What Might Kill Us

by M. N. Forgy

  He grips the side of my shorts and panties, pulling them down as one. My cheeks blush, nervous what a man like Bull would expect of a woman down below. Pubic hair? A runway strip? Or smooth?

  He runs his fingers over the short pubes that trail down to my wetness, his face seeming satisfied. That feeling like I can’t breathe, it becomes suffocating. I want to help Bull untie his shorts, but I’m glued to my spot.

  Why am I so scared?

  Maybe because I know nothing about Bull, but am so attracted to him that rejection is something I don’t think I can handle.

  Maybe it’s because I know he’s experienced and I’m not.

  I sit up on shaky hands and help him tug down his shorts, not wanting to be a bad lay. Wanting to enjoy this as much as I can, because if Alvaro comes after me and succeeds, I may never be with anyone again.

  This is my chance to just live in the moment.

  On his knees he looks down at me, his hand sliding down my hair as if he’s petting me. Admiration heavy in his eyes as my hand slips down over his firm butt cheeks. Looking up I can’t take my eyes from his. My brown eyes hooked to his like our souls are speaking silently to each other.

  When his dick escapes his pants I feel it bob against my hand. Sucking in a tight breath I risk a glance at it.

  My eyes widen, my mouth opening in disbelief. He’s much bigger than Alvaro. He’s thick, and at least eight inches. My legs squeeze together in terror. That won’t fit. There’s no way.

  He pets me again, bringing my eyes to his.

  Leaning down he grasps my shirt and pulls it up over my head, my breasts falling free. They’re not big, in fact I’m barely a handful in my own hands.

  He dips his head, sucking a dark nipple into his mouth, taking me by surprise.

  His hot, warm mouth suckles on the bud to the point those little tingles once before ignite in between my legs. My head falls back, my fingers locking into his hair.

  Jesus Christ I want more. I can’t take this torture anymore.

  We fall onto the mattress, his length pressing against my opening.

  As soon as he pulls his mouth from my tit my heart begins to pitter patter with unease. When I’ve been with Alvaro, it was quick and nothing like this. Alvaro hurt me, and he was both my boyfriend and family. I’ve closed myself off to everyone since then.

  Until now.

  “Bull?” my voice breathy.

  “Yeah?”

  “The last time I let someone close to me… it didn’t go well.”

  He pecks a kiss on my erect nipple that was in his mouth seconds before.

  “Anahi, Alvaro is a boy pretending to be a man, and I’m about to show you the difference between pretending and actually being,” he states matter of fact, his tone smug.

  I smirk. “You’re so arrogant.”

  He lifts his chin, his eyes finding mine. “Only one way to find out, darlin’,” he states wolfishly. “I’m going to fuck you to the point you’ll have to take your time sitting down afterwards, baby.”

  With that, the head of his length presses into me. My back arches off the bed, an audible gasp leaving my lips. Bull pushes in another couple inches, filling me to the point I swear I can’t take anymore. The sensation of burning and bliss battling with one another I can’t help but fidget beneath him. I don’t know whether to cry or moan.

  He slips in more, filling me to the brink and a cry rips up my throat. Bull presses his lips against mine, silencing my pain.

  Fucking me like he hates me, but kissing me like he cares.

  His hands cup my face as his mouth makes love to me. Well, I’ve never made love before, and I’m not sure what the difference is between fucking, having sex, or making love. But this… it all feels so personal, I can’t help the way my heart is ripping open and bleeding for this biker.

  I needed this; a man’s touch. A moment to forget what my future heeds for me.

  Two lost souls grabbing on to the closest escape.

  He pumps into me, my body slowly adjusting to his size. The pain slowly receding as pleasure begins to fuel my body, causing my toes to curl beneath my feet. A wave of bliss and satisfaction riding through my limbs like a rush of sexual desire.

  His hands skim up and down my frame, tucking under my thigh, and pulling me onto him more. His head falls back, his strong throat bobbing as he groans.

  The sound of heavy breaths, skin against skin, and light moans a melody I want to program to memory.

  Bull rotates his hips, hitting me just right, my eyes rolling in the back of my head.

  Warmth fills my abdomen, sparks firing in my toes and up my legs, detonating in between my thighs.

  “Si! Si!” I cry out in hysteria, a sweet, longing, mind lost to the wind. The word yes, not enough to describe the way I’m feeling.

  Bull groans loudly, sounding like a beast of a man as he pistons his hips. I can see him battling with himself to pull out, but doesn’t have the self-control to do it. It’s sexy seeing him so undone, and it feels so good I can’t bring myself to be the bigger person to pull away either. Warm cum dribbles inside of me before he finally pulls out. He sits up, stroking his cock in front of me while the remaining cum spits out of the head and right onto my pubic hair. Decorating it in sin and satisfaction.

  I lay there, trying to catch my breath sad it’s over and wanting more. My body feeling used and on cloud fucking nine.

  Bull climbs off the bed, the mattress shifting as he makes his way to the bathroom. His movements aren’t labored like he was hours before but precise and strong. Hopefully he’s through the worst of his withdrawal.

  He strides back into the room, a cloth in hand.

  I lift myself up on my elbows, curious what he’s doing when he starts wiping up the mess on me.

  I blush, slightly humiliated.

  “I can, um,” I laugh nervously, trying to grab at the cloth. He pulls it away, not entertaining the idea of me cleaning myself up.

  “Anahi?” Bull asks, his voice heavy.

  I lift a brow, unable to read his tone. “Yeah?”

  “You put my leather cut on you by choice?” he says as a question, his eyes not meeting mine.

  “Yeah,” I reply softly, not sure where this is going.

  His eyes cut to mine, looking a shade darker.

  “You wore my patch by choice, but you being mine from now on… isn’t a choice,” his words come out with a promise, causing me to swallow hard. He told me when I put it on I had no idea what I just did, he must have meant I was his from then on.

  Pulling the sheet with me I sit up, pondering if I want to be Bull’s or not.

  “Anahi, tell me why you’re here,” Bull asks softly.

  “Why do you want to know?” I ask the floor.

  “Because women like you don’t show up in places like this.” I glance his way, my lips parting with dread at having to tell him my shit back story.

  “My family is based out of Mexico. When my father died in America, my uncle took in Alvaro and me. We were imprisoned to a room for years, mainly me until Uncle Benito decided my skills were better suited in running drugs.”

  I look over my shoulder at him. “I was the mule that brought the drugs from Mexico to America.” I point to the scar running up my stomach.

  “I saw that, ” he lowers his chin, an unreadable look on his face.

  “A balloon burst inside of me, I almost died but that wasn’t enough. I was deemed to pay it back.” I lift my head, the memory of when it all happened playing like a bad movie.

  He rubs his chin, glancing back at the scar marring my stomach. “Is Benito the one in charge?”

  I bite my bottom lip, knowing telling him could get me killed but I passed that bridge long ago so I nod.

  He shakes his head exhaling a long breath. “The name doesn’t ring a bell,” he states but he almost looks disappointed.

  “Do you love him? Alvaro?” Bull switches subjects, his tone raspy.

  My hair falling in my eyes, I
glance at him.

  “I used to think I did. But I hate him more than anything,” I answer honestly, running my tongue along my bottom lip.

  Bull sits up and runs a thumb along my bottom lip, his bright eyes looking right at me.

  “He won’t hurt you again, Anahi.” His voice is so sure and strong. I envy his strength.

  I cherish this moment for what it is because this façade of a freedom is only temporary.

  You don’t escape the Cartel.

  Nobody does.

  My hands cup Anahi’s shoulders, her creamy soft skin beneath my palms making my dick jump at the connection. I feel better than earlier, but not completely. Kicking the booze isn’t a fucking picnic, and I’ll never underestimate someone’s addiction again.

  Without Anahi, I don’t think I would have pushed through it the way I did. But after my bare dick was deep inside of her, I’m afraid I’m swapping one addiction for another.

  I knew the risk of coming inside of her, the thought crossed my mind.

  But there’s no way I wasn’t feeling her warm wetness along my cock.

  If she gets pregnant it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen in my life.

  Call me crazy, but I’m not letting this one get away. I’ll bind her to me in any way I see fit. She will be mine. She’ll be my old lady and wear my club’s colors, because like I told her earlier, she has no choice anymore in being mine.

  She claimed herself, she gave herself to me and I am taking her fully before either of us have enough sense to pull our heads out of our asses and back in the fucking dark reality we live in.

  She looks up at me with soft eyes, her fingers touching the dip in her collarbone as if it’s a habit.

  “I have something for you,” I whisper.

  She looks at me with a quizzical stare as I step off the bed and head toward my jeans on the floor.

  Shoving my hand in the pocket the purple panties I took from her room fall to the floor.

  My eyes slide over to her. “Not that, I’m keeping those,” I wink, her cheeks blush and her cute lips purse.

  “I knew you kicked in my door,” she raises a brow. I don’t deny it. I’ve been caught.

  My fingers touch the cold metal, and I pull it free from my pocket. Turning toward her, her eyes widen and her breath catches in her throat. This necklace really does mean something to her.

  I climb behind her and place it around her neck as she holds her hair up. The lion charm falling right into place on her neck.

  “Why does this mean so much to you?” I ask.

  She stands, the sheet wrapped around her naked frame tightly reminding me of a Greek goddess.

  I can tell she doesn’t want to talk about it by the way her jaw just clenched and her shoulders become tense.

  “It was my mother’s,” she answers, avoiding eye contact. Placing my hands on my hips I nod, not wanting to push her.

  “I brought some soup and bread over from the diner, but it’s probably cold now,” she informs changing the subject. Tilting my head to the side I eye her. She’s filled with so many secrets, it both pisses me off and makes me want her more. A woman who doesn’t let it all hang out and tells me all of her secrets will always have my attention. Most women don’t realize that men don’t want your whole life story upfront. We like the challenge and mystery. I need more than what meets the eye.

  “I’ll give you some money to get something fresh,” I offer.

  She looks up at me with doe eyes, and I can’t help but run my hand through her hair in passing. The protective and controlling parts of me going to war in my head. I want to caress her bottom lip before taking her mouth with my own, yet I want to order her to suck my cock all at the same time.

  Pulling my jeans on, I pull a twenty out once they’re up and hand it to her. I don’t think my stomach can handle food right now, but she needs to eat something.

  She eyes the money awkwardly, causing me to lift a brow in reaction.

  Grabbing my shorts, I ask, “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t need your money,” she proclaims firmly. I smirk, admiring her pride but not her smart mouth. Maybe I should just go with sticking my cock into her mouth after all.

  “I’m hungry, and you’re hungry. It’s food, don’t look into it too much.”

  Opening the door, Kane is sitting in a chair half asleep. I kick his boot making him jump to attention. Him being asleep when ordered to keep guard does not sit well with me. For someone who wants to be patched in he sure is slacking.

  “Hey, she’s going to the diner for some food. Escort her,” I demand, more than ask.

  Kane rubs his hands along his face and groans. “Felix is looking for you,” he lets me know, sleepiness still in his voice.

  “What for?”

  “Wants to know if we got the drugs.”

  “Did you?”

  Kane shakes his head. “Not yet. Bobby wanted to wait until…” he pauses looking at me with a sudden unease. “Until you were better.”

  I don’t respond. Getting sober wasn’t easy and the temptation to drink is still heavy on my tongue. This road is just beginning, and is going to be a long one.

  But it’s better today than it was yesterday. I just gotta take it one day at a time is all. I can do this. I don’t need rehab or AA meetings.

  Looking over my shoulder I find Anahi getting dressed in the clothes she was wearing yesterday. Glancing back at Kane I catch him looking at her. Jealousy rages through me and I slam the door shut. His eyes snap to mine before he clears his throat, looking anywhere but at me.

  I head into her room to find her a change of clean clothes. Stepping inside the smell of bleach burns my nostrils. The dresser and closet empty of clothes and thrown into a pile on the bed, drenched in bleach.

  “Shit,” I mutter under my breath rubbing my chin. Seems like a bitch move, like a female would do this. Then again Alvaro is kind of a bitch.

  “I think we’ve worn our welcome out, we need to get while the gettin’ is good, brother,” Kane suggests, his tone more awake than before.

  A blood curdling scream sounds and my body feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice over it. Racing out of Anahi’s room I find her being dragged across the walkway by Alvaro. My eyes widen, my heart beating in my chest wildly. I reach for my gun, only to come up empty handed. Shit! I left it in the room.

  “Fuck!” I growl as I watch Alvaro pull her by her hair and any limb he can get a hold of as she fights to get away.

  I could go after my gun, but that would take longer than we have. I can’t let another woman I care about be taken from me. Not again. I may not love Anahi, but I could and I’m not about to let that decision be made for me.

  Running after her, I notice a black SUV waiting for them. Headlights on with little specks of dust floating around in the beams.

  Two guys stand in front of the vehicle strapped with shotguns, but that doesn’t stop me from getting closer. Call me crazy, but you need a little bit of insanity to get shit done sometimes.

  “Don’t you fucking move!” Alvaro seethes, whipping around and pointing a gun right in my face. I stop, but only because I have to. He has Anahi pulled close, an arm thrown over her shoulder and cupping her neck, the gun he was just pointing at me now at her temple.

  Her fingers claw at his hand, her eyes squint as she winces from his tight grip.

  Alvaro chuckles, nuzzling his nose against Anahi’s cheek like a man obsessed.

  “I see you’ve grown quite fond of my little sister,” I flinch at the news that their family. “But your time together is now over.” His dark eyes flick to mine, fogged with a crazed look.

  “Step-sister!” Anahi croaks.

  “Just let ‘er go,” I demand. Anahi struggles in his hold and my heart beats in panic that Alvaro will kill her just to keep her from being with someone else. Footsteps sound behind me and I know my boys have finally arrived to have my back. The feeling is sublime.

  “Do what he says!” Bobby de
mands, his arms outstretched and pointing a .45.

  “I’ll kill her before I let her go!” Alvaro’s voice wavers on hysteria, voicing what I feared. He shoves his nose in her hair, breathing her in and his forehead suddenly wrinkles with unease. “You fuckin’ smell like him,” he grits annoyed.

  Tears slip down Anahi’s face, she is truly terrified of this man and I can see why. He’s off his goddamn rocker.

  “I let work get in between us, I know that baby, but you’ve been mine since we were kids and you know that, Anahi,” he tells her, his nose brushing up and down her cheek. She cries, trying to pull from his grip. It’s killing me to watch a strong beautiful woman fall apart. “You’re coming with me, and we’re going to leave and start somewhere fresh,” he says apologetically. “Tell him, Anahi. Tell him you’re mine and you love me.”

  My brows furrow, curious what she’ll say. She obviously doesn’t love him, she’s scared of him.

  Her glossy eyes find mine, so much emotional torment behind those whiskey colored eyes. The same turmoil I witnessed for years in another woman’s eyes.

  She turns her head, a tear slipping down her cheek.

  Anahi’s face goes stoic, and that’s when I know she’s given up. She told me herself she’s tired. I didn’t know of what exactly then, but I do now. She is tired of fighting for a life she fears.

  She’s going to do something that puts herself at risk before she’ll ever go with him.

  She balls her fists up, bares her teeth and thrashes her head back. Smashing the back of her head into Alvaro’s nose.

  He cusses, letting go of her to grab his bleeding nose.

  Before I can reach for Bobby’s gun, Anahi hikes her foot up and drop kicks Alvaro right in the chest, his gun clattering to the hard ground as his body flings against the grill of the truck.

  The sound of rifles loading makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

  “ANAHI!” I roar, my body frozen in fear.

  Shots fire out from his boys and she falls to the ground, blood splattering the desert floor.