by Marta Perry
“Because I believe in what I do, and I want you to feel the same way. Birth at home is a beautiful, spiritual experience.”
He thought simply looking into her eyes was a beautiful, spiritual experience. He stopped trying to kid himself. He was falling hard for this woman.
The last thing he’d expected to find in Ohio was someone like Amber Bradley. He deeply admired her grace, her humor, her dedication to the Amish people, her skill as a nurse and her profound faith.
Leaving Hope Springs was going to be much harder than he’d anticipated.
* * *
It didn’t take long for word to get around that Amber was back in business. The first person Amber told was her friend Katie. After several moments of rejoicing in the lobby of the Wadler Inn, Katie declared that she’d be happy to pass on the news.
On Monday afternoon, Bishop Zook arrived at the clinic and had a brief chat with Phillip. Amber was not included. Phillip looked surprised by the fact she wasn’t being asked to sit in. She wasn’t. Men dominated Amish society. Only men held Church offices and could work outside the home. Unmarried women could hold jobs to help support the family, but once a woman married she stayed at home.
The bishop, satisfied that Phillip was willing to allow home births, left to share the news with the rest of the Church district. That evening, Amber resumed prenatal visits with her expectant mothers.
Phillip accompanied her. She knew it was important for the families to meet him prior to the big day, but spending so much time alone with him as they traveled the back roads of the county began wearing on her nerves. Each hour she spent with him made it increasingly difficult to maintain a professional attitude. The one thing helping her was the knowledge that he didn’t agree with what she was doing.
Sunday morning rolled around on the first day of August with the good soaking rain so many farmers had been praying for. In church, Amber made a point of sitting with Nick and several of her cousins during the service. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Phillip come in.
Nick leaned over to whisper, “I see your special friend is here.”
Slanting a glance at her handsome cousin, she caught his mischievous grin and made a face. “He’s not my anything, Nick.”
“That’s not what I’ve been hearing.”
Okay, who had been talking? “Not all gossip in Hope Springs is true, you know.”
Nick glanced toward the back of the church then crossed his arms. “The man might think you’re avoiding him.”
Amber focused her attention on the sanctuary where a large stained-glass window depicting a shroud-draped cross was set high in the wall. Instantly, she felt guilty.
It’s not that I’m avoiding Phillip, Lord. It’s just that…okay, I’m avoiding him.
Being in Phillip’s constant company was making her wish for things that could never be. He was charming and funny. He loved kids. In spite of their many differences, it would be so easy to fall for the guy.
She hadn’t fallen for him, but she could feel herself stumbling.
Remember, he isn’t staying in Hope Springs. He has a life waiting for him in Hawaii.
She had a wonderful life here. A life she had always wanted. So why didn’t it feel as wonderful as it once had?
During the service, she prayed for the strength to keep a level head and her heart intact. After church was over and they all went outside, she remained with her cousins, exchanging small talk and getting updated on family matters. The sun had come out and the air smelled fresh-washed and sweet. She saw Phillip standing off to the side of the church steps. He looked lonely by himself, and very handsome in his charcoal gray suit and pale green dress shirt.
Amber wavered and nearly went to talk to him. The arrival of the mayor saved her. As the tall, lanky public servant pumped Phillip’s hand and loudly expressed his gratitude, Amber made a quick escape.
Her respite lasted until Monday. At least they were busy through the morning, which left them little time together. In the afternoon, Phillip sat down with her to finish reviewing the charts of her clients.
Amber was leery that he would be critical of her methods. She knew she did good work, but this collaboration could prove to be difficult if they didn’t see eye to eye on the basics.
Closing the last chart, he looked up at her. “You’re very thorough. The only patient I question as low-risk is Sophie Knepp.”
“Why? Everything about this pregnancy has been great.”
“She has lost two children.”
“From what Harold and the family told me, those little girls died at the age of two from medical problems. It was before my time here. Her last two pregnancies have gone without a hitch.”
“Still, I’m not comfortable with doing a home delivery with her.”
“Will you be comfortable with any of them?” Amber snapped. She didn’t mean to be snippy but the words were out before she could stop them.
He sat forward in his chair and crossed his arms on the desktop. “You think I’ll find something wrong with all your patients?”
“No. I’m sorry I said that.”
“We’ve got some trust issues here, don’t we? Maybe we should begin addressing those.”
Leaning back in her chair, she studied him intently. “I want to believe you’ve got my back here but it’s a little hard. I know you’ve been forced into this and it goes against what you believe. Besides that, you aren’t invested in these patients because you’ll be leaving in a few weeks.”
“Fair enough. The only thing I can do is to let my actions speak for me.”
Just then her cell phone rang. Opening it, she spoke briefly with the caller and then hung up.
Looking at Phillip, she said, “Here and now you should know this isn’t about us anymore. From now on, our focus must be making sure our clients have a wonderful birthing experience.”
“And safe.”
Nodding, she echoed him. “And safe. Agreed?”
“Absolutely.”
Amber rose to her feet. “Well then, you’re about to see your first home birth. That call was from a neighbor of Mary Yutzi. She’s in labor and we need to go.”
He picked up the phone. “Wilma, do I have any more patients scheduled this afternoon?”
Amber grinned. He was going to find balancing office work and delivering babies to be a real time challenge.
He said, “Cancel Mrs. Curtis and reschedule her for tomorrow morning.”
Hanging up the phone, he rose. “Let’s go welcome a new child of God into this world.”
* * *
As soon as they arrived at the Yutzi farm, Phillip watched Amber quickly set up her equipment. Mary was still walking the floor with her hands pressed to the small of her back. Her husband was holding her elbow and speaking softly to her as he walked by her side.
After examining her, Amber smiled. “You’ve got a ways to go yet.”
Getting up from the bed, Mary looked at Amber. “But you will stay, ja?”
“I’ll stay. Dr. Phillip and I can make ourselves at home. Why don’t you take a walk outside? It’s a beautiful day.”
With her attentive husband at her side, Mary went out the front door.
Amber said, “Walking will move her labor along more quickly.”
She removed her gloves and washed while Phillip checked over her supplies.
“Clamps, suction bulb, Ambu bag, oxygen, IV fluids, Pitocin, a baby scale. You’ve got a whole delivery suite here.” He sounded impressed.
“There’s more in the car if I need it. Are you feeling less apprehensive about this?”
“Maybe. Cleanliness isn’t an issue here. This home is as neat as a pin.”
“That’s true for most Amish homes.”
It wasn’t long before Mary and her husband returned. Phillip stood in the bedroom doorway and watched as Amber helped her lie down. When Mary was comfortable, Amber listened to the baby’s heartbeat with her fetoscope. “Everything sounds fine. How are your contractions
?”
“Uncomfortable and about every two minutes.” She glanced repeatedly at Phillip with a slight frown on her face.
“Good. It won’t be long now,” Amber reassured her.
Walking over to Phillip, she asked, “Would you like to help?”
“You seem to have everything under control.”
“You look like you’re ready to jump in at any second.”
“I am.”
“I’ll tell you what you can do to help. I find reading from the Bible will often calm my mothers.”
“And nervous doctors, too?”
Smiling, she nodded. “Yes, you, too. I hand out an instruction packet on diet and exercise and what new moms need to expect on my first prenatal visit with a client. The packet also contains some of my favorite Scripture passages.”
“Do you do that because they are Amish?”
“No, I do it because I have been called by God to be a nurse-midwife. Praising His name and reading His word while a new life is coming into the world just seems right.”
“Would one of your favorite Scriptures be 1 John 3:18?”
“Yes, how did you know that?”
“Your coffee cup told me. ‘My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.’”
Her eyes softened. “Exactly.”
“Would you like me to read to you, Mary?”
“Ja.”
Amber said, “I think it would make us less nervous than having you hovering in the background.”
He looked about the room. “Do you have a Bible I can use?”
“How good is your German?” Amber asked with a know-it-all grin.
He adored her smile. “I now know Doktor, doktor, komm schnell and Der Englischer ist ab im kopf.”
Mary and her husband chuckled at that.
Amber slipped past him in the doorway. “I have my Bible in my bag. I’ll get it.”
When she came back, she handed it to him. Happily, it was an English version. She said, “Read anything you like.”
Settling himself on a wooden chair by the bedroom window, Phillip started reading as Amber coached Mary in her labor, checked her progress and kept a good eye on the baby’s condition without seeming intrusive.
Later, when it grew dark outside, Mary’s husband lit the gas lamp on the bedroom wall. Phillip moved to make use of the soft, warm glow.
Throughout the evening, Mary asked for numerous readings and he was happy to oblige. In amazement, he watched as Mary labored with her husband at her side in the quiet stillness of their own bedroom and by the light of a single lantern. It was a surreal experience for Phillip who had attended many deliveries under bright hospital lights with numerous medical personnel in the room.
At 12:09 a.m. Anna Yutzi arrived, weighing seven pounds, three ounces. She was twenty inches long and as bald as a rock.
“A beautiful and healthy girl,” Phillip said after examining the baby. He gave the weighed and measured infant back to her smiling parents. He had usurped Amber’s job, but the chance to hold such a precious child wasn’t to be missed. “Ja, she is our gift from God. My mother will be excited to have her first granddaughter,” Mary replied, never taking her eyes from her baby’s face. Her gentle smile warmed Phillip’s heart.
It took another hour or so to clean up and make sure both mother and baby were comfortable. Mary’s husband assured them Mary’s mother would come to stay as soon as she heard the joyful news.
Phillip knew it was the man’s way of saying that he and Mary wanted to be alone.
Amber said, “I’ll check in on you tomorrow.”
“And I’d like to see you in the office in about a week,” Phillip added.
As he followed Amber outside to her car a little after two o’clock in the morning, he noticed at once the full white moon shining down on them. A soft breeze stirred the night air and carried to him the scent of roses from Mary’s garden and the smell of corn ripening in the fields. He drew in a deep, cleansing breath and blew it out slowly.
“Tired?” Amber asked.
“A little. You?”
“A lot.”
“Want me to drive?”
She turned and leaned against the car door, then slipped her hands into her scrub top pockets. “First tell me what you thought of this home birth. How did it compare to your hospital deliveries?”
At a loss for words, he simply shook his head.
“Come on. You must have some opinion. What did it feel like?”
Moving to stand beside her, he rested his hip against the car, too. “It was amazing. To see their all-embracing faith, their absolute trust in God’s will, was humbling. There is beauty and serenity in every birth but this was special. Mary was so quiet, I’ve never seen a laboring woman stay so calm.”
“You will find that’s the norm among Amish women.”
“Really?” He studied her upturned face. Her eyes glittered in the moonlight. Her hair glowed from the touch of moonbeams. Her skin looked flawless and pure. He beheld her ethereal beauty that was so much more than skin-deep.
This time, he wasn’t going to mess up. Cupping her chin in his hand, he bent down and kissed her before she could turn away.
Chapter Fifteen
The world stood still around Amber. The full moon faded away and the stars winked out. The wind died to a soft sigh. Only it wasn’t the wind she heard. That wistful sound formed in her own mind. The wonder of the moment swept her away from everything she’d ever known and into enchantment.
Phillip’s lips were firm yet gentle as they moved across hers. The rasp of his whiskers on the tender skin around her mouth sent a thrill racing over her, making her want to draw closer. She leaned into the kiss and her arms crept up to encircle his neck.
Nothing in the world existed except the two of them and this wonderful feeling of rightness. Her hands moved up his neck to tangle in his hair. He was a very good kisser.
It took a while but Amber’s common sense finally reasserted itself. As hard as she tried to stay in the glorious moment, reality seeped in. It was a wonderful kiss. It was a doomed romance. She couldn’t let this go any further.
Moving her hands to Phillip’s shoulders, she pushed gently. He loosened his embrace but didn’t release her entirely. The kiss lasted one more heart-stopping second before he pulled away.
Drawing a ragged breath, he cupped the back of her head and tucked her face against his neck. “Wow.”
It felt marvelous to rest in his embrace. He was so warm and strong and vital. It was the kind of moment she’d dreamed of but never thought would become a reality. She didn’t want to lose this marvelous feeling but the sensation was fading. She had to get the two of them back on solid footing.
“Phillip, if you say something stupid like ‘I’m sorry,’ I’ll kick your shin.”
He chuckled. The sound reverberated deep in his chest beneath her ear and made her smile. “Amber, of all the things running through my mind right now, I’m sorry is not even on the horizon.”
“Good.”
Where did this leave them? It changed nothing and it changed everything.
“Does this mean we’ve resolved the trust issues between us?” he asked.
“I’m working on it.” If only it were that easy. One kiss and everything became rosy. Not.
He leaned back so he could see her face. Amber looked up, hoping her heart wasn’t shining in her eyes. Before she could think of anything else to say, he released her and stepped away.
“I think it’s time I drove you home.”
Without his arms around her, the night air felt cold. She crossed her arms as a shiver ran down her spine. “If you aren’t going to kiss me again, we should go.”
He paused in the act of opening the car door. “Oh, Amber. Talk about temptation. You’ve been one since the first day I came to Hope Springs.”
His comment pleased her feminine side to no end, but it didn’t narrow the chasm that existed between them.
/> “Okay, home it is,” he conceded.
Once in the car, Amber hoped things would return to normal. Her hopes were in vain. He said, “What are we going to do about this?”
What could they do about it? The answer was painfully clear to her. “Nothing.”
His gaze jerked toward her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t get me wrong. It was a wonderful kiss.”
“That was the impression I had at the time. Now I’m wondering if I misread something.”
“You didn’t. It just can’t happen again.”
By the sudden deep silence, Amber knew he understood. Finally, he said, “It won’t.”
“We have to work together. You’re my boss. Besides that, you’re leaving in a few weeks. If we jump headlong into a relationship, we’ll end up hurting each other.”
“I thought I was practical. You’ve got me beat hands down. But answer me this, what if we allowed this relationship to take its natural course and see where it leads?”
He had no idea how much she longed to have that happen. One kiss from him was not enough. It would never be enough. That didn’t change anything. “Okay, you tell me how this might play out differently.”
“We could enjoy each other’s company when we aren’t working. You know, spend time together. We could get to know each other. Who knows, we might find this is the real deal for both of us.”
“And then what? You’d settle down in Hope Springs for the rest of your life? You’d be happy being a family doctor to the Amish and skip the part where you practice cutting-edge medicine with the latest technology?”
She hated driving home the point, but it was a pipe dream to think what they had between them could ever be more than a breathless kiss in the moonlight.
“You’re right,” he admitted.
“Of course, I’m right.”
He gave in so easily. That hurt a little. He could have offered a few more arguments.
Okay, maybe it was better that he hadn’t. This way she could make believe it was nothing more than a simple flirtation.
By now they had reached the edge of town. It didn’t take much longer to reach her house. When he pulled up to the curb in front of her home, she turned in her seat to see his face better. Trying to convince herself it hadn’t been an important moment didn’t cut it. She had to admit the truth. “I’ll never forget tonight, Phillip.”
