Ignite

by Kelly Elliott

  This was the part of the day where dignitaries of the sport, media people, or one or two lucky fans got to drive with the drivers. Most of the time it was former drivers, but sometimes current drivers like Emmit did it. Glancing to the group of people, Emmit said, “Before we get started, I’ve got to impress a girl.”

  Laughter erupted as Emmit helped me slip into the car and get buckled in. A few minutes later he was driving a hundred miles an hour as he inched his way closer and closer to the wall. My heart was racing and I was sure my face was going to freeze in this position as I grinned from ear to ear.

  “God, I’ve missed this!” I shouted into the mic as Emmit laughed.

  I knew he stayed out longer than he should have and I knew he did it for me. When he came to a stop, we sat in the car for a few moments as I got my breathing under control. Looking over at him, I said, “I didn’t think you could ever get better than you were before. But holy shit . . . that wall was less than an inch from my window, I swear!”

  Emmit laughed as he motioned for someone to come and help me out of the car.

  As I stood off to the side, I watched as Emmit gave each person a ride of a lifetime. Every one of them said it was the biggest adrenaline rush they’d ever experienced. Adrenaline rush was Emmit’s middle name. Everything he did was fast. Everything except making love. That he took his sweet time with.

  Biting down on my lip, I thought back to the last time Emmit made love to me. Closing my eyes, I was taken back to the moment.

  Slow. Passionate. Full of love.

  And I walked away from him. Stupid idiot.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were day dreaming about old times.”

  My eyes snapped open at the familiar voice. Ashley, Emmit’s younger sister, stood in front of me. “Ashley!” I shouted as we both embraced each other with a scream.

  “Oh my God! Did my big brother shit his pants when he saw you or what?” Ashley said as she looked me over.

  I let out a chuckle as I shook my head. “Something like that.”

  Ashley smiled. “Uh-huh. Well, that explains last night.”

  With a confused look, I asked. “What do you mean?”

  With a wave of her hand like it was not worth repeating, Ashley said, “Nothing. So, have you missed the scene?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t really realize how much I had been missing it.” My stomach dropped slightly knowing what all I had missed out on these last few years.

  Emmit had pulled up and the last person got out the same time Emmit climbed out.

  After taking some pictures and signing a few things, Emmit gave his sister a wave and excused himself. Walking up to Ashley, he pulled her into his arms and whispered something into her ear. Ashley nodded and then raised her eyebrows.

  “So, you and Adaline catching up?”

  There was my full name again. For some reason, every time Emmit said Adaline instead of Addie, it felt like a knife sinking deeper into my heart.

  “Yep! We just got here and walked up when I saw her.”

  Emmit nodded. “She’s graduated nursing school. A year early on top of that.”

  Ashley wiggled her eyebrows. “She always was a smarty pants.”

  I let out a chuckle as I looked at Emmit. I wanted to tell him I had pushed myself hard and took extra classes so that I could finish and be with him. Of course, I’d use the excuse of seeing Momma and Daddy, but the real reason would always be Emmit.

  “Well, I wanted to try and finish up as fast as I could,” I said before I even knew it was out of my mouth.

  Emmit’s eyes pierced mine, and I swore it looked like he was holding his breath.

  “Really? How come?” Ashley asked with a huge shit-eating grin on her face.

  I glanced down to my feet and kicked an imaginary rock. “I guess I wanted to be able to catch a few races . . . see . . . um . . . my parents more often.”

  Ashley gave me a you-ain’t-fooling-anyone look as she said, “Is that so?”

  My eyes met Emmit’s as we both seemed to get lost in each other.

  Dropping my mouth open, I fought for the words to tell Emmit how foolish I was, but nothing came out.

  “Addie,” Emmit said as he took a step closer to me but stopped when some girl called out his name.

  “Emmit!”

  Emmit looked over my shoulder and frowned. Ashley attempted to intercept the two girls, but failed. The one threw herself into Emmit’s arms as she said, “I couldn’t wait to see you again.”

  My stomach twisted into a knot as I imagined what she was talking about. Her arms were wrapped tightly around Emmit’s neck as he reached up and pried them off of him. Giving her a slight push away, Emmit gave her a polite smile. “Yeah. The club was fun.”

  Club? When did he go to a club? And where is the blonde who was related to Jack?

  “Oh, it was more than fun,” the young bleach-blonde said as Ashley grabbed her arm.

  “Cookie, let’s go check out some other places.”

  Cookie lifted her finger in a motion to get Ashley to wait as she took a step closer to Emmit. “So, are we going to finish what we started last night? Maybe in your bus?”

  Oh God. He slept with her.

  My head was spinning. But what about the blonde? What about the way he just looked at me?

  With a shake of my head, I tried to clear my thoughts. I looked into Emmit’s eyes and it was clear to me, he had been with this girl last night.

  Trying to find my voice, I finally said, “Excuse me, I’m ah . . . gonna go . . . somewhere.”

  Quickly turning, I heard Emmit call out my name. Picking up my pace, I tried like hell to get as far away as I could. The idea that Emmit was out fucking some girl while I laid in my bed last night dreaming of his hands on me made me feel sick to my stomach.

  Emmit clearly had moved on and no matter how much I tried to get him to talk to me, he’d never forgive me for leaving him.

  Bumping into someone, I wiped my tears away and mumbled, “Excuse me.”

  “Adaline, sweetheart, are you okay?”

  I looked at Jack and attempted to smile. “Jack, hi how are you?”

  My eyes immediately looked at the woman who had been on Emmit’s arm the last few days.

  “It’s race day. It’s always a good day!”

  I let out a nervous chuckle and nodded my head. “Adaline, I don’t think you and I had the chance to talk much last night. I know my uncle was introducing me to everyone on the team. I’m going to start working for him.”

  Trying to be polite and cheerful, I couldn’t help but think how convenient that would be for Emmit. A girl who would be traveling with him to each race.

  “How exciting,” I said as looked between Jack and his niece. “Lynn, isn’t it?” I asked, as I tilted my head and tried to seem like I gave two shits about this woman.

  “Yes. My Uncle Jack was telling me you and Emmit used to be high school sweethearts.”

  I swallowed hard and barely said, “Something like that.”

  “Emmit was nice enough to show Lynn the racing side of the business. She’ll be working in the main office back in North Carolina, marketing is her thing.”

  Wait. What?

  “Oh. Really?” I asked as my voice sounded a tad bit too chipper.

  Lynn looked at Jack and nodded. “My fiancé just left for a long tour of duty and my Uncle Jack thought coming to the race would keep my mind off things.”

  “Your . . . your fiancé?”

  Lynn smiled a bright smile as she nodded. “My high school sweetheart.”

  My hand went over my stomach as I let out a chuckle. Emmit wasn’t dating her. He was babysitting her!

  “The drivers’ meeting is about to start, Lynn, why don’t you head on over with Emmit and take it all in. I want to talk to Adaline for a bit.”

  Pointing to myself, I asked, “Me?”

  Jack took me by the arm and led me toward the bus pad. “Yes. I have a business proposition for you.
”

  “SHIT. WHERE IN THE HELL did this rain come from?” Robert asked as he sat in my bus. Robert had been on my pit crew since day one and had become more than a friend to me. He was like my brother.

  I pushed the air out of my lungs as I glanced over to the TV and shrugged. “Who knows, it’s Texas. The weather here can change in a heartbeat.” Lola barked and jumped up as she looked at the door.

  The doorbell rang as I got up and made my way to the bus door. It was probably Waldo giving us an update. He knew I didn’t watch anything to do with the race on TV. From day one I thought it would be bad luck, so I didn’t listen to what they were saying as they talked pre-race shit.

  Opening the door, I smiled. Adaline was standing there with an umbrella over her head as the rain came down steadily. “Hey. I had to ask which one was your bus. You’ve gotten a different one.”

  My smile faded some as I nodded. “Yeah, well a lot of things are different now.”

  Adaline’s face fell as she asked, “May I come in?”

  “Um, yeah but Robert’s here and—”

  Robert pushed past me and waved to Adaline. “Hey, Adaline! Great seeing you again. I’m headed back to the hauler, Emmit. See ya later.”

  Slowly shaking my head, I shot daggers at my so-called best friend.

  Lola barked and Adaline let out a gasp. “Oh, my gosh. There’s a dog!”

  “Always were observant, Adaline.”

  Adaline shot me a dirty look as she slowly nodded. “Well anyway, I’m sorry Robert ran off. I’ll let him know he can come back.”

  Adaline turned and walked off as I squeezed my eyes shut and cursed under my breath. “Fuck!” I hissed through my teeth. Stepping out into the rain, I called for her. “Adaline, wait. I’m sorry, if you want to come in, you’re more than welcome to.”

  Turning around slowly, Adaline raised an eyebrow. “Anyone else in there?”

  I didn’t even care I was getting wet. “Like who?” I asked with a confused look.

  With a shrug, Adaline walked back over to me and started up the steps as I stepped back in and told Lola to sit. Adaline stepped into my bus and looked around as her eyes widened in surprise as she glanced back toward the bedroom. “Oh, I don’t know, Cookie maybe?”

  Holy living hell. Adaline was jealous.

  Choosing to ignore her reference to Cookie, I said, “Ashley and her two friends are hanging out in the hauler.”

  “Oh,” Adaline said, barely above a whisper.

  I took her umbrella and shook it out as I placed it by the door. Lola quickly made her way over to Adaline. Instead of doing what she normally did, rollover and demand a belly rub, she jumped up on Adaline.

  “Oh, my!” Adaline said as she took a hold of Lola.

  “Lola! No, that’s a bad girl. Time out!” Lola jumped back down and ran back into the bedroom and jumped on the bed where she promptly began to pout.

  “Wow. That’s impressive. She must be really smart,” Adaline said as she sat down on the tan leather sofa.

  I sat across from her and smiled as I looked at Lola. Damn I loved that dog. “She is, but we also spend a lot of time together. I worked hard on training her when I first got her.”

  Adaline looked directly at me as our eyes met. “Oh.” Adjusting in her seat, she asked. “Um, how old is she?”

  “One tomorrow.”

  Adaline smiled. “Did you get her a birthday present?”

  My heart slammed against my chest as Adaline talked about Lola. Nodding, I said, “Yes.”

  Looking away, she said, “Good.” Adaline glanced around my bus as her knee bounced nervously. “So, wow. You got a new bus.”

  Looking around, I nodded. “Yep. About a year after you um . . . well, after you started school. I started making pretty good money, so I upgraded.”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “Want to see all of it? I mean there’s really only the living room here, the kitchen, the bedroom, bathroom and the closets.”

  With a grin, Adaline said, “Sure, I’d love to see it.”

  My stomach felt like I was on a roller coaster. All I really wanted to do was tell her how much I’d missed her. I reached for her hand as I stood. When she placed it gently in mine, we both looked into each other’s eyes. I was almost positive she felt it too.

  The love was still there.

  As I guided her back toward the bedroom, I focused on my breathing. Stepping into the room, Lola jumped up and wagged her tail as Adaline started giggling. “I guess she thinks time out is over.”

  I nodded my head and laughed. “She’s a good girl.”

  Adaline sat down on the bed and began petting Lola. “How does she do on the long drives?”

  With a shrug, I said, “Good. She doesn’t really know any different. She loves when we head back to North Carolina, though. I bought a new place with lots of room for her to run.”

  Adaline glanced up at me. “That’s wonderful. I bet she loves it.”

  Leaning against the closet door, I smiled and said, “Yeah. She does. She is the only constant in my life. I guess you could say she keeps me grounded.”

  Adaline’s eyes turned sad as she looked back at Lola. “Have you, um, dated very much?”

  I could either skirt around it, or just be honest. I decided to go with the later.

  “No. I’ve fucked around a lot, though.” Adaline’s head snapped up as she looked at me as her mouth fell open. I could tell she was surprised by my honesty. “I’m not going to lie and sugar coat the last three years of my life, Adaline. My heart broke in two when things between us ended. The only thing I knew to do to try and forget you was drink and fuck woman.”

  Adaline stood up quickly and headed back out toward the living room. “Like last night, Emmit. Did you fuck, Cookie?”

  I let out a fake laugh as I shook my head. She was actually pissed off. Well fuck this shit. Who in the hell was she to get pissed at me? She turned me down.

  “I almost did. Something about the woman you loved more than life itself showing up and acting like she has survived just fine since she ripped your heart out, well hell, it kind of fucked me up all over again.”

  Adaline’s eyes turned dark as she placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her left eye at me. “Survived just fine? Really, that’s what you think, Emmit? That I survived just fine?”

  With a smirk, I said, “Well you sure didn’t try and make things work, Adaline. You walked away like what we had meant nothing to you.” Not sure if it was anger or hurt that moved across her face, but whatever it was, it caused tears to build in her eyes. Turning her back toward me, she spun back around and walked up to me as she poked me in the chest.

  “I was confused, Emmit. I wanted the life I had dreamed of too. I couldn’t have that life while you followed your dreams. I didn’t want to make you think you had to give up your dream for me to follow mine! If we had stayed together, I knew you would start feeling guilty and you would have come after me, Emmit.”

  I took in a calming breath as I looked into her eyes before I started talking. “We could have made it work, you weren’t willing to try, Adaline.”

  A single tear fell from Adaline’s eye as her shoulders sagged and she let out a defeated breath. “You’re so wrong, Emmit. I walked away from us because I loved you that much. Do you remember when I went to camp the summer of our senior year? I was gone for two months. You couldn’t stand the time apart, and you gave up two months of racing and came to camp. Do you remember that?”

  “That was a few fucking dirt track races, Adaline. This is NASCAR. My dream. I would have figured out a way to see you and keep doing what I loved doing. Don’t blame this on me; you’re the one who doesn’t want this life.”

  “I didn’t say that, Emmit!” Adaline screamed out. “I said I wanted time to follow my dreams. Traveling ten months out of the year, I would have never been able to go to college and get my degree. I did what I thought was right. It seems to me though you weren’t that heartbroken
if you started bringing whores to your bed every night.”

  With a toss of my head back, I laughed. “Oh please. Like you didn’t ever date or fuck other guys, Adaline. I’m not stupid.”

  Placing her hand over her stomach, Adaline took a step back as she pressed her lips tightly together. Grabbing her stuff, she headed for the door. She turned and looked at me. “I dated a few guys, but none of them were you. I haven’t been with anyone since the last night we spent together. I couldn’t because I was still in love with you. I guess I’m the fool in this situation.” Closing her eyes, she let out a quick laugh. When she opened her eyes, she glared at me. “That is one situation I intend on fixing right away.”

  All the air left my lungs as I grabbed onto the counter top to keep from falling over. I slammed my hand over my face and dragged it down. What in the hell? Adaline hadn’t been with another guy. Holy fuck did I mess up. I quickly made my way after her.

  I stepped out between the buses and glanced both ways. My heart stopped the moment I saw Adaline talking to Malcolm. He looked over her shoulder directly at me as he smirked.

  Malcolm looked back at Adaline and nodded as he put his arm around her and led her back to his bus.

  I was frozen in place. Opening the door to his bus, Adaline walked into it while Malcolm turned and gave me a smile that would forever be etched in my memory.

  The door to his bus shut as I stood there like an idiot and watched the door for Adaline to come back out. I felt numb as I walked back to my bus before I stopped walking.

  “Fuck that.”

  I started running over to Malcolm’s bus. Pulling the door open, I stumbled inside the bus only to find Adaline talking on the phone. Her eyes widened as she looked at me with her mouth gaped open. Looking to my right, Malcolm sat on the sofa with his arm around some girl.

  “What are you doing here?” Adaline asked as I looked between her and Malcolm.

  “I um . . . I saw you walk in here with Malcolm and I thought—”

  Adaline lifted a finger for me to stop talking. “Yes. I have the locator turned on. Nothing. Okay, I’ll have to just buy another one I guess. Thank you so much.”