The Shadows of Christmas Past

by Christine Feehan

  "Can I touch her?" Jase was already reaching out, his expression lit up with excitement Cole had never seen him as fascinated or intrigued with anything. The boy moved even closer, actually bending over Maia to peer at what she was doing. She didn't seem to mind in the least, showing him what she was doing next.

  "Sure, it's safe. She's out. Her eyes are open, but she's out." Maia squeezed ointment into the cat's eyes to prevent them from drying out. "She can't blink lite this, so we have to do it for her."

  "I've heard them scream before," Jase said. "It was like something out of a scary movie."

  "Mountain lions purr, rather than roar like the other big cats do, and yes, they have a phenomenal scream," Maia said, guiding Jase's hand along the cat's back.

  Cole watched the way her hands moved through the mountain lion's fur. He tasted envy in his mouth. Need. How did he become a part of such a thing?

  Maia glanced at Cole over her shoulder. "You don't hunt them on this ranch, do you?"

  "It's legal here in Wyoming," he said. His voice was strangling around the lump in his throat. "But since I've been here we certainly don't hunt them, and we wouldn't unless they went after our horses or cattle. Most stay in the high country." Forcing his mind to concentrate on details, he studied the cat, trying to determine, from the lacerated muscle, the angle the shooter had shot from. "How old is mat wound?"

  "It's fresh. Maybe twenty-four hours, a little longer, but not by much. Damn hunters. It's makes me so mad, they wound an animal and leave it to suffer."

  "You're saying she was shot on this ranch yesterday or the day before?" Cole's body touched hers, as he bent over her to get a closer look at the wound.

  Maia glanced at him, recognizing the edge in his voice, the sudden alert interest. "She definitely was shot somewhere on the ranch."

  "There was no one here but Al and me," Jase said. "I didn't hear a shot."

  "It was probably miles from the ranch house," Cole said.

  "I'm going to give her an injection of antibiotics, then we'll put them in her food and try to keep her here over the next few days," Maia deliberately changed the subject when she realized Jase was becoming agitated. She sent Cole a warning glance.

  Cole shook his head. "Maia, this is a working ranch. You have any idea how dangerous that is? If you feed her, and you'll have to, she might want to come around here. And then we're going to have to shoot her anyway."

  "I'll make certain she knows to stay in the high country."

  He stepped even closer. "Fine. If I have to have it here, I want to pet it too." He felt stupid asking, but it was the chance of a lifetime. There was breathtaking beauty in the animal and a sense of raw power. The moment his fingers sank into the fur, he felt connected to it, and in some strange way, the mountain lion solidified his connection to Jase and Maia. He dropped his other hand on Maia's shoulder, needing to touch her as he took the unique opportunity to get close to a live mountain lion. Jase beamed at him. They exchanged a small grin. Maia was magic and mystery, and it was becoming difficult for Cole to focus his mind on anything else.

  Maia's hand covered Cole's as he petted the cat's deep far.

  "Amazing. I've never had an experience like this." There was wonder in his voice, a boyish excitement, much like Jase's, yet there was that underlying dark sensuality he couldn't suppress. Seeing Maia with the cat, getting so close with Jase, just being herself seemed to bring it out in him.

  Reluctantly, Maia pulled her hand away to reach for the needle. She had to avoid looking at Cole. Sharing the experience with him was a fantasy she'd always kept secret, sharing her love of exotic cats with a man she… Abruptly she pulled her mind away from the thought. "I'm suturing the wound, Jase," Maia continued. "If it were any older, there would be too much bacteria in it, but I'll leave a drain and use dissolving sutures. Hopefully we can keep as much air getting to it as possible."

  "How'd you learn all this?" Jase asked eagerly. "This is what I want to do."

  "I specialized in exotics as well as smaller animals. I actually interned in both Africa and Indochina," Maia said. "I may go back to specializing, but for the time being, the mobile clinic works for me."

  Jase looked up at his brother, a grin on his face. "I know I could do this, Cole."

  "I know you could too, Jase," Cole encouraged. Because Jase was so excited, the boy didn't even notice he was shaking with cold.

  "Large cats can't be treated lightly, Jase," Maia said as she worked. "You always have to be aware that they are wild creatures, even the 'domesticated exotics.' You have to pay attention to body language all the time. And you have to be aware of what 'zone' they're in. I have a five-zone gauge I use to determine the risks of working with a wild animal. Things like bad weather, such as we have now, high winds, tornadoes, and such will drop them into the zone, and we're very much at risk. As she comes out from under the ketamine shell be at her most dangerous because she'll be dopey and fearful. We don't want to be around for that."

  "Where do you want to put her, Doc?" Cole asked, trying to be practical, trying to find a way to help, to be a part of what she was.

  "Somewhere she'll be safe out of the storm and fairly warm, where I can easily check on her and feed her."

  "We have the toolshed," Jase said. "It has heating coils in the floor although we never use them. We could lock her in there."

  "You two get it ready while I finish up here. I wish I had a Fentanyl patch for pain, that would be the best, but I don't carry that with me. I'll have to use a combination of morphine and Valium instead. Hurry, she's going to start waking up, and she won't be a happy kitty."

  Cole frowned. "I don't like you carrying any of those drugs around with you. It's too dangerous." He couldn't resist petting the cat a second time.

  Jase and Maia exchanged a quick grin behind Cole's back, Maia rolling her eyes at his warning. She made no comment, knowing it was useless to argue with his protective bristling. She was a vet and needed the drugs. "Any ideas on how we're going to move her?" she asked.

  "I can carry her," Cole said. "But she'd better not wake up and bite my face off."

  "She won't. Let's go then. Is it far?"

  "No. We'll use the main walkway, then have to use the cable to get to the shed, but it's only a few feet." Cole hesitated as he crouched beside the big mountain lion. "You're sure she's under?"

  Maia took one last listen to the cat's heart and lungs. "Yes, let's go."

  Cole would be lifting a deadweight and trudging a distance, part of it in deep snow. Maia didn't have to like it, but she couldn't think of any other way to transport the animal.

  Using the covered walkway was easy enough, but Cole struggled a bit in the deep snow. Jase hurried ahead to get the shed ready and to kick on the heating coils. He snagged a couple of blankets from the barn and came running back with them as Cole staggered through the door.

  "I feel her moving," he announced.

  "Lay her down," Maia instructed, "and back off. We'll just let her be. You have something for water for her?"

  "I have this old bucket," Jase said, and held it up.

  "Good, we'll use that then. Come on, she's definitely coming around." Maia backed out and closed the door, leaving the mountain lion to wake up on its own.

  She stretched tiredly. "I'm suddenly freezing."

  "So is Jase," Cole said. "Let's get back to the house."

  Cole stayed behind Maia, crowding her close as she followed Jase through the snow and the walkway back to the patio, where she collected her equipment. They entered the mudroom to remove jackets, mittens, and shoes. "I don't know about encouraging these wild animals to come around. What if that cougar decides Watty's an easy meal?"

  "She won't," Maia said, trying to keep her teeth from chattering.

  "That's the coolest thing I've ever seen," Jase said.

  "I'd prefer you didn't mention it to anyone," Maia said.

  "There sure is a lot of cool stuff I can't tell anyone" Jase groused.

&
nbsp; She was shivering so much Cole pulled her against the warmth of his body and began to run his hands up and down her arms. "What are we going to feed her?"

  "I'm going to need ten to fifteen pounds of beef or chicken for her daily. They eat bones and all, and they're always hungry. Jase, don't you go near her. She's a wild animal and injured, so she's unpredictable. I'll put her antibiotics in her food."

  "What do you know about mountain lions, Cole?" Jase asked. "Do we have a lot of them around here?"

  "We have our share, but honestly, I don't know that much about them at all."

  "They are the second largest cat in the Western Hemisphere," Maia said, "and they're also the fastest. Unfortunately, they tire easily because their hearts don't match their size. They lose stamina in a long run and generally miss their kill nine out of ten times, which means a lot of hunting for them."

  Cole stooped to pull off her boots. "I couldn't believe how powerful the animal felt to me. Just being in its presence was intense."

  "Big cats are at the top of the food chain, so they have an 'arrogance' and mantle of power they wear like a second skin." Maia grinned at Cole. "Those of us who are drawn to them are often accused of being the same way."

  "Great, are you saying I'm a predator? Or that you are?"

  "Maybe parts of you are. You definitely have power, and you know it." Her smile widened. "I know I do."

  "I was drawn to it too," Jase reminded, tossing his boots aside. "And I don't have any power at all."

  "Sure you do. And there are people who believe animals come to you to give you messages. A mountain lion crossing your path is a sign you have power, and maybe it's time you should learn about yourself, strengthen and sharpen your own powers. That could be the message to you." Maia tried to get across to the boy that if he knew and could read the mountain lion, he could understand Cole and maybe himself a little better.

  "Do you believe in that?" Cole asked.

  Maia shrugged. "Cats fascinate and repel and inspire fear all at the same time in most people. Because of that, exotics are often labeled as magic or mystical."

  "Don't you think people are fearful because they're in the presence of a predator, a natural killer?" Cole asked.

  "Sure, subconsciously I'm sure they are, but it's that very energy that attracts people to the cats and gives them the mystique."

  Cole opened the door to the kitchen and waved them through. "Does this kind of thing happen to you everywhere you go? Wild animals appearing out of nowhere?"

  "Just about," Maia admitted with a small secret smile. She had turned a corner in the restaurant and run right into the Steele brothers. To her, they weren't that much different from the mountain lion. She rubbed at her arms in an effort to get warm. "I think my blood has turned to ice."

  "Come on, let's get that fire built," Cole said, pulling her into the living room.

  "Jase, would you get the doc a blanket? She's freezing."

  Jase hesitated only a moment, clearly not wanting to miss anything, before he hurried off, taking the stairs two at a time.

  "Cole," Maia waited until he turned to face her. He knelt in front of the massive fireplace, a log in his hand, his hair spilling across his forehead, and her stomach gave a curious flutter. "You don't have to do that."

  "Actually I do. You're right, you know. It's silly not to use a fireplace just because the old man could be cruel. I'm hoping it gives the room a completely different atmosphere. Mostly I'm hoping Jase will like it."

  "Someone should have done something about that man." Her voice was tight. She couldn't imagine how Brett Steele had gotten away with his vicious behavior for so long. How could the ranch hands and housekeeper look the other way?

  "Someone did." Cole turned back to building a fire.

  Maia studied him in silence, rubbing her chin on her knee as she watched him. His movements were all efficient, graceful. There were sharp edges to Cole's personality but none to his physical movements. He reminded her of the mountain lion, moving with fluid, sure strength. She loved just looking at him.

  Jase hurried in with a down comforter she recognized from her bed. He tucked it around her, flicking a quick glance at the fireplace. Flames crackled brightly, casting shadows on the wall and window. Outside the glass, the light flickered across the snow so that flames leapt and sparkled in a strange, beautiful illusion. "Wow. Did you know it did that?"

  Cole sat back staring out the glass at the phenomenon.

  "No. The architect must have designed it that way." He scooted back until his back was pressed against the couch, close to Maia's legs. "It is amazing."

  "Breathtaking," Maia agreed. "You know, we could easily cut some branches and make a wreath for the fireplace and door. That would bring in the smell of Christmas. I looked in the freezer, and there is a turkey. If we take it out now, we could thaw it in the refrigerator and cook it."

  "You're planning on cooking it, right?" Jase said. "Because the thought of Cole cooking a turkey is scary."

  "What exactly do you do in the kitchen, Steele?" Maia asked.

  "He set off the smoke alarms three times already," Jase said. "And the food…"

  Cole moved so fast he seemed a blur, dragging Jase to the floor in a wrestling move. Jase stiffened, letting out a squeak of terror in spite of the fact that Cole cushioned his fall. Cole froze. Maia launched herself from the couch, blanket and all, landing on Cole's back. "Jase, pin him! Pin him! You've got to get him in a headlock!"

  "No fair double-teaming me," Cole protested, reaching up to hook Maia around the waist. "You're on time-out with that scalp wound."

  "You're just afraid," Maia taunted. "You don't want to get beat up by a woman."

  Cole rolled her in the comforter, careful not to flip Jase off him when the teenager did his best to put him in a headlock and hang on as Cole wrestled with Maia. She was like an eel and believed in using her skills, even in playing. She had no intention of surrendering easily, and what had started out as aid to Jase in learning to play turned into a challenge. She called out instructions to the boy, and he readily threw himself into the game, trying to get a lock on Cole's legs to prevent him from getting leverage.

  Maia laughed so hard she couldn't get a good grip on Cole and found herself lying on her back, staring up into his blue eyes. Jase slipped off Cole's back to land beside her, laughing with her. Cole stretched across the two of them. "Consider yourselves officially pinned."

  "You cheated," Maia accused. She turned her head to laugh with Jase. "He tickled me. In wrestling, there's no tickling."

  "I had to end it fast. You shouldn't be playing around with your head banged up." Cole tried to use his toughest voice, but Jase and Maia only laughed harder, shoving at him, their eyes bright with fun. He found himself lying in a heap on the floor, his arms around the two of them with something hard deep inside of him slowly melting away. It had started when he saw Maia and Jase together with the mountain lion and now, playing in the living room with them, a dam seemed to be bursting inside of him. It was a frightening feeling, one he wasn't ready for.

  "My head's just fine. It was just a little cut."

  "Still, it's better for you to take it easy for a few days." His voice was gruff.

  Maia's fingers tangled in his hair, and he felt a surge of electricity rushing from her to him. His body reacted, and he immediately slid away from the two of them. What had possessed him to start a game of wrestling with Jase? He sat back, eyeing Maia as if she were some kind of sorceress. He knew he was looking wild and crazy but he couldn't help it. She destroyed his control.

  "What is it, Cole?" She sat up too, pushing her tumbling hair out of her eyes and looking up at him with concern. "Did I hurt you?"

  "Not yet," he said before he could censor himself.

  Jase sat up slowly, looking from his older brother to Maia, his smile widening as he did so.

  Cole glared at him. "Don't say a word."

  Jase held up both hands. "I wasn't going to say a word." He
exchanged a slow smile with Maia before turning his attention to his mother's treasures.

  For the next hour they examined the contents of the box, putting the ornaments aside and unfolding the obviously old quilt.

  Maia took a shower and washed her hair, coming down once more dressed in Jase's clothes. They checked the horses together in the evening, and Maia frowned a bit over Wally, concerned he might be getting an infection. When she went to feed and water the mountain lion, Cole insisted on standing by with a gun. He had long since sent Jase to bed and stood guard over her by himself.

  As they walked back to the house he shook his head. "This is crazy, Maia, you know that don't you? Having a mountain lion locked up in the toolshed on a horse and cattle ranch. We'll have to watch Jase every minute. He's likely to try to sneak another peek at that animal."

  "She's trying to be good. She's wants to leave," Maia admitted, "but she'll stay a couple of days. I'd like a good seven days with her before she takes off, but I'm not going to get it."

  "They really talk to you?" He pushed open the door for her and waited while she hung up her jacket and pulled off her boots. "Because after watching you with that animal, I think I'm ready to believe anything."

  "It's not actually talking. More like images."

  "You're frowning."

  "It's just that I'm very concerned about what the animals keep showing me." Maia was reluctant to admit it for obvious reasons. "I feel silly telling you, but if I don't, and something happens, I'd blame myself." She sighed and moved away from him to go into the kitchen. The making of tea was a soothing ritual, and in any case, she needed to take the turkey from the freezer. "You already know I pick up images from animals, so there's no reason to pretend it isn't happening."

  Cole followed, aware it was difficult for her. "I'd like to know."

  "It's just that there's always violence involved. Wally and the deer are the only animals that revealed to me the violence toward Jase. The rest of the animals are showing me things that are happening away from the ranch house."

  He toed a chair around and straddled it in the middle of the kitchen, watching as she filled the teakettle and set it on the stove. "What kinds of things?"