Daddy Long Stroke

by Cairo

  “Five years,” I tell her. I figure since I’m already on a roll with the lies, I might as well stretch the shit out as far as it can go.

  “Five years? Wow. How long have you been out?”

  “I’ve been home for three years, and been off parole for two. I swear, baby, I don’t wanna go back to the streets. But these muhfuckas gonna have a nigga hittin’ up the block, if sumthin’ doesn’t pop off soon.”

  “You gotta be patient, and not give up,” she offers. “You gotta keep the faith, and know something greater is coming to you. Selling drugs is only a temporary fix. Sure, it’ll put fast money in your pockets, but what happens if you get locked up again?”

  I roll my eyes up in my head. I know she means well, but I don’t need no preachy-ass ho tryna give me no sermon. The only thing I wanna hear is how much money she’s gonna peel off to a muhfucka.

  “Well, I say,” sighin’, “at this point, I’ll take my chances. A nigga needs some paper in his pockets, you smell me? It’s got me feelin’ low ’n shit. That’s why I haven’t called you…” I pause, smilin’, givin’ her biscuit-head time to sort out what I’ve told her. I decide to go in for the kill. “…You got my head all fucked up, baby. I’ve been thinkin’ ’bout you, and missin’ you, and wantin’ to see you ’n shit. I wanna hold you in my arms real bad, but a nigga can’t even afford to buy a muthafuckin’ plane ticket. That’s how broke I am. And it’s got my head all fucked up right now.”

  “OhmyGod, for reeeeeeaaaaaal? You don’t know how that makes me feel. I wanna see you, too. You have no idea how much I’ve been missing you. All I’ve been doing is thinking about you, and how much I enjoyed being with you. The last thing you need to do is be thinking about selling drugs again. Why don’t you come out here and stay for awhile? Who knows, you might have better luck finding a job here.”

  I grin. “Baby, where am I gonna stay?”

  “With me,” she replies, soundin’ all excited to have some dick in her life, “where else? My home is your home, baby. And you can stay here for as long as you need to, until you can get on your feet.”

  I slide my hand down in my pants, play wit’ my dick, grinnin’. I’m tellin’ you. Fuck a weak-minded or emotionally starved broad right, and she’ll do whatever you want wit’ little to no coercion.

  I don’t say shit; let her think the phone went dead.

  “Hello, Alex? You still there?”

  I lower my voice, sniffle a bit. “Yeah, baby. I’m here.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m thinkin’, that’s all. I can’t believe you wanna do all this for me.”

  “I know this might sound crazy because we don’t really know each other, but I feel like I love you, Alley Cat.”

  Umm, med check…please, I think, sparkin’ a blunt. Looks like we gotta looney on the loose. I thought I already warned her once not to catch feelin’s. I decide to give her a gentle reminder. “Listen, boo, on some real shit, I really ’preciate you havin’ my back and all, but a muhfucka ain’t wit’ all that love shit, right now.”

  “I know, I know. You already told me that. And I respect that. Still, you can’t stop me from feeling what I feel, whether you ever feel the same or not.”

  I sigh, shakin’ my head. She’s been warned.

  “I’ll call you in a few days with your flight info, okay, baby?”

  “I’ll be waitin’,” I tell her, disconnectin’ the call.

  23

  Three days later, Vita hits me up on my cell. “Yo, what’s good, pretty baby?”

  “Hey, sexy man,” she says, soundin’ like she’s grinnin’ from ear to ear. I can practically see this thirsty bitch droolin’. “I’ve been thinking about you. You miss me? I know I miss you, bad.”

  What the fuck?! Hell no, I don’t miss ya weeble-wobblin’ ass. “I’ve been thinkin’ ’bout you, too. Hearin’ ya voice really put a smile on a nigga’s face. What’s good?”

  “You,” she tells me, like I don’t already know this. “I made your flight reservations. I’m gonna text you the information.” I roll my eyes. Why the fuck didn’t you just text the shit in the first place?

  “Oh, aiight. That’s wassup. Good lookin’ out, baby.” Eight seconds later, the text comes through wit’ all the flight info. She got me leavin’ out next Wednesday on Delta. What the fuck? I don’t fly no muthafukin’ Delta! All my frequent flier miles are wit’ Continental. I look at the text again, then frown. “Ya text came through. But, uh, where’s the return info?”

  “Oh, I got you a one-way ticket.”

  No shit, bitch! I take a deep breath, shakin’ my head. “Why?”

  “I thought you were gonna stay for a while so you can check out the jobs here. Whenever you’re ready to go back, I’ll just book you a return flight.”

  What a dumb ass. “Oh, aiight. And you still gonna hook a nigga up wit’ some wheels while I’m out there, right?”

  “It’s all taken care of.”

  I smirk. “That’s wassup.”

  “I told you I was gonna take care of everything.”

  “True that. Good lookin’ out, babe. I hope you know how much this means to me.”

  She giggles, then whispers. “I can’t wait for you to get here, so you can show me just how much gratitude and appreciation you have. I got something real tight waiting for you.”

  “Is it wet?”

  “Yep. And real slippery.”

  I lower my voice. “Stop that, baby. You makin’ my dick hard.”

  “Oooooh, squeeze it for me.”

  I roll my eyes up in my head. “I’ma let you squeeze it when I see you, aiight?”

  She giggles again. “That’s even better.”

  For some reason, imaginin’ Vita bent over a tool bench wit’ her pudgy-lil’ feet stuffed in a pair of red stilettos, while poppin’ her puffy ass wit’ a wooden paddle, makes my dick pulse. “What kinda panties you got on?” I ask her, pullin’ my dick outta the slit of my boxers.

  She whispers into the phone, “Pink lace.”

  “Thong, g-string, French-cut; what type?”

  “Thong,” she says.

  “Oh, aiight. That’s wassup. Listen, baby, you got a muhfucka wantin’ to nut, so I’ma bounce so I can pop one off, aiight?”

  “Mmmm, I wish I was there to watch.”

  “Yeah, me too, so you could lick all ’round these big-ass balls for me.”

  “Mmmm, daddy. I…can…not…wait to see you.”

  I shake my head. “Look, boo, I done warned you ’bout gettin’ too caught up in a muhfucka like me; just let shit flow.”

  “I know, I know. But, still…I miss you. And my pussy misses you even more.”

  It’s obvious she’s the type who has to learn the hard way. I shake my head. So I guess it’ll be my fault when this ho falls outta her cuckoo’s nest, and starts losin’ it, right? Yeah, whatever!

  “Damn, I wanna get up between them legs and slow fuck the shit outta you.”

  She moans into the phone. “You make me so horny when you talk like that. Shoot, I gotta go, though, ’cause I’m still at work.” She sucks her teeth.

  “Oh, aiight. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

  “You, too, big daddy.”

  “Hit me up later, aiight, baby?”

  “Are you gonna pick up? Seems like whenever I call you, you don’t answer my calls.”

  Maybe, I think to tell her. But I say, “No doubt,” instead.

  The minute we disconnect, I hit Kanika up. She doesn’t answer, but I leave her a message lettin’ her know when I’ma be in town.

  I want my dick wet, I think, scrollin’ through my address book. I decide to hit up Shalonda—this lil’ brown-skinned shortie I fuck wit’ e’ery now and then over in Bloomfield. We met last summer on a chatline. The bitch is broke, but she sucks a mean dick. And she swallows. So that’s basically all she’s good for. She answers on the third ring.

  “Hey, stranger, long time, no hear.”

  “What’s
good, baby?”

  “You,” she tells me.

  “That’s wassup.” I pause, decidin’ to get straight to the point. “Yo, you still suckin’ dick?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  I suck my teeth. “’Cause I want my dick sucked, you stupid bitch!” I hear myself sayin’ in my head. Instead I say, “You should come through and hit me wit’ some of that bomb-ass lip service.”

  “We fuckin’?”

  “Nah, baby, I just want my dick sucked, feel me? No convo. No fuckin’. Just suck and muthafuckin’ go. So, you wit’ it or what?”

  She sighs. “If I’m comin’ out, I wanna ride down on some dick.”

  “Look, I told you I ain’t checkin’ for no pussy right now; just some slow, sloppy, wet dick suckin’.”

  “Damn, that’s real fucked up. You comin’ at me like I’m some real live dick washer.”

  Stupid bitch, you are! “Yo, it is what it is. I’m keepin’ shit real wit’ you. You either suckin’ this dick, or you not. What’s it gonna be? ’Cause I ain’t ’bout to be on this phone all day goin’ back ’n forth wit’ you.”

  “I’m not,” she says.

  “Then that’s what it is. I’m out.” Click. I bang on her retarded ass, then call Keisha. She picks up all eager ’n shit on the first ring.

  “Hello?”

  “What’s good, baby?”

  “You.”

  “Oh, word? It’s like that?”

  “You already know,” she says. I can tell the ho is smilin’ from ear to ear. Another call is comin’ through. I peep the number. It’s Sholanda’s dumb-ass callin’ back. I guess her trick ass has a change of heart and is ready to get her throat stretched. I ignore the bitch and keep on talkin’.

  “That’s wassup. You feel like swabbin’ some dick?”

  “I don’t know. It all depends on whose dick it is. Why?”

  Why the fuck these silly-ass hoes gotta play? “I’m tryna get this nut off, that’s why.”

  She sucks her teeth, sighin’. “Well, you gonna have to come to me ’cause I don’t feel like driving.”

  I smile. “I’m on my way.”

  Twenty minutes later, I’m showered, dressed and headed toward the parkway. Foxy Brown’s old joint “Hot Spot” is pumpin’. I got the windows down, and my left arm draped outta the driver’s side, chillin’. It’s nice as fuck out, and a nigga’s pissed that I’m posted up in this muthafuckin’ hooptie, instead of flossin’ in my shiny whip. But it is what it is. Like I said before, I’ll be damned if I let another ho fuck my shit up again. I shake my head, thinkin’ ’bout Racquel’s smutty-ass smearin’ dog shit on my muthafuckin’ windows, talkin’ ’bout the dog shit was for bein’ such a lyin’, no-good dog. Go figure! What kinda bitch would scoop up animal shit and smear it on a muhfucka’s windshield? A craaaaazy-ass one would!

  I’ll never forget the night that it happened. I was at this club in Newark chillin’ ’n flossin’ wit’ my boys and poppin’ mad shit to a buncha bitches. At three a.m. we comin’ outta the club, and as I get to the spot where my whip is parked, I see my muthafuckin’ shit is sittin’ kinda low. I’m like, “What the fuck?” I walk up on my shit, and all four tires are slaughtered. Somebody had flatbedded me! A muhfucka was heated. Muhfuckas were out there clownin’ me, word up. And I wasn’t diggin’ it. Then to add insult to injury, someone had smeared shit all over my windows. I was out there spazzin’ for real, tryna figure out who the fuck did me in. Then all of a sudden, a dark car slowly drove by and I spotted her. She yelled outta her window, “Hey, Alley Cat! I hope you like the smell of that dog shit, nigga, ’cause that’s just what the fuck you are; you black bastard!” She sped off, laughin’. Yo, you shoulda seen me. I started chasin’ the car like a madman, but the bitch ran a red light and left me in the dust. Man, listen…that night, if I’d had a brick, I woulda thrown it straight at her dome.

  I sigh, shakin’ my head. Crazy-ass bitches! If they weren’t good for suckin’ dick and givin’ up the pussy, I wouldn’t fuck wit’ ’em. I’d beat my dick and keep it movin’. I pull up in front of Keisha’s spot and park. I text her, lettin’ her know I’m outside and to be on her knees ready to take this hard, horny dick in her mouth. She texts back: The doors already unlocked. I’ll be on my knees waitin’. Have ya dick out and I’ll take care of the rest. I grin, walkin’ up to her door, unfastenin’ my belt and unzippin’ my jeans.

  Yeah, it’s broad daylight, and? If ya ass ain’t seen a muhfucka’s dick before, then I guess you ’bout to catch more than an eyeful. I open her door, holdin’ my dick in my hand, closin’ it behind me wit’ my foot. I smile. She’s on her knees blindfolded and naked wit’ her mouth wide open, ready and waitin’. I walk over to her, then slowly slide the head of my dick in between her wet dick suckas. I pump her skull ’til a thick cream coats her throat. Then I pull out and jack the rest of my nut all over her face, smearin’ the last few drops ’round her lips.

  24

  “Yo, baby girl, what’s poppin’ wit’ that threesome? Or were you just runnin’ ya dick sucka?” I ask as soon as Falani picks up. I get outta bed, stretchin’. I was ’posed to get at her weeks ago ’bout settin’ this ep up. She probably thought I forgot. I yawn, glancin’ over at the clock: 9:24 A.M.

  I spark a blunt. Take two puffs, holdin’ the smoke in my lungs, then head to the bathroom to drain the snake.

  “Well, damn. It’s taken you long enough to finally get back to me. But no, I wasn’t fronting. It’s a go. All you gotta do is get here. My girl was asking me the other day if I had heard from you. She’s definitely with it. After I told her about you, that’s all she’s been talking about.” I exhale. “We’re waiting on you.”

  When I’m done pissin’, I wash my hands, starin’ at myself in the mirror. You’se a sexy, black muhfucka, I think, dryin’ my hands. “Oh, aiight. That’s what it is. What’s the chick’s name, again?” I walk back into the bedroom. I throw on a pair of sweats and a hoodie, then sit on the edge of the bed to slip on my Nikes.

  “Lydia.”

  I grab my car keys and head downstairs, walkin’ into the kitchen. “Oh, aiight. She look good?”

  “Yeah, she’s decent-looking.” I frown. When a chick says another chick is only decent-lookin’, that means one of two things for me: She’s either fly as hell and bein’ hated on, or she’s related to a damn gorilla.

  “Don’t have me layin’ up wit’ nobody lookin’ like Shrek, or some wildebeest ’n shit.”

  She laughs. “She’s far from either, trust me.”

  “Oh, aiight. Just makin’ sure. So when we makin’ it pop?”

  “You tell me. You’re the one who seems to have the busy schedule.”

  “Next Friday,” I tell her, lookin’ at the mini calendar on the ’fridge door. I open it and take out a bottle of Dasani water, open it, then guzzle it down.

  “Okay, perfect. I’ll let her know.”

  “Bet. You gonna eat that ho’s pussy while I fuck you from the back, right?”

  She laughs. “I don’t know about all that. I might let her eat mine, but I don’t think I can stomach licking another woman’s pussy. And why she gotta be a ho?”

  ’Cause that’s what the fuck she is. I suck my teeth, iggin’ the question. “Yo, go ’head wit’ that corny shit. Talkin’ ’bout you ain’t eatin’ no pussy. Fuck outta here.”

  She huffs. “OhmyGod…how is that being corny? Would you be down to suck a nigga’s dick, if I wanted a threesome with you and another dude?

  Is this cum-breath ho fuckin’ serious, askin’ me some dumb shit like that? She knows damn well no real nigga suckin’ another nigga’s joint, period! “You musta bumped ya damn head. Hell muthafuckin’ no! I ain’t on that homo shit.”

  “Hmmm…but, you think I am.”

  “Yo, ain’t nuthin’ homo ’bout two freaky broads gettin’ it in,” I tell her, lockin’ up Pops’ spot and then gettin’ in my ride. “I think that shit’s sexy as fuck, watchin’ a fly-ass chick munchin’ anoth
er bitch’s snapper while throwin’ her fatty up on this big-ass dick. It’s time you take ya friendship to the next level. Step outta ya box, baby, and let it do what it do. Slurp ya girl up while I stretch ya back out. I’m tellin’ ya; it’ll make y’all’s bond tighter.” I spark a blunt, then take two pulls, slowly blowin’ it outta the side of my mouth. Fuck the dumb shit she talkin’. I already know what it is. Wit’ a few drinks and the right mood, this freak bitch’ll be lappin’ at the clit.

  “Yeah, whatever.” She laughs. “That’s what your mouth says.”

  “Nah, baby…it’s what I’m tryna get ya mouth to do, but you wanna be on some extra-dumb shit.”

  “I can’t believe you’re serious.”

  “Hell muthafuckin’ yeah, I’m serious. Oh, so what you thought; I was gonna lay back and let both of you suck my dick, then fuck you both one at a time and that was gonna be aiight wit’ me?” I ask, slowin’ down to pay the toll. Crook-ass muhfuckas, I think, handin’ the attendant a twenty. A fuckin’ dolla to ride the muthafuckin’ highway. That’s some real bullshit. I take my change, then pull off.

  “I told you, she can eat me. Other than that, I’m not making any promises.”

  “Nah, baby, I ain’t that kinda dude. I need a lil’ more than that. Seein’ two chicks freak is what bricks my dick. I wanna see you sixty-ninin’ that shit.”

  “Hmmm…and what am I getting out the deal?”

  “The best of both worlds,” I say, laughin’.

  “Yo, what the fuck, asshole?!” I snap on this dumb-ass cracker bitch who keeps ridin’ his brakes in front of me. “Oh, my bad,” I say, gettin’ into the next lane. “This dumb fuck in front of me, tryna cause a damn accident out here.” I drive up alongside the car, ready to ice-grill whoever it is. But, I shake my head when I see it’s an old-ass woman wit’ her seat way up to the steerin’ wheel. The dumb bitch is practically sittin’ up on the dashboard. “So, you tryna let a nigga taste ya girl’s pussy on ya lips or what?”