One-Click Buy: September Harlequin Presents

by Penny Jordan

  ‘Please.’ She gasped. ‘Don’t. I can’t.’

  He reared back, his face fierce. ‘Yes, you can. You’re soaking wet.’

  He cradled her head and took her mouth again. Stamping his claim on her. The tidal wave of desire was so strong she couldn’t hold it back any longer. She trembled, sobbed with need as his thumb pressed against her swollen clitoris and stroked hard until she cried out her release.

  Dazed by the strength of her orgasm, she watched as he pushed her bra up, suckled the engorged nipples. She writhed against him, the fire streaming down to her already aching sex. She heard the hiss of his zipper as he freed himself from his trousers.

  ‘Open your eyes,’ he ordered.

  Her lids fluttered open to see him watching her, his eyes feverish with desire, his face harsh with demand. ‘You’re mine,’ he said, his fingers digging into her hips as he lifted her. ‘You hear me, Kate.’ She was trapped against him, her legs wrapped around his waist. The blunt head of his penis pressed against the folds of her sex. ‘Tell me you want me,’ he said.

  ‘I want you,’ she whispered, her sanity overwhelmed by the need clawing inside her and clamouring for release.

  He thrust inside her. The slickness of her recent climax eased his entry but still it was difficult, painful in its fullness. She sobbed, tried to buck him off, as she felt herself losing that last gossamer thread of control. That last tiny portion of self.

  She shook her head from side to side. Struggled to deny the sexual frenzy, but then he plunged deeper. The brutal pleasure intensified and she gave a moan of defeat.

  ‘Shh,’ he crooned. ‘It’ll be okay in a minute.’ And then he was fully inside her, stretching her unbearably.

  He began to move, the tormenting rhythm bumping the place inside her he knew would trigger her orgasm. It roared through her, forcing her over the edge and dragging her back up. She cried out, breaking into a billion quivering pieces. Ecstasy and agony made one in her quaking body. He shouted out his own release as he emptied inside her.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked softly, his breathing harsh, his penis still thick, still firm inside her.

  She pushed against his shoulders. ‘Let me go.’ The tears misting her eyes, closing her throat, only humiliated her more. She’d let him do it again.

  He pulled out of her in silence. She flinched, her sex tender as it released him. She pushed her bra down, her fingers trembling as she fumbled with her skirt. She willed herself to stop shaking, heard him refastening his trousers.

  He touched her cheek, a tender smile on his lips, but she could see the triumph in his eyes. ‘I’ll get Monty to sort out a new contract when we get back to Vegas.’

  The words hit her like an icy slap. The horrible truth of what she’d done, of what she’d let him do, dawned on her with shocking clarity. Her own body had betrayed her.

  She lurched away from his touch. ‘I won’t sign it. And I’m not going to Vegas with you.’ She scrambled away from him. ‘I’m leaving. I’m leaving now,’ she said frantically as she rushed towards the smaller bedroom.

  ‘Come back here.’ She heard the pained shout but kept on going.

  She slammed the bedroom door shut, shame and heartbreak turning to smothering rage. Suddenly, she was as mad at him as she was with herself. She ignored the loud crash as the door flew open behind her and slapped back against the wall.

  ‘What the hell has gotten into you?’

  She unzipped her case, pulled out a new top, refusing to look at him. ‘Apart from your insatiable penis, you mean?’ The words were crude, ugly, but it was how she felt. He’d used her desire, her love, against her and part of her hated him for it.

  ‘Stop it.’ He ripped the blouse out of her grasp. ‘You came apart in my arms in there and now you’re acting like some outraged virgin.’ His fingers fisted on her arm. ‘What the hell is going on?’

  ‘I’ve fallen in love with you.’ She hurled the words at him. ‘Now do you get it?’ Humiliation turned the shout to a whisper.

  ‘What?’ His fingers released her, the look of shock and confusion on his face made the last of the anger drain away until all that was left was a grinding, lancing pain where her heart should have been.

  ‘I love you. And that means I can’t stay with you. As your PA, as your handy bed companion or as anything else.’ She picked up her blouse, tugged it on, tried to button it with trembling fingers. ‘I saw what it did to my mother. I won’t let it happen to me.’

  ‘For heaven’s sake, Kate.’ His fingers stroked her arm. ‘You’re not making any sense.’

  She looked at him then, saw compassion and it almost undid her. ‘You don’t understand because you don’t know what it’s like. To love someone and have them not love you back.’ She sniffed, wiped her eyes hastily with her fist. For goodness’ sake don’t cry now, not when you’ve finally got up the courage to tell him the truth.

  ‘So your father didn’t love your mother. What has that got to do with us?’ he asked, sounding exasperated.

  ‘She was his mistress, Zack. His kept woman. He paid for her clothes, her food, the house we lived in. She would beg him to marry her, to acknowledge me, but he wasn’t interested, because the only thing he wanted from her was sex. He never wanted her love—and he didn’t want mine either.’

  ‘Damn, Kate. I’m sorry,’ he said. He pushed the curls from her forehead. ‘But I still don’t see what all that’s got to do with—’

  She pressed her fingers to his lips, the hopelessness of the situation tearing her apart. ‘I love you but you don’t love me. Can’t you see? In the end it’s the same thing.’

  ‘But I’m not like him. I’m offering you a good job. I’m not trying to turn you into my mistress.’

  ‘Just answer me one question. Do you need me, Zack? Really need me?’

  His brow furrowed as he dragged his fingers through his hair. She felt her heart splintering. ‘I care about you,’ he said cautiously. ‘I want you—you know that.’

  ‘It’s not enough,’ she said miserably.

  He reached for her but she pulled away.

  ‘You want me but you don’t need me,’ she said. ‘You don’t love me.’ She hugged herself to try and stop the shaking. ‘Every time you touch me, every time you hold me, every time we make love, knowing you don’t will chip away another little piece of my self-confidence, another little piece of my self-respect, until I’ll be just like her. Begging for scraps when I deserve a banquet.’

  ‘Damn it, this is stupid. You’re not seriously going to throw away everything we’ve got for the sake of a few dumb words.’

  She felt her heart shatter. ‘Please leave, Zack. I want to have a shower and get changed—and then I need to arrange things so I can leave.’

  No way was she going anywhere tonight, or any night. But Zack could read the misery on her face and see the goose-bumps on her arms. She was emotionally distraught and she was shivering. He doubted he’d be able to talk any sense into her at the moment—and he didn’t want her catching pneumonia.

  ‘I need to get some dry clothes on myself.’ He nodded towards the bathroom. ‘Have your shower. Then we’ll talk.’

  ‘There’s nothing left to talk about,’ she said wearily.

  They’d see about that, he thought as he walked out of the room. Frustration and panic burning like lava in his gut.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  ‘I’LL SEE YOU in twenty minutes. Yes, that’s right, San Francisco airport.’ Kate put the phone down, heard the annoyed huff from behind her.

  Zack stood in the doorway to their bedroom, his hair still damp from his shower and furrowed into rows. His feet were bare and he wore the T-shirt and faded jeans she remembered from their date in Monterey. The day he’d bought her the necklace. The painful stab of memory was just one of many she would have to endure over the coming weeks.

  He propped his shoulder against the door jamb. ‘You’re not going through with this,’ he said with so little inflection in his vo
ice she wanted to scream at him. It wasn’t a question. It was an order. She bit back the angry words that hovered on her tongue, forced herself to remain calm. Hysterics would only make it worse.

  ‘Yes, I am. I phoned Monty and he said he’d already wired my salary into my credit card account.’

  He looked at her, his eyes giving nothing away.

  ‘I know I haven’t worked the full two weeks,’ she continued, as conversationally as she could manage. ‘So I’ll repay you what I owe you as soon as I get home.’

  He swore viciously. ‘This isn’t about the money or the damn job.’ He didn’t look indifferent any more. ‘You’re not going anywhere.’

  ‘Yes, I am.’

  He walked towards her. She stood her ground.

  ‘We just had sex without a condom. What if you get pregnant?’

  Heat pumped into her cheeks. She hadn’t even considered the possibility. ‘I won’t.’

  ‘You’re forgetting, we’ve been living together for the last week. I know you haven’t had a period and I also know you’re not on the pill. So that won’t wash.’

  ‘So what if I do get pregnant?’ She thrust out her chin, forced her eyes to meet his. ‘It wouldn’t make any difference.’

  He gave a hollow laugh. ‘Think again. I’m not letting you out of my sight while you might be carrying my baby.’

  ‘You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you, Zack?’ She suddenly felt unbearably weary. Could he really understand so little about what she wanted, what she needed? ‘I would never bring a child into the sort of relationship my parents had. I know what that’s like.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘You better not be talking about abortion.’

  She hadn’t been, but it hardly mattered now. ‘This is all hypothetical, anyway. It doesn’t change a thing.’

  She glanced at her watch, struggled to keep her voice even. ‘The cab’s going to be here in fifteen minutes and I wanted to say goodbye to Hal before I go. If you’ll excuse me.’

  She tried to walk past him. He stepped into her path.

  ‘You can’t leave me.’ The anger in his voice surprised her, but more shocking was the anguish swirling in his eyes.

  ‘Please, Zack. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.’

  ‘I don’t want to lose what we have.’

  He cupped her cheek. She jerked away. ‘All we ever really had was great sex. Believe me you can find another playmate.’ The tears she refused to shed clogged her throat. ‘They’ll be lining up round the block once I’m gone.’

  He shook his head slowly. ‘But they won’t be you,’ he said. Was that pain she’d seen in his eyes? Before she could be sure, he turned away, walked towards the terrace. He stopped at the French doors, his back to her, braced his hand against the frame and bowed his head.

  ‘This is so damn hard,’ he muttered.

  He looked tense and defensive, reminding her of how he’d been during their meeting with Hal.

  She stood behind him, her voice shaking. ‘What are you trying to say, Zack?’

  ‘I promised myself when I was eight years old that I’d never let this happen again.’ He was still muttering, his back rigid as he looked out into the storm-shrouded sky. ‘And now it has and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.’

  He sounded so frustrated and so annoyed, but if there was even a slim chance, a slight hope—she let the feeling of anticipation rise like a star in her chest.

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  He shot round, pinned her with his gaze. ‘I’m saying I’m in love with you and it’s all your fault.’

  His fingers fisted on her arms and he held her upright as her knees gave way. He shook her, the emotional battle etched on his face. Her heart thumped so hard she was sure it was about to burst out of her chest. Could he be telling her the truth?

  ‘I was rich beyond my wildest dreams,’ he said, accusation weighing down every word. ‘I didn’t have to live on the turn of the cards any more. I was doing just fine. And then you come along in your bra and thong and ruin everything.’ He sounded so angry. ‘I need you so damn much, it scares me to death,’ he said, his voice even harsher, but the truth shone in his eyes, lighting her from within.

  ‘Welcome to the club,’ she said softly, sniffing back tears of joy. ‘You happen to be the most arrogant, overbearing man I’ve ever met.’ Her breath hitched as a smile curved her lips. ‘And if I could have chosen someone to fall head over heels in love with there’s no way on earth I would have picked you.’

  He yanked her against him, wrapping his arms around her so tightly her breath gushed out. She could feel his heart, pounding sure and steady. She clutched at his back, wanting to mould herself to him.

  Finally he touched his forehead to hers. ‘What the hell are we going to do?’ He sounded more confused than ever.

  ‘We’re going to love each other.’ Wasn’t it obvious?

  He hugged her close, cursed softly. ‘I’m so sorry, Kate.’ The words shuddered out against her hair.

  ‘What for?’

  ‘For being such a damn coward. I didn’t want to love you, didn’t want to admit it, even to myself, because it hurt so much before.’

  She pulled back, took his face in her hands. ‘What do you mean, before?’

  He put his hands over hers, drew them down. ‘They were such good people and he hurt them. I hurt them.’

  ‘It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault.’

  He shook his head. ‘You don’t understand. Hal’s eye was all swollen up, he had blood on his lip. And Mary was crying. I carried that picture in my head for years. I hated JP after that. And I hated myself, too. I went off the rails when he died. Gambling, living in the darkness, taking dumb risks to make an easy buck. Just like he did.’ He sighed. ‘I turned my life around, eventually. Thought I was finally free of him. But I wasn’t.’

  The self-loathing in his voice made her heart bleed for him. ‘Why do you say that?’

  ‘Because I was still living by his philosophy of life. Never be dumb enough to love anyone.’

  ‘You’re not living by that philosophy any more, though, are you?’ she said smugly.

  A wry smile curved his lips. ‘No, I’m not.’ He held her chin in his fingers, stroked his thumb down her cheek. ‘I guess I’ve got a certain lady in her bra and thong to thank for that.’

  ‘Don’t sell yourself short, Zack.’ She hugged him close, her love and commitment even stronger than before, if that were possible. ‘You’ve got you to thank for that.’

  His hands caressed her bottom and she felt the wonderfully predictable swell of his arousal against her belly. ‘And anyway—’ she smiled against his chest, lifted her face to his ‘—those were proper knickers.’

  ‘So you keep saying.’ He pulled her skirt aside, slipped warm fingers under the waistband of her panties.

  She jumped at the intimate contact. ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Just checking,’ he said, chuckling as she melted in his hands.

  EPILOGUE

  ‘HOW’S THE BUMP?’ Zack murmured against the back of Kate’s head.

  ‘The bump’s fine.’ She grinned as broad fingers caressed the slight swell of her belly through the satin of her bridal gown. ‘Now keep your voice down. I don’t want everyone thinking this is a shotgun wedding.’

  Zack gave a wry chuckle as the heat tinted her cheeks. ‘You know, until this morning I never knew you were such a scaredy-pants, Miss Proper Knickers.’

  ‘That’s Mrs Proper Knickers to you,’ she said, loving the feel of him pressed against her back, and feeling too mellow to rise to the bait he’d been dangling since their little disagreement that morning.

  After all, this was her wedding day and it had been picture perfect. She took in the gardens of The Grange, breathtaking in their summer glory, and the specially erected gazebo bedecked with flowers where she and Zack had said their vows only half an hour ago. She smiled at the sight of Monty and Stella,
their live-wire son Joey, Hal and a few other carefully selected guests enjoying champagne and canapés in the bright sunshine while beyond the cliffs the waves crashed onto shore in their timeless, never-ceasing rhythm.

  Not unlike the rhythm of Zack’s heartbeat, which she could sense matching her own in the summer stillness. This place and time had a raw, elemental beauty that she would hold in her heart for ever, much like the man behind her.

  She’d decided to ignore the fact that he wouldn’t stop goading her about her request not to announce the pregnancy yet. Even the thought of it made her blush.

  For goodness’ sake, they’d only been together for three months. She still wasn’t quite over the shock of discovering she was pregnant in the first place. Telling everyone else was too much for her. What if people thought they were only getting married because of the baby? Of course, she’d mentioned all this to Zack this morning. He’d finally agreed to keep the news to himself, for today. But she’d known from the pained look on his face, he was just humouring a pregnant lady—and he was unlikely to let it drop for long.

  His fingers spread out across her abdomen, rubbed the silky fabric. ‘You’re not going to be able to hide it much longer. And I still don’t see what the big deal is anyway.’

  She turned in his embrace, cradled his cheek. Good Lord, he looked gorgeous in the Armani suit he’d worn for the ceremony, especially now he’d taken off his tie and she could see his chest hair where he’d undone the first three buttons of his dress shirt. ‘I know you don’t,’ she said. ‘But for today I want it to be our secret.’

  He frowned. ‘You’re not scared about the baby, are you?’

  ‘Right down to my toes, but I’m excited too,’ she added quickly as she saw his frown deepen. ‘It’s just, the last few months, there’s been so much to take in.’ She’d been floating on a cloud of heart-bursting love, mind-blowing passion and soul-deep contentment and her feet still hadn’t touched the ground. She was beginning to realise they probably never would.