3 Heads & a Tail

by Vickie Johnstone

  Ayla exploded into laughter. The image was too much. Her eyes started to water.

  “I guess that means free rent,” added Josie.

  “The bastard!” said Ben. “So he prostitutes himself and my dog!”

  Ayla exploded into giggles again.

  “It's not funny,” said Ben.

  “It is... it's, it's... hi-hi-hilarious!” spluttered Ayla. “Stetson?!”

  “Wait until he gets back home,” said Ben, gripping his hands together. “He's got some explaining to do. There's no way I'm living with him any longer.”

  Josie sighed. “Are you going to ask him to move out? He won't 'cos he obviously has money problems. The landlady will side with him. He's keeping her happy every Sunday.”

  “Right, well, when he gets home I'm still going to punch his lights out.”

  Glen

  I flick my ears up. Finally, they see David for who he is – a big, stinky asshole. “Voof.” Revenge is a dish best served... in any way, really. Like a big juicy bone.

  Chapter 30

  Later that week, Ben took Glen to the vet for a check-up. The dog passed his MOT with flying colours. It didn't look like too bad an experience, he thought, apart from the thermometer up the bum. He had no idea why the vet left it in so long. It looked a very uncomfortable, humiliating experience. Ben asked the vet for a letter stating that Glen was in perfect health – physically and mentally. The vet looked surprised, but did it anyway. Ben tucked it into an envelope and posted it to Ms Hill, along with a picture of Glen looking his very best.

  Every day, Ben and Ayla met in the park, sitting and chatting away while Glen and Mimi got to know each other better. There was always a bit of Frisbee throwing so that Glen could show off his skills and energetic prowess, and Mimi got a chance to watch his athletic display. Ben wondered if Glen was the Brad Pitt of Labradors, but realised he was probably more like Hugh Grant – always looking dopey and acting a bit on the clumsy side. At least he hadn't been crashing into any trees lately.

  Every day, Ben took some photos of Glen and Mimi playing. He gave them to Ayla to pass on to Ms Hill, hoping that if she saw how much the dogs enjoyed each other's company she might look more favourably on Glen. Every day he'd ask if she had made any comment, and every day Ayla would say that she just tutted. Ben was still mad with David, but he had so far managed to avoid seeing him in the house. Josie stayed out of his way easily because she could literally hear where he was from her room.

  The following week, Ayla told Ben that Ms Hill had banned her from meeting him with Mimi. She was confused and didn't know what to do. Glen decided to take matters into his own paws.

  Glen

  Now that Ben's fast asleep, I'm making my doggy move. Here I go. Pawtoe to the door, I'm standing on my back legs, dipping the handle with my nose... ooompf... come on, come on... ooomfff, ah... back on the ground. Poking the door open with my paw, slowly, quietly padding out into the corridor. Don't worry about closing the door... too much trouble. It's all a bit dark out here. No sounds. Voofing good. So it's a pawtoe down the stairs and to the front door.

  Next is the tricky bit, but it should be soon; always around the same time on a Sunday night. Just need to wait, keep my voofing cool and stay hidden. That's it. Good. Don't pant too hard. That's it. I'm holding back the panting. I hear footsteps. They're coming up the path, up the steps, up to the front door... oompf... try not to pant. Tail, stop wagging on the floor!

  Voomph... the front door is opening... away we go... whoosh! I'm sprinting for the door as fast as I can go, my ears flapping, my tongue lapping. I can see David is surprised... he's wobbling and his guitar case smashes up the door. Oops, I banged into his legs... hey, asshole, move it! Flop! I think I almost knocked him over. His hand flies out and he's trying to grab my collar. My ears flap past him. See ya!

  Oomph, I'm slipping, I'm sliding, but I'm steadying... and now I'm running. I'm bounding down the steps. I can hear David shouting. I hope Ben doesn't hear because he'd be sprinting down the street after me, but I know David won't run. I'm not his dog and he's too lazy. I'm running down the pavement as fast as my paws can carry me, my ears blowing in the breeze. But it's warm out here, still mid-summer.

  It's a nice, cool run. I can't hear David any more. He's probably gone into the house. But as Ben isn't talking to him, I wonder what's going to happen. Ben might be like a volcano erupting. Wish I could see that, but I've got to keep on running. I can't stop. I'm crossing the road, going round the corner, on and on. Should I take a shortcut straight across the park? Nope, it's too dark and there are dodgy fellows in there at night-time. I'll take the longer route. Glen, don't be a chicken! Time is of the essence here!

  Right, “voof”, I'm skidding round and charging back the other way, and into the park. I'm racing past dodgy man number one – he's sitting on the grass singing. Keep on running. On and on, past dodgy man number two. He's sitting on a bench, waving a beer can at me, cursing and calling me Charlie. I keep on running, past dodgy man number three. He's staggering around with his trousers around his ankles singing. Not sure what he's doing. He must be hot and just airing his bits. Keep on running Glen, but maybe go a bit faster. And I'm sprinting past dodgy man number four. Luckily, he's just asleep. You're snoring a bit, mate.

  Then I'm out of the park and running across the road, down the pavement. I take a few turns, followed by a few more, and I'm there. I can see the house. I can almost smell the roses. But now I have to be quiet. I bow my head and sneak along the corner of the street. I daren't go up the pathway to the front door, so I'm heading round the back where I've gotta jump the fence. Whoa! That's higher than I remember. Whoosh, bump, and I'm over. Voof. Can't bark, can't bark. I must be quiet. Just think the voof.

  And now I wait behind this big bush. I can hear something but I'm not sure what it is. Something is moving in the house, but the lights are off so I can't make anything out. I slink my body close to the ground and move closer to the back door. I can see the outline of a shadow. It's her! The door handle moves down and the door slowly opens. A pink nose is the first thing I see. My ears perk up and I can feel my tail gaining a life of its own. I try to stop it going too fast. Suddenly, her amazingly bright brown eyes are in front on me and she's panting.

  “I think we better go,” she whispers, her ears perking up. I know she's never done anything this crazy in her life and she's relying on me to guide her.

  I nod, and slink slowly and quietly out of the back garden, hiding behind the bushes. She follows. I don't look back, but I can hear her breathing behind me. We wander out into the street and for the first time we're actually alone. It feels wild and unsafe, but good.

  “Ready?” I ask her, certain that she's scared out of her wits.

  She looks at me quite calmly and just nods.

  “I know this is scary,” I say. “I'm scared too, but let's just go and see what happens. We're wearing collars so no one will think we are strays.”

  “Okay, but let's go before she wakes up!” says Mimi.

  I nod. We cross the road and turn the corner. Then I start running and she follows. Luckily, we're under the cover of night because we must be a strange sight. It's not often that you see two golden Retrievers running on the pavement on their own. You might see one with a grumpy owner in hot pursuit, but that's about it.

  Voof! I want to bark with happiness, but I just think it. I haven't thought about Ben, but now I do. I knock it out of my head. Don't want to spoil the feeling of freedom in which I'm basking. We charge down the street, cross roads and speed round corners, our ears flopping in the breeze and our tails wagging like there's no tomorrow. I wish there wasn't one. I wish there was only tonight and that it went on forever, and no one would find us. But I know we'll be found eventually – if not tonight then maybe tomorrow, but definitely some time.

  “I think it's the next corner,” sighs Mimi, a bit breathless.

  She's right. We race into the park. Luckily, the guy with the trousers rou
nd his ankles has wandered off. I hope he didn't trip on the way.

  “Where to now?” she asks.

  We're standing under a huge willow tree beside the lake. The leaves are so long that it forms a giant, organic tent. It almost smells green.

  “I'm not sure,” I say. I sit down and Mimi echoes me. I know she's relying on me to make the decisions. She thinks I'm streetwise and I guess I am a bit, but I've always had Ben to look after me. This time he can't help me.

  Mimi whines softly.

  “Don't worry,” I say. “Let's think of the options. Going back to your house is not one. I'd like to go to my house. Ben is so nice. He would want to help us, but he also likes to do the right thing, so that's not an option. We could stay here in the park, but we're bound to be found. Ben will search the park first as it's my favourite place. Or we can just class this as an adventure and see where we go.”

  “How will we live?” asks Mimi, lifting her head off her paws. She looks up at me with those big brown eyes. I have to make sure no harm comes to her.

  “Well, I'm thinking we'll be found at some point. It's bound to happen, but in the meantime we can just be together. We can eat whatever we find, drink water from wherever, travel and be free. Together.”

  “I'm not sure...”

  “You want to be free, don't you?”

  “Yes, of course,” she replies, scratching her ear. “I want to be with you, but I'm scared.”

  “I know, but I'll look after you, and I guess we'll learn as we go on. What do you say?”

  I'm not sure what she'll say. Maybe she'll want to go back and I'll just go home. Maybe we'll never see each other again...

  “Voof!” Her bark breaks the silence. She gets up, wagging her tail. “Let's go, now, before I change my mind – wherever the wind takes us.”

  “Wherever the wind takes us,” I bark.

  We look around goofily, wary in case anyone heard us, but no-one knows what we're planning. We're doggy runaways, sheltering under a willow tree. I've no idea what's going to happen next, but we're together. That's enough.

  “Let's start walking,” suggests Mimi, wagging her tail.

  I like her enthusiasm. She's a bold one, really. I rub her nose and we wander out from beneath the willow. Its leaves bobble in the breeze in a silent dance. It would be nice to stay and sleep, but I'm guessing we should start moving, and be far away before anyone realises we are gone. I'm wondering if David woke Ben to tell him. I'm guessing he didn't and that he'll pretend he didn't see my escape to save his own skin. From what Mimi said, her owner won't realise she's gone until morning – 8am to be precise. She's an early riser. Ben won't be up until 9, but then he'll be worried. I have to blank that from my mind – too upsetting to think about.

  I pad along by Mimi's side as we cross the park to the other side – not the side that goes to my house and not the side that goes to hers, but a completely different direction... one in which we've never been.

  Chapter 31

  Briing brrinng da ding briiing brinnng da da dee dee dee briinnnggoooo oofff ooff!

  Ben sat up with a start, his eyes still closed. Waving his hand backwards, he tried to hit the 'alarm off' button on his mobile phone. He'd deliberately chosen the most annoying wake-up ring he could find just so that he'd definitely get up. Jeez, he thought, it couldn't be 9am already. He rubbed his eyes, sitting up dazed until his brain plunged into gear, and then he opened them. Yes, indeed, it was 9am. Where did the weekend go? Too short as usual. Before you know it, it's Monday morning.

  He kicked back the duvet and stumbled out of bed, grabbed his towel and headed for the bathroom. Halfway there, he stopped and looked back. “Glen?”

  No reply. Ben shook his head. He must have crept out and slept on the sofa downstairs again. The dog knew he shouldn't, but he liked it. Ben took a shower, brushed his teeth, got dressed, did all of the usual stuff, and checked that his bag contained everything he needed for the day. He wasn't starting work until 10am, so he was on time. There was just enough time for a quick coffee.

  “Oh, err, hi,” mumbled David, striding past, heading to his room. Ben nodded. He still wanted to punch him, but he'd promised Josie that he wouldn't, not until they sorted out a plan.

  Ben cursed the guy under his breath, before walking downstairs to the kitchen. He turned on the kettle, grabbed a mug and then headed to the lounge, expecting to find Glen, but he wasn't there. Perhaps he was lying behind the sofa? Nope. Ben checked the entire room. No dog. Putting his mug down, he ran upstairs and checked his own room again, followed by the bathroom. He even peeked into Josie's room. No dog. Someone must have shut him outside. Ben padded down the stairs and opened the front door. “Glen?” No response. He would normally come bounding up the stairs.

  This was strange. Even stranger, he was going to have to ask David if Glen was in his room – unlikely – or if he'd seen him lately. He knocked on the hatch. After a while, Mr Flicky Hair opened it, looking worried.

  “Seen Glen?” asked Ben in a none-too-friendly voice.

  “No mate, I haven't,” said David, acting more shifty than usual.

  Ben frowned. I'm not your mate, he thought.

  David watched as Ben walked back to his room. Should he tell him? He would go mad. David knew he should tell him, but what difference would it make? Ben would realise the dog was missing at some point, and then it would either be lost or found. It would make no difference now if he told him. Ben would only blame him and then there would be a bad atmosphere. Better to say nothing. He closed the hatch.

  Ben checked the house one more time, even though he realised the dog was missing. He grabbed his mobile and dialled a number. It rang four times before his co-worker answered.

  “Hi, Elaine, I've got a slight emergency at home. Can you cover for me?”

  “What's happened?”

  “It's Glen. He's vanished. I think he might have got out.”

  “Oh, Ben, don't worry. Report the dog and put up some posters or something. Ring the vet. That stuff is all important – don't worry about coming in.”

  “Are you sure? I can come by later.”

  “I'll be fine,” she said. “Today's a quiet day anyway. You know that!”

  “Thanks. I owe you one,” said Ben.

  “I know! Good luck!”

  Ben put the phone in his pocket. He took down a couple of photos of Ben from his bedroom wall and put them into his wallet. Grabbing his keys and jacket, he walked outside and whistled for Glen. There was no response. Ben walked the local streets and the park, looking. Whenever he passed anyone, he'd stop and show them one of the photos and ask if they'd seen his dog lately. The dog walkers said they were sorry, but they hadn't. Other people were less patient, and one or two drunken guys told him to get lost. All in all, no one had seen Glen, which was odd in itself. The park was his dog's favourite place. If he'd wandered off, Ben would have expected to find him there, chasing something.

  There were only two possibilities: Glen had been in an accident or someone had stolen him. Ben sat down on a park bench and rang his vet to report him missing. The receptionist wished him good luck in finding his dog and said they would put up a picture of him in the surgery. Ben thanked her. What next?

  The next stop was the police station. They weren't much help, and told him to try the RSPCA or PDSA in case his dog had been brought in. Nice. Barely controlling his anger, he left quickly. He rang both organisations, but no golden Labradors had been brought in. Ben tried the other local vets: nothing. Determined to find his dog, he walked home to make up some posters. On the way, he stopped in at the library and made A4 colour printouts of one of Glen's photos.

  Back home, Ben made up some posters in the kitchen. He stuck them on the lamp posts on his street and those nearby, in the park, at the local shop, and anywhere else he could think of. By early afternoon, he was exhausted of ideas. Glen had never gone missing before. He never wandered off. Ben wondered what else he could possibly do. Wait, he guessed. Just wait
.

  “Drrriiiinnnngggg!”

  The sound almost made him jump. He dug his mobile out of his pocket. It was Ayla. He wasn't sure if he was in the mood to speak to anyone right now, but he answered anyway, as it might be nice to hear a friendly voice.

  “Hi, Ayla, how are you?” he asked, trying to act normal. He flicked his thumb and forefinger nervously.

  “I'm fine. Ben, I'm ringing to ask if you've seen Mimi today?”

  “No,” he replied, rubbing his head. “Why would I have seen Mimi?”

  “I just wondered, on the off chance, if she was with your dog. Thing is, Mimi has gone missing.”

  “What?”

  “She's gone. Ms Hill got up today, around 8, and she was gone. The back door was open. She thinks someone has stolen her dog and then...”

  Ben couldn't listen to any more. “Glen's gone too.”

  “No! Since when?”

  Ben sighed. “When I went to bed last night, he was in my room, but when I got up this morning he was gone. David's in, but hasn't seen him. I checked the park and the streets, I rang the vet, went to the police. I've even put up posters with his picture on. All morning I've been looking.”

  “Oh, Ben, I'm sorry. Really I am,” said Ayla. “But what does this mean? Both dogs missing can't be a coincidence, surely?”

  “David! I bet David's behind this! I told you I should have sorted him out!”

  “But why would he, Ben? Think straight – why?”

  “I don't know, but I didn't expect him to steal my stuff and take my dog before. I'll ring you back!” he said, slamming his phone down on the sofa. It must be him. He sped up the stairs.

  Chapter 32

  “David!” he yelled, hammering on the hatch.

  “Hang on!” came a shout from inside.

  The hatch opened and Ben forced his way in, pushing David backwards. The taller man tripped, falling smack on the bed in astonishment. “What's wrong with you, man?”