Solid Stone: Choices

by E. G. Patrick

  I cry out in ecstasy as my orgasm intensifies! Now, I can finally fall asleep.

  Chapter 4

  “Adam”

  Leaving Chicago without her was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Difficult, hard, impossible, are normally just words with little meaning to me. I’m the master of the most complex mergers, dealing with difficult situations all the time. I’m a problem solver. Despite all of that, hearing her upset just made me crumble. I had to go to her, I just couldn’t leave.

  Delaying my flight was the easy part. As soon as she opened the door I knew she still loved me, and I’d never stopped loving her. I was going to tell her we should work things out, that I was a jerk for not supporting her and her career. I’d even give her more space when she needed it. But all that changed the minute she told me she thought I’d been cheating; it meant she didn’t trust me.

  Trust. Fuck, it’s so important to me. She ripped my heart out all over again. I wrack my brain trying to figure out why she didn’t trust me?

  Turning up the rock music doesn’t tune out my thoughts. I think back to when I hired Ray to watch over Violet. He had two objectives—to call me if she was in trouble, and if there were any guys sniffing around her. Luckily for me, and some poor guy, I never got that call.

  I keep telling her, ‘be good.’ I hope she knows, I think she’s good to the very core. I was her first, she, my milk and honey, my untainted perfection. I shake my head and tell myself to shut up! I get back to work, still missing her like hell.

  Chapter 5

  “Violet”

  I’m looking forward to the weekend. It’s my birthday and Ann’s planning to visit. She’ll arrive on Saturday morning. Only two days to go. I sing “Happy Birthday” in my head as I tidy up my apartment. Living in Chicago and fending for myself taught me a lot. Being with Adam taught me that relationships came with uncertainty—highs, lows, the tender and not so tender moments. I suppose I should feel grateful about adding that to my life’s tool box! I’m becoming better equipped. Adam did say ‘Life was full of experiences and that’s how we grow’. My sarcastic side chides, grows apart you mean. “Life’s a bitch right, but then you grow up!” I say to myself as a sardonic laugh escapes my lips. I’m changing, that’s for sure. Yeah, he still weighs heavily on my mind and in my heart, but I keep telling myself time, time will get you through this.

  I want to be excited about moving back, but living with my dad and his girlfriend dims some of that excitement. I know it’s only short term, and I should be grateful to have a place to stay until I find my own place. To add to that, the commute to work will be long, so I’ll need a rental car. I just know I’m going to be a third wheel, no matter what Dad or Barb say. I laugh at the pun.

  Just as I think about opening a can of soup, my phone rings. Digging in my bag I pull it out, it’s Ann. “Hiya,” I say into the phone.

  “Hi Vee,” her voice cracks.

  “Hey you sound terrible. Do you have the flu?”

  “I think I’ve caught a wicked virus and I’ve been off work for two days. I was hoping I’d feel better by now. Sorry, I won’t be able to make it this weekend. I don’t want to make you sick on your birthday, and the thought of getting on a plane makes me feel gross. I’m really bummed I can’t be there with you, but right now I can’t even keep food down. This sucks!”

  I’m disappointed, but don’t want Ann traveling when she sounds so terrible. “Don’t worry, I’ll take a rain check. You sound terrible, are you going to the doctor?”

  “Yeah, I have an appointment tomorrow morning. My doctor’s off so I’m seeing someone else, I’m that desperate.”

  “Good, you definitely need to go in. I hope Ted’s not sick.”

  “No, he’s fine and hasn’t been infected by me yet,” she manages a phlegm filled laugh. She says, “The assistant editor job is better than he expected. He’s much busier than before, but loves every minute of it. Are you excited about moving back?” Her voice cracks again.

  “I am. It’ll be great to see you more often, and Ted too, but living with my dad and his girlfriend, not so ideal. I’m grateful for a place to stay and I’ll start apartment hunting as soon as I get back. It’s pointless doing it from here; they go so fast in the city. A few weeks back I thought I had one lined up, but it was gone the same day. Hey, maybe during my search I’ll meet Mr. Right.” I swallow hard, knowing deep down I don’t want anyone else, and could shoot myself for saying that.

  Ann doesn’t miss a beat. “Speaking of which, have you heard from Adam since his surprise visit last month?” She almost sounds better for a moment. I’d told her Adam was in town.

  “He’s called me a couple of times. No long conversations, just quick check-ins making sure I’m okay and that’s all.”

  She blows her nose. “I wonder if he remembers it’s your birthday this weekend. You should call him and lay a hint.” She sounds mischievous—that’s Ann.

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Oh come on, you still love him, but you’re too, I don’t know, too something to admit it! I know you. Your voice changes when you say his name. I can’t see you right now, but your voice did change, even when I mentioned his name.”

  “Please stop pestering me about Adam. He’s my past and we’re barely even friends. He only checks in between meetings with only enough time for short two minute chats, nothing more. I hardly think that means he’s still interested in me.” I know for sure he isn’t, he told me.

  I’ve forgotten how quick she can be. “I remember a time when you thought he wasn’t interested in you, and you were wrong,” she pauses, “and then the guy chases you down the street, takes you for coffee and asks you to dinner the same night. Do you remember that? Well if you don’t, I certainly do, and I enjoyed saying, ‘I told you so’ too.” She can be so persistent.

  Yes, she was right then, but things are very different now. We have pain and history, and I’m no longer untainted. “Okay, I hear you, but trust me, there’s way too much water under the bridge now. I appreciate your good intentions, or at least I think they are?” We both laugh. She should be on a TV talk show, she’d do very well.

  “Whatever! Just call him. I can call him if you want me to?”

  Oh shit. I know I’d better get that idea out of her head. “Don’t even think about it! My life’s complicated enough with moving and finding a place to live. Not to mention, I still have to adjust to being back in my old office, it’ll feel like a new job for a bit. That’s more than enough excitement for now.”

  “That’s not exciting at all.” She sighs. “Okay, don’t worry. I won’t try to call him. Anyway, I don’t have his cell number, unless you want to give it to me. Come on imagine what a great weekend you’d have.”

  There’s a tiny part of me, that little voice saying, ‘just do it’. It would be interesting to see what puppet mastery she’d be able to pull off. The rational side of me knows he’ll never give me what I want, not now. He made that very clear, and he’s probably out of town anyway. I say firmly, “Drop it Ann, I can hear your wheels spinning. You’re making me worry, and it’s almost my birthday.”

  She sounds a little guilty, “Sorry, I don’t want to upset you. I was half joking you know.” I really want to tell her everything, but she’s sick and needs to rest, perhaps another day.

  “I know, but you can be so persistent sometimes.” I sigh and change the subject. “Can you get a refund for your ticket? I’ll be back next month so save your money.”

  “Yeah, I can get a refund. Look, I’ll meet you at the airport when you’re back. Email me your flight info. My head’s killing me so I need to lie down. I’ll call you on your birthday. Love you and can’t wait for you to move back, I miss you so much!”

  “Yeah, same here, and feel better. I love you too, bye.” I hang up still feeling disappointed that she’s not coming, and sorry for myself for being
alone on my birthday. Back in the kitchen I open a can of soup. As I pour the liquid into the saucepan I think about Adam’s gourmet cooking. I could do with some of that now. Sometimes life kicks you in the teeth and you’ve got to learn from it. My dad’s favorite expression comes to mind: ‘Everything happens for a reason and sometimes we don’t know why in the moment it’s happening’.

  With time to think, I torture myself, replaying our Gia encounters and trying to remember every single detail. I turn down the heat just before the soup boils over, and try to do the same with my erotic thoughts. Eating and sifting through email has become part of my evening routine again. Just before eleven, I go to bed.

  §

  It’s Friday and I’ve just gotten back to the office after two external meetings with Paul. My birthday’s tomorrow so Paul hands me a card.

  “Have a great birthday weekend!” He touches my shoulder and I smile at him.

  “You didn’t have to do this,” I protest. He smiles, watching me read the card. It says “To someone special.” The words are really thoughtful. I look up at him and smile again. “Thanks so much, and I’ll make good use of this.” He knows how much I enjoy reading, so the gift card he’s given me is a great idea.

  “You’re welcome. Are you looking forward to moving back soon?” He’s never asked me that before.

  “Yeah, I’m looking forward to being back in familiar surroundings and I really miss my dad.”

  “I get it, your life changed quite a bit moving down here. I hope you don’t regret it.”

  “I don’t! Living in a new city all by myself has made me aware of my self-worth. That’s a good thing I think!”

  “I’m really glad you feel that way.” He goes to walk away and turns back. “You should leave now and start celebrating early.” When I look at him more carefully, he seems a bit weary. I hope he doesn’t have the flu too.

  “No argument here! Thanks, I’ll do that.”

  Before I’m about to leave, Jane comes over to my desk. “Hey Vee, have a great birthday tomorrow and don’t forget dinner at my place on Sunday. The kids are looking forward to seeing you as much as I am!” She hugs me and I hug her back. Jane welcomed me with open arms here in Chicago and we’ve become good friends.

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. See you on Sunday.”

  Before heading home I stop at the store to pick up two bottles of wine, one for me and one for Jane on Sunday. At home, I put Paul’s card alongside my dad’s and Ann’s. It makes me realize what a small network I have. That’s okay, I’ve always preferred quality over quantity. Friday night comes quickly.

  Chapter 6

  “Violet”

  I open my eyes slowly, not feeling overly excited about my birthday—it’s just become another day on my own. Lying in bed, I decide to go shopping to use the gift card I got from Paul. I yawn and stretch, prolonging my time in bed. When it’s almost nine my body wills me to get up, as does my craving for coffee.

  Wrapped in my pink robe, I make my way to the kitchen. Just as I finish filling up the coffee pot my apartment buzzer goes. “Hello.”

  A man’s voice comes over the intercom, “Hello, I have a delivery for Violet Cole.”

  I press open. “Come up please.”

  I run my fingers through my tangled hair and quickly change into yoga pants, almost wiping out as I do. When I open the door there’s a delivery man behind a large bouquet of flowers, but what really catches my eye is the much taller and very handsome man standing beside him. Holy smokes! It’s Adam.

  He takes over when he sees I’m flustered, taking the flowers from the delivery man’s arms and confidently walking past him into my apartment. He puts the vase on the table and then gives the man a tip before closing the door.

  His eyes take seconds to lock on mine and he smiles. “Happy Birthday, these are from me by the way.” Fuck I love those eyes. The vase overflows with white tulips; he remembered.

  Still in shock, I say, “I wasn’t expecting you. Why didn’t you call me?”

  He smirks. “It’s your birthday, isn’t it supposed to be full of surprises?” My eyes scan him from top to bottom. He looks fantastic in dark fitted pants and a navy sweater that fits him perfectly. I’d love to wrap my arms around him, he looks so good, but I don’t.

  Still surprised, but actually glad to see him, I ask, “Do you want some coffee? I was just making some.”

  “Yes that would be nice, are the flowers okay on the table?” I nod and he follows me into the kitchen. I wonder if Ann really did say something.

  He leans against the counter, looking amazing. I pour him a cup of black coffee. He passes me the cream from the fridge. “You don’t take cream,” I comment.

  “But you do.” He remembered that too and we both smile. The kitchen is small so I have to squeeze past him. His hand accidently brushes my thigh, and his touch stirs something warm in me. He’s all smiles as he takes a sip of coffee, following me into the living room.

  “Thanks for the flowers, they’re my favorite,” I say, trying to think of what I might say next. I’m flabbergasted he’s really here!

  “I remember.” He’s just staring at me now.

  I look away pretending to admire the flowers. When I look back, I say more like myself, “I know how busy you are, did Ann have anything to do with this?”

  “Like I said, it’s your birthday, and while I did run into Ann, it was by accident.” Before I can interrupt him he says, “She was at my doctor’s office Friday morning and I bumped into her. Small world, huh?” He laughs. “What are the chances she’d be seeing my doctor because her doctor was off? Anyway, she looked really ill and mentioned she had to cancel her trip to see you this weekend. She didn’t say a word about your birthday, but I remembered.” He looks over at the flowers, giving himself a break too, I guess. “Anyway, consider me her proxy. I hope you approve?” His smile brightens up the entire apartment. He has no idea.

  “So she really didn’t call you and ask you to fly down here?”

  “No, we ran into each other just how I said.”

  I laugh realizing I’m in the oldest yoga pants I own and a sleeping T-shirt. “I must look a sight. I just got up minutes before you showed up.”

  “Actually, you look really good.”

  I want to be flattered, but I don’t allow myself. “Is everything alright? Why were you at the doctor’s anyway?”

  “For an annual check-up and blood work. You know how particular I am about that.”

  “Mmm, yes, I do. I’m just glad you’re not sick. Ann sounded terrible when I spoke to her.”

  “She still does. I’m sure the doctor gave her something.” He takes another sip of coffee, still staring at me. Being around him makes me feel uncertain. I mean, we’re just friends, but his presence makes me think of things that go beyond friendship. There’s still a comfort between us, even I can’t deny that.

  I ask, “So, how long are you here for?”

  “Until tomorrow, so I’m yours all day today. I hope that pleases you.” The thought pleases me more than I care to admit.

  “I’m glad you’re here. I was thinking this morning how I’d be alone on my birthday, and was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I was planning to go shopping, do you want to come?”

  “Funny, I was going to take you on a shopping spree for your birthday. I have a car waiting for us downstairs. I’d also like to take you to dinner tonight if you’re interested.”

  Okay, so this day is getting more exciting by the minute. Gone are my thoughts of boredom and loneliness. I’m even going to agree to the shopping spree—it’s my birthday, and well, we both know he can afford it. “Okay, fine. Let me take a shower and get ready. Do you want more coffee?”

  He grins, widely, “You go get ready and I’ll help myself to what I want.” I’m pretty sure I’ve just blushed, my face feels warm. I qui
ckly shower and blow-dry my hair. I take a few extra minutes picking my clothes and settle on a fitted white shirt that’s tailored at the waist, giving me a nice shape. I pull on a pair of fitted riding pants instead of jeans, and a pair of riding boots. Makeup done, I like how I look in the mirror.

  Adam looks up from his Blackberry and smiles. He looks so kissable. “You look nice. Are you ready?”

  “I’m ready.” I grab my coat and purse. He waves me in front of him. Out front, I see a black sedan with the same driver as last time. He says hello and opens the door. It’s not long before we pull up to the Magnificent Mile shopping area, where all the high-end shops are. I wave to the driver as he pulls off to find a parking spot. I look up at Adam and he looks down at me. “It’s your birthday, so where do you want to start?” I lose myself in his eyes for a second or two and then start walking. He follows me into Gucci.

  I remember looking in the window of the Gucci store back home. It was the purses I was interested in the most. Being with Adam makes me feel more comfortable in here. We’re approached by a friendly sales person and she focuses on me, which is something new. It was always Adam who seemed to get the attention of people first. “Hi, my name is Nicole, how can I help you?”

  Adam looks at me to answer. “Purses please.” We’re escorted into a room full of purses beautifully displayed on floor to ceiling shelves.

  His warm breath feels good against my ear as he whispers, “Pick whatever you want and how many you want.” I look up at him to make sure I heard right, his smile confirms it. It doesn’t take me long to linger over a brown hand-stained leather purse. Nicole brings it down for a closer look. It’s not the typical logoed style, which is why I like it. It’s understated enough, yet stunning to look at.

  “What do you think?”

  “It’s nice for everyday use,” Adam says.