Without Saying a Word

by Amanda Ward

  “Careful, don’t distract me; you may end up with less balls,” she joked. He turned her ʼround. Reflected in his eyes, Laura saw shame and embarrassment. She needed to comfort him, to reassure him.

  “Are you disappointed in me?” Rhean asked her.

  “No, don’t be silly,” she replied, caressing his strong jaw. He turned and pressed a kiss into her palm.

  “It was wonderful, and I’m glad you found me attractive enough to relax and let yourself go around me,” she said gently. Using a chopstick, she picked up a sliver of chicken and placed it on his tongue.

  With Ronan crooning away in the background, Laura tucked into her meal with relish. She loved Chinese food, especially chow-mien, with the crunchy bean sprouts, and slurpy noodles. Expertly using her chopsticks, Laura finished her plate in no time. Still feeling hungry, she helped herself to another portion. Catching sight of the fortune cookies in a tray, she tossed one to Rhean.

  “Incoming,” Laura called with a grin.

  “Thanks Laura,” Rhean replied, missing the cookie by a mile. Laura laughed as the foil-wrapped biscuit bounced off his head, landing on the sofa next to him.

  “Oops. Sorry about that. Guess my aim was off,” she said sheepishly

  Laura sat down next to Rhean as he picked up the packet and glared at her. His eyes sparkled.

  “Oh I think your aim was better than you thought.” He grinned, breaking the biscuit open.

  Laura opened hers. As she read the words, she erupted into a fit of giggles. The chow-mien she had been eating suddenly caught in the back of her throat. She tried to swallow several times, taking deep breaths through her nose. Her eyes swimming with tears, Laura read out the cookie.

  “Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. Oh Rhean that’s priceless”

  “Not as priceless as this one.” Rhean handed her his fortune.

  “No way!” Laura said incredulously

  Rhean nodded, and turned to check in all corners of the room.

  “What on earth are you doing Rhean?”

  “Seeing if you have video cameras installed here,” he joked

  Laura snorted,”That has to be some kind of fluke.”

  “Bit close to the mark, if you ask me” Rhean told her teasingly. “You will come sooner than you think,” Laura read the fortune out. She couldn’t stop giggling.

  Laura was still giggling at their fortunes while Rhean cleaned up.

  “You stay there Laura. I’ll wash up tonight,” he offered.

  “I think that makes us even then, Rhean. I gave you pleasure earlier, and now you have returned the favor,” she said impishly, hearing a rumble of laughter from Rhean.

  “Darling, if I had known you were that easy to please, I would have done this before.” Rhean’s heated smile spoke volumes to Laura. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the back of the sofa, sipping her wine. Contentment flowed over Laura like a warm fleecy blanket.

  “Laura, what happened between you and Max?”

  Laura’s eyes snapped open. She sat bolt upright on the sofa. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “What did you just say?” Laura wondered for a moment if she had been asleep and experiencing a nightmare. She glared at Rhean, standing in the doorway, wiping his hands on a tea-towel.

  “I asked what happened between you and Max,” Rhean repeated softly.

  Laura shook her head incredulously, tapping her ear with her finger.

  “No, I wasn’t dreaming. What the Dickens brought this on?” she asked, her voice shrill.

  “Laura, I have been nothing but honest with you since we met. I thought if you told me what went wrong with you and Max, it might help.”

  Laura pursed her lips. She should have known this question would crop up, even after all the counseling she had been through. She could not think about that day without shuddering, and feeling ashamed. Laura knew she had the courage within her. Well, if he wanted to know, so be it. The delicious meal she had enjoyed earlier left a vile aftertaste in her mouth, and her stomach throbbed in response to her tumultuous emotions.

  Laura stood up. She found it easier to pace and talk, desperately avoiding the stricken expression on Rhean’s face. She saw he was sitting in her favorite armchair, leaning forward.

  “From the look on your face and the way you asked the question, I get a nasty feeling that you know already,” she said.

  Rhean nodded. “I know some, not all,” he admitted softly.

  Laura bobbed her head, and let out a whoosh of breath, desperately needing to compose herself.

  “You would have thought that after a year of counseling this would get easier to talk about.”

  “Some things are never easy,” Rhean replied, his voice as soft as a whisper.

  Despite the fire raging away in the hearth, Laura felt chilled to the bone. She rubbed her arms and shoulders, and knew she could no longer put it off.

  “Max and I were married for just over twelve years. We’d met at a friends’ party, started dating and six months later he asked me to marry to him. Max worked for the local council, as one of the finance team. So his job was secure, and we had a lovely home. I didn’t want for anything. When Maisie, Theo and James arrived, Max was a great father, attentive, even spoiling them at times. Because of his job, he spent time away from home on courses and business trips, and I never thought anything of it. If I had to get in touch with him, I’d leave a message with his secretary.”

  “Anyway, one day, I came home from the shops. It was so stupid. Maisie had asked for a certain meal that night, and I’d forgotten to get the ingredients, so I had to make a special trip out. I came home and found Max’s wallet on the table. He was supposed to be at work. When I picked up the wallet, a slip of paper fell out. I picked it up... and went upstairs and er...well, I found Max screwing another woman on our bed.″

  Laura let out another deep breath. Now for the hard part.

  ″Max went all apeshit at being caught. The next thing I knew, he’s called me every single name under the sun, and hit me. But he didn’t stop. He kept on, hitting, slapping, and kicking me. It was as if he wanted me dead. You know the stupid thing about all this? I didn’t fight back. I should have found it within me to bite him. I should have kicked him in the balls. I should have run from him. But I didn’t. I fell over one of her shoes, hit the ground and before I could catch my breath, he kicked me in the chest.” Laura’s voice broke. “This was Max, for crying out loud. He had never raised a hand to me, and never even yelled at me. We had discussions, but hardly argued. Max was easy-going and I thought he loved me. I tried so hard to be the best wife I could be. But it wasn’t enough for him.”

  She shook her head, and paced to and fro in front of Rhean. She hoped he wasn’t too disgusted with her at being such a wimp.

  ″So what happened next?″ Rhean asked her.

  ″Everything seemed like a blur after that. I couldn’t see since my face around my eyes swelled closed. All I can remember is hearing the profanities he yelled at me, and at one point, he even spit on me. I felt the revulsion as the warmth trickled down my cheek. The next thing I know for sure is that I heard Theo’s voice. I felt Max kick me again in the side, and that was it until I woke up in hospital three days later. I don’t cry anymore, and I still feel bloody ashamed that I didn’t fight back. I hoped that he would stop. I kept repeating to myself that Max had never raised a finger to me in his life, or smacked the children for that matter. I was in the hospital re-reading the slip of paper when it all clicked into place. Then I had a visitor.”

  “Who?” Rhean’s face was etched in pain, mirroring Laura’s.

  “The woman shagging my husband came to see me. There I was, laid up in bed with a drip in my arm, doped up on painkillers, my face swollen, three ribs broken, and a fractured arm. Max did a thorough job on me,” Laura said bitterly. “My sister, of all people. It was her in my bed, her all this time. She had been having an affair with him since our wedding day and I ne
ver knew. Nicki and I had never really gotten on, but I never knew just how much she hated me until then. She told me that I had never looked better and that perhaps now I would get the hint, ‘eff off’ and leave them alone to raise the children properly.”

  “She wanted you to leave the kids with them?”

  “Yep. Nicki didn’t want much did she? The vindictive cow. I kept pressing the alarm button, and within minutes a nurse arrived, and saw the state I was in. My dad came in, and pushed Nicki out of the room. I think the nurse gave me some more morphine as I don’t remember anything else, until I woke up a week later. Max had been charged with assault and battery. I was released from the hospital a week later and moved in with my parents while I healed. I had counseling, got a divorce, and here I am. Do you have any idea how much I have been through? I lost my home, my husband and my dignity. I was so lucky my children weren’t taken away from me. If my parents hadn’t been there supporting me and taking care of them, I don’t know what would have happened. Hearing Theo’s voice gave me enough strength not to give in.”

  Laura sank on the sofa, drained of all energy. She closed her eyes, fighting back tears and those awful, awful memories. Relief touched at her heavy heart. Now Rhean knew everything and there was no going back. Recalling that dreadful time to Rhean had been cleansing. Deep within Laura a new emotion began to emerge—trust.

  Chapter Twelve

  Laura woke up the next morning, refreshed after the best night she’d had for a long time. She rolled over in bed and came face to nose with Tubs who stared at her with his usual ″feed me, I’m starving″ expression. She looked over at her nightstand and saw a mug and a note. The pillow next to her had an indent in it. She wrinkled her nose and thought for a minute. Then realizing that Rhean must have spent the night with her, Laura smiled. She picked up the mug, drank the lukewarm tea, and read the note.

  I had some errands to run early this morning, so left you sleeping. You are beautiful when you are asleep and your snoring didn’t keep me awake. I’ll be back before the kids come home. Hope the tea makes up for it. Love, Rhean xoxoxo

  “Snoring, pah, how the heck does he know?” Laura grumbled to herself. She wrinkled her nose with distaste after she’d sipped the tea. “Yuck!” She put the mug back down, and snuggled into the indent that Rhean made, giggling girlishly as she inhaled his lingering scent.

  Eventually however, life had to go on and she knew Tubs was eager to be fed. The kids would be home for lunch and the house needed a good going-over. She got out of bed, washed, dressed and after breakfast, rolled up her sleeves and made a start.

  ****

  Rhean was at the grange putting his plan into action. He sat, having breakfast with his parents in the morning room. He explained to them about the conversation he’d had with Maisie—the frightened way she’d sounded—and that his fears for Laura warranted action. The earl and countess listened intently. His father’s face hardened and he leaned forward with his hands clasped together.

  “Are you sure about all this?” his dad asked.

  Rhean nodded.”Maisie is not a liar, and she certainly wouldn’t have told me if it wasn’t true,” he explained. The countess held her husband’s arm.

  “Right then,” the earl said. “I’ll make some phone calls, and do some investigating. I agree with you Rhean. If there is going to be trouble, Laura will be protected more with our name behind her.” He looked at his wife. “Maire, it looks as though we have a project together.

  The earl stood up, clapped his son on the back and left the room as Maire poured more tea into her delicate china cup and saucer.

  “At the ball, you say,” she said in a thoughtful voice.

  Rhean nodded.

  “Well, I suppose I ought to make a start with the attics.” After she’d hugged him, she left the room, which left Rhean alone with his thoughts.

  ****

  The day of the Fayre became a quintessential Dickensian day thanks to the fresh snow that had been steadily falling all morning. This added to the Christmassy atmosphere. Laura and her children, together with residents of the village and visitors flocked to the village despite the weather to see what was on offer. The ‘Olde World’ stalls were doing a roaring trade, as the High Street was filled with the aroma of roasting chestnuts, hot dogs and burgers enticing customers. Laura tramped around the Fayre sampling freshly baked mince pies, and a mug of steaming hot chocolate. After Earl and Countess Leighton opened the Fayre Laura left her children with Rhean and his parents while she scooted off to the village hall. That afternoon dressed in a tight corset, and long lilac Victorian day gown, complete with crinoline, Laura wiped her damp face with a towel. She had been working with the ladies from the local church in the tea room that had been set up in the church hall. Making tea and serving homemade cakes and scones had been hot work as despite the snow there had been a steady stream of customers in need of something hot to drink and eat. After Laura finally finished helping clear away and wash up, she felt tired and grubby. Looking at the time, Laura picked up her skirts and said goodbye to the other women volunteers leaving for the grange and the evening’s festivities.

  Laura stared at the clothes laid out on the bed. After she’d lingered longer than she ought to in the large Jacuzzi, she heard a knock at the door and a young woman walked in, dressed in a pale gray uniform with a white apron. She held a large leather case.

  “Miss Laura?” the young woman inquired. Laura nodded. Slightly nervous and tired after the day she’d had, Laura worried that she wouldn’t fit in with the rest of the hierarchy that would attend. Having someone help her dress, was yet another reminder of a world in which she felt like an outsider.

  ″I’m Alice. Her ladyship asked me to come and help you dress,″ the young woman explained, putting the case on a vanity table.

  Though it felt incredibly awkward at being helped to dress, Laura nodded complacently.

  ″Okay Alice. Where do we begin?″ she asked as she looked around the room.

  Alice pointed toward the screen in a corner of the room. “If you would go behind the screen and put your underthings on, I can pass you the dress and then button it for you,” she explained in a kindly tone. “And don’t worry, Miss Laura, I understand this is new to you. It’s just that the dress is rather difficult to do up.” She picked up an ivory corset from the bed, Alice handed it to Laura. Laura’s eyes widened at the exquisite embroidery on the bodice.

  ″Wow,″ she breathed. ″This is gorgeous.″

  Alice smiled. “Wait till you see the dress,” she replied. “You have to wear this corset or the dress will hang wrong,” Alice explained. “If you can put it around you, I will lace it up. I’ll try not to lace it too tight.″

  Laura felt reassured and put herself completely in Alice’s hands.

  Behind the screen, Laura took off the silk robe and put on the panties—if you could call them panties. Made of ivory silk, they were sheer and the wisp of fabric felt incredibly soft and sensual against her skin. Laura felt exposed and vulnerable when she came out from behind the screen wearing only the panties and corset held around her.

  Alice smiled at her. “Come on Miss Laura, we don’t have much time,” she said in a business-like manner. Alice started to lace up the corset.

  “Can you take a deep breath please?” she asked.

  Laura sucked in her stomach, and felt a tad light-headed as the corset tightened around her, lifting her breasts up and out. The corset fell to just below her stomach, and as it was laced up, her stomach flattened and her waist became more pronounced. Laura’s breathing became labored.

  ″Are you sure this is supposed to be so tight? she asked, taking shallow breaths.

  The maid nodded and held out a layered floor-length silk shift.

  “Yes Miss Laura. Could you please bend down?” Laura did as she was bid and the silk slithered over her body in a smooth motion. She had never felt such luxurious material on her skin before, and she was aroused just by being pampered in
this way. Finally, the maid took the dress off the bed. An ivory creation in the Regency style, it had an Empire line, with intricate lacework around the low neckline, sleeves and bottom of the dress. The silk of the dress flowed down at the back into a short train. Thigh-high stockings and ivory ballet pumps in satin completed the look.

  After she’d dressed, putting on the stockings and shoes, Laura looked in the mirror.

  The maid shook her head. “Sorry Miss Laura,” she told her, “not until you have completely finished.” The maid pulled out the chair in front of the vanity table and turned the mirror around. After she’d put on Laura’s makeup, and styled her hair, Alice opened the battered leather case.

  “The countess asked if you would wear these tonight,” Alice told Laura. The parure of peridots and diamonds sparkled in the light of the room. She placed the thin bracelet studded with jewels around Laura’s wrist. The earrings, a large sapphire from which a long chain set with diamonds and an even larger oval peridot hung, were fixed to Laura’s ears. She placed a broad lacework necklace of the same stones around her neck. Finally, Alice placed some kind of adornment on Laura’s hair, handing her the ivory gloves and fan. And finally, she placed a fur-trimmed cape, light as air on Laura’s shoulders, which made her neck tickle.

  “Now look,” Alice told her, so Laura went over to the full-length mirror in the corner of the room. A stranger appeared in the ornate glass. Dressed from head to toe in ivory silk, Laura thought she looked ethereal. Her hair, ears and throat glinted with the sparkle of diamonds, sapphires and peridots. In her upswept hair, was a platinum tiara with a large sapphire in the middle, surrounded on either side by peridots and diamonds. Her cheeks were a rose color, her full lips glinted with a rose lip gloss and the top of her breasts were clearly visible. The beauty of the necklace highlighted them.

  The dress itself was a dream. Falling from the high waistline, it draped over her body, hinting at the curves beneath. With every move she took, Laura felt the silk brush against her body as the jewels glimmered and sparkled.