The Touch Series: Initiation

by Cecilia Lonski

  He still looked sad and concerned. He had his hands in his front pockets and looked down for a short moment. He looked up, “What's wrong?” His voice was soft and kind which made it harder for me to be mad at him.

  I pointed my finger at him in an accusing manner, “You chose me for the group because you thought you would have some fun with someone like me!” I tried hard to keep my voice from cracking. “You think I'm some sort of Lolita that you can use for your pleasure. Well, I'm not having it. I will not be used!”

  He looked alarmed and completely bewildered. He ran a hand over his mouth and then he came closer. His voice was demanding, “What made you think that? Huh?” He pointed back to the car, “because of the stupid Japan-thing?”

  I jumped slightly forward and clenched my fists at my sides. “Not just that. It's everything. I don't look like any of the others. Apparently, I'm the first non-model looking girl you've ever had. And you ask me for private time... and...and... then you're really cold to the others but not to me. And that's suspicious.” I stopped for a moment because I was breathless. “You've been playing with my emotions this whole time. Artie knew it and he tried to warn me. And I got mad at him. But it's you I should be mad at.”

  He listened to me the whole time. He never attempted to even interrupt. His facial expression never changed either. When it was apparent that my rant was done, he spoke up softly, “are you done?”

  “Yes!” There was a hint of acid in my voice this time.

  He tilted his head up and sighed. “You're right. It does seem strange that you are in the group. You are not my usual type. And when Artie came to me to tell me that he had a friend who was in some financial issue, I initially was against it. I wasn't going to put someone through simply because they were a friend of Artie's. I have my criteria and a certain way of doing things. And it has always been like that.” He crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head lower to meet my gaze. “But then you came to my office and I changed my mind right then and there. Yes, you were different but in a good way. I was fascinated but not in the way you think. And I've been wanting to be with you privately to get to know you.”

  It felt like I held in the biggest breathe of my life when he spoke. When he finished, I exhaled and wiped a tear from one of my eyes. I licked my lips before I spoke, “I would like to trust you, Josef. I do. But... I'm not sure if I can. I don't know you.”

  He shook his head, “No, you don't know me,” then he came closer and let out his hand for me to take, “but can you try to get to know me?”

  He was allowing for me to touch him again. For me to make the move. I thought about it and everything he had said and of the warnings Artie and Ivy gave me. But when I looked into his eyes, I saw sincerity in them as he waited for an answer.

  I barely took risks in life. And now I was here, on a road, with an opportunity to choose a path.

  And I was going to take one.

  I took a step closer and took his hand. With his free hand, he wiped the tears that had fallen on to my cheek. Then he gave me a smile, “Can we go back? I don't trust Jacob alone with any girl, let alone two.”

  I laughed and smiled, “Yes.”

  He was still smiling as he whispered, “good”. We started walking back to the car and as we got closer Janel looked alarmed as she saw my hand in Josef's. She said nothing and stepped back into the car. We went in right after her. Ivy and Jacob were already inside drinking. Ivy looked up and smiled.

  I whispered to her, “I'm fine.”

  She handed me a bottle of beer which I gladly took. On my other side, Janel was eying me suspiciously. I would have to explain to her later what had happened.

  Jacob was chewing on a strawberry as he asked in an annoyed tone, “What was the hold up?”

  Josef told him to not ask questions. As the limo started moving again, I tried not to look at Josef. But I couldn't help it.

  I had fallen. Hard.

  We shopped at one of Hawaii's biggest and most popular malls. We didn't have a mall at Richmond. We would have to travel a good few miles to get to one so I rarely bothered. But it always fascinated me. It wasn't the glamour of it that gave off a magical aura to me but the culture; I loved seeing the people together; friends window shopping, families eating ice cream while browsing, and couples holding hands.

  The five of us didn't necessarily belong in any one of those general categories but that didn't mean that we didn't have a good time with one another. Though Jacob complained most of the time, it was fun to make fun of teens we saw or disagree on certain fashions.

  Josef treated us to a shopping spree which made me uncomfortable at first but he wouldn't take no for an answer. And although towards the end of the day, Jacob talked most of the time, the day still allowed Janel and Ivy to see the kind side of Josef.

  When we arrived back to the hotel, Ivy had begged for us to allow her to stay in our room.

  “Please, I hate my roommate.” She quickly turned to look at Josef and put her hands up in defense. “No offense. It's just that she's really boring.” She was talking about Nadine, another super tall blonde, who also happened to be a crazy fitness fanatic who barely spoke about anything other then health and fitness.

  Janel let out a slight groan and then laughed, “Fine. But you're sleeping on the couch.”

  “Mr. Constane, can I see you for a moment?” A man in a suit came from around the main reception desk. Josef told us all to wait for him before getting on the elevators. When he left, Jacob quickly put his arm around Ivy's shoulders.

  He leaned in very closely to her ear which made her recoil. “You know, you can always stay in my room. It's a huge King-size.”

  He was definitely sleazy and apparently not a very good friend to Josef since he was clearly flirting with Ivy. I looked back towards Josef to see if he was watching. Luckily, he had his back turned to us as he spoke to the man in the suit. I didn't want Ivy getting in trouble for appearing to be violating one of the rules in the contract. It wasn't even her fault. But if anyone was going to get the blame it was not going to be Josef's best friend.

  Ivy didn't have to say anything to get him to back off. She simply gave him a murderous look. When he had his arm off, he put his hands up as he backed away from her.

  At that moment Josef returned not looking very happy. I looked at him and tried to make out what had happened between him and the man. “Is everything okay?” I asked as I eyed him.

  He muttered as he replied, “Everything's fine.” But judging by his alarming look, something was definitely not fine. I looked back to see if the man in the suit was still there but he wasn't. Josef moved towards the elevator and pressed the elevator button. The mood had completely changed at that point.

  Josef and Jacob walked us to our room. When we came closer to the door, I suddenly felt scared that they wanted to come inside. I remembered the mess that we made the night before and we didn't have time to clean up. I quickly dashed to the door and put my back against it with my arms out on both sides. I started laughing uncontrollably until Ivy looked at me like I was crazy. I cleared my throat, “Our room is...um...not clean.” I laughed out loud again. Jacob made a face as if he smelled something bad. “I mean, it's just a mess... clothes everywhere...beer bottles...bras. Ha!”

  Josef rolled his eyes as he stuffed his hands into his front jean pockets. “Relax. We weren't going to come inside. We have other plans. We just wanted to make sure that you three got to your rooms safely.”

  All of a sudden I felt like a complete idiot and I flushed out of embarrassment. “Oh. Good... we will finally have time to clean!” I clapped my hands in a mocking manner. “So, you have plans, huh?” I wondered what he was going to do. Was he going to spend time with some of the other girls? I was smiling at him, trying to not give off that I was feeling slightly jealous.

  Jacob ran a hand through his hair and replied in a casual manner, “Yeah. We're gonna have some fun in our penthouse,” He licked his lips and looked at Ivy wit
h playful eyes, “no biggie.”

  Josef looked at his phone before he spoke again, “Gwen has plans for you all today. It will start soon.” He looked at us with a grin, “make sure you wear something comfortable.” He bowed his head to us and walked away with Jacob following.

  I looked at Ivy and Janel and quickly asked, “what did he mean by that?”

  They both shrugged. Janel walked around me to open the door. “Let's get ready.”

  Ivy walked in after her and laughed out loud, “And let's make sure we clean the room too!” She turned and winked at me.

  I stepped in, closed the door and fell on my back onto my bed. “I'm the biggest dork. Ever.”

  ***

  Nearly two hours later, all three of us received a text message from Gwen telling us to meet her downstairs in ten minutes. “Great,” I muttered after I finished reading it.

  We met Gwen and the others downstairs near reception and for the first time since I had met her, Gwen looked happy. I was shocked to see a smile and her eyes lit up with joy. “Mr. Constane wanted for all of you to have golf lessons today. And I am going to have so much fun watching.” She found happiness in sadistic forms. That was good to know.

  We all arrived at the golf center and were immediately introduced to our instructor, Beth. As she was in the process of demonstrating how to position ourselves with the club, Cassie leaned in behind me and whispered, “So, what did you three do today with Mr. Constane and Jacob?” I could hear the venom in her voice.

  “None of your business,” I whispered as I rolled my eyes. I was trying to concentrate on what Beth was saying but Cassie wasn't going to let me.

  “I honestly don't see what he sees,” she began to whisper again, “but I'm sure it has to do with his general need to do charity work for his friends.”

  Was she slow? We were all here getting paid by him. “You do know that we are all here for money, right?”

  “Oh, of course sweetie. But none of us are here because his friend, Artie, begged for us to be here.” I turned around to eye her and she was smirking with her snake eyes glowing. “I heard Artie had to really work for you to be here. That's probably why Mr. Constane has been so nice to you. So what is it? You have baby daddy issues? The trailer lot is evicting you and your family?”

  I didn't have to reply because Ivy was suddenly right in front of her. “And are you here because of the high medical bills you have to pay from all those STD treatments you've gotten in the last year?” Ivy put a finger to her mouth and pretended to be thinking about something, “Wait, no. You paid those off with the money you got from the last time you were here. That's right.” Cassie rolled her eyes and stepped back.

  Ivy turned back when Gwen scolded her to pay attention to Beth. I smiled at Ivy and she smiled back. Cassie was in the Club before? Did he hire the same girls?

  For the next hour, we each practiced swinging the club and trying to hit the ball and get it to a nearby hole that was only a few feet away. And it was fair to say that I sucked. I kept hitting the grass and always missing the golf ball. Behind me, Ivy swung effortlessly and the ball flew high and far. Beth clapped and praised her uncontrollably. When Ivy saw my surprised look, she shrugged, “So I've had a few lessons before?”

  The entire group stopped swinging when we heard someone clapping behind us. It was Jacob. He placed both his hands on the top of his club and gave Ivy a big smile that exposed his teeth, “Very nice, Ivy. I would not have expected.” She sighed and walked away, brushing past him which made him annoyed.

  Josef was now behind him with his hands behind his back. He told everyone to continue practicing. I was walking to go find Ivy so I can ask her for help. As I tried to walk away from my place, Josef cleared his throat. I turned to face him and he was still in his exact spot with his hands behind his back. “Where are you going?,” he asked coolly.

  “Well, I suck at this and I want to go get Ivy to get her to give me some pointers.”

  He raised one of his arms and gestured for me to take my place back, “let me see.”

  I exhaled rather loudly and as I went back into position I felt tense with my face flushing uncontrollably. I took one swing and it was enough to receive giggles from Cassie and Lisa nearby. I turned to Josef who looked amused but his eyes were sincere, “so you need some practice.”

  “No, trust me. I suck at every sport. I was always picked last for any team at school.” I tried to kick off the grass that was sticking underneath my shoes. Then he came close to my side.

  “I'll help.” Without a second of hesitation, I leaned into position while I angled the club. “Okay, lean it a little further.” He had his hand on my back and the other on my stomach. I caught my breathe before he leaned me in further. Then he was behind me and brought his arms around to show me how to hold the club. I could no longer concentrate. He was saying something but I couldn't hear.

  I was breathless when I asked him softly, “sorry, what did you say?” I looked back over my shoulder to meet his face just a centimeter from mine. My face became redder and the golf club shook in my hand. I got out of his grip and turned to him. He looked surprised when I did so.

  “I'm sorry, I need some...water.” I quickly sprinted away and handed my club to one of the court attendees. Gwen stopped me in my tracks as I got closer to the hotel.

  “Where are you going?” She looked freaked out.

  “I just want to get some water.”

  She immediately pointed to the nearby beach bar. “Get water there and be back soon.”

  I walked to the bar and took a seat and asked for water. Truth to be told, I really needed something stronger but I didn't want to take the risk of seeing if the kind looking waiter would serve to someone under aged.

  I placed my elbows on the table and dropped my head into my hands. I breathed in and out to control my racing heart beat. When the waiter brought my drink, I drank it quickly without taking a break. I looked toward the golf course where the group was to see if I could spot Josef but he wasn't there. I probably made him pissed. He was trying to be nice and help me suck less at golf and I couldn't control myself around him.

  Why was I acting like this?

  Why was it so hard to be around him, when deep down...I really wanted to.

  When the entire group was done with the golf lesson we headed back towards the hotel. At the reception I saw a poster for a 1920's themed Big Band dance they were holding at the hotel. I loved themed dances like that and I had a short dress the would pass for the style. I asked Janel and Ivy if they wanted to go but they opted to go the hotel's nightclub instead. Typical for Ivy, not so much for Janel though.

  As I was staring out our balcony, I realized that the dance would be a good opportunity to spend time with Josef and in the process apologize for what occurred earlier. Deciding that I should sacrifice my dignity and go up and ask him to join me, I told Janel and Ivy that I was going to get some ice from the ice machine and that I would be back soon. I got onto the elevator and pushed the button for the top floor. I remembered that Gwen always told us that we could not seek Josef out, and if we needed to see him that we were to request it through her or Artie. But I didn't have that time and quite frankly Gwen scared the shit out of me.

  I arrived at the top floor and there was only one room which made it easier for me to figure which room was his! I heard loud music as I knocked on the door. I was looking down at my hands while trying to control my breathing. Anxiously, I stood there for a few moments wondering whether I was making the right choice or if this will simply all blow up in my face.

  When the door opened, I glanced up to find a surprised Josef. He leaned on his left side against the door frame while his right hand was on the back of the door. He looked around the hall before he looked at me again with his mouth slightly open.

  “I guessed that the penthouse was all the way at the top,” I muttered jokingly. My stomach turned into knots over the possibility that he might be angry that I came without going thr
ough Gwen or Artie first.

  Better talk fast. “I just wanted to apologize for what happened at the course. I just....I... I don't do well around guys let alone being touched by one. And you caught me off guard.” I was embarrassed to be so honest with him. But I had to be. There didn't seem to be much sense waving it off and pretending that what happened didn't happen and that I didn't totally spaz out on him.

  He tilted his head lower, “I'm the one that should be apologizing.” I was completely surprised by his response and I was going to say something when he spoke again, “It wasn't appropriate, especially near the others.”

  I smiled at him and nodded as a way to show him that I accepted his apology. Though there was a part of me that was somewhat disappointed. I wanted him to touch me but it wasn't the right moment and I freaked out uncontrollably in return. Not only did I not expect him to apologize but I really didn't want him to at all.

  The corners of his lips slowly raised and his eyes turned mischievous. “You broke the rules by coming up here. There must be something else.”

  Yes, yes there was. I blushed and pulled my hair behind my ears, “I was just wondering if you would like to go to the 1920's themed dance the hotel is holding? I know that it sounds super cheesy but apparently there going to have an actual big band and there will be cocktails all night. Well, of course you would have to compel the waiters not to ask for my ID. You know, because that would be great for you to do that for me and, well...um super nice.” Okay, I have to stop talking!

  His grin expanded and he whispered, “Quinn, are you asking me out on a date?”