Troubled Waters
Page 31
So he shut his mouth, his throat burning. He didn’t look at Jan.
The silence that fell between them turned lethal to his resolve to keep the story to himself. He blew out a breath. “I was in a car accident when I was ten, in the middle of a blizzard, and I . . . I wanted to go for help, but . . . anyway, I watched my mom die right in front of me. So . . .”
He clenched his teeth against a crazy, forbidden, and ancient grief. Strange, but he decided to blame Jan and her uncanny resemblance to Elyse Remington.
“I’m sorry,” Jan said.
He looked out at the storm. “I should have hiked out.”
“And get lost in the storm? You were ten.”
He blinked at her for a second, then caught up. He was actually talking about the storm raging here, on the mountain. Nevertheless, Jan’s words still sunk in, found grip, broke him free of the darkness.
He stopped shivering and held out his hand to the warmth of the flames. “I’ll leave at first light. We’ll get you out.”
“Richard’s injuries aren’t life-threatening.” Jan grabbed his hand, squeezed. “I’m a doctor, trust me. We’ll be okay. It’s enough to know we’re not alone.”
Not alone.
And somehow—Ty could blame fatigue, the storm, maybe even the ache in his knee—but right then Brette Arnold tiptoed into his brain.
Even after nearly eighteen months, she still had the power to run an ache through his bones, right to his heart. With it rose a desire to hit something, to let out a shout.
In his less sane moments, it even caused him to resume his search for her.
Because, deep in his gut, he knew that she was in terrible, painful, probably overwhelming trouble. And regardless of the fact that she hadn’t had the courage to stick around, didn’t have the courage to reach out, didn’t have the courage to admit she needed him . . . she did.
And, if Ty knew one thing, his gut was rarely, if ever, wrong.
Acknowledgments
I admit it—I sometimes try too hard. I want to be all things to all people, to meet their needs, be their hero, let them never forget they’re loved. Why? Because I want to be important to them, not forgotten.
I have Sierra’s problem. See, when you grow up as an adopted child—or, like Sierra did, as a forgotten child—you just have to make sure that there is no reason for someone to reject you. So, you push yourself to do everything right, to earn people’s love.
And somehow, you start to believe that you also have to earn God’s love.
I discovered this ailment as I wrote Sierra’s story. Poor Sierra—she had a double whammy with Ian rejecting her, over and over. It only deepened her wound, her need to be needed. Her need to prove herself.
But we don’t have to prove ourselves to a God who already loves us. Who has already said, “You’re what I want” and proved it by reaching out in love to save us. Romans 5:8 says that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Long before we could do anything to prove we were worthy, he decided we were.
So it’s a little silly to try and prove it now, right? And oh, sure, you might try and confirm to God that he made a good decision, but he already knows that without your help. So it’s time to change my perspective . . . my “trying” needs to be about my joy, my response to the salvation that is already offered. Already proven.
And as for Ian . . . well, we’re a self-sufficient lot, we humans. We don’t like having to depend on other people, don’t love reaching out for help. We don’t like to be beholden. But God isn’t a God who keeps score, who we can bargain with or impress enough to cajole him onto our side of the equation.
Just because bad things happen doesn’t mean that God is not there, that he doesn’t love us. In fact, our troubles are often a divine offer from God to trust him. And, the way we decide to look at our troubles is the first step of faith. A choice to believe God loves you. A choice not to live in fear. A choice to trust God.
We either embrace the fact that he loves us or we walk away from that truth and go it alone, like Ian did for so many years.
You might consider letting God take the helm. See what happens.
Thank you for reading Ian and Sierra’s story! The adventure continues in book #5, Storm Front, with Ty Remington and the mysterious Brette Arnold. She’s back . . . but with what secrets?
Of course every story has a host of people who walked beside me on the journey.
My deepest gratitude goes to the following people for everything they do to help me bring these stories to life on the page.
Christi Cameron—for naming Ian’s boat, the Montana Rose!
MaryAnn Lund, my beloved mother, who taught me what it meant to trust God in the midst of trouble. I miss you.
Curt Lund, for your continued ideas, guidance, and support in helping me craft great stories. You’re a treasure to me!
David Warren, talented story-crafter, truth-teller (Mom, this scene is boring!), and great encourager. You are a born storyteller. Thank you for seeing my vision and helping me flesh out characters and scenes. I know I’ve said this before, but really, you’re my secret weapon.
Rachel Hauck, my brilliant writing partner! For always listening, always caring, for being my sister in this journey. You are my other secret weapon!
Andrew Warren, my dearest friend. Loyal, patient—you feed me when I forget to eat, help me flesh out what a guy would say, and know when I just need to disappear and write. You are my hero.
Noah Warren, Peter Warren, Sarah and Neil Erredge, for being my people. I know I can always count on you, and that is a rare and beautiful thing. I love you.
Steve Laube, for being the one dispensing wisdom. I’m blessed to have you on my team!
Andrea Doering, for believing in the Montana Rescue series, for your wisdom about storylines and characters. I am so grateful to work with you!
The amazing Revell team, who believe in this series and put their best into making it come to life—from editing to cover design to marketing. I’m so delighted to partner with you!
To my Lord Jesus Christ, who loved me long before I loved him. Who is enough. I trust you, no matter what troubled waters may come.
Susan May Warren is the USA Today, ECPA, and CBA bestselling author of over fifty novels with more than one million books sold. Winner of a RITA Award and multiple Christy and Carol Awards, as well as the HOLT and numerous Reader’s Choice Awards, Susan has written contemporary and historical romances, romantic suspense, thrillers, romantic comedy, and novellas. She can be found online at www.susanmaywarren.com, on Facebook at SusanMayWarrenFiction, and on Twitter @susanmaywarren.
Montana Rescue Novels by Susan May Warren
Wild Montana Skies
Rescue Me
A Matter of Trust
Troubled Waters
www.susanmaywarren.com
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