His mother didn’t understand much of science, but she always showed interest in his research and even though he was sure she didn’t understand most of what he explained, she always remembered the details and proudly told all of her friends about her genius son.
“I’m working on a new type of mist filter that can be built into the gas masks used by soldiers fighting on the front lines of a war.”
“Haven’t you done that already at the Auer-Gesellschaft?” She seemed surprised.
“Yes, Mother, but the commercial rights to those inventions belong to them, and I want to find a new and better solution that doesn’t infringe on the patents I filed while I was an employee there. Then I can sell the rights to other companies and more persons, soldiers as well as civilians, can profit from an affordable gas mask.” He didn’t mention he would give the rights free of charge to his Russian friends.
“Liebling, do you really think there will be another war? Haven’t we suffered enough in the Great War?”
“I certainly hope there won’t be another war, but that doesn’t stop me from preparing for one.”
They talked a while longer before he stood up and kissed his mother on the cheek. “I have to leave. Take care, Mother.”
Back in Oranienburg, he found a letter from the police on his doorstep and tore it open with trembling fingers. Once he’d read the note, a sigh of relief left his lungs.
The letter stated the investigation against him, alleging espionage, had been closed for lack of evidence. They’d enclosed the confiscated article and even apologized for the inconvenience. At least from this quarter he was free and clear.
***
As autumn approached, Q became increasingly unhappy with his working environment. Working all on his own was fine and well, but not having a well-equipped laboratory was frustrating and hindered his research.
During one of the regular meetings with his friends, Otto said, “You seem unhappy, my friend.”
“It’s just that I’m sick and tired of working from my apartment. I need to get my hands on a fully-equipped laboratory.”
Jakob laughed. “It’s about time, don’t you think?”
“Yes, you need a change of scenery,” Leopold said and added, “I happen to have connections at the Biological Reich Institute for Agriculture and Forestry. Why don’t I make a call and set up a meeting between you and the director?”
Hope fluttered in his chest. “You’d do that?”
“Sure, if you want.”
Q thought for a moment before he replied, “I guess I’m ready to join the ranks of common employees again. I’d love to meet with your acquaintance. You’re sure it’s not a bother?”
“Come on, that’s what friends are for. And with your reputation, they’d be the lucky ones to employ you.”
“They probably have never heard of me…”
Jakob chuckled. “As always, you’re being modest, Q. Berlin is such a small place, I’m sure everyone working in the scientific world has heard of you or read one of your articles. You have such a good standing in the scientific community and your dissertation on nitrous oxide was widely recognized as an important contribution to the advancement of chemistry.”
Q nodded, feeling more light-hearted at the prospect. “Okay. Okay. Thank you, Leopold. Meeting the director of the Biological Reich Institute sounds like a fine idea.”
A few days later, Q met with the director, who unfortunately wasn’t as excited as Q or his friends. “Doctor Quedlin, I have to tell you that the investigation involving you, alleging industrial spying, gives me some pause for concern.”
Q couldn’t hide his surprise. “How did you even come to hear about that? There was no evidence that I had done anything untoward. In fact, the accusations came from a woman who thought herself romantically inclined towards me. When I didn’t return her affection, she fabricated those accusations out of revenge.”
The director raised a brow. “Director Hoffmann from the Auer-Gesellschaft never mentioned that part. As for the accusations being false, do you have anything to back that up?”
Q had come prepared and pulled from his briefcase the letter stating the investigation had been closed for lack of evidence. “That letter is from the court.”
The director read it from top to bottom before handing it back. “You are surely aware of the new political powers at work. I would hate to fall under any suspicion with them. Are you by chance a member of the NSDAP, the Nazi Party?”
Q shook his head. “I am a member of no political party. I’m a scientist and have no interest in politics. Joining a party should be for people who are interested in working in politics.”
“So, it’s true then?” The director squinted his eyes and scrutinized Q’s face.
“What’s true?” Q asked.
“That you don’t like the Nazis?”
For a split-second, Q’s breath hitched in his lungs, but he schooled his face before the director could notice anything but mild surprise in his expression. In the future, he had to be more careful about sharing his true feelings for the Nazis. Because he didn’t want to start a prospective working relation with a lie, he decided to go with a half-truth, hoping to delude the director. “I did not say that, and my not joining the NSDAP is in no way an indication that I do not support them.”
He paused, pondering whether that was enough. The director extended the silence for at least another thirty seconds before he smiled. “Very good, then. I can offer you a position as a freelancer. Would that be acceptable to you?”
Q stood up and shook the director’s hand. “That would be fine.”
On his way home, Q toyed with the idea of joining the Nazi Party as a way of providing better cover for his actions. But his stomach clenched at the mere thought of it. It was one thing to lie by omission, but acting out a lie day in, day out by joining the Nazi Party? No, he wasn’t made for acting and pretending.
Leopold visited him in the evening to ask about the interview. “How did it go?”
“I’m not sure,” Q answered. “He held me to account on the investigation about industrial espionage and wouldn’t employ me because I’m not a member of the Nazi Party. But he offered me a freelancer’s job instead.”
“I understand how you feel. The government has already suggested I give preference to party members for jobs overseeing the research and development area for my company.”
Q pursed his lips and shrugged.
“Look at it this way, being a freelancer is much better than being on staff. You will have more control of your schedule and can travel and do research on your own without permission.”
“And I will have that great big laboratory at my disposal. I haven’t worked with plant care and protection, but I’m excited about this new area of study.”
“I’m sure you’ll do fine.”
“I just hope this new kind of work won’t be used for military purposes. I’m sick and tired of having my inventions used to militarize a country instead of serving the human race and the goal of peace.”
Most of his later work at Auer-Gesellschaft had been geared toward military usage, and his inventions had been exploited for use against other human beings. Like his work with the arsenic compounds and other gases. He’d seen the reports and heard the rumors. Instead of using his discoveries to protect people, they were now being twisted and used to kill via gas attack. It sickened him to know he’d been a part in making those weapons possible.
“Plant protection will keep you out of the military focus,” Leopold said.
“Let’s hope so, by goodness. Because I’m fairly certain Hitler’s ultimate goal is world domination, which will push Germany into another war, even more destructive than the last one. And I don’t want to be part of that!”
Leopold tried to calm down his friend. “Q, you’re so pessimistic. People learned their lessons from the last war and they won’t repeat the past. You just have to trust them. The Great War was the war to end all wars.”
/> Q shook his head. “I’m not so sure about that. Communism is the only form of government able to provide a peaceful co-existence of all nations because the core value of communism is the philosophy that all humans are created equal.”
Leopold laughed at his naïve take on communism. “Where on earth did you get that idea?”
Q frowned. “Decline of the West by Oswald Spengler.”
Leopold merely grinned at him and asked, “So, you’ve never actually read the theories about communism and Marxism?”
“No.”
“Then you should. I think you might be in for a surprise.”
“Why is that?” Q asked, not really paying attention to the discussion anymore. He knew what he knew. Listening to Leopold or reading some books wouldn’t change that.
“Because your idealized version of communism doesn’t exist. It’s not the way you think it is.”
Q shook his head. “I know enough.” In his scientific mind, communism sounded perfect. All humans were created as equals. Everyone working for the best of the community. One for all and all for one. “I don’t need to read about Marxism. Those are just political theories. I have important scientific research to do.”
Leopold raised a brow and shook his head. “You should make time.”
That statement continued to roll around in his head, long after he and Leopold parted ways. Had he gotten it all wrong?
No, not him.
Chapter 15
Spring came to 1934 and things in Germany had slowly deteriorated, but Q had managed to carve out an existence he could live with. At least for the time being.
A few weeks ago, he’d left his flat in Oranienburg with the nosy landlady to move into a slightly bigger two-bedroom flat in the center of Berlin that suited his bachelor needs quite nicely. Partly nostalgic and partly satisfied to turn over a new leaf in his life, he also stopped subletting the room at Jakob’s place.
One evening in April, he and Leopold headed to the moving pictures. With the current political situation creating stress for everyone, they needed a distraction. Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy, commonly referred to as “Dick und Doof” had released a new short film, Going Bye-Bye. Their slapstick comedy was the perfect way to end a week of hard work, at least in Q’s opinion.
Leopold wasn’t as fond of their humor but tagged along because he’d get to choose the next picture. They sat in the dark theater and Q elbowed Leopold several times because he kept quiet during some of the most hilarious scenes. “Come on, this is funny.”
His friend growled. “Somewhat.”
During the first reel, a group of women a few rows in front of them caught his attention because one of them laughed loudly at every punch line, even when everyone else didn’t seem to get it.
Q couldn’t make out which of the three girls it was, but her sense of humor and her unconcerned laughter intrigued him. For some reason, this unknown woman sparked his interest, and he hadn’t actually seen her yet.
This attraction puzzled him. He hadn’t been this intrigued by a woman in – forever. Yes, he’d gone out with a few, but sooner or later, he’d always become bored and preferred to dedicate his time to his research than to a woman. His friends had begun teasing him about how he was married to science and might as well become a Catholic priest. And their teasing had only intensified now that he’d turned thirty-one. All of his friends were happily married or at least engaged at this age.
I don’t need a woman to be happy. She’ll only distract me from my inventions. She’d never understand.
But when he saw the three girls standing in the vast lobby of the theater during the small fifteen-minute break between reels, he couldn’t resist approaching them. The three of them looked like a commercial for German girls: sandy, dark blonde, and brunette. All of them with bright blue eyes, and the sandy blonde wore her hair in traditional pretzel braids.
Then she spoke, and the sound of her soft feminine voice drew him near like a siren. When he finally distinguished her, he had to swallow back a lump in his throat. Oh my god, she’s so beautiful. Her dark blonde hair fell in soft waves around her shoulders and against her neck. She had it tied back with a ribbon, and he wondered if it was as soft as it looked.
His eyes wandered down her body, and he was struck by her appearance. Instead of wearing a dress and stockings like most of the other girls, she clothed herself in a short-sleeved white blouse and long, wide-legged pants. She stood proudly, her back straight and he was reminded of a picture of Marlene Dietrich in a similar pose.
While he’d never seen the actress in person, he admired her for her strong character, the way she always said what she thought, and her audacity in wearing pants suits in public. No woman had ever dared that before. Except maybe for the beauty standing in front of him.
“Good evening, ladies. May we join you for a moment?”
When they nodded in unison, suppressing their giggles, he continued, “I’m Wilhelm Quedlin, but my friends call me Q. This is my friend Leopold Stieber.”
He watched the blonde blush as she introduced herself. “Good evening. I’m Hildegard Dremmer, but my friends call me Hilde. These are my friends Erika and Gertrud.”
While Leopold engaged in small talk with her girlfriends, Q took a step closer to Hilde and complimented her on her choice of attire. “You look like Marlene Dietrich in that outfit.”
She flashed the cutest blush. “You think so?”
“I do. But I like the color of your hair much better.”
“Hmm, thanks,” was all she said.
Q was enthralled with the way Hilde seemed tongue-tied around him. She kept glancing up at him from beneath her long dark lashes, and when she spoke to him, she sounded almost out of breath. He wanted nothing more than to touch her silky hair, but that would, of course, be inappropriate. Instead, he said, “I noticed how much you laughed at Dick und Doof; they’re my favorite actors.”
She blushed a shade darker. “Ahem…yes...was I laughing too loud?”
By any normal standard, her laughter had been way too loud, but he shook his head. “Not at all. I loved it. It’s a rare occasion to hear someone laugh unconcernedly in these days.”
A shadow crossed her face before she nodded. “Times are difficult, aren’t they?”
Q had no intention of going down the sorry road of the overall economic and political situation in Germany and looked for a better topic to discuss when the first bell interrupted his train of thought. They’d have to go inside the theater in a minute, and this was perhaps his only chance. “Would you allow me to invite you for afternoon coffee one day?”
She side-glanced at her friends before answering, “I’d love to.”
Q’s heart jumped, and he smiled at her. “Perfect. How about next Saturday? Three p.m. at the Café Potsdamer Platz?”
Hilde nodded. “Yes.”
Moments later, the bell rang again and the lights dimmed, indicating the second reel was loaded and ready to begin. Q took Hilde’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Until next Saturday, beautiful. I shall meet you at Potsdamer Platz.”
Leopold stood next to him and watched Hilde and her girlfriends disappear inside. “You do realize she’s much too young for an old man like you?”
Q tore his eyes away from the girl who’d conquered him like a whirlwind and looked straight into the face of his friend. “No. She’s just right.”
“Come on, she can’t be much older than twenty.”
“Twenty-two. I asked.” Q grinned at him. “Leopold, congratulate me.”
“On what? Robbing the cradle?”
“No. You’ve just been the first person to meet my future wife.”
Chapter 16
Hilde returned to the moving-picture theater with Erika and Gertrude, but her mind wasn’t on the second half of the film. It was on the handsome stranger who’d just asked her out. Q was tall and slim, and even though his blond hair had been cut very short, she believed it would be curly if left to grow.
His narrow, long face featured a very pronounced chin and dark eyebrows behind his rimless glasses. She actually liked the glasses; they gave him a very intellectual look. And the way he spoke showed he was a man of education. Maybe a teacher? She cursed herself for not asking some questions about him. Like what he did for a living. She’d have to ask more questions when they met again.
Next Saturday! Part of her already longed to see him again, to get to know him better, but another part of her was horribly scared and made plans to balk.
Her heart was still beating faster, and she hoped she hadn’t made a complete fool of herself while he flirted with her. Apparently, he hadn’t been completely deterred by her tongue-tied behavior because he’d asked her out. And she was still shocked that she’d agreed. Haven’t you vowed to never fall in love? This man has the power to hurt you.
After the picture ended, Erika and Gertrud started their inquisition. “I can’t believe you agreed to go out with that man. You don’t even know him,” Erika said while they left the building.
“He’s not exactly the type who’d make the cover of a magazine. And he wears glasses,” Gertrud added.
“The glasses give him a serene and intellectual look. I liked it.” Hilde tried to defend her admirer.
“You can’t be serious. And he was so skinny. He probably doesn’t exercise ever.”
Hilde heard her friends tearing Q apart, but she let their comments flow over her. “What’s wrong with tall and slim? I don’t need a muscle man. I want someone I can look up to. An intelligent man.”
“Where does he work?” Gertrud asked as they rounded the corner.
“Probably a teacher. He has that look about him,” Erika surmised.
“Not at all. He’s not that smart. He’s probably a clerk in a clothing store or something boring like that.”
“How old do you think he is?” Erika asked Gertrud as if Hilde wasn’t present.
“Too old for Hilde to be going out with him.”
Unrelenting: Love and Resistance in Pre-War Germany Page 8
