My body instantly melts into a big pile of mush. I so badly want to give in and spend every second of today with him like we had planned, but I completely forgot that I have to do a quiz online for one of my summer classes and it has to be submitted by five o’clock today.
“Yes, I’m sorry. I really don’t want to, though.”
Pecking my lips, he says “Okay,” then pecks my lips again. “Just one more,” he jokes before kissing me a third time. Although, I could sit here and kiss him all day, I know I have to go if I’m going to pass this class.
“You’re killing me here,” I say after the fourth kiss. He smiles against my lips.
“Have you changed your mind yet?”
“Trust me, if it were up to me we wouldn’t be having this discussion, but I need to pass this class.”
Exhaling with disappointment and defeat, he kisses me one last time before letting me go.
“You’ve got three hours, woman,” he jokes, tapping his watch.
Saluting him in agreement, I get out of the car and rush into my house. I want to get this quiz over with so I can get back to our day of fun.
While I’m going over my notes and doing a quick study session before I start my quiz, I hear a knock on the door. I glance up at the clock; its only been a little over an hour since Joey left. He can’t be back already?
“Coming!” I yell, placing my notes and laptop on the coffee table.
Turning the corner, Trent is standing on the other side of the screen door. My stomach drops to the floor, wondering what he is doing here.
“Can I come in?” he asks, expressionless.
“Yeah, of course,” I answer, opening the door. “Do you want a drink or anything?”
“No thanks, I just wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Um okay,” I respond nervously. “Do you wanna go sit in the living room then?”
“Sure.”
He sits down on the couch and I choose the seat across from him on the recliner. Anxious to hear what he has to say, I ask, “So, what’s up?”
“Is your mom here?” he asks. He sounds like he is stalling.
“No, she and my dad have some doctor’s appointments today. They won’t be home until later.”
“Oh, is everything okay?”
Seriously? Cut to the chase!
I smile. “Yup, just check-ups.”
“Okay, I’m just going to cut to the chase on why I’m here.”
Thank you!
“Do you know who Joey is?”
Wait, what?
“Um, what’s that supposed to mean? Of course I know who is,” I answer with a confused look.
“And you’re okay with that?” Trent asks, looking shocked.
“With what?” Why do I always feel like I’m missing something?
“He’s the guy that smashed into the credit union last summer,” he says like it’s common knowledge.
Still looking at him like he has ten heads, he pulls a newspaper from his back pocket and hands it to me. Looking down at the front page, there is a picture of the credit union, the front window smashed in with a BMW in front of it. A mug shot of Joey is right next to it.
Oh my god! I cover my open mouth with my hand. Although I don’t have time to watch the news, I remember my mom telling me about this story. I didn’t see the damages to the building because it’s at an intersection that I avoid–the intersection my parents were almost killed at. Everyone was talking about it, though. The town was in an uproar because the driver, Joey, was way over the legal limit for drinking while driving and basically got off with a slap on the wrist because his grandfather is the district attorney.
Dropping the article onto my lap, I cover my face with my hands and weep, unable to hold back the tears that have been welling in my eyes.
How did I not know this? How can I date someone so ignorant? Someone who could endanger so many lives by getting behind the wheel drunk?
Rushing to my side and sitting on the arm of the chair, Trent wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side for comfort.
“I’m sorry, Angel. I just knew there was no way you could be dating someone that has done something like this...with your mom, well I had to tell you,” Trent confesses, rocking, and soothing me like a baby.
“Thank you,” I whisper in between sobs. “I had no clue.”
We sit there for what feels like hours–me sobbing and Trent comforting me. Remembering that Joey is going to be back soon to pick me up, I look up at Trent in horror.
“What’s wrong?” he asks nervously.
“He’s going to be here soon!” I spat out. “We’re supposed to hang out this afternoon. What am I supposed to do?” I look at Trent with panic. I don’t want to see Joey–I’m disgusted. I could never be with someone like him. I’ve hated people like him all my life.
“Just pack up what you need and you can come over to my house for a little bit, until we can sort things out,” he says in a calm voice.
Sighing with relief, I quickly throw all my school stuff in my bag and grab my cellphone that I had placed on the table. Just as we are about to leave, I pause and ask Trent for the newspaper article. Grabbing the highlighter out of my back pack, I write in big bold letters across the pictures “I know!” then grab some tape and post it on the front door.
Walking down the driveway behind Trent, I turn around quickly to take one last look at the newspaper hanging on the door.
Putting his hand on my shoulder, Trent says, “It’ll be okay.”
Taking a deep breath, I turn and nod my head at Trent before making my way to his truck.
Once inside, I rest my head on the passenger door window, and close my eyes to try and wrap my head around all that has happened. Just when I think I can finally let my guard down and be happy, I’m slapped in the face with this, one of the worst things I can ever imagine happening. Why, out of all the guys out there, do I have to have feelings for the one that drove drunk into a building?
As we pull into Trent’s driveway, I realize that Joey will probably be pulling into mine at any second. Looking down at my phone, I stare at it for a second before holding down the power button and turning it off. I’m sure once Joey sees the newspaper on the door he’s going to call my phone and I just can’t do it. I can’t talk to him. The relationship needs to be done and over with.
Feeling limp, and lifeless, Trent helps me into the house and sits me down on his couch.
“Do you need anything? Drink, blanket…” he asks.
I need to go to sleep, and wish this day never happened.
“No thanks,” I respond instead.
Laying down on the couch, I stare at the wall. There’s nothing on it, nothing of interest, but I just don’t know what to think or what else I should be doing. Someone really needs to make a handbook for all this dating crap. Dating for Dummies, that would be perfect. Feeling my eyes getting heavy, I allow myself to fall asleep.
Maybe I can sleep away this horrible nightmare.
When I open my eyes, the television is on and Trent is sitting at the end of the couch near my feet, watching some show about hunting for alligators in the bayous. Muting the TV, Trent looks at me with a smile.
“Feeling better?” he asks, rubbing my leg.
I notice that the sun isn’t shining in the front window like it was when I fell asleep. “What time is it?”
“A little past five,” he answers.
Crap, I should probably call my parents and give them the heads up in case Joey comes back over.
“Can I use your phone?” I ask, not wanting to turn my phone back on. I’m sure I have missed calls and voicemails.
Shooting me a skeptical look, he hands me his cellphone. “I’m just calling my parents. I want to let them know where I am and fill them in.”
“I called them while you were sleeping,” Trent says. “You never know what people like that guy will do when they’re pissed off.”
Although Joey did do an a
wful thing, he isn’t an awful person. He has a huge heart and is a sweetheart. He’d never do anything to my parents or put them at harm. That I am sure of.
“What did they say?”
He smiles. “Nothing, really. Just thanked me for calling and taking care of you.” Sounds like something they’d say, so I smile in agreement.
“Did they say anything about seeing Joey?” I ask, eager to know.
“Nope, just said that the newspaper was gone.”
Huh.
“Do you need anything? Are you hungry?” Trent asks with a genuine smile.
Knowing how awful I’ve treated him, and how broken his heart was when I told him I had feelings for someone else, I wonder to myself how he can sit here and be so kind to me, still looking at me like I’m god’s gift to humanity.
Looking at him with admiration, I smile. “No thank you.”
We stare at each other for what feels like hours, although I know it’s only been minutes. I try to feel the love and passion he is providing me through his eyes. I wish I could feel for him what he obviously still feels for me. For a second I wonder if I can move forward with Trent, now that I know more about Joey and the secrets he holds. Trent and I were stuck because of my feelings for Joey. Now that Joey and I are over, and the elephant in the room that used to stand between us is gone, maybe Trent and I can move forward–have the happy ending that I always thought we’d have.
Although my heart is telling me otherwise, not matching the beat of his, I allow my mind to take the steering wheel. I already followed my heart once, and that didn’t really work out in my favor. It’s time to place my bets on something else–on my instinct, and my instinct is telling me that I need to be with someone like Trent…safe.
Pushing myself up to a sitting position, I cover his hand with mine and smile.
“Thank you. Thank you for everything.”
“You know I’d do anything for you, Angel,” Trent says, resting his hand on my face.
Feeling the warmth and comfort pass from his hand to my skin, I feel my heart faintly flutter. It may not be a lot, but it’s something–a step in the right direction.
Closing my eyes and turning my head, I kiss the inside of his hand. Instantly, I feel his tense body relax under my touch and my body aches, seeing how Trent’s body reacts to the simplest affection from me. Looking back at him, I see his eyes squeezed shut–taking anything he can get from me, and in that moment I know that even though I don’t feel the same right now, I’m sure going to try. I’m going to try and match the love he holds for me because loving someone like Trent promises a life worth living, a life to be proud of.
Taking a deep breath and disregarding the red flags that are going off in my heart telling me to stop, I lean forward and gently place my lips on Trent. He sighs immediately, like he’s been longing for my touch. Bringing both hands to my face, he presses in harder, deepening the kiss. Although the pressure on my mouth and the firmness of his touch screams possessiveness, his lips tell a different story; soft, gentle, and passionate. After only seconds, Trent removes his mouth from mine and whispers softly against my lips, “God, I’ve missed you.”
Loving the way his warm breath feels against my face, but not ready to talk about us, I return my lips to his with an intensity sure to set his blood boiling and his hormones raging. I can’t deal with feelings right now, but what I can deal with is the sexual tension that’s building between us. I may not love him, but I sure do want him. The devil inside is yearning for his warm gentle touch.
Responding to my urgency for more, Trent gently lays me back down on the couch, placing himself between me and the cushions. Having missed the comfort of his body, I reach down and grab the hem of his shirt, quickly pulling it over his head. Just as eager to be back in each other’s arms and to feel our skin pressed against one another, Trent pulls my shirt up and off. Instead of returning his mouth to mine, he runs hot seductive kisses down my neck as his hand slides up my stomach until it’s cupping my eager and awaiting breast. Teasing my very hard nipple with his fingers my back arches, loving the sensation it brings. Noticing my pleasure climbing, Trent reaches around my back and unclasps my bra. Throwing it off to the side, his mouth finds one breast while his hand returns to the other. His mouth feels incredible around my nipple and I moan while tangling my fingers in his hair. The intensity of the pulse between my legs is becoming so unbearable that I begin rocking my hips, searching for the friction I’m craving. After having his way with my other breast, Trent begins a trail of fervent kisses down my stomach, pausing when he gets to my shorts. He looks up at me for permission to continue and I nod my head yes with approval.
Closing me eyes and throwing my head back further into the cushions, I try to mentally prepare myself for what’s about to happen. Keeping my eyes shut, I feel him gently tug my pants down along with my underwear. As I wait to hear him unzip his pants, I’m startled when I feel my legs open further and his tongue slide in between the folds of my sensitive area. Opening my eyes in shock, I quickly surge with an uncontrollable wave of heat.
Holy crap, this feels amazing!
All my inhibitions are out the door, succumbing to the overwhelming sensitivity spreading like wild fire throughout my body. I’m at the mercy of this man, and I don’t care what happens from this point on.
All my blood flows to one heated area and I feel a sudden warmth fill my lower half as my body quivers with an uncontrollable wave of pleasure.
Feeling like a pile of mush spread out across the couch, I open my eyes and see Trent standing, pulling down his pants with an irresistible eager grin. I should feel a rush of anxious butterflies, but instead I feel a rush of nervous knots starting to form in my stomach.
Oh god, we’re really going to do this.
Taking a deep breath, I push my reservations about having sex with Trent to the back of my head.
Trent is who I’m supposed to be with. This is where I’m supposed to be.
Looking back up to him with a smile, I’m shocked to see him already naked and fully equipped with protection.
Does he carry one in his back pocket?
Shaking my head free from my wandering thoughts I return my focus to Trent as he slowly climbs back over me, sliding sweet seductive kisses up my stomach and along my neck until his lips softly rest on mine. Instead of the urgency we had just moments ago, Trent moves slowly and passionately like I’m a delicate porcelain doll. Moving his mouth gently across my face, he whispers, “I love you,” in my ear as his length flirts with my opening. I don’t know if it’s his words or the feeling of Trent, so close to being inside me, but my body tenses from the mounds of guilt weighing on me. Not noticing my change in body language Trent continues on, moving his mouth over my chest while whispering sweet nothings.
When I close my eyes in an attempt to get me back in the game, to try and get on the same sexual page as Trent, all I can envision is Joey. The way my body felt under his touch, how my body tingles with pleasure every time we kiss and I’m suddenly wishing it was Joey on top of me rather than Trent. Realizing that this is so wrong and that this shouldn’t be happening I try to swallow back the knot forming in my throat, but find it impossible as the tears start to well in my eyes. In that moment, I realize that I’m going to have to break Trent’s heart again; that I’m going to have to admit that my heart is elsewhere while naked underneath him.
I gently push Trent’s chest up off of me, and wiggle up the couch.
Looking down at me with pained eyes, he asks, “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”
“No…I’m sorry, Trent. I just can’t do this,” I say, shaking my head and letting the tears I can no longer hold back fall freely down my face.
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he whispers, “Is this because of him?”
My heart aches, seeing the all to familiar pain creep across Trent’s face again.
Swallowing past the bulge in my throat, I quietly respond, “Yes.”
&
nbsp; “Dammit, Hope!” he yells, pushing up off of me and sitting back on his heels. “Can’t you see he’s a screw up, and not good enough for you?”
“You don’t even know him!” I jump to Joey’s defense.
“I know enough. I can’t fucking believe you can even sit here and defend him when it could’ve easily been him who put your mom in that wheelchair,” he says with a look of disgust.
Knowing he’s completely right I sigh and nod my head in defeat.
He’s right. He’s fricken right and I hate it.
“I know, alright? I know what he did and how fucked up it is that I still have feelings for him, but I do. And I can’t help it.”
“You know, I thought that by stopping by the library and bringing you that article, proving what a fuck up he is, you would realize what a mistake you made–leaving me for him, but I guess it’s no use. You’re so brainwashed by that son of bitch it’s not even funny.” He stands, and pulls his pants back on, throwing my clothes to me.
“You brought that article over today in attempt to win me back?” I ask with an angry look.
“Yeah, it worked out real well didn’t it?” he says shaking his head. “I thought I had you back, ‘ya know? When you woke up and looked at me that way again, like I meant something to you, I…”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen this way. Do you think I want to have feelings for him? Do you think I want to care about someone like Joey?” I yell. “I’ve tried so hard to not feel anything for him! I want to be with you. I want to love you…”
“Just stop. I’m so done with this, Hope. I’m so over being second best for you,” he confesses, exhaling in defeat. “I’m done playing these games,” he continues before walking out of the room.
Feeling the tears trickle down my face again, I curl my legs into my stomach and let it all out.
When did I become this god awful person?
Summer Rush (Because of Hope) Page 11
