by A C Warneke
“She bought a pregnancy test,” Toby piped in and Malorie thought her mortification was complete. And that was before she saw Jay’s appalled expression.
“You’re pregnant?” he growled, taking her aback by the vehemence in his voice. He grabbed her by the arm – not painfully, but firmly. For one moment, both of them looked at his hand on her arm and he let her go. When she looked back, his face was flushed but there was a look of… relief in his eyes. His voice was calmer when he asked, “Malorie, are you?”
She shrugged her shoulders, shaking her head no and denying it even as the possibility sang in the back of her head. Forcing a laugh, she said, “Of course not; I mean, I haven’t even gone on a date in six years – who’d be the father?”
He closed his eyes briefly, as if her words pained him, which was ridiculous. He had never expressed an interest in dating her, so it couldn’t be jealousy. It was just such an odd reaction. After a moment of agonizing silence, he opened his eyes and she realized that there was a stronger hint of green in them than she had thought; like the eyes of the man in her dream. Her breath caught in her throat; could she have been dreaming about Jay? About her neighbor?
He scrubbed his hands through his hair, releasing her as he did so and she was able to breathe a little easier: Jay didn’t have black hair. And while there might have been a vague similarity to the man in her dreams, she knew that it wasn’t Jay she dreamed about. Besides, Jay’s eyes were definitely more silver than green.
Jay’s smile looked strained as he asked, “Where are you heading now?”
“We’re getting ice cream,” Toby beamed, slipping his hand into Jay’s, looking up at him with devotion. “Do you want to join us?”
A low groan pulsed from the back of his throat and his smile was tight but he nodded his head, “I would love to join you. But I think I will have some pie since I don’t much care for ice cream.”
“It’s a sin not to like ice cream,” Malorie muttered automatically before her eyes widened and flew to his in embarrassment. His smile was now real as he laughed, his silver green eyes sparkling with amusement. A flash of recognition hit her, of Jay but not Jay: Jay with blond hair and diamonds; it was so… so… disconcerting, as if she were flashing on what he should look like instead of what he did look like.
“It’s too cold,” he answered in response to her unspoken question. “My brother tolerates it slightly better than I do but he doesn’t run as hot as me.”
What a strange statement to make; and why did he keep looking at her with that odd expression on his face? Bewildered, she walked alongside the man and her son, bracing herself against the ordeal to come. If it was a sin to not like ice cream, it was a mortal sin to throw it up so she opted for a glass of water.
Getting ice cream was testament to how much she loved her child. Though she didn’t actually toss up whatever air bubbles were left in her stomach, it was a close call. Thanks to a few deep breaths, she was able to get through the tribulation. Toby never suspected a thing, blissfully eating his two scoops of ice cream, mint chocolate chip and orange sherbet. On a good day that would have made her queasy.
Jay continued to study her intently, making her feel like a recalcitrant child. She tried to smile at him but her lips quivered and it wasn’t much of a smile. In truth, she had the feeling that he just didn’t quite know what to make of her; as if she were a puzzle he had to figure out. Which was just as well, since she thought the same thing about him.
Again, the image of him with bleached hair and rows of diamonds flashed in her head and she jumped. The image was so crystal clear, she was certain it was real. But it was in such opposition to the Jay she knew, the Jay that was sitting across from her laughing with her son. Shaking her head to clear it, she turned to Toby, “We need to get home.”
“Are you all right, Malorie?” Jay asked attentively, placing his palm on her forearm.
“Of course,” her smile was strained as she got to her feet and grabbed the strap of her purse. Suddenly she froze, glancing down at the perturbing bag than back to Jay; the thought of losing the purse in his presence….
“Malorie,” he said softly in a low, soothing voice. “Let me drive you home.”
Had he been there? With a frown, she glanced back at her purse – the purse that was not missing; the whole memory was wrong. How could she remember losing something that wasn’t even lost? Automatically, she handed him her car keys, knowing with absolute certainty that she was in no shape to drive. “Thank you.”
She quietly followed Jay and Toby as they made their way to her car, her thoughts whirling at a thousand miles per hour. It was so… bizarre. Mindlessly, she climbed into the passenger side, barely aware of Jay strapping Toby into the backseat, of Jay starting the car, of Jay driving home. Who was he?
Once they were safely ensconced in the privacy of their home and Jay had returned to his own home, Mal asked Toby if he wouldn’t mind coloring for a few minutes while she used the bathroom. He had rolled his eyes and accused her of spending way too much time in the bathroom lately, but he grinned and headed off to gather his coloring supplies.
And so it was that Malorie found herself in the awkward position of taking a pregnancy test when she couldn’t remember sleeping with anybody that was corporeal in the last six years.
She shook as she set the completed tests on the counter; figuring it was best to get them both out of the way at one time. And as they did their thing, she slowly and methodically washed her hands, giving her reflection a pep talk about the absolute improbability of the test coming back positive, let alone two tests coming back positive.
There was a flaw in her logic somewhere, but she didn’t want to examine it too closely. And since washing her hands only took half a minute and the test required two to achieve maximum results, she splashed some cool water on her face.
It was the longest two minutes of her life. And while she knew she hadn’t had sex in ages, there was that niggling voice in the back of her head that said maybe she had, maybe the memory was there but it was behind a wall and if she just concentrated hard enough it would come back to her.
Malorie wasn’t too keen on exploring that possibility. She didn’t want to discover she had some sort of disease that made her leave her house – her son – find some random stranger and screw him.
Before the two minutes were up, feeling foolish for even entertaining the idea, she glanced at the tests and felt the world flip over. When she opened her eyes again, the counter was way above her and her head hurt a little. Rubbing the sore spot, she pulled herself to her feet and sat down heavily on the toilet.
Both tests had two lines.
The trembling in her hands had turned to full-blown shakes; she was pregnant and had no recollection of the conception.
An image of the black-haired demi-god popped into her head but she dismissed it; he wasn’t real. He was just a dream.
Closing her eyes, she pictured him again and could feel the weight of his body as it crushed her to the bed, the feel of his cock as he stretched her, the smell of his skin as he moved inside of her. His name was right on the tip of her tongue; something that started with a F. Fer something.
“Mommy!” Toby’s voice interrupted her thoughts and she opened her eyes. “Mommy, come see what I drew!”
“One moment, sweetie!” Shaking her head, she gathered up the empty box and stuffed the used tests and directions back into it. That… thing grumbled at the back of her head but she was too frazzled to pay it much attention.
If she ever discovered her dream lover was real, he was going to have an awful lot of explaining to do. She stilled, suddenly knowing exactly what it was she was going to do.
*****
Nervous and feeling extremely foolish and a little bit insane, Malorie sat in the big chair next to her window in her bedroom and waited for something, she just wasn’t sure what. She was fairly certain she would know it when it happened. Or she was going mad and this was just another symptom. W
hy else stay awake when every bone in her body begged to lie down on the nice, plush bed and fall asleep?
She had tucked Toby in several hours before and was fighting to stay alert. It was especially difficult because she had purposefully left the lights off in the hopes of catching the source of her strange dreams, assuming there was an outside source. Her entire plan depended on there being one. Her eyes were so heavy and she would find herself slumping down in the chair, so comfortable despite the awkward angle, that she would almost fall asleep.
In truth, she probably did fall asleep a few times but she’d jolt awake, knowing that sleep was the enemy. She had the peculiar feeling that she had done this before, this staying awake and waiting. Only before, there was a general sense of unease and she hadn’t been alone. Plus, there had been some really terrible coffee. In that state half way between dreams and reality, she could remember the fear as she and her… friends? fellow soldiers? prepared for… for battle. It didn’t make any sense and as her mind woke continued to drift, the memories seemed like dreams. Why? Well, she was hoping to find out and she was fairly sure that it had to do with staying awake all night.
She must have dozed off again because her body jerked and she was startled awake, not sure why she was sitting in the chair, hoping that they weren’t under attack. But then she remembered that she wasn’t a warrior, that there wasn’t a war raging around her. She scrubbed her hands over her face, still a bit shaken from the dream when she realized that there was a soft rustling sound coming from her bathroom.
At first, she froze, realizing that though she suspected something was off she hadn’t exactly expected a person. She wasn’t sure what she thought; perhaps thinking it was a ghost or… pixies. Yet when she thought of it that way, she wasn’t sure if that was a better alternative to a possible thief. But what would he be doing in the bathroom? She didn’t keep any valuables in there so unless he wanted toilet paper….
Cautiously, silently, she climbed out of the chair, ignoring the muscles that protested the movement after so many hours in one position. This was strangely familiar, too. Quietly, she tip-toed across the room to her bathroom, wishing that the bathroom light was on so she could see if there was someone in there. Well, she knew that someone was in there; she just wasn’t sure…. Oh, jeeze, she wasn’t making any sense. Maybe because her heart was pounding so hard she was afraid the… person snooping in the bathroom would hear her and she wouldn’t be able to sneak up on him. Or her. No, it was a him.
Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to try to trap the… person who managed to sneak into her bedroom at night and do things to her while she slept. For surely, that would explain the unexplained pregnancy; some pervert seduced her after she had gone to sleep and her mind converted it into highly erotic dreams. That would also explain the tender body parts that one morning. But why wasn’t she tender any other morning even though she had some pretty x-rated dreams?
Yet, she knew that it was the… person in the bathroom who was causing her all of this consternation. Putting her hand on the door knob, she slowly turned it, taking a long, deep breath and holding it. Then she slammed the door open and squeezed her eyes shut.
Idiot! She called herself, peaking one eye open and seeing a large, dark shadow standing there. Grateful that she took that breath, she opened her mouth to scream when he moved, pressing a hand over her mouth and capturing her around the waist. Her eyes widened as he stepped into the moonlight spilling in through the windows. Black hair fell to broad shoulders; piercing green eyes looked into her soul; a chiseled face with sculpted lips that were achingly familiar. Her heart raced in her chest and it was difficult to think; she knew him.
Slowly, he removed his hand, holding her captive with just his eyes. She breathed in his familiar scent, “I know you.”
Chapter 14
“I know you,” she murmured again as his palm cradled her cheek, catching the dark, masculine scent of his skin as he moved his hand. And all at once, everything was returned to how it should have been. Her memories clamored in her head, squeezing out the false weeks she had spent in the obscenely perfect world. Feryn simply stared at her, a grim expression tightening his face as she remembered her past, her days as a Blade Soldier, being bit, being captured. Succumbing to him, making love to him. Falling in love with him. Being rejected by him.
Moisture welled up in her eyes and a tear spilled out as she reeled her hand back and slapped him across that beautiful face of his. The resounding crack echoed in the room but he didn’t flinch and he didn’t try to stop her when she pounded on his chest, the emotions too much to bear. He simply held her in his arms and let her work through her anger, stoically taking the punishment.
Of course, with his muscles, he probably didn’t feel a thing and it quickly wore her out. Plus, she was crying so hard she was finding it difficult to breathe and she collapsed into his arms while he held her and stroked her hair, “Shh, it’s all right.”
“It’s not all right, you bastard,” she seethed, hiccupping from all of the sobbing.
She tilted her head back and looked up at him and realized that was a mistake; he was so achingly familiar, the man she loved and the man who betrayed her. It made her heart hurt, her body hurt. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against his chest, taking comfort from the one who caused her this pain.
He smoothed his large hands over her back, warming her, calming her. Pissing her off. Forcing her traitorous body to step back, she glared up at him, “What the hell are you doing in my bathroom anyway?”
His jaw was clenched together and he couldn’t quite meet her eyes, “I was looking for the results of the pregnancy test.”
Her nostrils flared as rage flashed through her. “You’ve been spying on my?”
“It isn’t like that, Malorie,” he ground out in a low rasp, his voice entering all of the cold corners of her soul and warming them and causing her skin to vibrate.
“Then tell me what it is like because these past couple of weeks have been hell.”
The strangest expression came over his face; shock, disbelief. Confusion. “Explain.”
She was too enraged to speak and could only throw her hands up in the air and turn away, walking a few steps before spinning around and facing him. “You promised me that I wouldn’t remember you; you never said anything about changing all of my memories.”
“I wanted to give you happiness, Malorie,” he said softly, his expression stricken as he looked at her, refusing to look away. “Peace.”
“It didn’t work.” She tried to hold his gaze but there was too much emotion in the green depths. Crossing her arms over her chest, she looked out the window into the perfect world he had created, the world that was a lie.
“I should have worked,” he insisted. “I changed everything for you.”
“You went back in time and changed my life?” Her head whipped around and she stared at him in disbelief. It was even more appalling than she had imagined….
“Of course not,” he denied distractedly, waving his hand through the air. “I cannot change the past, I can only observe.”
“Huh?” there were so many thoughts trying to fight for her attention that she was barely keeping it all together.
“It’s like this island,” he said by way of explanation, though it made even less sense than the idea of hopping into a phone booth and falling through history. Seeing her expression, he continued, “It’s slightly out of synch with the rest of the world and remains hidden to human eyes.”
“Uh huh,” she murmured with skepticism. “And how were you able to create new memories?”
“I am able to… extrapolate probable futures given certain information; I simply chose the paths that led to your greatest happiness,” he shrugged his broad shoulders, a slight smile tipping the corners of his mouth. “I only want you to be happy.”
“Then you shouldn’t have tried to change my memories!” she cried out, throwing her arms up in the air and beginning to pace again. �
��You failed big time.”
“I do not try and I did not fail,” he said arrogantly. “I did change them.”
“Only superficially,” she snapped, her eyes flashing with the anger and hurt that was threatening to boil over. “And it did NOT work; at night I would remember fragments of my life before and during the day….” She had to take a moment to catch her breath. “And during the day I felt like an imposter; everything was wrong. You stole my husband’s place in my memories; I couldn’t forget you so I was forgetting Jack instead and that… that….”
“It should have worked,” he said quietly when her words trailed off and she wasn’t able to complete the sentence. Her own guilt ate away at her and that made her want to lash out at Feryn and that wasn’t fair. She had loved Jack; she simply loved Feryn more.
“It. Didn’t,” she repeated, trying desperately to hold onto the rage that was consuming her. But it was so difficult with the memories of her life being returned to her all at once; she was having a sensory overload and trying to argue while her brain was being fried was challenging. If only Feryn would take her into his arms and hold her until the world stopped spinning. And then they could fight.
“My son made you forget….”
She laughed harshly, “One event that lasted maybe ten minutes, not my entire life.”
“It’s the same thing!” His jaw tightened, frustration making his voice rough. “It’s not something I would have done had I known it wouldn’t work.”
“How could you even know?”
“I’ve done it many times and I have never failed.” He turned away, dragging his long fingers through his hair, his back muscles flexing beneath the tight shirt he wore. Malorie had to force herself to pay attention to what he was saying. Her mind was being ripped apart and Feryn looked so yummy…
“I have to change the memories of every human that has ever steeped foot on the island.” His words caught up to her and she concentrated on watching his lips move, hoping the visual would help the audible. Unfortunately, it made her want to taste the visual…. “I cannot allow anyone to know about an island that isn’t there; outsiders would find a way to discover it and we would be exposed.
