Devil May Care

by Patricia Eimer

  I laughed and took a large drink, savoring the change. “You realize Mom paid three hundred dollars a bottle for that champagne, right?”

  “I think that makes it taste worse.” He laughed. “Besides, it’ll be our little secret. Your father has already turned his and about half the other guests’ drinks to whisky anyway so it’s his ass she’ll go after first.”

  “That’ll make an interesting honeymoon. I’d be prepared to control a demonic incident in Hawaii next week if I were you.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” He said, and we both stood there watching the silly demons in front of us for a few minutes, not bothering to talk.

  “Hey, Faith?” He took my hand in His, His tone suddenly serious. I knew that the polite small talk had come to an end. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry for everything.”

  “Me too.” I pulled my hand away before taking a long drink of my beer.

  “If I had any other choice—”

  “Please don’t,” I said.

  “But—”

  “You and him”—I pointed to my father with my glass of beer—“The two of you have nothing but choices. It’s the rest of us who have to live with them. So don’t tell me there was no other way. You made a choice and now I’ve got to live with it.”

  “Would you rather I let him die? Or perhaps I should have destroyed the Angale when they first started? Strangled them to death in their infancy? Then he’d have never existed and who knows what we’d be facing now? Because trust me, with or without Matt Andrews in the picture, this has been coming for a long time.”

  Instead of answering, I walked away. I loved my uncle but the last thing I needed right now was to listen to Him justifying why, for once, He couldn’t just be fair.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Lisa said the next morning. She tugged on the hem of her dress and followed me up the front steps of the funeral home. “I’m getting married in”—she looked at the gold watch on her wrist and glanced back at me—“less than four hours.”

  “This shouldn’t take more than a half hour,” I replied. “Besides, we owe it to Harold. He’d do the same thing if it was us.”

  “Of course I would,” the spirit in question said, appearing next to me in a somber black suit. “I mean after all, I did plan on making it to your wedding, which happens to be on the day of my memorial service. If I can make it without a conflict, you should be fine.”

  “Point taken.” Lisa nodded and gave Harold a warm smile. We stopped at the guest book, and I hastily scrawled both of our names before taking two of the donation envelopes and putting anonymous cashier’s checks for $100,000 in each. In lieu of flowers Harold’s family was asking that donations be given to Ronald McDonald House charities. Fitting, all things considered.

  We stepped into the reception room and found ourselves face to face with a middle-aged woman wearing a black pantsuit that set off the gray in her short bob so that it looked like liquid silver. She gave us both a disgusted once over and the smell of rage and affronted dignity wafted off her like rotten eggs mixed with burnt tea.

  “Hello, this is a private memorial. One meant for my father’s friends and family.”

  Harold sucked in a breath beside me, and I could feel his presence wavering. Not that I blamed him. I was a demoness and his daughter was sort of scaring me right now with the vibes she was giving off.

  “We were friends of your father,” I said and gave her a sad smile. Lisa kept her head down and didn’t say anything. “Well, work friends you could say. We’re very sorry for your loss.”

  The woman’s eyes were red rimmed and I could tell she was trying to keep herself under control so she didn’t break down in front of the assembled crowd. “My mother is already upset, and she doesn’t need any more of Dad’s little flings showing up. Can’t you people leave us in peace?”

  “We weren’t flings,” I said, keeping my voice low, so I didn’t embarrass anyone. Lisa’s face flushed, and I hoped that Harold’s daughter thought it was out of modesty and not because I was lying through my teeth to protect her. “We are nurses who worked with your father and respected him a great deal. We only wanted to come pay our respects.”

  “Oh,” Anne said, her shoulders slumping and her eyes filling back up with a light sheen of tears. Gone was the Amazon prepared to go to war to defend her mother, and back was the woman who’d lost her father years ago and hadn’t gotten the chance to make her peace with that yet.

  I felt sorry that she and Harold couldn’t fix their relationship now that he was gone. Although, given how persistent he was, I wouldn’t be surprised if he came up with something.

  “Thank goodness,” she said. “We’ve had a parade of tarts coming through these doors acting like they owned the place. That bitch Mona has been a total nightmare, screaming about how she’s going to contest the will and how she’s owed something now that Dad is dead.”

  I took her hands in mine. “There are kids, well adults, too, if you think about it, that are alive today because of what an amazing doctor he was. We’re all going to miss him and we won’t do anything to ruin his memorial. Harold was as much a part of our family as he was yours.”

  “Thank you.” She pulled me forward, toward the picture mosaic of Harold dominating the front of the room.

  “I don’t know if they told you he was a hero,” Lisa broke in. “With what happened to him I mean.”

  Anne nodded. “The police told us. Mom said she wasn’t surprised. She always claimed he had more guts than he did common sense.”

  “She did say that,” Harold murmured. “Harriet always claimed I was her stupid knight in shining armor. ‘Where fools rushed in,’ she’d tell me, ‘that’s where I’ll find you, Harold.’”

  “He used to tell us that, too,” I told Anne.

  “He did?” another voice piped up beside us.

  I looked over toward the voice and saw a slender woman with her gray hair tied back in a knot and a demure black sheath dress staring at us. Harold froze beside me, and I knew the woman in front of us had to be Harriet.

  “Yes, Mrs. Winslow,” I said. “We worked at Rogers Hospital with your husband. Lisa was one of his surgical nurses, and I’m the night shift charge nurse on PICU. I’m Faith Bettin—”

  “Faith Bettincourt,” she said and stuck her hand out.

  “Yes.” I took her hand and shook it. “Your husband mentioned me?”

  “Not while he was living.”

  I glanced at Harold out of the corner of my eye. He shrugged and held his hands up like he had no clue what she was going on about.

  “Mom.” Anne wrapped her arm around her mother’s shoulders. “The doctor told you those were just vivid dreams and that they were part of the mourning process.”

  “That’s okay.” I sat in one of the chairs at the front of the room and Harriet took the one beside me. “I’m always fascinated in hearing other people’s dreams.”

  “Right about the time they said my Harold died, I had this dream and a dark-haired young man with a ponytail came to me and told me Harold was gone and I’d never see him again. But that it was okay, because my Harold was going to help you save the world.”

  “Well, I don’t know.” I detached my hand from hers. I was going to kill J when I saw him again. What the Hell was he thinking going out and interfering in people’s dreams? Way to keep a low profile. Not. “I am just a pediatric nurse after all.”

  “You’re so much more,” Harriet said and patted my cheek. “Even I can see that.”

  “Okay, Mom.” Anne smiled at me, her cheeks turning red, and shook her head. “I think it’s time we get you another sedative. The emotions of the day are starting to get to you.”

  “I think you’re just worried about your mother sounding crazy,” Harriet said when her daughter led her away.

  “That was weird,” Harold muttered. “Harriet never was one for paranormal mumbo jumbo before now.”

  �
�And you were?” I asked.

  “Not until I became a ghost.”

  “See? There’s always time for personal growth,” I said. “Now I take it the cluster of hideously dressed harpies in the corner are the Three Ex-wives of the Apocalypse?”

  “That would be them.” Harold nodded. “Mona, Kitty, and Jannelle.”

  “Right.” I threw back my shoulders and stalked over to them. “Ladies?”

  “Yes?” the dark-haired one in a spandex, leopard print mini dress asked.

  “I have a message from the Great Beyond for the three of you. Courtesy of Harold.”

  “Uh-huh?” The blond ex-wife tugged at the top of her skintight black pantsuit, adjusting it so even more cleavage popped out. “What’s that? The money is buried in the cellar?”

  “No.” I shook my head and gave her my sweetest smile. “Harold said to tell you that you’re all money-grubbing, backstabbing bitches, and he’s glad to know he’ll never have to see your sorry faces again. Oh, and every single dime of his money is going to Harriet and Anne. If you even think about causing a ruckus, he’s not only going to haunt your asses, he’s going to send me and my friend Lisa here back around to talk to you again.”

  “What’s that supposed to do? Scare us?” the blonde asked.

  I glanced at Lisa, and she shrugged, letting her horns peek through. I let my own come out as well and turned to face the three of them, my eyes flashing red. “It would sure scare me, if I were you. Now, I suggest you leave and don’t do anything that is going to make me come by for a little chat. You never know, I may forget to eat along the way.”

  The three of them just stood there, wide eyed, and the smell the fear wafted off of them. The blonde was starting to break out into hives and the brunette was trembling. Good.

  “Okay,” the auburn-haired one said and pushed her two partners in crime toward the doors of the funeral home. “We’ll just be going now.”

  “I thought you might see things my way.” I inspected my nails, buffing them against the hem of front of my white shirt. That wasn’t too bad if I did say so myself. My horns retracted and Lisa was back to her normal, perky self as well.

  “Thanks,” Harold said and gave me a warm smile. “For that and for what you said about being family a few minutes ago. It means a lot to me. Really. Now you two get out of here. You’ve got to meet my man Tolliver at the top of an aisle in a few hours.”

  “Are you coming with us?” I asked.

  “I’ll meet you there.” Harold looked at where his former wife and his daughter were sitting, talking with the other mourners. “I think I need to stick around here for a while yet.”

  “Don’t be late,” Lisa warned him.

  “Not even my own memorial could keep me away.” Harold floated away.

  I shook my head and the two of us slipped out the exit and into the parking lot before anyone else noticed. “Well,” I said and looked over at her when we reached my Civic. “That went better than I expected.”

  “It was nice to do something good for a change.”

  “I was talking about the whole Scaring the Crap Out of the Ex-Wives thing,” I said.

  “So was I. Now, let’s go shackle me to your brother for the rest of eternity. What do you say?”

  “I’d say you’re a damn fool and we need to run off to Mexico until you see sense.” I turned my car on and pulled out of the parking lot, making my way toward the church the Alpha had glamoured into existence for her wedding. “But you’re not listening to me are you?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  “I can’t do this.” Lisa scurried into the tiny bathroom the Alpha had so kindly remembered to put in the bride’s staging area. “I’m going to be sick.”

  “No, you’re not.” I stared at my reflection in the mirror and applied more concealer to hide the dark rings underneath my eyes. I was not going to ruin this wedding by looking like some sort of wretch.

  “I’m going to vomit,” Lisa muttered.

  “No, you’re not.” I stood, smoothing the black satin of my dress so it didn’t bulge at my hips. “Demonesses don’t vomit. Take a deep breath and try to relax. Just think, it’ll all be over in less than an hour, and you’ll officially be the Princess Consort to the Heir Apparent of Hell. If Dad ever decides to retire, you’ll even be queen. Then you’ll outrank me.”

  “I will?” Lisa’s head popped out of the bathroom door, and she stared at me with wide eyes, sweat glimmering on her forehead. She actually was a little green. That was strange. I didn’t think demons could get sick.

  “No.” I grabbed her hands, pulled her out of the bathroom, and led her to the makeup table. “Dad’s already said he’s going to make us rule by committee if he ever decides to retire. That means you get the same title as Hope and I do, but no voting rights. Sorry to burst your bubble.”

  “No feathers off my wings,” Lisa said. I picked up a tissue and blotted at the sweat beading on her face. A quick pat of her hair, and she was stunning. Absolutely the most beautiful bride I’d ever seen in my life. “I was just curious about who got the crown your mother had commissioned for herself. I couldn’t believe she managed to keep it on her head through the reception. That thing had to weigh forty pounds.”

  “Consider it yours, a wedding present from me and Hope, and since we’re on the subject of your wings…”

  “The olive oil worked.” She made a face. “But you were right. It was disgusting.”

  “Just think, once you’re married—”

  There was a sharp knock on the door and we froze. Lisa had gone from pale mint green to a sort of ashy gray color. She took another deep breath while I went to open the door and ushered her father into the room.

  “Ready, sweetheart?” he asked, tears welling up in his eyes at the sight of her. “’Cause if you’re not, I can sneak us out the back and we can be on a plane for Jamaica before that boy you’re marrying even knows we skipped town.”

  “That might not be such a bad idea,” I said before grabbing both of our bouquets. “I mean, he’s my brother and all, but you could do better and I’ve always heard Jamaica is nice this time of year.”

  “No. I want to marry Tolliver. He’s the perfect man for me.” She kissed her father on the cheek before taking his arm.

  “Trust me.” I gave her a quick hug and opened the dressing room door. “You could do so much better.”

  “Yeah, I probably could. But I don’t want to.”

  “Well,” Mr. DeMarcos said. “Let’s get you married then. But I have to say, Faith, your family’s church is amazing. I’d never even heard of St. Bruno’s before Lisa told us the wedding was being held here. Absolutely stunning.”

  “Yes, it is.” I glanced up at the soaring white marble arches, meeting in high domes where beautiful angels frolicked about us in scenes of heartbreaking simplicity. The large side windows were plain glass, designed to fill the church with light, and as I stepped to the end of the aisle, I couldn’t help gasping at the beauty of the stained glass window over the altar. A hidden choir of children sang from the loft, filling the sanctuary with a melody older than time itself.

  Tolliver stood, wringing his hands at the front of the church, refusing to turn around to peek at his bride. J stood with his hand on Tolliver’s shoulder, and winked when I reached my place. My brother looked like shit. His face was pale and his hands were trembling worse than the bride had just a moment before. Which was insane. How could both of them be so worried about what was about to happen? Anyone could see they were madly in love with each other. Why, I had no idea. But then again, most of Lisa’s decisions didn’t make a lot of sense as far as I was concerned.

  The music rose to a crescendo when she reached the top of the aisle and kissed her father on the cheek before taking hold of Tolliver’s hand. The Alpha smiled at the two of them, golden light reflecting around His head.

  The Alpha began the wedding mass, and I let myself tune out, refusing to think about how complicated my own love life had b
ecome. Right now, I was here to be supportive to my brother and my best friend.

  I felt a tingle of static and turned to see Harold slip in through one of the open windows and float into the pew the rest of my family was sitting in, still dressed in his suit from the memorial service. Malachi sat next to him in his human form, and both the dread demon and the ghost radiated happiness in all their burnt toffee-smelling glory. Hope sat next to the two of them, her eyes focused on the ceiling and a tissue clutched in her fists. She hadn’t lost it yet, but I could see she was trying to keep her cool. Hope, crying at a wedding. That wasn’t something I’d ever thought to see. She hadn’t even been misty-eyed last night.

  Mom, as usual, had a sour look on her face, and I saw her tiara sitting in her lap. Apparently someone had told her it wasn’t appropriate to outshine the bride on her wedding day. As for Dad, he looked pretty comfortable, for a guy sitting between his ex-wife and his current one. Lil smiled at me from her place at the end of the pew, and I couldn’t help smiling back.

  A faint scratching sounded behind me, near the altar, and swung my head around to glower at the sprite peeking out from underneath the altar cloth. My eyes flashed red, and he froze, staring at the den of demons looking back at him.

  Instead of continuing with whatever mischief he had planned, the sprite popped out of sight instead, leaving behind the musty smell of wet dirt and a few wayward green sparkles. He was a fast learner. Or he had better self-preservation instincts than the rest of his kind. Either way, for his sake, he’d better hope I didn’t catch him alone somewhere. I wasn’t a vindictive demoness, but it was best not to take any chances where those little monsters were concerned.

  “Tolliver and Lisa have requested to use their own vows,” the Alpha said, bringing me back to the wedding taking place in front of me. “Tolliver, you may go first.”

  My brother swallowed, his hands shaking while he held onto Lisa’s. “I just utterly adore you,” he said. “I’ve been in love with you from the first moment I saw you. Like the very first second. Not even that long. The very first split second. It was like being hit by lightning and I knew, from that moment on, there was no me without you.”