A Simple Faith

by Rosalind Lauer

  Elsie pressed a hand to her mouth as fear knotted inside her. She couldn’t let anything happen to Fanny.

  “I’ve got to get home.” Her heartbeat drummed in her ears.

  Rachel was immediately on her feet beside her. “I’ll help you find Emma.”

  Outside in the main area of the barn, the crowd that had brought her joy minutes before now seemed like a maddening throng.

  “There’s Emma.” Rachel moved around two boys pushing a desk on a handcart and disappeared into the crowd.

  But they needed a driver, too. Caleb had the family’s single horse and buggy over at the store, and even if he were already hitched up, it was an agonizingly slow way to travel in an emergency.

  Calm down. Take a breath, Elsie told herself. No one had said it was an emergency, but most folks didn’t know about Fanny’s medical problems through this pregnancy.

  Biting her lower lip, Elsie scanned the crowd, searching for George Dornbecker. Instead, the first face that emerged was her friend Haley.

  “What’s wrong?” Haley reached out to touch her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  “Fanny’s gone into labor, and …”

  “She has that blood pressure issue.…” Haley’s amber eyes flashed as she made the immediate connection. “Where is she?”

  “At home. Emma and I need to get home. And Will and Beth, too.”

  “I’ll take you there.” Haley tossed her coffee cup into a trash bin and put an arm around Elsie’s shoulders. “Come on, honey. We are outtie.”

  40

  The tiny thing mewed as Anna placed him firmly in Elsie’s arms.

  “Oh, little baby boy! What do you have to whimper about?” Elsie asked softly as she swayed gently back and forth. “You have a mamm who loves you so, and two big brothers to show you the way to be a man. And three big sisters to tease you and sneak cookies for you. Once you get teeth, of course.”

  Elsie’s comment evoked soft chuckles from the others in the room. Doc Trueherz and Anna Beiler, the midwife, were still here, and Haley had stayed, just in case the doctor needed extra assistance.

  The baby mewled again, and Elsie felt a tender tug of affection for him. He was sunshine and joy and tender new life, and he was ever so welcome in this house that had known so much sadness lately.

  “What’s his name, Mamm?” Will asked.

  “Ya.” Beth climbed up on the couch and perched beside her mother. “What his name, Mamm?”

  “I was thinking of Thomas,” Fanny said. “And we could call him Tom.” She seemed so relaxed on the couch, so content and happy, that Elsie had trouble believing that she had given birth to this beautiful little baby less than an hour ago.

  “Tom?” Elsie folded the blanket away so that she could see his face. “What do you think? Are you a Tom?”

  He moved his peachy head so that he could stare up at her. “Such eyes you have.” A deep, warm brown, they were soulful and wise, as if he already understood that this world he was coming into wasn’t perfect, but that he would find his own right good place.

  “Does he like his name?” Will asked.

  “I would say he’s thinking about it,” Emma responded, holding out her arms for a chance to hold him. He kicked his tiny legs as they made the switch. “Such a feisty one, you are!” Emma cooed.

  “He’s got spirit,” Anna agreed. “Just like his mamm.” She leaned in closer to Emma and Elsie to click her tongue at the baby. “This one was a challenge, preeclampsia and all,” she said, in a quiet, women-only voice.

  Tom let out another cry, and everyone looked toward Emma.

  “The kid’s got a good pair of lungs,” Haley said.

  “What a day! Delivering babies is one of the highlights of my job,” Henry Trueherz said, as he pumped up the cuff on Fanny’s arm to check her blood pressure. “But I don’t get to do it too often because of competent midwives like you, Anna.”

  “Ach!” Anna waved a withered hand at him. “I should know what I’m doing. Been doing it nearly forty years. I’d say that’s right good practice.”

  “Can’t argue with that.” Dr. Trueherz checked the monitor and wrote the numbers down in his notebook.

  “How is her blood pressure now?” Haley asked. She had been helpful in explaining preeclampsia for the family.

  “It looks good. Fanny, I’d say we’re through the worst of it without complications.”

  “Thank the Heavenly Father,” Elsie said. If the blood pressure had gotten too high during labor, there was a chance that Fanny could have begun having seizures, which would have been dangerous for mother and baby.

  Fanny sighed. “I’m grateful to be home. I have no love for the hospital, but I would have gone if you told me so, Doc.”

  “You’ve got the blood pressure of a marathon runner now,” the doctor said. “Your prayers worked, young lady.”

  It seemed funny to hear Fanny being called a young lady when she was the mamm in their house. But truth be told, she was only twenty-nine, just eight years older than Caleb.

  The doctor packed his things in a brown leather satchel. “Looks like my work is done here. Anna, do you want a ride home?”

  “I’m going to stay on a bit.” Anna handed Fanny a glass of water. “I like to dote on the newborns.”

  Dr. Trueherz said his good-byes, and the family settled in once again, a semicircle of rocking chairs facing the blue sofa.

  “Is it all right if I get up?” Fanny asked the midwife. “There’s a little cap that I knit for Tom, and I want to try it on him.”

  Anna pressed a finger to her chin. “You’re looking fit, but you best stay put for now.”

  “I’ll fetch it,” Elsie offered.

  “It’s yellow and white,” Fanny said. “I think it’s in the bedroom, on the chest of drawers.”

  Elsie went into the bedroom that had been shared by Dat and Fanny for many years. Although she had avoided entering it since Dat passed, she now stepped inside with a new vision of the room now that the baby had been born in here. It was time to let go of the shadow of grief and clear the way for the new life Gott had blessed them with.

  She found the hat sitting right on the dresser as Fanny had said. As she stepped in to get it, she saw a flurry of white outside the window.

  Snow.

  Already it was beginning to stick to the ground, mottling the dirt trail and fence and golden grass with white specks. Caleb would have an interesting trip home from the store.

  “Elsie?” Haley poked her head into the doorway. “Did you find it?”

  “I did, but look. It’s snowing.”

  “Wow.” Haley stepped up to the window. “It’s really coming down. I should probably go soon.”

  “Will you be okay driving in it?”

  “No worries. The Geo has all-wheel drive, and I’ll take it slow.”

  “It’s such a beautiful sight. A blanket of white. It’s as if Gott is making everything fresh and clean for Tom’s arrival.”

  Haley’s smile eased the strain on her face. “That’s one of the many things I love about you, Els. You find the good in everything.”

  “It’s a wonderful good day. Tom’s birth is a new start for our family.”

  “And a small miracle, I think. To have everything go off without a hitch, without complications. God had His angels watching over Fanny today.”

  “We have so much to be thankful for.” Elsie picked up the knit cap. “You know, I was worried about how I’d feel when the baby came. I was afraid I would fall back into despair over Dat. It’s such a sad thing for a child not to have a father. But now that Tom is here, something inside of me has shifted. Like a flower has blossomed inside of me. I’m going to love that baby as if he were my own.”

  “He is so precious. Doesn’t it make you want a baby, Els? A child of your own? When I see a tiny infant like Tom, it just pushes all my buttons.”

  Elsie knew the tug of longing her friend was experiencing. She had begun to feel that way when she saw Amish mamms
with their infants and toddlers. A baby grasping for the string of her mother’s prayer kapp, a toddler hiding behind the skirt of his mother’s dress. The sight of mother and child awakened that yearning that she had put to rest so many years ago.

  But Tom would be the child she would never have. “I’ll just have to shower Tom with the same love I would give my own baby,” Elsie said.

  “Everyone is already falling for him,” Haley said. “He’s lucky to be surrounded by so much love.”

  “He’s a child of winter. A cold, dark time … but it’s cozy, too. And spring is just around the corner.”

  Haley’s amber eyes flickered as she put her hands on Elsie’s shoulders. “You are the master of finding the silver lining in every cloud, and after everything you’ve been through. You’re my hero, Elsie.”

  “Oh, it’s not a big deal … I just look for the little glimmer of light in the darkness. For a time, I couldn’t find it, but I can now. Little Tom has brought light into our house again.”

  “I’m so happy for you.” They hugged, and in the moment of quiet came the sound of snow crystals tapping the window in the blustery wind.

  “I guess it’s time to get my snow leopard on the road,” Haley said.

  As Elsie followed her into the main room with the little cap in hand, she couldn’t help but smile. That was who she was, deep in the core of her heart. The one who could see good in everyone. The person who saw the silver lining in a dark storm cloud.

  She gave a happy sigh, so relieved that her sunny disposition was coming back. Ya. If little Tom was still fussing, she would find a way to turn his frown upside down.

  That night, after everyone else had gone to bed, Elsie added one last batch of coal to the stove as Fanny finished nursing the baby.

  “Now it’s time to sleep, little one.” Fanny ran a hand over her baby’s downy head.

  “Gott has blessed us today.” Elsie had stayed up to keep Fanny company, and to hold the baby one last time before going off to bed. If Tom was going to be the only babe in her life, the child of her heart, she wanted to make the day of his birth last long in her memory.

  Fanny let out a yawn as Tom’s little rosebud mouth sucked at the air, then settled.

  “Can I hold him a bit?” Elsie asked.

  “Sure.” Fanny placed her warm bundle in Elsie’s arm. “I’m off to bed. You can bring him in to the cradle in my room when you’ve had enough cuddling.”

  Elsie looked down at the sleeping baby, his perfectly formed nose shining in the dim light. “I don’t know that I’ll ever get enough of this little one.”

  With a chuckle, Fanny headed off to the washroom.

  As Elsie settled into a slow, steady rocking pattern, she began to hum. Before long, she realized it was a song she had loved since she was a child, called “I Have Found a Hiding Place.” As a small girl, skilled in the game of hide-and-seek, she had thought the song was written for her.

  “I have found a hiding place when sore distressed,

  Jesus, Rock of Ages, strong and true …”

  She sang softly as her mind painted a warm, happy future for the little baby in her arms. Outside, something rattled against the front window. The wind must have been kicking up the snow, but they were safe and warm inside.

  “I have found a lovely star that shines on high,

  Jesus, Bright and Morning Star to me;

  In the night of sorrow He is ever nigh,

  He drives the darkest shadows away …”

  A clatter outside the window caused her to abruptly stop singing.

  “Don’t worry, Tom,” she whispered to the sleeping baby. “It’s probably just a branch blowing in the snow.” It was hard to see anything with the curtains drawn over the window to keep the draft out. But as she rose and crossed the room, baby in her arms, a bouncing light made her heartbeat quicken.

  That was not the wind.

  With Tom cradled in her arms, she parted the curtains and peered out. Someone was out there with a flashlight; a young man who’d come courting, despite the snow. For a moment she expected it to be Gabe King, here for Emma, but as she made out the dark silhouette, it was too large to be Gabe.

  “Ruben?” she called through the glass.

  With one hand he turned the flashlight on himself, hitting the snow from his hat with the other hand.

  She tapped on the glass, then pointed toward the side of the house. “Go round to the mud porch. I’ll meet you there.”

  Had he really come all this way in the snow? She hadn’t heard his horse and buggy come down the lane, but then snow tended to muffle noises in the night.

  She checked the sleeping baby in her arms, then walked through the kitchen. A cold draft swept in as she opened the door to the mud porch, where rows of socks hung from a line like sleeping bats. She cradled the baby closer for warmth, but he breathed quietly, unfazed by the cold.

  Ruben was huddled over by the hat rack, knocking snow from the shoulders of his coat.

  “What are you doing out in the deepest snow of the winter?” she asked.

  “I hope it’s all right. I wanted to tell you how the auction went, and besides that, it’s Saturday night.”

  The night when young men courted their girls … was that what he meant?

  As she looked up at his broad, kind face, she couldn’t deny that she was overjoyed to see him on this night of all nights. In the past few months, Ruben had been at her side for nearly every important moment, sharing in the sadness and healing. She wanted him to be here, to have a peek at Tom, to tell her about the auction and keep her company by the warm stove.

  And there was still the matter of that wonderful kiss from last week. That spark that still lingered in the air between them.

  Just the thought of it set tender emotions trembling through her.

  But there would be no kissing tonight … not with little Tom nestled in her arms. Tonight was a night to celebrate a gift from Gott. A night for celebration and friendship.

  He looked up as he stepped out of a boot. “Is that the new baby you’re holding?”

  “It is. Tom Lapp.”

  “Praise be to Gott. But shouldn’t he be asleep?”

  She chuckled softly. “He is asleep. That’s the joy of being a baby. You get passed from one set of loving arms to the next, and you settle in and go back to sleep.

  “Kumm,” she said, leading him inside after he had left his wet things on the mud porch. “You can warm up by the stove.”

  “Denki.” He followed her inside, stepping right up to fold down the blanket at Tom’s chin and study his little face. “Wilkommen, little man. You’re a lucky one to be in Elsie’s arms.”

  His words, his presence, the twinkle in his blue eyes—everything conspired to warm her from within. “Do you want some hot cocoa?”

  “That would hit the spot. The snow is already thick out there. Like slogging through a bucket of flour.”

  Elsie turned to the kitchen to prepare the hot drink, then paused. She didn’t want to jostle the baby too much. “I need to put you back in your cradle.”

  “Here.” Ruben motioned her closer. “Give him to me.” Without a moment’s hesitation he reached out and gently lifted little Tom from her arms. In Ruben’s large hands, Tom looked like a tiny little doll, but from the way Ruben cradled the baby in the crook of one arm, Elsie could see he had experience with babies.

  “You’ve been around little ones,” she said.

  “Ya. Our family is still growing. Little Perry is only a few months old.”

  Ruben didn’t talk about his family often, and she had forgotten that his father, like her dat, had taken a younger bride after being widowed.

  She watched as he lowered himself into a rocker by the stove and gently shifted the baby, supporting his head. Oh, he was good with babies. The sight of him talking softly to Tom tugged at something deep inside her, something that had been long buried, tucked into a secret hiding place.

  There’s no reason to doubt tha
t Elsie will be able to have healthy babies of her own, Doc Trueherz had told her and Fanny years ago, when she had gone into the clinic for a throat infection that had turned into a physical exam.

  And Fanny’s smile had cast a gentle shower of grace over Elsie. “That’s good news. There’s nothing more important in this world than having a family of your own.”

  A baby of her own … that would be heavenly. A toddler tugging on her skirt. A little Ruben tracking mud into their house. Although she didn’t want to admit it, she had fallen for Ruben … fallen hard. And the thought that he might one day be her husband, sitting beside her at the family table, sharing a bed … oh, that would truly be a life of happiness.

  Another glimpse of Ruben rocking the baby, and Elsie wanted to cry out for the terrible unfairness of it all.

  It could never be … not for her.

  She turned away quickly and tugged the refrigerator open, trying to push such thoughts from her mind.

  As she heated milk on the stove, he told her about the fruitful day at Zook’s barn. “You saw the turnout. There were a lot more Englishers than we usually see in Halfway this time of year.”

  “Such a crowd.” She stirred the milk, careful not to stare at the lovely sight of the big, sweet man holding her little Tom.

  Ruben explained that some of the handmade and rare items had fetched high bids—including her family’s wooden box. But there had been other creative donations. The Fishers had auctioned off a day of baking, and Dave Zook agreed to give a tour of his buggy shop, along with a ride in a real Amish buggy. By the end of the day, Mary and Remy had counted receipts of more than twenty-three thousand dollars.

  “That’s wonderful for James and his family.” Goose bumps tickled the back of her neck at the wonder of it all. That daunting mountain of debt would be gone! When Gott took a family in His loving arms, He truly did move mountains.

  “I knew our Plain folk would pull it together for Jimmy Lapp and his family.” Ruben lowered his head, as if speaking directly to Tom. “This is how we do it, little man. You must follow the Golden Rule and love your neighbor as yourself.”