by Evie Harper
We spot another turnoff coming up, Mt. Vernon again. The Dodge begins to slow even with my foot flat on the floor; the NOS has run out.
Della, sensing the car slowing and knowing all we have now is the power of the car's engine, unclips her belt and turns around in her seat, staring out through the shattered rear window.
“I can't see them, but they must still be coming, right?” Della asks, urging me for an answer.
“We have to assume they are until we can get somewhere safe and know for certain that we lost them.”
My gut churns. I replay the moment I told Paulie to back off in the hotel room, and if he didn’t, I would kill him. I had his life in my grasp and I let him go. I should have strangled the fucker then. Instead, I think I played right into his hands. As if I’d challenged him and this is his ultimate thrill, to find someone who is protected and prove he could get her anyway.
With frustration racing through my body, I fist my left hand and bang my arm up against my door repeatedly, while a ferocious yell rips past my lips. Needing to expel my frustration somehow and yet another regret. I should have killed him.
“Don’t you dare lose it on me, Dom!” Della shouts. “Don’t you dare. I need you,” she pleads.
Her words shake me from my own thoughts and I halt my actions immediately. “I’m sorry,” I say as I glance over at her. “It’s just I had a chance to take him out back in the motel room and I didn’t. I fucking should have ended him.”
“You said it yourself. We can’t kill them. We can only run. It’s better this way. We can’t make things worse.”
I nod, but what I don’t tell Della is that even if Lucini cancels the hit, gets what he wants from the O’Connor brothers, I don’t think that will stop Paulie. I think I baited a ravenous dog into his favorite game and now, whether I like it or not, it won’t be over until one of us is dead.
“Up ahead.” Della points. “There’s a right exit near a bridge. Either way, it should take us into a town. God, I hope so.”
Nodding, I signal to get into the right lane.
“I think I see them!” Della calls out, “A silver car is coming off our last exit.”
Silence stretches between us as I will the Dodge to drive faster.
“Do you think they can see us? I can only just see a silver car.”
“I don’t know, but if we ever go on the run again, remind me to never pick a fucking bright green car.”
Della looks at me and smirks. It’s not the time, but damn if me making her smile doesn’t send warmth straight to my chest.
The exit finally approaches and I take it. Following the road, it wraps right back around and we can choose between going up over the bridge or straight ahead to a set of lights. To our left in the distance, there’re buildings, hopefully stores we can hide in. Already thinking what I am, Della speaks for the both of us, “There. Some stores. Let’s head that way.”
The lights ahead of us are green and no cars in our way to slow us down. We turn left and pass a Hardee’s and Kum and Go. The next building is a shopping center.
“Della, any sign?” I ask as she’s still sitting on her knees, staring out through the back window.
“No, nothing yet.”
I gesture my head toward an upcoming right turn off the main road and onto what seems to be another entrance to the highway. “We’re getting back on and then jumping off at the first exit and heading west.” My words come out rushed and confident, yet I don’t have a plan. Thoughts race through my mind at what our next move should be, but nothing cements itself as a solid strategy I would bet my life on right now.
“Okay,” Della answers with a shaky voice.
I want to reassure Della and tell her everything is going to be okay, but I made a promise that I wouldn’t ever lie to her again. Tailed twice, found and cornered, just barely coming out unscathed; for the first time in a long time, I’m unsure about the future and whether I can truly protect Della in the murderous world I inserted her into.
Chapter Ten
Della
We drive for the next twenty minutes constantly looking over our shoulders, thankfully never spotting the Mercedes. We pass by houses, local businesses, and industrial buildings as we find ourselves driving down long deserted roads. The space between houses grows further apart the longer we drive. Soon enough there’s nothing but empty fields and telephone poles lining the road. A truck or car drives past us every so often, but not many. We’ve just begun passing farms with beautiful green fields, large red barns, and silos standing tall.
Abruptly, the Dodge begins to shudder and slow. “What’s going on?” I ask as I grab hold of my door handle to steady myself.
Dom peers down at the dash, confused. “I’m not sure.” Dom changes gears and pumps the accelerator, but the car continues to shudder while driving at a slow twelve miles.
A red light appears on the dash and begins blinking. “Fuck!” Dom curses. “There’s something wrong with the engine.”
Dread creeps into my blood stream, and my first instinct is to look behind me. Afraid this is the moment everything falls apart, and when we’re at our most vulnerable in a deserted area, I’ll look back in the distance and a silver car will be on our tail. We’ll have no way to run and nowhere to hide. My mind screams at me to get a grip; I only checked a few minutes ago, and there was no silver car coming this way, but it’s not until my gaze falls back on the long, dusty, and empty road that my anxiety subsides and I can think straight. We can get through this like we have everything else.
“I think we should pull over,” I suggest as the shuddering worsens and steam billows out of the engine.
Dom turns onto a small dirt road. It goes on for miles and easy to see from anywhere, but Dom doesn't stay straight ahead, he makes a sharp right, driving us off the road and down a short incline.
A squeal escapes me as the car speeds down the small hill and then bounces at the bottom. Dom directs the Dodge between bushes and trees.
After he turns the car off we hear hissing from the engine. We step out. Dom lifts the hood and stands back, waving his hands as heat surrounds us.
A passing car causes my head to snap up, but I can’t see it. If I stepped back a few meters, I probably could, but the incline and trees on the side of the road help conceal us and the Dodge.
Suddenly the hood slams down, and it causes me to jump and spin around to catch Dom punch his fist into the hood. “Fuck, the NOS blew up the engine. We’re screwed.”
Crinkling my nose and biting my thumbnail, I stare down at the ground. We need a plan. We can’t stand on the side of the road like a pair of sitting ducks. An idea comes to mind. I drop my hand, looking hopeful at Dom, but I find him leaning on the hood, head down, appearing tired and defeated.
“There’re farms all around us. We can walk to the nearest one, and I’m sure they’ll help us tow the car to a mechanic.”
Dom stands up straight, his eyes slowly meeting mine. “Good plan except most mechanic shops are going to be in town. Where Paulie and Greg could still be looking for us.”
“Well, what then? We sleep in the car until it magically fixes itself?” I say sarcastically.
Dom grins and creases appear around his eyes. As a reaction, I smile too, and suddenly we’re both laughing. Dom's deep and warm laughter fills my ears, surrounds me as if a heated blanket is draped over my body on a freezing day. I’ve always loved the sound of his voice, but it wasn’t until this moment that I knew his laughter would always be what I loved most.
I don’t know why we’re laughing so hard. Maybe our bodies are desperate for a small amount of relief from the constant fear and stress. My breath comes in small gasps and tears gather in the corner of my eyes, almost spilling over while I try to control myself.
The silence stretches between us as we attempt to regain our senses. When I think it's safe, I glance up at Dom and find him staring at me. Another giggle bubbles deep inside me, threatening to explode. It’s quickly extinguish
ed when the look in Dom's stare turns heated. A spark of recklessness in his eyes has my body straightening and taking a step back, while desire builds in the pit of my stomach.
I swallow past my dry throat as Dom takes quick steps toward me. One hand on my back, his other cupping my neck and before a single thought can enter my mind, his mouth brushes against my lips. Thoughts slip through at the contact. I could push him back, even slap him for touching me without my permission. However, for the first time in a long time, my mind loses out over my body's demands. My thoughts are mere whispers, unable to hold up against my greed for Dom. The love, lust, and craving I’ve pushed down repeatedly to keep myself safe rolls through my body like a tidal wave. I force Dom's soft kiss into a brutal one, digging my nails into his back. His deep, husky groan slides down my throat as if it’s the most delicate chocolate I’ve ever tasted. We can’t get close enough. We can’t kiss hard enough. Dom picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. My back hits the car, and we both grind against the other as if our lives depend on it.
“Not enough,” I pant through our kiss. Reaching down between us, I start undoing Dom's belt; however, he gently pushes my hands away and pops the top button of my jeans and then the zipper. Hesitation invades my mind as to why Dom stopped me. Why doesn’t he want my warm hands around his cock? The look in his eyes is so clear; hunger and yearning poured out from his beautiful brown irises. Questions materialize, but they don’t make it past my lips. Dom swipes his thumb over my clit once, twice, repeatedly until everything is forgotten; my surroundings and my unending doubts wiped away as if they never existed. Falling back against the car, a whimper slips out and even to my own ears I can hear my utter relief for the oblivion my mind now rests in. Dom flicks and rubs my clit to a beat that switches on all the lights; warmth flows through me and electricity ignites along every inch of my skin. My orgasm imminent, sparks shoot up meeting one another, all of them connecting and building the intensity higher until they are all joined and my orgasm strikes as intensely as a lightning bolt. The release is everything I remembered: an escape, a drug I’ll never give up. The world disappears, and I’ve gone beyond ecstasy. I'm not here or there, living or breathing, hurting or loving. I just am.
The sensation of my deep breaths is what first pulls me back to reality. Then the cold metal of the car against my back. My eyes slowly open and they’re captured by Dom's animalistic stare. His face is smooth, yet his tense neck and shoulders show how edgy he is.
Dom lifts his thumb into his mouth and sucks. His eyes close lazily and his neck arches as if he were groaning, but no sound comes out. My relaxed and sated body comes alive with my heart pounding in my chest. Dom opens his eyes and for a moment, all we do is stare at each other. At any other time, this might feel foolish, yet I think we’re both stuck between the world we crave and the one that is our reality. Our minds short-circuiting, our doubts and desires fight each other for supremacy. Which one will win?
Suddenly, Dom slides my zipper up and pushes my button back into place. With my legs still draped around his waist he lifts me from the car and my arms wrap around his shoulders. My head rests against his neck and Dom's earthy scent fills my senses causing my arms to flex and tighten around him. Memories of us together invade my thoughts. Images of us laughing, flirting, and fighting. A memory of Dom on top of me, smiling down while he was inside me. Then came the pain. His rejection and the sense of losing someone, grieving for the one person who didn’t want me. Lying on the grass by the train tracks, numb and half awake. Dom staring down at me with fear in his eyes. Hope. Then puzzle pieces began to fall into place.
Brett’s story had no more plot holes, but they weren’t filled with a hero's actions or sincere apologies. They were tainted with betrayal. The cloak removed and Dom was revealed and then came the pain… again.
Desperate to rebuild my walls, not only to keep Dom at a safe distance but also to keep my memories at bay. Remembering is the first slip down a long and frightening mountain. It’s a trick, starting with my happiest times and then when I’m at my weakest, open and vulnerable, it will drag me under amongst the dark and filthy faces that I’ve scratched out. They’re unrecognizable but not forever. The longer I stay defenseless and susceptible to hurt, the clearer they and my memories become. I can’t allow my hurt and pain to take over. I’m at my limit, equal measures to the good I’ve felt. Any more damage and I’ll be stuck in the dark forever.
“Stop.”
Warmth on my face causes me to refocus my eyes, and I find my feet on the ground, my arms slack by my sides and Dom's palm cupping my left cheek. He wipes away a tear I didn’t realize had fallen.
“You’re too absorbed in your own head. Stop thinking altogether and start talking to me.” Dom is now cupping my face with both hands, his eyes pleading with me to spill all my secrets. “Tell me what thoughts are causing you to cry.”
I should be turning from Dom and pushing his hands away, except I don’t. I can’t. Hearing sadness in his voice and seeing the desperation in his eyes, my mind trips over itself. Comfort him. Don’t get close. Relieve his pain. Save yourself and back away. Torn between what Dom needs and my own plan to protect myself, I quickly realize there’s a missing brick in my well-constructed wall: a hole Dom created. It feels as if he’s taken the brick from my bottom row, causing the wall to lean and crack.
“You. I was thinking about how much you hurt me.” My voice is soft. It was a fight to get the words out, my heart waging war to keep them inside; however, my survival instincts won in the end.
Push.
Dom abruptly releases my face as if I burned him, his hands hanging in the air from shock. “After we kiss, after I touch you so intimately, that’s your first thought? Remembering how much I hurt you?” Dom drops his arms and waits eagerly for my reply.
Managing to keep my voice steady and my expression blank, I lie, “Yes.”
Push.
Sensing a tremble in my hands, I cup them behind my back. My first thought was of Dom laughing. How his eyes squint and he glances to the ground while warmth explodes from his mouth. But with the good always comes the bad. Keep pushing. Make this the last time he questions your feelings for him. Show him no love resides here anymore. “I knew what I was getting myself into kissing you, Dom. I unbuckled your belt because I wanted to give myself some relief from this exhausting trip, which has gone so horribly wrong. And I got that moment of being somewhere else. Might have been by your hand, but you were the last thing on my mind.” I wonder if every time I lie, it leaves a mark on my soul? Soon there will be no room left.
Push.
Dom flinches and takes a step back, color fading from his face. He turns his back on me and stares into the trees, at nothingness. Slowly, his back, arms and shoulders tense and then Dom expels a heartbreaking roar into the air. Birds flee the trees, their speed showing fear as they fly away. Dom spins around, nostrils flaring and anguish in his stare. His mouth opens and closes, repeatedly. Words fail him each time.
Deciding there is nothing left to be said, Dom walks to the car, picks up both our bags and hangs them over his shoulders. He locks the broken-down Dodge and starts up the hill toward the nearest farm.
Following Dom up the hill, I expect to feel victorious. After all, I won. I decided to play my own game and I just moved up a space. I’ve longed for the day when I could hurt Dom as much as he hurt me. However, the only emotions running through me are sorrow and regret.
Life is not a game. No, it’s not, yet my brothers and I have been used as pawns too many times to count. Being a survivor gave us no reprieve. The good and honorable don’t win in this world, and this little girl, who had to grow up too fast, has had enough.
Chapter Eleven
Della
While I follow Dom to the nearest farm, I notice the sign in front of the property. It's falling off its hinges and facing sideways instead of the road. It says The Harris’s Corn Farm. The sign appears to have taken some beatings from a few
storms and no one’s come to fix it up.
Dom makes it to the side of the barn. He shrugs our bags off his shoulders and lets them fall to the ground. He looks back to me and points to the bags. I know what he means. He wants me to go there and stay while he checks out the farm. Before I have a chance to nod or reach the bags, he’s already leaving, walking around the back of the barn and out of sight.
Reaching the bags, I dust off the ground of brambles and wildflowers, deciding to sit down while I wait. Digging through my backpack for my phone, I pull it out, sighing; three text messages from Slater.
Don't forget to text me when you get to Hastings.
Actually, text me when you hit Minnesota.
Where are you now? You getting close yet?
Exhaustion takes over as it usually does with my overbearing brother. I decide since the messages are only fifteen minutes old, Slater can wait. I shove my phone back into my bag, and I make a mental note to text him back when Dom and I have figured out what we’re doing for the night.
Twenty minutes pass before Dom returns. His eyes stay on the ground as he walks over to me. He picks up the bags and without a word, he turns and heads back to the front of the barn.
He’s hurt. I understand that so I don’t call him out on his silent treatment. I know if it wasn’t safe for me to follow, Dom would have said something. So I follow. Turning around the corner, I just catch up as Dom enters the barn. The red double doors are cracked open just enough for us to fit through. Before walking in, I glance to my right and stare in wonder at the large foursquare house. It’s beautifully painted white and gray with large windows, which hold white frilly curtains on the inside. The porch out the back appears warm and inviting with intricately crafted beams holding it together.
