Twelve Truths and a Lie

by Christina Lee

  “I’ll meet you downstairs in an hour.” She grabbed her coffee and was out the door.

  24

  Aurora

  I didn’t feel any guilt over what I’d done with Cameron this weekend. We had both been wound so tight and abstaining from sex. But there was an ease there, an attraction to each other. An alarmingly hot attraction. The only thing I’d feel remorseful about is if the experience ruined our friendship.

  On the way home, we stopped for gas and snacks, which consisted of a sleeve of Oreos for him and salt and vinegar chips for me. He wrinkled his nose at my selection and had it been any other guy, I would’ve deliberated longer about placing them on the counter. But with Cameron I had become comfortable letting it all hang out.

  It was mostly quiet on the last leg of the trip. It was a comfortable silence, though sometimes I’d catch him staring at me out of the corner of his eye, a puzzled frown to his features. Did he think differently of me now?

  “What?” I finally asked, after his gaze had drifted toward me for the tenth time.

  He changed lanes to pass a truck on our right side. “What do you mean?”

  “You know exactly what I mean,” I said, resting my bare feet up on the dash. Those pumps had done a number on my toes last night. “We’ve been pretty honest with each other up to this point, so let’s not stop now.”

  “Okay,” he replied, glancing in the rearview mirror as he shifted over again. “Fair enough.”

  “So why are you looking at me like that?” I mumbled, not certain I wanted to hear the answer after all.

  He glanced at me sideways. “How am I looking at you, Aurora?”

  I twisted my lip between my teeth. “Like you want to figure me out or something.”

  “It’s not that at all,” he said and then took a deep breath. “I’m just trying to memorize you, the way you are right now—your hair all tousled in that ponytail and your lips still swollen from our night—and morning—together.”

  I inhaled sharply through my nose and had trouble getting any words out, so I just tucked my head, my heart performing a marathon run in my chest.

  “Sorry if I embarrassed you,” he muttered with something that sounded like regret. “Though this weekend was really stressful for me…”

  I met his gaze finally and his eyes softened.

  “The time I spent with you,” he said and then focused his eyes back on the road. “Damn. Not sure I’ll be able to get it out of my brain anytime soon.”

  I could feel the heat climbing up my cheeks.

  “How’s that for honesty?” he asked, his voice soft and hoarse.

  “Well,” I cleared my throat, unable to swallow around the boulder lodged in place. “I guess that makes two of us.”

  Relief tempered his jawline and a flicker of a grin indented his cheek.

  “I just hope…I don’t know,” I said, sputtering out the words. “That it doesn’t somehow ruin…”

  “How we interact?” he flicked his gaze toward me. “The friendship that we built?”

  “Right,” I said, arching my toes to stretch them out. “I don’t want it to become awkward between us. But I also…I don’t know…”

  There was so much more I wanted to say, but I wondered if we shouldn’t just let it play out. Maybe we could have more together someday. The idea of it scared me and thrilled me all at once. I so desperately wanted something healthy to build on. Something that felt right.

  “As far as I’m concerned, I’d still like to hang out,” he said, and the ache in my chest loosened. “At least until…”

  He winced and tightened his fingers on the steering wheel.

  “Until what?” I asked, turning toward him in the seat. My pulse had picked up a staccato rhythm.

  “I checked my email this morning,” he said, sliding his hand through his hair. “I’ve been on a waiting list in Hamilton County for a long time, and it looks like I finally got accepted into a suburban school district.”

  “Hamilton County?” I asked, my forehead wrinkling in confusion. “You mean in Cincinnati—four hours away?”

  “Yeah,” he replied, suddenly looking unsure of having shared that information. “It would be nice to have the same classroom for more than a year at a time.”

  There was an elongated beat of silence between us as my pulse sputtered in an erratic rhythm. My chest felt so tight, like I couldn’t even inhale a decent breath.

  “I guess that makes sense,” I said, attempting to harness my runaway thoughts so that I could offer my friend a measure of support. “You usually don’t know your assignment until the summer before school begins?”

  “Right,” he said. “There’s always a chance of reassignment or job elimination in my district. I’ve had it happen three times already.”

  I put myself in his shoes and wondered how it would feel to always be on the brink of losing your job. I could understand why he’d want some stability in his life.

  “In a way, it might be the perfect time,” he said, avoiding my eyes. “I can’t stay at Maddie’s place forever. When this school year is over, I can pack up and move out there.”

  I swallowed thickly, knowing I needed to remain levelheaded. “I’ll be glad to help any way I can. Did you already give them your decision?”

  “Not yet,” he said, veering into another lane. “But I need to tell them soon. The bummer is I enjoy living in Cleveland. The town has so much to offer, and I’ve made some good friends.”

  “Yeah, it’s a good place to live,” I said, gulping and blinking rapidly, gloom sitting heavily in my chest. “Your friends would definitely miss you.”

  When he cut his eyes to me, a ghost of a sad smile played across his lips.

  I found I couldn’t stop staring at him in that moment. The inky ringlet of curls at his temple, his flickering eyelashes, and the dark stubble on his chin.

  As his thigh jiggled to keep beat with the low drone of the music, I thought about how naked he had been in front of me this weekend—in his vulnerability as well as his passion—as my name burst from his lips when I made him come.

  I squirmed in my seat, a quiet buzz raising the hairs on my arms and legs, making me feel unglued. A protest hung on the very edge of my lips. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg him to stay, but I forced myself to focus on my to-do list instead.

  Cameron flipped to a new station on the radio, and one of the melodies we had slow danced to at the reunion began its opening note. My chest felt crowded with melancholy like it always did.

  I jostled my legs into another position and tried to think of something else. Anything other than Cameron moving away and our friendship never having a fighting chance to blossom into something different, better, more.

  His warm fingers gripped my arm. “What is it?”

  I looked down at his hand and the contrast of our skin. I considered how similar and in sync we were on the inside and how great a travesty it was that people focused wholly on the wrong things. Things that didn’t matter—not even a little bit. “What do you mean?”

  “There’s something about this song,” he said, his hand returning to the steering wheel, leaving my skin warm and prickling. “You tensed up when you heard it at the dance last night, too. Your eyes got this dreamy look in them.”

  “God, it’s nothing.” I covered my face with my hands, my stomach bunching into a ball, mortified that he could read me so well. “Just one of those ballads that always gets to me.”

  “Look at you,” he said, cutting his gaze at me. “You’re all, what’s the word…swoony about it.”

  I angled my head, thankful he had given me an inroad to make fun of him. “Swoony. Really?”

  “Yep, really,” he said, with his masculinity still intact. Drat. “Now tell me.”

  “I don’t know, I guess it’s the words,” I replied in a rush, flicking my wrist. “Something to aspire to in a relationship. The right relationship.”

  He turned up the radio and fell silent, as if listening in
tently to the lyrics, and I scrunched down in my seat. Because now it just seemed stupid. Sappy. Even still, the chorus paired with the melody made this longing feeling balloon in my chest like always. And especially now, after his news.

  I could feel his gaze blazing a ribbon of fire along the side of my face after the words, I still lose my breath every time you look my way, were sung in a falsetto. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I reached forward and flipped the station.

  “Hey, why’d you do that?” he asked, his voiced pitched. “I was beginning to like it.”

  “Go listen to it on your own time, no need to torture me,” I said, fiddling with the stations. “Oh good, talk radio.”

  “I didn’t know you were such a staunch conservative,” he remarked, a smirk tucked in the side of his cheek when he heard what station I had flipped to.

  My face turned red as he baited me. “Well, there’s plenty you don’t know about me.”

  “True,” he said, amusement in his voice. “But what I do know so far is pretty darn cute.”

  I scoffed at him and folded my arms. “I don’t want to be cute.”

  “Okay,” he said, tentatively, all traces of humor gone. “I just meant—”

  “I’d rather be smart and brave and sexy and…strong,” I bit out, unable to stop myself. “Not cute. Not anymore.”

  God, what in the hell had gotten into me? This was all over a stupid song? No, it was more than that and I damn well knew it. It was a culmination of an entire year of self-discovery. And the stinking cherry on top was finding out this incredible guy was leaving town.

  Cameron was silent for a lengthy minute as I continued to regret my mini tantrum. If he didn’t realize before that I had a ton of crap to still work through in my head, he’d sure know now.

  “At the risk of being pelted with those disgusting salt and vinegar chips,” he said, motioning at the bag of half-eaten treats laying beside me on the seat. “You’re already all of those things, Aurora.”

  I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath. Damn it, Cameron, how are you so amazing?

  “Thank you,” I mumbled, heat rising in my cheeks. “And I’m sorry that I…I don’t know what came over me.”

  “No worries,” he said, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

  I slumped further in my seat and drifted off in my own head, and he seemed to do the same. And maybe it felt awkward for a minute but actually not for long.

  It was like being with a trusted friend, who understood that you had your moods and just allowed you to be you. It was the very definition of unconditional.

  I wasn’t sure if I could make heads or tails of all the noise that was making a racket inside my head. But the news about Cameron, as well as Sydney, interspersed with my upcoming workload had all crammed together, creating a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach.

  When Cameron dropped me home, he pulled me into a strong hug.

  “I’ll miss you a ton, you know,” he said against my ear. “But always remember—anybody who gets to be called yours will be damn lucky.”

  I nearly sobbed into his neck, but I kept myself in check. Instead I tried to memorize his scent, the feel of his light stubble against my neck, and the warmth of his skin.

  “It’s like you stole my words,” I mumbled. “So I’ll just say, ditto.”

  “Thank you,” he said, kissing my temple and helping me with my bag. “And take those offending chips with you.”

  The corner of my mouth lifted into a ghost of a grin, the most I could muster in that moment as I put my key in the lock and headed inside my too-quiet apartment.

  25

  Aurora

  I had trouble getting Cameron out of my mind until I had to go into work the following day.

  I was so busy with clients and paperwork that I was barely able to take a decent lunch.

  I went home to change after work because Nicole and I were headed over to talk to Sydney tonight. Remembering what she was going through had put it all back into perspective for me. How it was better this way, me still taking a solid year to remain single and figure myself out.

  I was thankful again that I had not slept with that guy from the bar or had done anything more with Cameron. Though what we’d shared had been pretty darn intimate.

  As I searched through my phone, I came across our photos from the overlook at the park and it felt as if my heart had stopped beating. Cameron was so stunning and next to him, I looked, I didn’t know how to describe it. Silly, happy, content. My comfort level with him showed on my face and in my posture.

  I selected my favorite of the bunch and texted it to Cameron.

  Me: Thanks again for the nice weekend. Hope you have a good week.

  As I was getting in my car to head over to Sydney’s, he texted back.

  Cameron: Oh wow, forgot about those photos. What are you up to?

  Me: About to drive over to see a friend.

  Cameron: The friend who was upset over the weekend?

  Me: Yes. How about you?

  Cameron: Maddie and I are just watching some TV.

  Maddie was flipping through some television shows not even realizing that the girl he slept with a couple of months back was pregnant with his child. I wondered what he would do if he knew he was about to become a father. Would anything change?

  Me: Have a good night.

  When I got inside the door, I saw what a mess Sydney was. She may have had her work clothes on and a full face of makeup, but I could still see the dark circles beneath her eyes.

  “Oh, honey,” I said, pulling her into a tight hug as Nicole stepped out of the restroom. We sat on the couch in silence waiting for her lead.

  When she didn’t take it, I began. “Do you want to keep this baby?”

  “Yes…no,” she said, ripping her fingers through her hair. “I don’t know.”

  I waited her out, so she could gather her thoughts.

  “I’m an adult out of college with my own business. I interact with kids all the time,” she said, sucking in gulps of air. “It would be a damn shame if I gave this baby up.”

  “You’re fantastic with kids,” Nicole said, rubbing her shoulder from the opposite side of the couch and I had to agree.

  “It’s just that I’m…I’m terrified,” she admitted, the stark fear evident on her face. “What if I can’t do it—can’t make it—am a terrible mother after all?”

  Nicole and I looked at each other and said the same thing practically at the same time. “You have us.”

  Her eyes filled with tears and she bowed her head, reaching for our hands.

  “And your large family,” I said, motioning to all the photos of her parents, siblings, nieces and nephews she had arranged around her apartment.

  “Your family is amazing,” Nicole said. “I know you haven’t told anybody yet, but your mom especially would be supportive. You guys are so close.”

  “I almost told her this weekend, but I chickened out,” Sydney said, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m going to wait until after the doctor’s appointment in a couple of weeks.”

  “Single moms do it all the time,” I said, swiping at the wetness on her chin. “Sure, it’s going to be tough, but it’ll be rewarding, too.”

  Nicole’s face lit up with a watery smile, and I knew she was thinking about her own kids. Though she bitched about juggling time and a career and the twins’ tantrums that sometimes happened at the exact same moment—in the next breath, she beamed about them and took thousands of photos to mark their special milestones.

  “What if Maddie wants to be involved in this baby’s life?” Nicole asked, tentatively.

  Sydney looked conflicted and mortified as she sank her head into her hands.

  “You need to tell him, sweetie,” I insisted, as I brushed the hair from her neck, attempting to offer her comfort.

  “He has his whole life planned out,” she said, sniveling. “He told me all about it. How the family decides suitable partners. How it’s abou
t different ideals than Western relationships. It’s about compatibility and what’s best for the future generations.”

  “I don’t give a crap if he’s got stuff mapped out. Shit happens,” Nicole said in practically a growl. “Then the dickwad shouldn’t have sex.”

  I laid a hand on Nicole’s arm to get her to calm down. If we had all used that logic, then we would’ve been saints throughout college. In fact, Nicole met Michael and was having sex by the time we had graduated. What if she would’ve gotten pregnant before she’d earned her degree?

  She was right, though, shit happened and you dealt with the fallout.

  “You have feelings for him, don’t you?” I asked Sydney in a soft voice. It was something I had been thinking about on the drive home with Cameron on Sunday.

  “Of course not!” she scoffed at me.

  I grasped at her chin to force her to look at me. “You do, otherwise you wouldn’t be trying to protect him.”

  “I hardly know him,” she practically whined at me. “But I like him. He’s smart and kind and honorable. And the sex was probably the best I ever had.”

  “Must’ve been some powerful swimmers because look what happened,” Nicole said, still ticked at Maddie about the whole ordeal.

  “Ha ha,” Sydney threw out in her usual tone, which made me feel like maybe we were getting someplace. That my rational and fierce friend was back, though who could blame her for falling apart? I would do the same in this situation, maybe even worse.

  “I think you give him the option to either be involved or not,” I said, offering her a glass of water. “From what Cameron told me, he’s a good person.”

  “Cameron?” Nicole said, eyebrows quirking.

  “Change of subject please,” Sydney said, throwing herself on the nearest cushion. “To your weekend.”

  “It was good,” I said, heading to the kitchen to get Sydney the drink I promised and taking the opportunity to focus on something else.