Our Lady of Darkness sf-10
Page 32
She remembered his words very clearly and she also remembered how she had answered him.
‘Heraclitus said that you cannot step twice into the same river for other waters are continually flowing into it. That is what I answered. I remember.’
‘I cannot return to Cashel now, for honour’s sake. I have promises to keep at Canterbury.’
He made to turn away and then swung back, seizing her hands again. His eyes were moist. He was on the verge of telling her that he wouldreturn to Cashel but he knew that he had to be strong if they had any future together.
‘I do not want to be parted from you again so soon, Fidelma. One of your ancient triads asks — what are the three diseases that you may suffer without shame?’
She reddened a little and replied softly, ‘An itch, a thirst and love.’
‘Will you come with me?’ Eadulf asked with rough enthusiasm. ‘Come with me to Canterbury? There would be no shame in that.’
‘Would that be a wise decision for me to make?’ Fidelma asked with a ghost of a smile trembling on her lips. Her emotions wanted her to say yes, but logic held her back.
‘I am not sure wisdom enters into such matters,’ Eadulf said. ‘All I know is that no wind will serve the sails on your ship of life unless you steer for a particular port.’
Fidelma glanced behind her.
Along the quay Dego, Enda and Aidan were standing, waiting patiently while Fidelma and Eadulf said their farewells. They were holding the horses ready to commence the journey back to Cashel. She thought for a moment. No decision would come immediately. Perhaps being unable to make a decision, was a decision in itself? She did not know how to respond. Her thoughts were too confused. Eadulf seemed attuned to her doubts.
‘If you need to stay, stay; I will understand,’ he told her, his voice soft in resignation.
Fidelma met his warm brown eyes with her fiery green ones for several long seconds before she squeezed his hand, smiled quickly, let it fall, turned and walked silently away.
Eadulf made no attempt to say anything else. He watched her walking with a firm step back towards her mare. Aidan and Enda mounted their horses in readiness and Dego moved forward, leading her mount. Eadulf waited, his mind in conflict, torn between uncertainty and anticipation. He watched as she spoke a few words to Dego. Then she took her saddle bag from her horse. When she returned to Eadulf her face was flushed but she was smiling confidently.
‘Brehon Morann said that if reason cannot be satisfied, then follow the impulse. Let’s go aboard the ship before the captain sails without us.’
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