Logan

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  “No. There was nothing. I’m sorry, Cece, but this may end up going nowhere. Please be careful and look out for anyone suspicious. We’ll keep working our end and hopefully we’ll come up with something.”

  Cece nodded and we set up a time for her to sit with a sketch artist, then we walked out of the building to the parking lot. Cece held her head high as we left the police station, but I knew that had been a blow for her. I’d just have to be her shadow for a while, something I would willingly do. Now I just had to convince Cece that it was for the best.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Cecelia

  He was still out there and they didn’t know if they would be able to find him. I didn’t know quite how to take that news. It was very possible that this man saw me, attacked me, and had never seen me before in his life. However, that didn’t match up to what he had said to me. Everything that he said suggested that he had been watching me or at least had seen me a few times. On top of that, he had known that I was in the office after hours, which meant he had to have been watching me. I tried not to let on how much that creeped me out. I had become a confident woman over the past ten years and I wouldn’t allow this asshole to take that away from me.

  Before I realized what was happening, Logan had taken me back to the hotel and ushered me inside. I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t realized where we were going. Now I wasn’t sure what to do. Logan had been great with me, but I couldn’t forget what he did to me all those years ago. He had been great with me back then also, until he wasn’t. Logan wasn’t someone that you could rely on. Logan was someone that you fucked and he was excellent at it, but it would never be more between us and I needed to keep that in focus.

  As we walked into the hotel room, I had a new plan that included sex and getting over that creepy guy’s hands on me. Logan would do that for me or I would go home. That was what I needed from him and I would get it.

  “Do you want to order some dinner or go out to eat?” He picked up the room service menu and started flipping through it.

  “I want something to eat, but it has nothing to do with food.”

  Logan stopped his perusal and looked up at me uncomfortably.

  “Yeah, I’m not in the mood right now. I’m kinda beat. I think I just want to eat dinner and go to sleep.”

  I called bullshit. I walked up to him and grabbed his cock and started stroking him. He hardened instantly under my touch and I knew what this was about.

  “Hmm. Either you’re lying to me because you think it’s too soon for me to want sex or you don’t want me because you think I’m damaged goods. Based on the size of your cock right now, I would say it’s the first one.”

  He gulped and closed his eyes for a second before pulling my hand away from him. “Look, I get that you want to feel normal, but this isn’t the way.”

  “I didn’t ask you for your opinion. I want to fuck, so either give me that or I’ll go find someone else that will give me what I want.”

  He stared at me, his eyes turning cold. Obviously, he didn’t like my demands, but I didn’t give a shit at the moment. I knew what I needed and nobody was going to tell me differently.

  “I’m not gonna fuck you right now. You were attacked last night and you may not see it, but fucking me is not going to help you feel better about yourself.”

  Grabbing my belongings, I turned and walked out the door, not looking back. If he wouldn’t fuck me, I’d find somebody else that was willing. Right now, all I wanted was someone’s hands on me that would erase the memory of the creep from last night. I got in my car and headed back to my apartment. Vira wasn’t home, so I would be going out alone tonight. It didn’t bother me, I used to do it all the time in Philadelphia. I had a few girlfriends, but no one understood me like Vira. I picked up some Mexican on the way home and sat in front of the TV while I ate. I had a few hours before I would head out, so I took a shower and gave myself a manicure and pedicure. I took extra time to do my hair and makeup. I needed to look spectacular tonight. Not just any guy would do tonight. I needed the best of the best and getting the best required looking your best.

  I got into the club with no problems when the bouncer recognized me. He gave me an appreciative look that normally gave me a confidence boost, but tonight made me self-conscious. Forgetting that feeling, I strutted to the bar and ordered an amaretto stone sour. I didn’t need to be drunk tonight, but I wanted to let loose more than what I was currently feeling. As I drank, I scoped out the tables, looking for a guy to take home. A table in the corner had five guys drinking beer and laughing. A few of them were pretty good prospects, but I wouldn’t know for sure until I got closer.

  I swayed my hips as I walked over to their table and immediately caught their attention. Three were particularly interested, which I assumed meant that the other two were already taken. One was extremely good looking, but the other two were also hot. I would be lucky to go home with any of them tonight. I felt like myself again as their eyes roamed over my body. I was wearing skin tight jeans, a halter that had a deep v down to my belly button with a strand of beads holding the two sides together, and black stilettos.

  “Hey, boys. I’m looking for someone to have fun with tonight.” I raised one eyebrow and gave a saucy smile. “Anyone game?”

  I turned on my heel and strutted my stuff over to the dance floor. I started dancing and felt two arms wrap around my waist and was slightly surprised when one of the other guys appeared in front of me. I didn’t normally dance with more than one guy at a time, but tonight I wanted to let loose and feel like me again. It may be slightly reckless, but my body was telling me to go with it. The three of us spent the next hour grinding on the dance floor, our sweaty bodies rubbing against one another. It was erotic and exactly what I needed.

  I was ready to get out of there, so I turned to them and gave a wicked grin.

  “I’ll be heading back to my place now. Care to join me?”

  I hadn’t even gotten their names and I didn’t need to. They were fun for the night and nothing more. One looked at the other and they seemed to agree to both go because they followed me out the door a minute later. I told them to follow me home and I got in my car, excitement running through my veins. When we walked into my building, the stairs sounded like a good idea. No better way to get in the mood then by having them stare at my ass for a few flights.

  When I rounded the corner to my apartment though, my smile faltered. Logan was standing outside my door and he clocked me as soon as I rounded the corner. There was no mistaking what was going on here. I had two men that were following me back to my apartment. Then it registered that this was the perfect form of revenge. I was taking two men back to my apartment to fuck and I would walk right past him. My smile returned as I walked to my door.

  Logan glared at me and the two men following.

  “You’ll fucking leave if you know what’s good for you,” he snarled.

  “I didn’t know we were expecting a third guy. No offense man, but I’m not really cool with that. I don’t know you,” handsome man number one said.

  “You weren’t invited to the party, Logan.” I turned and opened my door. “Boys, why don’t you go ahead and make yourselves comfortable. I’ll be right in.”

  They walked through the door and I caught a glimpse of one taking off his shirt. He had a nice body and I couldn’t help staring. Logan grabbed my arm and spun me against the wall. Anger poured off him and his eyes pierced through to my heart. He was begging me not to do this, but I had already made up my mind and I wouldn’t back down.

  “Don’t do this, Cece. This isn’t going to help. Please. You’re only going to regret this.”

  I stared straight into his eyes, giving him my best bitch face. “Logan, for some reason, you seem to think that your opinion would matter to me. We fucked and that’s it. Don’t go making it out to be more than that. Besides, I already offered myself to you and you turned me down. What I do in my spare time is no longer your concern.” />
  He pulled back sharply. I could see that my words stung and that’s precisely what I was going for. It wasn’t exactly the way I had planned my revenge, but it worked nonetheless. He stepped back further and put his hands in his pockets, then he turned and walked away. I needed to get him out of my mind. Shaking off his look, I stepped into my apartment and faced two gorgeously naked men. They each still had their boxers on. I’m guessing it would have been uncomfortable for them to both be standing around with their junk hanging out.

  I had never done this before, so I didn’t really know where to start. Luckily, hot guy number one walked over to me and pulled me in for a hot kiss. I felt his hands grip my ass, but then there was a body behind me. Warm lips caressed my neck at the same time that another set of lips took my mouth. There were so many sensations running through my body. My nipples tightened, my pussy clenched with need, and my heart hammered in my chest. Hands roamed over my ass and my breasts. Erections pressed at me from both sides.

  Fingers untied my halter and pulled my top over my head, exposing my breasts to the man before me. His mouth covered my nipples and sucked them playfully. The man behind skimmed his hands down my sides and removed my shoes. His hands ran across my pussy as he reached up and unzipped my jeans, dragging them down my legs. I was losing track of who was touching me where. When I felt fingers pressing at my wet folds at the same time my nipples were being pulled, I shot off like a rocket, moaning and screaming in ecstasy. I practically collapsed and one of them caught me and carried me over to my bedroom. He placed me on the bed and told me to get on my knees, my body willingly following his command.

  Over the next hour, I was fucked in every hole possible. My body was deliciously used and I couldn’t take much more tonight. Luckily, I didn’t need to ask them to leave because when they caught their breath, they started getting dressed. I thanked them for the fun time and walked them to the front door. One of them asked for my number, but I wasn’t interested in repeating. I hardly ever did, except with Logan, but that was different. I was using him. I let the guys out and watched them walk down the hall. I was just about to close the door when I heard his voice.

  “I guess I don’t have to ask how it went.”

  I turned to see Logan walking towards me from the other end of the hall. I couldn’t read his face. Normally, I could tell what he was thinking, but he was closed off now. I wondered if he thought I was a slut or if he pitied me. The anger of his rejection still coursed through me and I had a hard time feeling bad at the moment. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the doorframe.

  “Spying on me? Trying to see if I moaned louder for them than I did for you?”

  He looked down and let out a small chuckle. The thing was, that chuckle sounded so sad and that made me feel like shit. I wasn’t sure why. He deserved everything I was dishing out. When he looked back up at me, he almost looked like I had hurt him, but that couldn’t be possible. Logan only cared while it was good for him.

  “I was worried that you might freak out, so I stuck around.”

  “Well, as you can see, I’m perfectly fine and I’m sure you heard how much I enjoyed it.”

  He stared at me in concern, his eyes studying my face for any sign I wasn’t okay. Then he wiped all emotion from his face. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” He turned and walked down the hall before I could say anything else. I was a little stunned. Everything in me was screaming that Logan didn’t really care that much. He would have walked away eventually and if I had stuck around, I would have ended up with a broken heart again, but that didn’t jive with the man that had just walked away.

  I shut the door as he disappeared and looked at my apartment, my clothes strewn on the floor. I didn’t feel bad for what happened here tonight. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and that was what I needed tonight, but for some reason, I wanted to cry. My chest started to hurt and I felt tears prick my eyes. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was upset because I had hurt Logan. I could see it in his eyes as I baited him. He had wanted to help me and I tossed him aside. He stuck around to see if I was alright and had heard everything that was going on in my apartment. That was cruel and unusual punishment to put himself through, and he had done it for me. To make sure I didn’t get hurt.

  A cry tore out of my mouth and I sank to the floor. I had meant to get my revenge on him, but I never knew it would hurt so much. I had slept with many guys over the years, but they always knew there would never be more. I had told that to Logan also, but he didn’t let me push him away, and when I was hurting, he was there for me. Revenge had been sweet, but the aftermath was excruciatingly painful.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  The next morning, I woke to the smell of coffee, which was unusual because Vira never willingly got out of bed in the morning on a weekend. I climbed out of bed and went to the kitchen where Vira sat on a stool. Her look said that I was in big trouble. I needed coffee to deal with her this morning, so I grabbed my cup and doctored it up before sitting down with her.

  “Okay, lay it on me.”

  “Would you like to tell me why Sean texted me that I needed to keep an eye on you because Logan would no longer be around? I thought that was the plan, but you didn’t tell me you were that far along.”

  She eyed me skeptically and I knew I was busted. She could always tell when I was trying to hide stuff from her. Better to tell her now and move on with my day.

  “Let’s just say the plan moved forward unexpectedly.”

  “Meaning what?”

  I explained to her what happened at the police station and a look of sympathy crossed her face, then rage.

  “You mean to tell me that he wasn’t gonna stick around because that asshole’s on the loose?”

  “No. He was perfectly willing to stick around, but when we got back to the hotel, I asked him to fuck me and he wouldn’t. He said it wouldn’t help me and I would only be hurting myself. So, I walked out the door and last night I went to the club and picked up someone….someone’s.” I turned my head away and blushed. I normally wasn’t a prude, but this was a lot even for me.

  “You picked up two guys? Nice. Were they good in bed?”

  “That part was great. They were exactly what I needed. I just wanted to get out of my head and not feel, but Logan seemed to think it was moving too fast after the attack. He just didn’t get that that’s what I needed.”

  “Honey, there’s nothing wrong with what you did. Not everyone is going to feel the same way in that situation. You did what you had to do and screw him if he doesn’t understand.”

  This was what I loved about Vira, unconditional support. She never judged me, probably because I learned from her, but she always knew what I needed.

  “Well, it was all good until we got back here and Logan was waiting in the hallway. I basically told him that since he wouldn’t give me what I needed, I found it somewhere else. Honestly, my first thought was that it was the ultimate revenge.”

  “I’d say. Waving two guys in his face had to be a shot to the nuts.”

  “Well, like I said, they were great in bed and I was very satisfied, until they left and Logan was still in the hallway. He had waited around to make sure I didn’t freak out and he heard everything. I wish I could say that it made me feel good, but when I realized how sincere he was being, I felt like a total shit bag. I got my revenge, but I totally hurt him.”

  “That’s what you wanted though. You can’t tell me that you honestly didn’t think he would be hurt by the time you were done with him?”

  “It’s not that.” I fiddled with my coffee mug as I tried to think about what exactly I was trying to say. “No one ever tells you how horrible you’ll feel when you hurt someone else like that. I only thought about how I felt after he left me ten years ago. I thought revenge would feel great, but the look on his face…it wasn’t worth it. I don’t feel vindicated. I feel like I’m lower than him. He doesn’t even know who I really am. I manipulated him.”

&nbs
p; “And you’re trying to tell me that he didn’t totally ruin you ten years ago? You changed everything about yourself to the point that he doesn’t even recognize you.”

  I was ashamed now and I couldn’t look at her. My voice was quiet as I finally came out and said the truth of the matter. “Come on, Vira. It was ten years ago. We were both young and stupid. How many guys do you know that wouldn’t run when a girl clings to him and tells him she loves him at that age? I’m not saying it was right, but we were so young. I’m older now and I know better than to play with someone’s heart like that. I know the damage it causes.” Tears filled my eyes as shame took over my body. “He said horrible things to me, but I let two guys into my apartment, ready to fuck them, while knowing that he knew exactly what was going on inside. He may have been an asshole, but I’m scum for what I did. Even if I wanted a chance with him, I could never get it now.”

  “Is that what you want? A chance?”

  “I don’t know and I guess now I’ll never have the opportunity to find out. He was starting to wear me down and I wonder now how much longer I would have lasted before I started to fall again.”

  “You know, if you want a chance with him, there are two little words that can go a long way to helping you.”

  “Fuck you?” I said as I threw a pillow at her. No one liked being told they needed to apologize to someone else, but she was right. Even if nothing came of it, I owed him an apology for my behavior.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  I basically spent the rest of Sunday drowning in my own sorrow and sleeping. I contacted my boss and told him I needed to stop at the police station tomorrow to meet with a sketch artist. He was very understanding and apologized profusely for what happened. He said he’d taken security measures to ensure staff safety. I hoped he was right because right now, I was not feeling like walking back into that building. I wanted to ask to work from home, but if I got stuck in that way of life, I might become a hermit.

  Monday morning, I walked into the police station at eight-thirty. My palms were sweaty and I felt like my heart would leap out of my chest at any moment. Could people see it pounding through my blouse? I looked down, relieved to see that it wasn’t that noticeable.