The Shadows of Christmas Past

by Christine Feehan

  "Yes, by all means, Al," Cole's gaze was on Maia's pale face. He didn't take his hand from her back. He could feel the small tremors running through her body. "Be careful. This storm looks bad. I take it all the animals are bedded down in sheltered areas?" His tone implied they'd better be.

  "Yes, sir. It was all taken care of before I let the hands go home." Al turned back. "I know this isn't the best time, but Fred, my wife's brother, came by again looking to get his job back. He's a good hand, Mr. Steele. He's got a couple of kids. It's not like there's a lot of work this time of year."

  Jase whipped his head around, his face still and white. The horse suddenly moved, reacting to the boy's sudden tension. The movement flooded the animal with pain, but the bay rubbed its head against Jase in an attempt to comfort him. The gesture immediately brought the teenager's attention back to the animal.

  Cole's fingers, on Maia's back, pressed deeper into her skin. There was heat there, a touch of anger. "I told you no, Al. No one who worked for Brett Steele will ever work for me or for Jase. I know he visits you, but I don't even like the man to set foot on this property. I've looked the other way because I know family's important to you and your wife, but I don't want to see him and I don't want him to go anywhere on the ranch other than to your home. Is that understood?" His voice was ice-cold and carried a whip.

  "Yes, sir."

  "And I don't want you to bring this matter up again." It was a distinct threat. Even Maia recognized it as such. She glanced at Jase, who was stroking the Bays neck. She touched Cole's wrist. Gently. Reminding him he wasn't alone. Lines etched his face, and he looked quite capable of anything. Even murder. If she could see the buried rage rising up to swirl so close to the surface, so could Jase.

  Cole let his breath out slowly, trying to relieve the anger boiling up in him. Al kept hammering away at getting his brother-in-law a job, but one look at Jase's pale face told him the man had been present during one or more beatings. He felt like smashing something, preferably Al's face for bringing up the subject yet again and putting that look back on the boy's face.

  "Yes, Mr. Steele," Al said and turned and walked away.

  Cole looked at Maia. "You ready to do this?" What he wanted to do was thank her, but the words stuck in his throat. Jase looked as if he couldn't take much more.

  "Al wanted to put him down," Jase said. "He kept telling me it was best. I knew the horse was suffering, Cole, but I couldn't let him go."

  "I told you to hang on," Cole said. "Let's see what the Doc has to say."

  Maia took the horse's head in her hands a second time and looked into his eyes, acknowledging pain and memories, giving brief reassurance. She didn't care if the Steele brothers thought she was a nutcase, the horse deserved some comfort before she went to work. When she was certain the animal understood what she was going to do, she began her inspection, her face carefully blank as she evaluated the damage. "Left hock has a three-inch laceration with bone exposed. Right hock, most wounds are superficial abrasions. We have a left front dorsal forearm laceration through the muscle down to the bone, approximately five inches long. We have major splintering from the fence around the laceration, one piece fairly large." It looked like a stake to her, but she was very matter-of-fact, aware of Jase watching her every expression. She put her hand on his shoulder. "We can deal with this if you're willing to help out. First I need to give him painkillers and start him on antibiotics, then we'll get to work."

  Jase watched her preparing syringes, his eyes wide. "What are you giving him?"

  "Four different types of painkillers. All of them do something a little different. We don't want him to feel anything while I work on him, but he has to stand, so we can't exactly knock him out. He'll be sedated though, Jase." Maia gave the shots deftly, using her fist to strike and numb the muscle before jamming the needle in. "The last two shots are for tetanus and a good dose of penicillin."

  Jase crooned to the horse as she administered the rest of the shots. "He's been so good. He hardly moves, and it must hurt so bad."

  "The shots will numb everything for him," Maia assured. "Our next step is to get the wound sites as sterile as possible. That's imperative. We're going to flush the site, and remove the debris and splinters, including the large one. Horses can lose a lot of blood, Jase, and still be fine." She worked quickly as she explained, mixing a liter of saline with Betadine. Without giving Jase any time to think about it, Maia grasped the small stake with both hands and pulled the large piece of wood from the horse's chest.

  "The barn's well lit, great in fact," Maia said, to keep the boy focused on her and not on the blood. She filled a syringe with the mixture of saline and Betadine. "I need you to begin flushing, Jase. You have to squirt this all over the wound sites. We'll flush all three sites, and I'll clean them, then suture them. This one here"—she indicated the hole where the stake had been—"we might leave open to drain."

  Jase took the syringe from her and aimed it at the gaping wound on the horse's foreleg and chest. The flood of saline and Betadine removed dirt, debris and even splinters. "Is this right?"

  Maia noted his hand was much steadier. "That's exactly what I need. We want the area really, really clean." She soaked gauze in Betadine and washed the area thoroughly, making certain to rid the wounds of all foreign objects. "What I'm doing is clipping the skin so we can suture the dean edges. I've flushed it again with Betadine and deadened the area with lidocaine, so really, Jase, he isn't feeling any of this."

  Cole watched her hands, fingers deft and sure, as she used stents to keep the skin loose as she sutured the wound. She worked with obvious skill. It took a long time to close the five-inch gash to her satisfaction.

  "This is a drain. I don't want to close off that hole in him. It's too big and we want to encourage it to drain. We'll have to really watch that area for infection." Maia spoke patiently to Jase. Her voice was very calm and her hands steady. "I'm also putting a second drain in the gash as well. The stents will keep the skin loose, and I think it will heal nicely, but I'll want you to check this area several times a day for any signs of infection."

  Jase nodded, looking very solemn. "I'll do it, Doctor."

  "I'm Maia Armstrong, Jase."

  He nodded again, ducking his head a little to avoid her gaze. "I can sleep out here with him and sort of keep watch."

  "It's too cold," Cole said abruptly.

  Maia glanced at Cole from under long lashes. He felt her reprimand all the way to his toes. The woman knew how to give a look. She turned her high-wattage smile on Jase.

  "That won't be necessary, Jase, although it's so good of you to offer. He'll be fine out here, and I want him to stay quiet."

  Every now and then she spoke softly to the horse and to Jase, instructing him to flush the wound on the hock a second time before she worked on it. When he was finished she used gauze soaked in Betadine to clean it again, removing the last of the dirt and splinters.

  "Is he going to be all right?" Jase asked.

  "We'll see. We have a long way to go." She crouched beside the horse, working close, without fear or hesitation, as she closed the second gash. She didn't seem to be aware of time passing or the temperature in the barn dropping.

  "I'm going to put antibiotic paste on him, Jase. You can't let this stuff touch your skin, so we use tongue depressors to smear it on. Primitive, but it works." She straightened, stretching a little as if her muscles were cramped from crouching so long beside the horse. "We'll have to take his temperature every day, and he'll need antibiotics injected into the muscle twice daily. Have you given shots before?"

  Jase nodded. "A couple of times. Cole's been teaching me. Before, I didn't really go near the animals."

  She smeared the paste on liberally. "Don't worry, soon you'll be an expert in giving horses shots. You're a natural."

  "Do you really think so? I thought about working with animals a long time ago. I like being around them." Jase glanced at Cole, dearly nervous by the admission.


  Maia ignored the significant rise in tension and continued applying the antibiotic paste. "I think you're good with animals. You have to read them, their body language, the look in their eyes. I think you have a real affinity for that."

  "What do I have an affinity for?" Cole asked.

  Maia laughed, the sound unexpected in the large barn. White vapor drifted around them from the simple act of breathing. She sent a mischievous smirk in Jase's direction, winking at him. "Trouble, Mr. Steele. I think you're a magnet."

  Jase made a strangled sound, trying to suppress his laughter. Cole turned away from them. It was the first real laugh he'd heard from the boy, and the sound flooded him with warmth. Maia had a way of bringing Jase out of his shell, and Cole was grateful to her, even though he wished he'd been the one to make Jase laugh.

  "You got that right, Doc," Jase agreed.

  Maia crouched once again beside the horse. "What I'm doing now is putting pressure wraps on three of his legs to help prevent swelling. I considered putting a stack wrap on his left front, but we'll see how he does. I think he'd just rub it off. I want to keep a careful record, Jase. I'll put this chart out here, so if you happen to take his temp or administer his penicillin when I'm gone, we'll have a record of everything."

  "I'll do it," Jase promised.

  "I think we're just about finished. We'll let him rest."

  Maia stretched, yawning as she did so. "I hope you have some extra clothes you're willing to share, Jase. I didn't bring much with me, and I have a feeling you may be stuck with me a while. I'll need to wash my scrubs, and I'd really love something to sleep in."

  "Sure, Doc," Jase said, eager to find a way to repay her. "I'll find you something. And you won't have to worry about getting lost in the snow between the house and barn. All the walkways are covered and enclosed."

  She smiled at him. "That's handy. I really think he'll be fine. If we weren't in the middle of a full-blown blizzard, I'd trailer him into the clinic, but I have all my equipment with me. I think we're prepared to handle anything that comes along."

  "Will I be able to ride him eventually?"

  "Let's make it past the infection stage and see how everything heals," Maia hedged. "He had some nasty injuries." She patted the horse's side. "He wants to get better, and that's more than half the battle right there."

  "Did he tell you that, Doc?" Cole asked, his eyebrow raised.

  "Well, of course. And he's rather fond of Jase as well. I'm surprised a man as sensitive as you didn't catch all that." She grinned at him and blew on her hands to warm her aching fingers.

  His heart lurched uncomfortably. He couldn't help tucking stray strands of hair behind her ear. She looked tired. "Jase, you need to shower and hit the sack. I don't want you staying up all night." Cole took her hands and began to rub them between his own.

  Jase glanced at his watch. "I haven't eaten, Cole. I need food. Sustenance. Something like pizza."

  The moment he said the word, both brothers reacted, expressions shutting down, wariness creeping into their eyes. They had already compared experiences of their father's reaction when as a boy Cole had stayed after school to have pizza with his friends. Jase had done the same thing. Brett Steele believed in absolute control and his punishments had been vicious.

  "I know how to make pizza," Maia said into the silence. "If you have the ingredients, I can make it." Deliberately she pulled her hands away from Cole and clapped Jase on the shoulder. "You do have flannel pajamas, don't you?"

  "You're bribing him," Cole pointed out, taking direction from her. Maia seemed to know naturally what to say and do with the boy, where he was still floundering, feeling his way, knowing he was out of his depth. "Jase, don't give up your flannels. I think she's hungry enough to make pizza for us anyway."

  "Well, I am, but I had planned on making you cook," Maia said.

  Jase snorted. "Don't even go there, Doc. Cole's cooking is downright ugly."

  "Hey, traitor." Cole managed to ruffle the boy's hair. His affectionate gesture startled both of them. He dropped his hand quickly and Jase suppressed a small grin. "A beautiful woman comes along, and you side with her."

  "I show good sense, you mean," Jase bantered back. "She can cook."

  Maia's smile widened. "I'm an awesome cook. And I love flannel, so I can be bribed."

  "I have a flannel shirt," Cole said. "If we have to pay for our four-in-the-morning supper, I'll contribute to the cause." He took Maia's arm. "You're falling down you're so tired. And if you continue to shiver from the cold any longer, you're going to rattle your teeth loose. Let's get up to the house."

  Jase patted the horse good night and hurried after them. "Thanks, Doc. I know it wasn't easy doing all that work."

  "I like being a veterinarian. I really think you should give it some thought, Jase. School's hard, and you have to be at the top of your class to get in, but I'll bet you have the brains for it."

  "He's a great student," Cole acknowledged immediately.

  "I had tutors most of the time," Jase admitted. "My father didn't want me to go away to school."

  She'd bet he didn't. The wrong person might see his bruises. And a man like Brett Steele wouldn't want to lose control of his prized possessions. His own sons. She stole a quick glance at Cole's darkly etched features. He'd managed to escape his father's world, but now he was trapped all over again. What had that done to him? He was removed from everyone, keeping a distance from the rest of the world, yet trying desperately to keep the same thing from happening to Jase.

  She sensed that Cole had to let Jase inside of him. Into his heart. His mind. He had to allow himself to love Jase, to care about him. Obviously he felt affection and a need to protect the boy. And that made him vulnerable. Brett Steele had effectively tied Cole to him, to this place so haunted with his chilling ghost. The elder Steele was certain that his money and his influence would enable him to reach his sons from beyond the grave. Cole was trying to find a way to fight back, to give Jase a life. He just didn't seem to understand that he and his brother would have to save themselves together, that it was a package deal.

  "Do you go to a regular school now?" Maia shivered as Cole flicked a switch and the barn went dark. He waved her through the open door to the covered walkway. The floor was constructed to drain the water away from the center as the heating coils embedded in the concrete path melted the snow. Drifts of snow were piled high on either side, cutting the wind.

  "Cole wants me to go to a private school, but I don't mix too well with other kids." Again Jase glanced nervously at his brother as if he feared he was revealing too much and would be reprimanded.

  "You might like it if you try it," Cole said with no inflection. "You wouldn't have any trouble academically. You're really smart, Jase, and you know it."

  "That doesn't make me socially acceptable," Jase muttered.

  "Is anyone ever socially acceptable?" Maia asked.

  Cole made a snorting sound of derision. "I'll bet you were the most popular girl in school. Prom queen. Cheerleader."

  Maia winked at Jase. "What do you think?"

  "I think you should have been if you weren't," Jase said honestly.

  "You don't have to find me flannel pajamas, and I'll still make you a pizza," Maia declared. "That was a nice thing to say."

  "I said it first." Cole crowded closer to her, keeping his body between her and the elements as best he could. She was wearing only the thin scrubs and couldn't control her continuous shivering. "You're making me crazy, Doc." He put his arm around her and pulled her closer to the heat of his body.

  "I'm a mess," she said, drawing away. "I'll need that washing machine."

  He pulled her back to him, slipping his arm around her waist so that she fit even closer. "I don't think you know how cold you are, Doc. You're turning blue. You look good blue, but it clashes with your spunky attitude."

  "I'm not spunky." This time she stayed near the intense heat pouring off his body. Warming her. It felt good, and
she was chilled to the bone. He smelled masculine. She'd never smelled a man before, but inhaled deeply, taking him into her lungs and trying not to rub her head against his chest like a cat. It wasn't just the way he felt and smelled, it was the way he made her feel. "No one says spunky anymore."

  She'd never been so physically close to a man before. She moved around too much to form really close relationships with people. She'd certainly never experienced such tremendous physical attraction before. Cole Steele made her feel ultrafeminine, completely aware of herself as a woman—and him as a man. "The word 'spunky' is definitely out," she affirmed.

  As the walked, her body moved against his in a perfect rhythm reminiscent of dancing. She could feel her color rising, or maybe it was her blood pressure, as she remembered the feel of his body pressed so tightly against hers when they'd danced together. The last thing she needed was to be trapped for any length of time on his ranch with him. She had no idea if her self-control was that strong.

  Cole raised an eyebrow at his younger brother. Jase grinned at him, genuine amusement on his face. "I'd have to agree with Cole on this one, Doc. You are one spunky woman."

  Feeling deeply unsettled by her attraction for the larger-than-life man walking so close to her, Maia was grateful when Cole opened a side door to the main house, and they were in the snow room. Jackets were hung on the walls, and boots lined the floor. Both men removed their shoes, and Maia did the same. It was cool in the room, but far warmer than outside.

  The inside of the house was so warm she felt the blast of heat on her cold skin. The entryway was tiled, but warm on their feet. She looked up at the archways and high ceilings, her breath catching. "Good grief. You live here? This is a modern-day miracle."

  Cole and Jase exchanged a long look. Jase cleared his throat. "I'll find you some warm clothes." He hurried off while Cole pulled a blanket from the back of one of the deep, oversized couches and wrapped it around her. "How about I make you something hot to drink, and I'll cook tonight." He glanced out the series of glass windows making up the front of the house. The snow was steady with no letup. "I think you're going to be here a few days, and you'll get the chance to make Jase your famous pizza another time. Right now you need to warm up."