Devil May Care

by Patricia Eimer

  “Fine.” I pressed closer, lifting my face to his for another kiss. “But we really do need to talk later. Not like a ‘let’s see other people’ talk or ‘surprise we’re pregnant’ or anything but this is still sort of important. Okay?”

  “As long as it’s not the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ talk I’ll defer to your judgment,” Matt said. “But if you want to talk about whatever it is before I go then that’s what we’ll do and I’ll figure out some way to explain my sudden appearance at work.”

  “Agghhh!” Lisa’s scream echoed through the apartment.

  I pulled away from Matt and looked down the hallway. He twisted around and I hopped off his lap, torn between finding out what the heck happened to my roommate and trying to persuade my boyfriend that his career would not be harmed by coming in late just one day.

  “Never mind.” Matt quirked an eyebrow at me and stood. “It sounds like your attention might be needed elsewhere.”

  “Spoilsport,” I muttered.

  “Have a good day.” Matt gave my cheek another kiss before releasing me and making his way to the door.

  “You too,” I said.

  “I’m going to kill her!” Lisa screamed, storming into the living room, covered in a white towel. “I’m going to murder her, then I’m going to have you bring her back to life, and after that I’m going to kill her again.”

  “I’m not actually so good at the whole resurrection thing.” I wrinkled my nose. “I mean I can do it, but it never quite turns out the way it’s supposed to. Maybe you could ask Jesus to do it as your wedding present? Otherwise he’s going to go with one of the old standbys and you don’t need another blender.”

  “I don’t care how messy it is. In fact, I want it to be messy. Because I’m going to tie her down and pluck out every one of her feathers one by one. Then I’m going to get her luggage and burn every one of those awful twinsets while she lays there and pleads for mercy.”

  “Okay, a bit harsh.” I knew I wasn’t going to like what was coming next. But I had to know. “What did Brenda do now? Besides call me fat?”

  “Oh, this transcends the fat comment,” Lisa seethed. Her eyes were blood red and hellfire crackled around her. The power flickered and thunder rumbled in the distance. “This is in a whole different league.”

  “What did she do? She’s not even here.”

  “Go look in the bathroom.”

  Humoring her, I headed toward the bathroom and pushed open the door. My heart sank. The place was spotless. It sparkled. But worse than that, Brenda had organized Lisa’s stuff. No wonder Lisa was pissed. Who wouldn’t be if someone came into your bathroom and rearranged all of your personal junk? There’s nothing worse than not knowing where someone stashed your birth control.

  My stomach sank to my toes. “She reorganized it.”

  “That’s not the worst part,” Lisa said. “Look at the trashcan.”

  Look at the trashcan? What could she have done to the trashcan? I looked over at the white plastic bin and noticed the bright yellow bag peeking out the top. Oh, no she did not. Please, sweet Alpha, tell me she didn’t. I sniffed and curled my nose up at the subtle, sickly sweet stench coming from the bathtub.

  “She used all of it,” Lisa said, her eyes flashing and her tail whipping back and forth. “Every single bit of the stuff we bought from LUSH yesterday. All at once. Look at the tub. It’s got a blue ring around it.”

  “I’ll replace it all.” I knew how particular Lisa was about her baths.

  Lisa’s ritual was breakfast and a bubble bath before she found my brother. No matter what was going on she needed that. Before she walked into that bathroom, try as she might, she was Lisa DeMarcos, Post Surgery Nurse. Once she’d soaked for a bit she became Lisa DeMarcos, Demon of General Unhelpfulness and Future Consort to the Crown Prince of Hell. Messing with her bath stuff was like starting a war. And Brenda had no idea what a pissed off demoness ready to throw down could do. Even one who was as weak as Lisa.

  Lisa cracked her knuckles. “She used it like it was no big deal. I’m going to kill her and then I’m going to eat her.”

  “Please don’t. Things are touchy enough with Matt already because I pushed him to let her stay. If you eat her I don’t know what will happen, but I’m sure the words I told you so will be used at least once.”

  “Fine,” Lisa huffed. “I’ll wait. But once we’ve dropped her off at Deidre’s, she’s fair game. I may not go after her right away, but I promise you this: one day, when she least expects it, Brenda and I are going to have a long discussion about not touching other people’s things. And she may not come out of it whole.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I walked into the hospital that night for my shift and glanced down the corridors, trying to avoid the software engineer who worked oddly late hours. I breathed a sigh of relief when I didn’t see him. Maybe now that he’d done the palm scans he’d stay on the day shift?

  I didn’t know what I wanted to happen more—to find out Dan had figured out our problem and solved it, or to find out he hadn’t. I knew what I should want to happen and that was for him to find the security breach ASAP and then get the hell out of my hospital and my life. The only problem was the stupid, nostalgic part of my brain that wanted to see him again, to hear him tell one of the corny jokes I’d always loved, and to basically just know that he was okay and I hadn’t broken him in some secret, indefinable way that even the Alpha wasn’t able to fix. But some part of me couldn’t help wanting to get the chance to see him one last time and say good-bye. Just this once.

  “Faith!” Sally, our evening shift human resources director, called.

  I tried not to groan at being caught in the hospital gossip-spider’s web. “Hi, Sally.”

  “Faith, I’m so glad I found you.” The plump redhead stood in front of me in a kelly green dress that made her look like a Christmas tree with her hands on her hips. I knew for a fact Sally once had a man tell her she looked like a “bonnie Irish lass” when she wore green because of her red hair, and she was going to keep working that compliment until her dying day. “Come on. I need to talk to you alone.” She pulled me into the locker room and hurriedly closed the door behind her, locking it.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Dr. Turnbow was visited by a police officer today. About Harold.” Sally’s mouth was set in a grim line, but she smelled like bubble gum ice cream, which was her personal Eau de Ecstatic. Gossip was her lifeblood and a police visit to the head of the hospital was like Christmas, her birthday, and a magic diet that lets you eat donuts but look like a supermodel, all rolled into one.

  “About Harold?” I hurried past her toward my locker so she couldn’t look me in the eyes.

  I spun the dial of the padlock on my locker around a few times to make it look like I was using the combination, then gave it a brief, subtle zap so it actually would open. Alpha forbid, I’d never actually used the lock. I probably wouldn’t be able to remember the code if I tried.

  “Well, you know the whole subject has been rather touchy. Harold’s officially on an indefinite leave from the hospital but the truth is, no one knows what happened to him.”

  “He disappeared, didn’t he?” I hoped I sounded innocent. Harold had done anything but disappear. Which was my biggest problem. I clocked in for my shift and tried to formulate a way to get out of here without looking suspicious. “Didn’t he just leave one night and never come back?”

  “We were all speculating that he was running away from something, most likely his alimony debts. When he first went missing Dr. Turnbow called the police but they couldn’t find anything. They said his house didn’t appear to be broken into, and his office looked like he’d just stepped out for a cup of coffee and never came back. Which I thought was suspicious, because what sort of man just walks out and never comes back? The police put out a missing persons alert but he’s a grown man, and according to the State of Pennsylvania he can just disappear and there’s nothing they can do abou
t it. I think that’s the wrong way to do things, but who listens to me?”

  “Look Sally, interesting as this is…” I grabbed the various things I always kept in my scrub pockets—an emergency stash of gloves, pens, finger puppets, and a couple of dime store toys to bribe my patients—before I slammed the locker shut.

  “They found Harold in the North Allegheny Waste Disposal Facility.” She stepped between me and the exit so I couldn’t escape from her announcement. “In a container of biological waste that came from our hospital.”

  “What?” I never expected them to actually find his body. I always thought it would have decomposed and no one would have been the wiser. Isn’t that what happens in those mob movies?

  “Someone killed Harold and stuffed his body into one of our Dumpsters,” Sally repeated. “And the last night he was on duty was the night after the MEDTECH break-in.”

  This wasn’t good. We did not want the police to link these things together. Hell, we didn’t want them to even investigate what happened to Harold, but now that he had been found it seemed pretty likely they would. I just hoped it wouldn’t somehow trace back to me or, even worse, to Lisa. I could lie to save my own ass, but she was so lousy under pressure, she’d crack and confess to killing him before they ever asked her a question.

  “Do you think they’re related?” I crossed my arms over my chest and shoved my hands into my armpits to hide the way they were trembling.

  “I don’t know. The police seem to think Harold may have been mixed up in a scheme to steal drugs from the hospital and sell them on the street. But whoever he was stealing the drugs for may have killed Harold to keep him quiet.”

  “No way.” I shook my head, feeling honor bound to protect my phantom friend. “Harold would have never taken drugs that were meant for the children in this hospital. Never.”

  “But…” Sally shifted her weight from one foot to another.

  Harold was a good doctor and he’d never, not in a million years, steal medicine from this place. Rogers was his life and there was no way I was going to let them destroy his reputation by suggesting he was involved. Yes, he was an ass-grabbing breast-ogler who still couldn’t be certain my eyes were green without checking them first, but he was a good doctor.

  “He wouldn’t have done it,” I insisted and pointed my finger at her. “If Harold’s death and the MEDTECH security breach are in any way related, Harold must have discovered who stole our morphine, and when he confronted them about it they killed him.”

  That would give her something else to think about. Who said Harold couldn’t be the hero? He’d like that. Going out in one last great blaze of glory. Even if it wasn’t true. Plus it would give us a convenient scapegoat for Harold’s untimely death.

  “I know you don’t want to think ill of the dead—” Sally stepped out of my reach, holding her hands up in front of her.

  “Harold wouldn’t have done that.” I was done with this conversation. I spun on my heel and stormed away. “I don’t care what Administration thinks. Until I see a video of Dr. Winslow stuffing that morphine into his lab coat and walking out of this hospital with it I refuse to believe he would steal from these kids.”

  “Well, I have to admire your loyalty.” Sally followed me to the time clock. “But since you brought him up, have you met with the young man MEDTECH sent over? Talk about gorgeous. I mean I know you’ve got your own piece of seriously yummy man at home but this guy could give your boyfriend a run for his money.”

  “Dan? I met with him yesterday. We walked through what happened during our security breach but that was about it. I didn’t notice if he was attractive or not, like you said, I’ve already got my share of handsome at home.”

  “How could you not?” Sally leaned against the wall beside the clock while I swiped my badge. “I mean sure you’ve already ordered off the menu but who doesn’t at least compare the steak to the lobster in a restaurant? I mean seriously, Faith, on a scale of one to ten—the MEDTECH engineer is a solid twelve. Even better he seems like he’s such a sweetheart. He’s the total package—handsome, sweet, and very polite.”

  “Sure. He seemed nice enough but I’m still really not interested.”

  Dan was a nice, polite guy. His mother, who used to adore me before the whole Faith never existed at any point of reality in Chicago for you or any of your friends and family thing that the Alpha did to Dan, had drilled it into his head from the time he was young. He also knew the best times to lay it on thick in order to get what he wanted. Not in a sick, manipulating sort of way, but somehow he always managed to persuade people to do things according to his plans and then make the same people think it had been all their idea. Sally was definitely vain enough to eat that type of flattery up with a spoon and ask for seconds.

  “Well,” she sighed. “I’m glad you two got along, even if you have suddenly become blinded by love. I hope that you won’t have any problem working together.”

  “Why would we? But I really need to go, Sally. I’m supposed to be on the floor in—” I pretended to look down at my watch. “Less than five minutes. So if you’ll excuse me?” I didn’t wait for her to answer before I unlocked the door and headed out of the room toward the elevators. If I was lucky I’d have time to find Harold before I was due on my floor.

  “Hey, kiddo.” The ghost of the moment’s voice was soft in my ear and his translucent form shimmered into visibility next to me while I walked to the elevator. I jabbed the elevator button as hard as I could then glanced over and gave him a weak smile. Today he was in a black, three-piece suit with his hair neatly combed. He looked like he was going to a funeral.

  “Hey Harold.” I bit my lower lip. “What’s with the monkey suit? You’re normally much more golf pro casual.”

  “Yeah well…” he trailed off. “I guess you heard the news?”

  The elevator in front of us dinged and a group of visitors and patients stepped out. I entered the empty elevator alone. When the doors closed I hit the button for my floor and gave him a weak smile, all the fight going out of me at the look of misery on his face. If this was bad for me and Lisa I couldn’t imagine how he felt. “I heard they found your body.”

  “Yeah,” Harold said, his voice wavering. He sniffled. “Do you know I went to visit all four of my former wives and only Harriet seemed upset? I knew I should have stuck with her instead of being a bastard and chasing women. She was too good for me.”

  “I’m sorry.” I patted the air where his hands should have been and hoped the sentiment counted for something. It wasn’t like there were too many ways you could physically comfort a depressed ghost.

  “I married her my senior year of college on a whim,” Harold continued. “I was finishing up at Penn State and had gotten my admission letter to Yale Medical. I was so happy that I thought I was going to burst. There we were in this little diner near campus and I got down on one knee and did it. Just blurted everything out. Told her I loved her and couldn’t imagine living without her. I didn’t even have a ring.”

  “It doesn’t sound like she minded.” I tried to nudge his shoulder, sending out as much positive energy as I could muster. Which, given the whole demon thing I had going on, wasn’t much. “She did marry you without it.”

  “I had to use my class ring from Penn. It was so big it only fit on her thumb and even then it just hung there. Ten months later there was Annie. Beautiful as her mother but a little loudmouth like me from the moment she was born. I cried like a baby when they finally let me hold her.” He sniffled again and waves of misery poured off of him. The elevator was five degrees colder than normal and the walls had become damp. I’d heard it was possible for ghosts to manifest strong emotions into physical reactions but Harold had gotten upset enough to make the walls of an elevator cry. Like the ghostly equivalent of stepping-onto-a-ledge-and-ending-it-all bad.

  “Is there anything I can do?” Even though Harold was annoying I’d gotten used to him, and the idea of him giving it all up to walk into th
e light bothered me more than it should have.

  “What?” Harold laughed, humorlessly. “Are you going to drop by their houses and tell them you received messages from the other side? That I’m happy? That I love them both?”

  I swallowed. The last thing I wanted to do was go pretend to be a psychic and lie to Harold’s family. I’d do it, if it made him feel better, but I wouldn’t like it. “If you want.”

  “Let them grieve on their own. People aren’t meant to get messages from the other side. It never gives someone peace. They just suffer longer.”

  “Are you sure?” I tried to give him my most encouraging smile. The elevator stopped and I turned back around so people wouldn’t think I was talking to thin air.

  “Yeah.” Harold floated out of the elevator beside me, his outfit changing from the dark suit to his normal khakis and polo shirt with a lab coat and stethoscope over the top of it. “You could go to my funeral, though.”

  “Of course,” I muttered, trying to keep my voice low. “I wouldn’t make you go to that by yourself.”

  “And you and Lisa could spring for some nice flowers,” Harold continued. “Since the two of you are responsible for my death. Not that I have any grudges or anything, but a big spray of flowers would be nice. Or you could give a healthy donation to a charity in my name.”

  “Fine,” I whispered before swiping my badge at the PICU security door. “Anything else?”

  “Then go visit my other three ex-wives and tell them you’re a psychic who has been in communication with my spirit. Tell them I’m happy and deeply satisfied to know that none of those greedy, conniving bitches are going to get a dime of my money. And, that if any of them even thinks about harassing Harriet or my baby girl I’ll haunt their asses for all eternity.”

  “Deal.” I pulled the door open, stepping into my second home and getting sucked into the whirlwind of a busy nursing unit.

  Six hours later I slumped down in my chair at the nurses’ station and took the bottle of Mountain Dew that Tonya, one of my floor nurses on the night shift, handed me. “Nectar of the Gods.”