held up his hands, both wrapped in white gauze and tape. “I’m not supposed to get crumbs on these.”

  “You’ll have to use your fingertips,” Haley said, handing over the large box as the young men sat down across from Elsie.

  “We heard that Jacob is doing good, thanks to you, Haley.” Zed gestured at Haley with a doughnut. “The doctor said that it was good we didn’t move him.”

  “And I saw Market Joe and Lizzy leaving the ER when I got my hands bandaged,” Ruben said. “Joe told me everything is fine.”

  “That’s good,” Haley said wistfully. “What happened to your hands, Ruben?”

  He explained that he had cut them on glass when he first opened the van door, and so many small pieces had been embedded in his palms.

  “And you didn’t say anything?” Haley shook her head. “Shame on me for not noticing.”

  “You’re just one person with two eyes,” Ruben said.

  “But you never said a word about it,” Elsie pointed out. She had never talked much with Ruben before, and somehow she had not expected to find humility. “And everything you did—running around and finding the SUV and flipping it over. You did it all with glass in your hands?”

  “Very heroic,” Haley said.

  Ruben shrugged. “Those things had to be done.”

  “And I was pretty impressed by the way you moved the traffic along, Zed,” Haley said. “How did you know to set out flares?”

  Zed frowned. “I spent eight years driving a truck.”

  “But I thought the Amish weren’t allowed to drive.”

  Elsie knew Zed’s long story. Everyone in Halfway knew about his long rumspringa and the job he’d gotten as a truck driver and the Jeep he’d left behind that had caused a bit of trouble for his parents. But she didn’t think it was her place to say.

  “I left home during my rumspringa,” Zed said. “Do you know what that is?”

  Haley nodded. “A time of freedom for Amish youth?”

  “Something like that. I learned to drive an eighteen-wheeler. I took a class and everything, and for a long time driving was how I made a living.”

  “But you’re back. Visiting Lancaster County, or are you back for good?”

  Funny, how Zed didn’t meet a person’s eyes very often. Elsie wondered what heavy burden kept him looking down at the ground.

  “Ya, I’m back.”

  Just then Graciana returned, navigating around legs in the aisle.

  “I saved your spot.” Elsie patted the seat. When the woman thanked her, Elsie introduced her, mentioning that the others had been in the van, and that Haley was a nurse who had fortunately been driving on the same highway.

  “Actually, I’m just a nursing student,” Haley corrected. “I was driving home on Route 30 when … when everything happened. I had just finished up my clinical class here.”

  “And you were the first car on the scene?” Graciana rubbed her arms. “That just gives me goose bumps. It was meant to be.”

  “Seeing how you helped everyone after the accident last night, I think you’ll be a right good nurse,” Elsie said.

  “Tell that to my clinical instructor. I’m not so good with the class work and reports.”

  “But Gott blessed you in the things that really matter,” Rachel said.

  Haley pressed a hand to her heart. “Thank you for saying that.” She turned to the older woman. “I don’t think we met. I’m Haley.”

  “Graciana Estevez.”

  “Graciana’s daughter was in an accident near Lancaster,” Elsie explained.

  “That’s right. We live in Lancaster, and Clara was on her way to work,” Graciana said. “She’s been working at the Shopmart every afternoon and evening, trying to save money. Clara has always wanted to go to Disney World, and as a graduation present, I’m paying for our trip. She’s got to save up the money to pay for our admission to the parks.”

  “I like Mickey Mouse,” Elsie said without thinking.

  “How do you know Mickey Mouse?” Zed asked.

  She shr
ugged. “I see him on signs and advertisements. His round black ears.”

  “Not in The Budget,” Ruben said, mentioning the newspaper read by Amish people.

  That actually brought a chuckle from the group. Even Elsie felt herself smiling. “Not in The Budget. But I like the way Mickey is always cheerful.”

  “Even if he is a mouse,” Rachel said. “With Graybeard the cat, he wouldn’t last in our barn for ten minutes.”

  “Sometimes I forget he’s a mouse,” Elsie said.

  “Clara likes Pooh Bear,” Graciana said.

  “Now there’s a bear with a bad name,” said Ruben. “I wouldn’t like to have a name that makes folks think of manure.”

  Again, there was a murmur of laughter.

  “But I can’t believe we’re laughing about this in such a terrible moment.”

  “Laughter is a great de-stresser,” Haley said. “I know. Mickey told me.”

  Maybe it was good to laugh in the face of fear. Elsie had to admit that her mind had been free of the memory of the crash, at least for a second or two. Maybe she would be rid of it eventually. Her dat always said nothing lasts forever, not even your troubles.

  16

  Haley felt such a strong emotional connection to the group assembled in the waiting room, she couldn’t even think about heading home yet. She had called her parents to fill them in about the accident. After Haley had assured her mother that she was still in one piece, Wendy Donovan had started in on the worries of having a single daughter out on the road.

  “This was exactly the sort of thing I was looking forward to being finished with,” Mom had told her. “If you were married and settled now, I wouldn’t have to worry about you coming across a terrible accident on the highway at night. You think you’re independent because you’re in your twenties, but, honey, your father and I still worry.”

  “Ma, are you saying you would have stopped worrying if I’d married Graham? I still could have encountered the same accident. How would it be any different?”

  “It just would be. You don’t understand and you probably won’t until you have children of your own. Which may not be until the next millennium, at the rate you’re going.”