Beast Mode Todd

by Jordan Silver

  4

  I walked out of prison a thirty-two year old man who’d lost way too much. That little investment dad had made had come through and I had more money now than I did when I went in, but I still didn’t like the trade off. I’d rather have died poor than go through what I had for all the riches in the world.

  I hadn’t heard much from my cousin while I was away but I knew the business had taken off and was doing well according to my parents. I never had any reason to doubt him so I knew my money was there as well, and my name was on the papers as owner so I at least had that to come back to as far as work and something to keep me occupied.

  My focus wasn’t on money though; it was on her and what I planned to do to her. The first thing I did once I got out was go see my folks and let them know I was okay, before lying to them about where I was gonna be for the next couple of months. I didn’t expect my little experiment in operation hell to take that long but I was giving myself breathing space.

  I’d looked up the fiancé and found him to be an okay guy if rather nondescript. Not the kind of guy I’d imagined someone like her spending her life with. He was too clean cut, too, polished I guess is the word. She’d struck me more as the type to go for a jock, or at the very least someone more along the lines of the person I used to be. I mean why else had she come after me in the first place if he was her type?

  I’m guns and tats and this guy looked like the sight of a needle would send him into a tizzy. He was also about the homeliest motherfucker I’d ever seen. Something else about this whole situation that made no sense. But since I cared fuck all about her happiness, I didn’t waste too much time trying to uncover the story behind their peculiar match.

  They were both college grads with decent jobs making more than an okay living; that shit pissed me off too. It’s as if while my life went way-fucking wrong on account of her, hers had been all roses. What the fuck ever happened to karma?

  The fiancé was one of those soft types who looked like he hugged trees and shit so I wasn’t worried about any interference from him. As far as I could tell, he’d never been in a fight a day in his life. Never been in any kind of trouble that I could find. One of those goody two shoes types. Too bad I was about to fuck him up the ass with a shovel. Guilty by association.

  There was no time that I felt even a little bit guilty about what I had planned for her. When I was done her life will be fucked in more ways than mine, but I didn’t care. Where my suffering had an end, I meant to ensure that hers never did.

  I’d sacrificed for my country, had put my life on the line time and again to keep my countrymen safe. I wasn’t about to let her or anyone else get away with fucking me over after all that I had done. She has no idea what she’d unleashed, no idea what was just around the corner or to be exact, right next door. As the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold.

  After I left my parents the morning after I got out, I headed two towns over to the house I’d found for rent in her neighborhood. It was as if providence was on my side. Either that or the fact that I got the family that was living there the fuck out so I could move in.

  It wasn’t easy but I pulled enough strings to get that shit done. I needed the proximity for my plan to work and nothing was going to stop me. I started working on my plan to get them out the minute she moved in next door. It was a guy and his girl who were renting out the place on a month, to month basis.

  I waited three months before my release and put in a bid for the place, offering to pay more and a half a year in advance. Who doesn’t like money? The owner gave them notice and they moved out the month before I came.

  That sounds like a dick move but I was all outta fucks to give. Nothing like a rabid ass marine with a chip on his shoulder. People ought to learn to leave people alone. You never know what the fuck’s living behind the other guy’s eyes.

  Before this shit I wasn’t the type. I was more into saving lives than taking them, though I did plenty of that in the marines. I’d even go so far as to say I was a decent human being. Her little stunt had cost me and cost me big. If not for my captain going to bat I could’ve lost my medals, my pension; every fuck that I’d worked hard for. I dare anyone to tell me I should leave this shit alone. Fuck that!

  I moved in, in the dead of night under cover of dark and set up shop. This place wasn’t meant to be home so I brought just the bare essentials as far as clothing and food. The place was furnished so I had a bed to sleep in at night. The only thing of real interest to me is my new laptop and the surveillance equipment I was going to need to get the job of her total destruction done.

  I had a roadmap in my head of what I was going to do, still not sure how long I planned to drag this shit out for. But I was prepared for the long haul. The only certainties I had was what I was going to do, and the end result, which was putting an end to her cushy little life.

  Then I’ll step over her carcass and move the fuck on with mine. She’s lucky I’d given up thoughts of putting one in her head. But even as pissed as I am, I couldn’t bring myself to take her life, my conscience wouldn’t let me go that far. That, or the fact that plan B sounded more promising and would have longer lasting effects.

  For three days I’ve been holed up here putting the finishing touches on my master plan, making sure I had all my bases covered. Every once in a while I’d be tempted to rush shit but then I’d remind myself of the ass-fuck I’d be in for if I messed things up, and then I’d calm down again.

  I’ve been patient this long, but now that I was this close I was in an all fired hurry to get shit moving. Before I had no choice but to wait, now that I was no longer chained up like a dog, now that my time was my own and I had freedom of movement, there wasn’t really much to stop me walking a few feet down and breaking her fucking neck.

  By the end of the third day I’d had everything I needed in place and all that was left was the grand reveal. I’ve imagined this shit a million times, that first look on her face. What will it be? Will she be surprised, horrified, will she even recognize me?

  Before that summer five years ago I don’t think we’d ever laid eyes on each other, and the few times we did meet had been rushed and mostly in the evenings in somebody’s backyard under questionable lighting. I almost wish she wouldn’t recognize me, but somehow I think she would.

  I turned back to the room once I lost sight of her, flexing my fists as I stalked around the house. I’d been here three days and had already grown tired of the wait. I’d used that time to learn their schedules and the ins and outs of the little house she shared with her soon to be husband.

  My parents had tried talking me into staying close to home or at least letting them tag along somewhere, because although I hadn’t shared my plans, they knew me well enough to know that I never let shit go and I know how the fuck to hold a good grudge.

  Mom and dad both had drilled it into my head that I needed to let it go and go on with my life. I guess I shouldn’t have threatened to end her the first few times they’d visited me in the pen. It had been years since I’d done that, since I’d even mentioned her to them, so I was hoping they’d forgotten all about it. The look dad gave me just before I left said they hadn’t.

  It was good that she’d moved a few towns over so no one would blow my cover before I was ready, but that didn’t matter anyway since I only left the house to go next door to theirs when I was sure no one was home. I didn’t let myself think too much about the fiancé. I don’t care if he was the beatified saint of the last pope his ass was gonna get burned, casualty of war.

  He wasn’t even real to me at this point. As long as he stayed the fuck out of my way I’ll let him live. He fucks with me, all bets are off. This is between me, and the little Lolita. What he chose to do with the pieces I leave will be up to him, but I’m betting on him wanting out. From what I’d seen so far he didn’t strike me as the type to forgive and forget.

  I’d decided that today was the day to make my move. Everything was in place and the
re was no more need to wait. The sooner I got this shit started the sooner it would all end. I got a sweet little tingle at the thought as I took another sip of the alcohol that burned a path down my gut. I gave one last passing thought to the boyfriend since he was the only one I could see causing any hiccups, but I was ready for that contingency as well.

  He won’t be home for another few hours and they rarely had guests except for her parents or his on the odd weekend. I knew all this from tracking her moves while I was still on the inside. Like I said, these people put all their business out there for any asshole to see. I saw plenty and kept track in my handy little scrapbook, which I’d emailed to myself.

  I went to my computer and fired it up so I could keep eyes on her. She dropped her purse on a chair and made her way to the bathroom, shedding her clothes as she went.

  I didn’t watch her shower but waited instead for her to get dressed and make her way back to the kitchen to get dinner started. It was the same routine every day and I was hard pressed to reconcile this shell of a woman with the vibrant young girl who’d first approached me in that backyard that long ago day.

  She had no spunk as far as I could see, almost as if she were going through the motions. But nothing I’d seen from her million and one posts gave me any insight into this new person she’d become. It’s almost as if she’d locked herself off or some shit and I was thinking maybe there was something, other than the fact that she’d ruined me, that she hadn’t shared with the fucking web.

  I knew from eavesdropping on their lives that the relationship she was in was lukewarm at best. In every picture her eyes were dull and the smile never really formed on her lips. Instead of the cute little summer dresses I remember, she was now into something approaching a habit that covered her from head to toe. I think they call it a caftan, fuck I know.

  It wasn’t only her choice of clothing that had changed; it was as if the light had gone out of her. I could almost convince myself that she was punishing herself for what she’d done to my life by sabotaging her own, but I didn’t give a fuck about that shit either. Her self-flagellation meant fuck all to me. She couldn’t have been suffering all that much since she’d breezed through college, found herself a man, and was set to get married in less than a year. All in all she’d had it much better than I did.

  5

  I studied her now as she moved around the kitchen like a Stepford wife, something I noticed she did a lot, trying to get a feel for what the fuck was up with her. Had the town turned on her when her testimony fell flat and that side of things fell through?

  It’s true that I had once been something of a hero to the folks in my hometown, but I never heard any static about anyone giving her shit about it, and besides, she’d gone off to college not long after.

  Come to think of it, I don’t think she’d been back home since then except for the odd holiday here and there over the years. I’ll have to go back through my notes and see if I’d missed something, but I don’t see how, since I’d ate, slept and lived in her damn life almost everyday of the five years I’d been locked away.

  Nah it wasn’t that. I’d noticed the change in her from the beginning, when she first went off to college. Her updates were always the same mundane shit. No keggers, no all night parties, none of the shit you’d expect of a normal college kid away from home for the first time. Especially in a big city like the one she’d gone to. A waste of a good college experience if you ask me. But I guess if you have the life of another human being on your conscience it was kind of hard to yak it up. Not that I thought she gave a fuck.

  I took one last look at the monitor before heading for the backdoor. There was no racing pulse, no sudden jolt of conscience, no second-guessing myself. In fact I wasn’t even angry when I made my way to the wall that separated our houses and scaled it before making my way to her door. Nope, I was focused as fuck and ready for this little meet that was a long time coming. At least for me it was.

  I could hear her moving around as I rang the bell. I looked down at my tank and sweats, my arms covered in tats, my head still shaved really close and knew if the kill lights in my eyes weren’t on dim I’d scare the fuck out of her before I made it past the door. I didn’t want that, I wanted her at ease. It’s the only way to draw her into my web.

  Her soft reply of ‘coming’ set my heart to racing a bit, but I was sure it had nothing to do with seeing her again in the flesh after all this time and more to do with what was about to transpire in the next few minutes. It was the beginning of my well thought out plan for the destruction of her life. It couldn’t happen to a better person if you ask me.

  Like most small town denizens she didn’t even bother asking who it was before unlocking the door and pulling it open. I almost felt sorry for her naivety but that shit died a quick death. Her ass wasn’t that naïve five years ago; she could deal. I braced myself for what I have no fucking idea, but it was a good thing I did. Damn she’s gorgeous. Almost too pretty to destroy. Whatever!

  Her eyes widened when she saw me standing there. “Todd…” I didn’t let her get the words out, just pushed her back into the house and closed the door behind me. “Hello Mallory long time no see.” She stepped back and all the color drained from her face. Her hand went to her throat as she searched my face. I gave her enough time to see what lived there behind my eyes and saw realization sink in.

  “Don’t be afraid I’m not here to hurt you; let’s talk.” She fought for words and the smell of her fear was heavy in the air. I didn’t miss the slight tremble in her arms as she watched me as if expecting me to pounce. I made my way to the table and sat down like I’d been there a thousand times.

  “Aren’t you going to offer me something to drink?” I stretched my legs out in front of me and stared her down, knowing that for once I had the upper hand and that shit felt good.

  “I…sure, of course, what would you like?”

  “Nothing I’m good. Why don’t you have a seat?” I indicated the chair across from me with my chin and she walked on wobbling knees and fell into the seat like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

  Neither of us spoke for the longest time. I stared and she did everything she could to avoid looking at me. “So, how are you?” Her reaction would lead one to believe that I’d pulled a gun and held it to her head the way her body jerked and her fight or flight kicked in. I kept my tone deceptively mild and my pose as nonthreatening as I could muster under the circumstances. I hadn’t expected the blind rage that I felt even now.

  I’d half convinced myself that I was over the raw anger but apparently just the sight of her was enough to awaken the beast. Before she fucked my life I was a different man. There were certain things in life, certain lines that I dared not cross. Five years in jail had erased them all. I had no filter left and what little humanity war and bullshit had left me had been wiped out between those four tiny walls that had been my home for the last little while. She’s fucked.

  “What are you doing here? How did you find me?” Aren’t we just fucking brave? Though there was no hiding the slight tremor in her voice. She wasn’t fooling anyone. I took my time answering her, dragging it out, keeping her unsettled.

  “I always knew where you were; but that’s neither here nor there. Tell me, does your fiancé, or even your new friends and neighbors know that you destroyed a man’s life because he refused to fuck you?” Always go for the shock effect. Leave them guessing as to what level of mind-fuck you’re about to unleash. She swallowed hard and her eyes welled with tears.

  “I sent you a letter explaining…” I barely slanted my head to the side but it was enough to cut her off.

  “I see, you’re one of those. You think a few words on a piece of paper are enough to make up for what you’ve done.”

  “I was just a kid, it was a silly joke that got out of hand and besides the case was dropped, that part of it anyway. How was I to know that you would have drugs in your house?” that last one sounded a bit too accusatory t
o me. Like the fact that she was the one who sent those assholes to my home was somehow my fault.

  “Do you understand that had you not made up that story, had you not set them on me none of this would’ve happened? You were the one who got that particular ball, rolling sweetheart. I gather from your reaction you see nothing wrong with what you did back then. Am I to understand then that you believe you had no part in what was done to me?” She didn’t have an answer; I didn’t expect her to, but why make it easy?

  “I’m waiting. How has your life been? You follow any dreams, made any plans for the future?” I let that shit hang in the air as she swallowed around the golf balls that seemed to be gathering in her throat. She didn’t answer but I don’t think it was because she felt like being rude. More like she was trying to figure out what the fuck I was going to do to her.

  “I told you to relax. If I wanted to hurt you you’d be gone already.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Exactly what I said. If I wanted to do you bodily harm for what you put me through you’d be dead at my feet already.”

  “Then why are you here?” My words seemed to do the trick and she grew just a little bit relaxed, but still not all the way yet. I needed her to be, needed her defenses down so she’d least expect it when I did unleash on her ass.

  “I kinda thought we had unfinished business. I never really got to know you. It strikes me as odd that someone I barely knew could have such an impact on my life. I guess I thought I’d take care of that now; see why you did what you did. Make sense of the whole sordid mess.” I never knew I was such a good fucking liar. Something else I had to thank her for. My complete and utter corruption.

  “Don’t you find that a bit odd? Your actions just might be the most influential aspect of my life, go figure. I don’t think I ever said more than five words to you in my existence and yet here we are. You made a decision that impacted my life in a way that changed it and not for the better.”