Logan

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  Vira knew that I was upset all weekend, but she had been working and hadn’t had time to talk. She must have known something big was going down because she got up early to talk to me before I went to work.

  “Hey, don’t you dare walk out that door before you tell me what’s going on with you.”

  I sighed and walked over to the kitchen to pour myself another cup of coffee. When I finally worked up the courage, I admitted what was going on.

  “My plan backfired on me. Logan figured out that it was me that spread the rumors about his business and he came to my work to confront me.”

  She started laughing, not yet knowing the worst of it. “Damn. Payback’s a bitch, huh?” When I didn’t start laughing, she looked at me in confusion. “I don’t understand. Why is this a bad thing?”

  “He heard me talking to you when we were in the bar a while ago. He heard me tell you all that stuff about how I don’t love him and I was using him. I guess he was planning to ask me to move in with him and he was going to tell me he loved me, but then he heard me talking to you and he broke up with me.”

  “Oh, but you said you don’t love him.”

  “I was lying to myself. I didn’t want to admit that I did because I was afraid he would hurt me again.”

  “Which he did.”

  “Yes, but only because of what he overheard. Now I’ll never know what would have happened. Anyway, his company is in a lot of trouble over my gossip and I have to try to fix it or his company could go under and all those people would lose their jobs. There’s only one way of fixing it that the investors at his company might accept. I have to go and admit to them what I did.”

  “Cece, you can’t do that. You’ll lose your job and you’ll never get another job in marketing again.”

  “I know, but I made the decision to do what I did and now I have to live with the consequences. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try.”

  “When are you doing this?”

  “This morning. I’ve called a meeting with the director of VAS and the investors to go over marketing strategies. I’ll tell them about it then. Hopefully, they’ll hire back Logan’s company.”

  “What are you going to do about your job?”

  “I’ll hand in my resignation after I talk to my boss. I think that’s the only fair thing to do. The things I said, it puts the trust of the company at stake. I could never expect them to keep me on and I haven’t worked there long enough to ask for anything.”

  We sat there for a minute, contemplating everything I had just revealed. There was nothing Vira could do to make the situation better and she didn’t try. Finally, I got up off the couch to head in for my last day at work.

  “I’ll call you when it’s all over. I need to get in to work and explain myself before I head off to my meeting.”

  “Good luck, sweetie.” She stood up and gave me a hug before I slipped out the door.

  I would have expected my heart to be racing a million miles a minute all the way to work, but there was a sad sort of resignation that came with what I was about to do. I took the elevator to my floor and went straight for Mr. Johnson’s office. I didn’t feel it was necessary to involve the other two partners of JNP. He was the person I answered to most often, so I thought he would do.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Johnson. Do you have a minute?”

  “Yes, please come in.” He waved me in and I walked forward, standing in front of his desk.

  “I need to talk with you about what happened on Friday with Mr. Walker.”

  “Of course. Sit down.”

  I took the seat across from him and told him exactly what happened. I didn’t go into details about my relationship with Logan, but gave him a cut and dry account of what transpired between us and how I started the rumors. His face was a mask, but his eyes showed clear disappointment.

  “I’m well aware that my actions are a poor reflection on the company, so I’ve written up my resignation and I will be out of the office within the hour. I have a meeting with VAS to explain myself so that Jackson Walker Construction can hopefully salvage the account. I was also planning to hand over the marketing strategy I had done up for them as a sign of good faith on behalf of JNP, if you give me permission to do so.”

  He studied me for a minute and then gave a curt nod. “I’m disappointed. You showed great promise in the company. I would like to say that you still have a job, but you’re absolutely right. Your actions make us look like we can’t be trusted. You will be terminated without severance and without a reference. If you put us down for a reference, I’m afraid you’ll only get a negative one.”

  I nodded and swallowed hard. “I know. Thank you for your time. I’ll pack my things and be on my way.” I stood and turned to go, but then looked back one last time. He was studying his blank desk and I hated that I had let him down.

  “I want you to know that I regret what I did and I’m very sorry for what I did to the company. I know it doesn’t mean much to you now, but I still wanted you to know.”

  I turned and walked out and down to my office. I collected my things and walked out with my head held high. People were staring and gossiping, but I couldn’t think about that now. I had one more stop to make before this day would be over.

  The drive over to the hotel where VAS and the investors usually met left me on the brink of tears. It was a ten minute drive over, which left me plenty of time to think over how I had royally screwed up my life. By the time I reached the hotel and found the meeting room, I was a jumbled mess. It was one thing to admit my transgressions to my boss. It was another to admit them to a room full of men that would now look at me as a woman scorned who took things a step too far. On top of which, Cassandra would be there to judge me also. It was just too many people judging me in one room. Still, I was no coward. I pulled my shoulders back and walked into the room that was filled and ready for the meeting to begin. I walked to the head of the table, where they were expecting me to give my presentation.

  I set down the marketing boards I had brought with me and cleared my throat.

  “Thank you all for coming today. I know you all think that this is a marketing meeting, and it is to an extent, but I am here to talk to you about another matter. I recently made some very unwise decisions that I’m sure will affect your opinion of me and whether or not you would like me to continue my work with your foundation.

  I found myself in the position to spread some awful gossip about a man I was dating….Spreading gossip wouldn’t be correct. I made up some awful things about his company and used my marketing contacts to spread my lies. I felt I had been wronged and took advantage of a situation that I saw available. It was reprehensible and has now left him in a precarious situation with his own company.” I took a deep breath and looked at all of their wary faces. “The man I was dating was one of the owners of Jackson Walker Construction. I was the one that manufactured the lies about his building codes not being up to par and them padding their pockets with outrageous material costs.

  I want you all to know that they are an honest company with good employees that would never do such reprehensible things. This project actually means quite a bit to them because two of their friends are vets. One of which, had a difficult time when returning from war. I’m sure Cassandra could go over some of the wonderful things they had planned for this facility that would have been implemented by their friend.”

  One of the investors interrupted me, leaning forward in his seat. “How do we know that any of this is true? You could be doing all this to save your boyfriend’s ass.”

  “As of this morning, I was terminated from my job. I went to my boss before I came here and told him what I had done. I will never have a job in marketing again after this and I am sure the only job I would be able to find would be as a waitress. Still, it was the right thing to do. Many people could lose their jobs because of what I did and I can’t live with that. You can confirm my story with my boss if you’d like. Also, he gave me permission
to hand you my marketing plans I came up with for the project. If you would like to use them and would like me to further consult, I will, but I understand if you don’t want me anywhere near this project.

  As for my boyfriend, we haven’t been together for a while. Yes, I am trying to save his ass because he doesn’t deserve what I’ve done to him. I hope that you reconsider having Jackson Walker Construction as your contractors. They were your first choice for a reason and I ask you to remember that.”

  I gathered my things and quietly walked to the door. No one said anything to me and I couldn’t tell what they were going to do. I caught Cassandra’s eye as I left and saw disappointment on her face. The men all looked disgusted with me and I couldn’t blame them. I walked to my car and drove home, finally breaking down when I stepped foot inside my apartment.

  Vira found me curled up in a ball on the couch when she got home. That’s where I spent the next week, crying over the loss of Logan, my job, and frankly, my sanity.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  It turns out that I was pretty spot on concerning my job prospects. I interviewed at several places for a receptionist position, but when they asked about my previous employment and why I was leaving marketing, I was forced to tell them the truth. I wasn’t about to lie and have it come back to bite me later. Turns out, nobody wanted me anywhere near their company, which I had expected.

  After a week of job searching, I decided that getting something temporary would be best for now. I went down to a diner that was usually busy and applied for a job there. I figured that at least I could earn some tips that way. I didn’t dare apply at The Pub. While I would probably earn better tips, I didn’t know how to bartend and that was a favorite hangout of Logan’s. It was best at this point to avoid him at all costs.

  The owner of Maggie’s Diner, took me back to the office and sat down behind her desk, waving me towards another chair. I sat down and looked around the office. It was definitely a far cry from where I was working, but then again, maybe I deserved to be knocked down a peg or two.

  Her name was Sylvia and she was a beautiful woman in her fifties, I would guess. She had dark brown hair that was pulled up in a bun and she wore jeans and a t-shirt that advertised the diner. Her expression was no nonsense as she looked me over. Straight forward was definitely the best route with this woman. If this didn’t work, I would have to move to a town that didn’t know anything of me.

  “So, I see you have quite a bit of education listed. May I ask why you are applying for a job as a waitress?”

  “Basically, I got revenge on my boyfriend in a very inappropriate way and I have now been blackballed from any marketing company or any company that has any information that would be sensitive to them.”

  “Did he deserve it?”

  “I thought so at the time. It turns out I was wrong and I corrected my mistake, but it was at the expense of my job.”

  She stared at me, looking me over and judging me. I was really tired of being judged at this point and just wished I could blend into the wallpaper.

  “Well, men always need to be taught a lesson. I’m sure he learned his, right or wrong. I have no problem with you as long as you don’t bring that into my diner. I expect a professional attitude and all drama to be left at home. You arrive to work at least five minutes before your shift and always have a smile on your face and you’ll be fine.”

  I smiled at her, happy that I at least had a job to go to now. “I can do that. When do I start?”

  “You’ll work the morning shift into the afternoon. Come in tomorrow at five in the morning. We open at six. I’ll show you around and teach you how to set up. Then we’ll get you on the schedule for mornings every day. If you want overtime, you let me know. I can always use extra hands. Some of my girls aren’t always reliable. Wear jeans and comfortable shoes. I’ll give you a few tshirts to take home with you.”

  She stood up from her desk and walked over to a box, grabbing a few shirts. She handed me three and walked towards the office door. “If you want more than three, let me know. They’re ten dollars a piece.

  “Thank you so much. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  I went out to my car and drove home. I was happy to have a job, but the hours would be killer. Still, it was a job and that was more than I had yesterday.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  Adjusting to my new schedule and job was a little difficult. I hadn’t ever gotten up that early in all my life for any reason. Doing it every day was not the most fun and even less fun was the fact that I now went to bed early at night. The work was hard and I only had a small amount of experience in waitressing from nine years ago when I was in school. Turns out, not that much has changed, so it was easy to slip back into that role.

  My feet were killing me at the end of every day and my back was always sore. I also ended up taking extra shifts to make up for the lack of income I now had. I had an extravagant lifestyle when I had a good job. Sure, I had saved money, but not as much as I should have. I bought clothes to match my profession and also clothes for my nightlife. I ate out a lot when I was working in marketing because I never wanted to cook, but now I was finding myself at the grocery store more than I ever had in my life.

  I’d been working at Maggie’s for two weeks and, for the most part, I enjoyed my job. The people that came in were nice and Sylvia was a great boss. She was actually a lot like me, only an older version. As great as all that was though, when I went home at the end of the day, I couldn’t help but remember how wonderful my life used to be. The move back home was supposed to be a happy one. Instead, in the past six months, I had run into my old boyfriend, fallen in love with him, deceived him, and ruined a perfectly good job, as well as my reputation. It was depressing to think about.

  My mom had called, asking me to come over for dinner tonight and I knew what was coming. I had called to tell her I lost my job the day after it happened, but I hadn’t revealed all that I had done. She had been patiently waiting for me to explain things and now was as good a time as any.

  I walked up to the house I grew up in and tentatively knocked on the door. My mom answered the door and wrapped me in a hug. She always had a way of making me feel better, but she was only going to be disappointed by the time dinner was over. There was something fantastic cooking on the stove and the aromas drifted out of the kitchen and wrapped around me.

  Mom walked us into the dining room and pushed me towards a chair. “Come on in. I was just setting the table for dinner.”

  I took the seat that I always sat in while Mom fussed over setting the food out and making sure we had everything we needed. She finally sat down and approximately four seconds later, the inquisition started.

  “So, are you going to tell me why you got fired from your job?”

  “Okay, before I tell the story, you have to keep quiet and let me finish before I answer any questions.”

  She nodded and I told her most of what happened since I moved here. I left out the details she didn’t need to know and a few things that only Vira knew about. She knew nothing about the guy that was after me or being kidnapped. I had asked Sean not to say anything to her. Our town was plenty big and unless someone said something, chances were she would never find out. Besides, it was all over with now, so there was no point in scaring her.

  When I got to the part about now waitressing because it was the only job I could get, my mother pursed her lips and minutely shook her head. I could see the disappointment all over her face.

  “I don’t understand. This is not the woman we raised. What happened to you?” my mother asked.

  “Mom, people change and people make mistakes. I know what I did was wrong and as much as I’d like to go back and change things, that’s not going to happen. I did this to myself and now I have to live with it.”

  She looked at me, though it was more like she was looking through me. “I can’t believe this. I just…I can’t believe that you would throw your life away like this. All that money tha
t we spent sending you to college. Did you even consider that you were throwing all that away?”

  “Honestly, at the time I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking about payback. I know that doesn’t even matter now, but at the time, it was all I could see.”

  My mom stood from the table, her face turning red. “You are not my daughter. My daughter was a kind, loving girl that would have never hurt anyone else for any reason, let alone revenge. This person you’ve become is ugly and I want nothing to do with you.” She shook her head at me as tears fell from her eyes. “I don’t want to see you anymore. Get out of my house.”

  I was shocked. I had known she would be less than thrilled, but to tell me she didn’t want to see me was a hard pill to swallow. I looked at my mom and felt my heart split in two. She didn’t look at me like her daughter whom she loved. She looked at me like a stranger that disgusted her.

  “Mom, I know what I did was wrong and I’m sorry.” Tears clouded my eyes as I pleaded my case to her. “I can only try to make up for that now. I’m starting over, but I need to know that you will stand beside me and help me get through this.”

  “Ever since that boy broke up with you, you’ve been a different person. I’ve tried to understand, but this? This is too much. You tried to destroy a person’s life along with all the other people that would have been affected. Tell me, if someone had done that to someone in your family, would you have forgiven them?”

  I looked down. There would be no convincing her that I could ever make up for this. I was evil in her eyes, and to some extent, I believed that of myself too. Still, she was my mom and she was supposed to love me unconditionally.

  “You need to leave now,” my mother said cooly, taking dishes to the sink and cleaning up.

  I couldn’t look up at her. I had already seen the hate in her eyes. I knew she didn’t want me here. I could pray that in time she would forget her anger towards me, but for now, the best thing to do was leave. I gathered my purse and jacket and made my way out to my car. I don’t know how I managed to make it home with how hard I was crying, but I somehow made it and walked back up to my apartment. Vira was there and hugging me before I could even say anything.