Protecting What's Mine

by Jennifer Sucevic

  He seems pleased by my answer. “Good.”

  We’re both quiet. Almost contemplative as we watch the dancing, twisting flames.

  “I hope you know that your parents would be proud of you, Gracie. They would have loved how you’re making your dreams come true.”

  Ripping my eyes from the orange blaze, the edges of my lips lift a fraction. “I really hope so.” His words mean everything to me. Not a day passes when I don’t think about Mom and Dad. When I don’t miss them. Their absence has left a huge, gaping void in my life. One that can never be filled. I know Dominic is trying to be there for me, to offer guidance when needed, but it isn’t the same.

  “There’s no question about it,” he says firmly. His words offer the reassurance I so desperately need right now. “They would love that you’ve come back to Chicago and that you’re pursuing a career in something you’re so passionate about.” His next words cause a thick lump of emotion to form in the middle of my throat. “And they would be relieved to see that you’re moving on, that you’re finally putting the accident behind you and living your life again. They would be proud of you for not allowing your grief to consume you the way it did in the beginning.” He pauses before adding softly, “It was difficult to watch, Gracie. There were times when I didn’t know how to make anything better for you.”

  I blink back the tears his words bring to my eyes.

  The months following the accident were the hardest. The scariest. It felt impossible to climb out of the deep, dark hole I had fallen into. Sometimes I’m amazed that I was able to claw my way out of it. Where I am today, two years later, is because of the man sitting beside me. Without him, who knows how I’d be doing. Who knows if I would be here, working toward turning my dreams into reality.

  I owe Dominic a debt of gratitude that can never fully be repaid.

  “I have you to thank for where I am,” I admit. “You were always there for me, no matter what. Your support has been unwavering. Without you, I don’t know where I would be.” Tears burn the back of my eyelids.

  In the blink of an eye, the layers of armor I wear for the world, get stripped away. All that’s left in its place is bone crushing honesty.

  His eyes pin mine in place. “Your father was my best friend. I loved him like a brother. Your mother like a sister. She was the sweetest, kindest woman. She was a good wife and a fantastic mother.” He pauses, and I feel the emotion rolling off him in thick, heavy waves. As difficult as it is to bring them up, it’s also like a balm for my soul. I cannot not talk about them. “And you… you mean everything to me. Don’t ever question that. There will never be a time when I’m not here for you. It’s just you and me, kiddo. Against the world.”

  Those words make a small sob rise within me. Closing the space between us, I throw my arms around him, squeezing as if I’ll never let go. There are times when I want to tether myself to Dominic so that I don’t float away on the breeze. Because that’s the way it feels sometimes. As if I’m aimlessly floating. Without my parents, there is nothing, no one, to ground me. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world.

  Dominic’s words cocoon me in comfort. As long as I have him, I’m not alone. I have someone who loves me. Someone who cares about what happens to me.

  “You’re stuck with me.” I sniff.

  His lips curve. “We’re stuck with each other.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  “You about ready to go?”

  I look at Sue the T-Rex one last time and shoot Dominic a smile. We’ve spent the last four hours meandering around The Field Museum. Taking our time, we read the informational placards regarding the displayed artifacts on each of the three exhibit floors. I could easily spend another few hours wandering through these hallowed halls. I love this place, especially the main hall with its gorgeous columns and arched gallery entrances that rise above our heads. We stopped in the gift shop on the second floor, and Dominic bought me a Sue magnet for my refrigerator.

  Exiting through the heavy front doors, we walk down the wide stone steps and stroll along the sidewalk by the lakefront which leads to Adler Planetarium.

  We’re about midway there, when Dominic says, “Would you mind if we sit for a few minutes?”

  The day is gorgeous with the slightest nip in the air. Slowly the weather is turning cooler. I have a thick sweater wrapped around me. The sun is so bright and shiny that it cuts through most of the chill. The heat feels lovely on my face. I never turn down an opportunity to admire the churning blue water.

  We sit on a bench as a couple of small children chase each other on the grassy embankment separating the lake from the sidewalk. I immediately get sucked into their antics. The girl looks to be about five and her brother, I assume, is around seven. I glance at their parents, who keep a close eye on them since there’s a steep drop to the water.

  After a few minutes, the family moves toward Shedd Aquarium which is a couple hundred yards away. Shedd, just like The Field Museum and Art Institute, is a stately old building with echoing corridors in the older sections. There are stunning marble floors and soaring ceilings with windows that allow sunlight to pour in since it was constructed before electricity was widespread. There are gorgeous columns and intricate aquatic carvings on the walls.

  “Cute family.”

  My eyes slice back to Dominic, and I chortle at the offhanded comment.

  “What?” I can’t contain my laughter. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. “You’re commenting that a family is,” I pause to add more emphasis, “cute?” My palm lands on his forehead. “Do you feel okay? You must be coming down with something.”

  His lips bow upward in response to my teasing. “Hardly.”

  “Other than me, I’ve never seen you around children. In fact,” I add, gently elbowing him in the ribs, “if I recall correctly, you wouldn’t even go out with a woman if she had kids.” At this point, I’m daring him to disagree with me.

  He doesn’t.

  Instead, he rolls his eyes at the reminder. “Well, I’m in my mid-forties now. Perhaps the unthinkable has finally happened, and I’ve matured.”

  That statement makes me laugh harder. “Please,” I practically shriek, “you’re a confirmed bachelor through and through. I’m beginning to suspect that you always will be.”

  He acknowledges my words with a dip of his chin. There’s no way he can deny twenty plus years of acting like a playboy. To my surprise, he grows pensive and his voice takes on a serious tone. “You’re right. That’s exactly how I’ve lived my life. But it gets old.” Pausing, he adds, “Everything feels different now.”

  My laughter and good-natured ribbing die on my lips. I’d thought he was joking around, but obviously, he’s not. A thoughtful light fills his eyes as he silently stares out across the water at Navy Pier, with its huge Ferris wheel, in the distance.

  My attitude sobers. The air between us shifts. “Different how?”

  For a long moment, his gaze stays firmly trained on the water as whitecapped waves roll toward the shoreline.

  “Over the last two years, I’ve gained a greater appreciation for how precious life can be.” His lips flatten into a grimace. “The truth of the matter is that nothing lasts forever.”

  He looks away from the water and meets my gaze. There’s no guard or shield in place. Everything in him is laid bare. “Your parents’ deaths made me realize how fleeting life can be. I don’t want to end up alone. I’ve spent my entire life chasing after professional success.” He sighs. “Once you get a taste, you become greedy for more. The accolades. The power. The success. The money. And all the trappings that come with them.” His eyes stay locked on mine. “It’s taken me a long time to understand that those aren’t the things that matter in life. When I die, all of that dies with me. No one will give a damn about what I’ve achieved over the last twenty years. I don’t have a wife or children who love me. There’s no one.”

  I slip my hand into his and whisper, “That’s not true, Dominic. I care
. You know I do.” Hearing him talk about his own mortality makes me feel like I’ve been shot through the heart with an arrow. I’m almost breathless with the pain blooming in my chest.

  He gives my fingers a gentle squeeze in return. The tense muscles in his face relax marginally. “Of course, I know that. But I want someone to share my life with. I’m tired of living alone. Tired of not having someone to come home to at the end of the day. That’s what has been missing. It’s taken me a long time to figure it out.”

  After all these years of playing the field, of dating one woman after another after yet another, has Dominic finally found someone special to settle down with?

  The thought seems inconceivable.

  I rack my brain, trying to recall the conversations we’ve had recently. Were there any hints or subtle remarks I missed? Every time I sift through my memories, I come up empty-handed. I don’t remember him mentioning a woman at all. Or that he felt ready to settle down. At the welcome home party he threw for me a month ago, there was no special woman in attendance. I can’t recall him paying attention to anyone specific.

  Am I missing something?

  Clearing my throat, I tentatively ask, “Do you have someone in mind?”

  “Actually, I do.”

  It feels as though the wind has been knocked from my lungs. “Who?” As selfish as it sounds-and it does sound selfish-Dominic is all I have left. The idea of sharing him with another woman doesn’t sit well with me.

  What if she doesn’t like me?

  Or isn’t comfortable with the relationship he and I have?

  Pulling away from him at this point would kill me. We’ve been through so much together. He’s the one who picked me up when I couldn’t take care of myself. He kept me going. And now, after all this time, I feel like I’m finally getting back on my feet. Finally living my life after being shut down for two years.

  Life is just beginning to feel good again.

  Is it possible that he’s been waiting for me to reach this point before springing the news on me? Has someone been waiting in the wings for a while now?

  It’s not that I don’t want Dominic to find happiness. He needs a woman to share his life with. It feels selfish to keep him all to myself, especially when he feels as though something is missing.

  Sucking in a shaky breath, I scramble to get my feelings under control. It will take time for me to adjust to whomever he’s chosen to move on with. To adjust to the fact that it’s no longer only the two of us. To accept that someone more important than me will be the center of Dominic’s attention.

  That’s the way it should be, right?

  Angling toward me, he inhales deeply as if steeling himself to tell me something unpleasant. It sets my nerves on edge to see him this anxious. It’s so uncharacteristic of him. He’s usually confident and self-assured.

  I don’t think I’ve ever seen Dominic nervous before. Not even when he tried cases for multimillion-dollar settlements. My heart clenches under my breast. Whatever he’s about to say is important. I’m practically sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting for him to drop a major bomb. I’m no longer aware of other people on the sidewalk. I’m solely focused on Dominic.

  “I need you to hear me out on this. Okay?”

  Oh God…

  I wish he would spit it out already. The wait is killing me.

  Glancing down, I realize that he’s still holding my hand.

  “You’ve always held a special place in my heart, Gracie. I’ve watched you grow from a little girl with a curious mind into a beautiful, smart, engaging young woman. What happened to your parents was a tragedy. I’ve never dealt with such grief and to watch you go through it alone nearly broke my heart. I think the only reason we survived was because we had each other. I think our relationship is stronger, closer, deeper because we made it through hell together.”

  His words resonate in my head. Feeling jittery, I jerk my head in agreement. My mouth is so dry that I couldn’t speak if I tried.

  “But it feels as though our relationship has shifted. It doesn’t feel like we’re uncle and niece anymore. I think we have more of an adult relationship now.” He pauses before adding, “A friendship.”

  I stare, waiting for him to tell me about the woman he’s fallen in love with and how I don’t need him the way I once did. I want to tell him that he’s wrong. That I still need him. That I will always need him no matter how old I am.

  “Christ…” He plows his free hand through his hair in agitation before continuing. “I’m not saying this right.” He blurts, “I think our relationship has developed into something more serious. When I think about my future, you’re the one I want by my side.”

  Silence engulfs us as his eyes cautiously search mine. I blink as those huskily spoken words sink in. The wheels in my brain are spinning, but I can’t grasp their meaning.

  Dominic continues almost urgently. “We know each other so well and have so much in common. These feelings I have for you just feel… right.” Again, he falls silent, his concerned blue eyes watching mine for a response.

  “Gracie?” Wrapping his fingers around my other hand, he gives them both a gentle squeeze. “Did you hear what I said, sweetheart?”

  “I…” I shake my head to clear it.

  Did he just admit that the woman he’s interested in, the one he wants to make a life with… is me?

  “I know, I know... I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have sprung this on you out of the blue. We have this connection, this unbreakable bond. I’ve never experienced that with someone before, and I don’t want to lose it.”

  I can only stare.

  “Gracie,” he whispers, “please say something.”

  “I’m a little stunned,” I admit. “I didn’t expect you to say any of that. I thought you’d been keeping someone from me.”

  He laughs, but the sound is strained around the edges.

  “I’m sure you need some time to digest this. I don’t want you to feel pressured, okay? I just…” he glances away for a moment before his gaze slides back to mine. “I just needed to finally say the words. It was starting to eat me up inside. If you don’t feel the same or aren’t interested, then nothing will change between us.” His eyes brim with sincerity. “Not ever.”

  Biting my lower lip, I murmur, “I’m not sure how I feel right now. Maybe a little confused. I’ve never thought about you like that. I mean…” My words trail off. He’s being completely open with me. It’s difficult not to be just as forthcoming. “When I was younger, I had a bit of a crush on you.”

  His lips hitch up at the corners. He brings one of my hands to his lips and presses a gentle kiss against my knuckles.

  “I know.”

  Surprise zings through me, and I grin. “You did?”

  His smile intensifies. “It was very sweet. But that was just a crush. You were a kid back then. This is different.”

  I nod. It feels different. A bit uncomfortable. And scary because I don’t want the foundation of our relationship to change.

  He seems to sense my unease and the conflict coursing through me. His voice softens. “I’m not going to push you into something you don’t want.”

  My mind is a tangle of chaotic thoughts. It’s hard to keep them straight. “I need some time to think about it. To think about you in a different light.” I hastily tack on, “To see if that’s even possible.”

  “Of course. Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere, Gracie. And if you decide that a relationship between us isn’t something you’re interested in, that’s fine. There won’t be hurt feelings on my side. No matter what happens, we’ll always be family. Just remember that.”

  He wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into the heat of his body as we watch the waves roll in.

  In the blink of an eye, everything between us feels different.

  I feel blindsided by his words. By his feelings. I love Dominic. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love him. But it’s never been a romantic k
ind of love. Even when I had a silly teenage crush on him, it was nothing more than a phase.

  Innocent and fleeting.

  I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there’s something comforting about the notion of him loving me. Of us being together. Of our relationship growing stronger. Of not having to worry about him falling for someone else and getting pushed aside.

  Perhaps a fear of loneliness isn’t the best reason to be with him, but it’s there regardless, flashing like a beacon in the back of my mind.

  Being with Dominic wouldn’t be a hardship. We get along well and have so much history together. No one understands me the way he does. Sometimes I question if anyone ever will. And he’s right, we have a lot in common. There’s always been a special bond between us. My parents’ death strengthened and deepened our relationship.

  Deepened our love for one another.

  Is it really a far stretch for our relationship to develop into something romantic?

  I don’t know.

  That’s something I need to think about.

  Chapter Twenty

  One of my favorite things to do is stroll along Michigan Avenue and peek in all the brightly colored shop windows. This is exactly what Chloe and I are doing today. Chloe has been invited to a fancy work dinner and needs a cocktail dress. I would loan her one of mine, but she’s six inches taller than I am and not as curvy.

  Chloe has the body of a runway model.

  Skinny bitch.

  Know what’s worse than that?

  She eats like a teenage boy going through puberty and never gains any weight. It’s so unfair. I don’t like going out to lunch with her because she’ll order a burger loaded with the works, chili cheese fries on the side, and a large Coke. She always polishes everything from her plate. I order a salad and a Diet Coke and am up a pound the next morning.

  She’s also allergic to working out. I’ve cajoled her into running with me along the lakefront a few times, but we always end up walking after two blocks. Whatever genes she inherited need to be cloned.