Gabe (Steele Brothers #6)

by Cheryl Douglas

  He reached for my hand, brushing his thumb over my knuckles as his eyes tracked the slow, hypnotic movement. “But Jason made one mistake and it cost him his marriage.”

  I withdrew my hand with a soft gasp. “Jason cheated on me!” I slid my chair back, the scrape against the tile floor grating on my nerves. “If that’s the kind of mistake you fear making, maybe we’d better end this now.”

  I couldn’t imagine Gabe cheating on me, or any woman for that matter, but if that’s what concerned him, maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did.

  He covered his face with his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. “That’s not what I meant. I just…” He seemed to be searching for the right words before giving up and falling back on the bed. “I went to see my father today.”

  I was surprised by the abrupt shift in conversation, but maybe we both needed a break from talking about us. I know I did. I’d been thinking about Gabe and little else during the long drive and I had a dull ache in my head to prove it.

  “How did that go?”

  He kicked his shoes off before edging up on the bed, tucking a pillow under his head as he laid on his side, staring at me. “Surprisingly well.”

  I was glad Gabe seemed closer to making peace with his father. It seemed to have made the world of difference for his brothers, since all of them were finally in happy, committed relationships after years of pushing women away when they got too close.

  “I guess I saw him in a different light today.” He tucked his arms under the pillow, biting his lip. “My whole life I’d been thinking of him as the bastard who hurt my mother.”

  “And now?”

  “Maybe I’m starting to see him as a guy who made a whole lot of mistakes. And invested a lot of time trying to make up for them.”

  “Then you think you can forgive him?”

  “I want to try.”

  I knew that was no small admission for Gabe. “I know forgiveness doesn’t come easily. Believe me, I’ve spent the last eighteen months trying to forgive my cheating husband.” With a rueful smile, I admitted, “I’m getting there. Now I can watch him cross the street without wishing he’d trip and fall on his face.”

  Gabe laughed, breaking the awkwardness that had been simmering between us. “I don’t ever want you to feel that way about me, Kendra. I don’t want you to hate me.”

  “I don’t hate Jason.” How could I? He was the father of my daughter and she was the light in my sometimes dark and dreary life. “And I can’t imagine ever hating you.”

  “You mean you weren’t cursing me all the way here?”

  I kicked my flip flops off with a smile. “I didn’t say that.”

  “Come here,” he said, patting the bed beside him. “Get comfy with me.”

  It was hard to imagine lying on a bed with Gabe without giving in to my baser urges, but I was determined to stand my ground until I was convinced we were on the same page. Last time, I’d fallen in to bed with him and regretted it. No, that wasn’t true. I’d never regret the night we shared. But his kiss-off last night hurt a hell of a lot more because we had made love and I assumed it meant as much to him as it did to me.

  Sensing my hesitancy, he whispered, “Please. I won’t even touch you if you don’t want me to. I just hate feeling like we’re so far apart.”

  I hated that too, and because I did, I took him up on his offer, settling in beside him. I was still wearing my dress. But the halter-style sundress was backless, which meant with one tug of a string I’d be lying next to him in black lace panties. And there was only one place that could lead.

  He rolled over to turn the overhead light off, turning the lamp next to the bed on instead. It cast a soft, warm glow over the room, making it feel even more intimate.

  Rolling back to face me, his voice husky and low, he said, “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  I glanced at him before closing my eyes. “That you’re not an easy man to resist.”

  “But you’re not sure you can trust me after last night.” He rolled on his back with a sigh, his hands linked behind his head.

  I tried to ignore his bulging biceps, his flawless profile. His dark lashes were sweeping over his cheeks, his jaw brushed with a two-day beard that only added to his appeal as he licked his full lips.

  “If it were just me, maybe I wouldn’t be so cautious,” I said, trying to make him understand. “But I had to sit through breakfast with my little girl today, trying not to cry. She’s seen me do that too many times, Gabe. And I won’t put her through it again. I can’t. It’s not fair.”

  “What can I do to convince you I’m really ready this time?”

  Those two little words, I’m ready, made my belly quiver. But there was still a nagging voice in the back of my head that reminded me he’d said that before and tried to bail.

  “I don’t know.” I didn’t even know if I was willing to open my heart to him again. I’d spent the entire drive convincing myself it was better to end it now before he caused me irreparable damage… because I had a feeling Gabe could hurt me more than Jason ever had.

  “Will you give me the next few days to try and convince you?” he asked, rolling back to his side to face me. “Just give me that. Please.”

  Four days and nights with Gabe could break me if I realized I had to say good-bye at the end of it. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

  “Aren’t you the one who’s been lecturing me about taking chances for the past eighteen months?”

  He had me there. “I did take a chance on you, remember?”

  He winced. “Point taken, but can’t I get one more chance?”

  One more chance to break my heart. Was I crazy for even considering it? “Let me sleep on it.”

  ***

  I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off in my purse. I was confused and disoriented as I tried to make sense of where I was. We were both still fully clothed under the covers, but my body was wrapped around Gabe, my head substituting his chest for a pillow, my hair tangled around his hand, making it impossible for me to move without waking him.

  “Morning,” he whispered, his voice sounding gruff and sexy, making my whole body tingle with awareness. “You need to get up now?”

  “Um, I’ve got a few minutes. But I should turn that off.”

  “I’ll get your purse for you,” he said, disentangling from my hair before throwing his long legs over the edge of the bed. He rubbed a hand over his face before scratching the scruff on his jaw.

  “You still tired?” I asked, trying to ignore how adorable he looked when he was sleep-rumpled.

  “No, I’m okay.” He reached for my purse, passing it to me. “You have time for breakfast before you have to head out?”

  “Maybe room service,” I said, grimacing when I realized I’d fallen asleep with make-up on and probably looked like a racoon on the prowl. “But I should grab a shower first.”

  “Go ahead. I’ll order while you’re in there. What do you feel like?”

  You. “Surprise me.” I smiled when he reached for my hand, kissing it.

  “Give any more thought to what I said last night?” he asked, his eyes trained on mine.

  “Um, I need some caffeine before I can have this conversation.” And maybe a shot of chocolate.

  He passed me the room service menu from the writing desk by the main door. “You sure you don’t want to decide for yourself?”

  When he was looking at me like that, my only thought was how long it would take to get him out of his clothes, but I feigned interest in the menu, finally deciding. “How about French toast.”

  “You got it.” He winked. “Let me slip into the bathroom for a sec, then it’s all yours.”

  All yours. Those two little words echoed in my mind as I watched Gabe close the door. Could he ever really be all mine or was I setting myself up for more disappointment, like I had with Jason?

  ***

  We’d kept the discussion casual over breakfast, talking a
bout sports, the weather, my seminar, his work, and his plans for the day before he finally said, “You’re letting me stay here with you. I’m going to assume that’s a good sign.”

  I checked my watch, noting I had another fifteen minutes before I had to head downstairs to the conference room where the training seminar was being held.

  “We need to be sure this time,” I said, thinking about how my little girl would take the news that there was a new man in my life. “I can’t put Char through any more turmoil.” I wiped my mouth with a paper napkin as he topped up my coffee.

  “I know we talked about keeping it from her for a while,” he said, sounding hesitant. “And I was thinking about that all the way here. Maybe that’s not the best approach.”

  “Why not?” As a responsible mother, I refused to allow her to get attached to someone who may not be around next year.

  “Makes it seem like we’re still hedging our bets. That’s not what we’re doing, is it?”

  Ironic that sometime over the last forty-eight hours, he’d done a complete one-eighty and was now the one pushing for more of a commitment than I felt willing or able to give. “We’re being cautious.” I sat back with a sigh, my coffee mug between my hands. “Not because I’m not crazy about you. I am.”

  He shook his head in confusion, running a hand over his creased white T-shirt. “That makes no sense.”

  “It makes perfect sense if you’re a single mom with a heartbroken little girl who needs a daddy.”

  I’d never expect any man to replace Jason, but I hoped the day would come when I would have a live-in partner again, someone who cared about Char almost as much as I did. As much as I hoped it would be Gabe, I still wasn’t sure he was up for that responsibility.

  “I hear what you’re saying. I do…”

  “But?”

  “I don’t want to go on pretending that we’re just friends for Char’s benefit. I don’t think that’s fair to her or to us. Do you?”

  “You’re asking a lot of me.” I set my mug down, crossing my arms as I realized my body language now reflected how vulnerable and defensive I was feeling. “Yesterday, I thought you’d written me off. Now you’re asking me to tell my daughter that we’re a couple. How am I supposed to do that without knowing whether you’ll change your mind again tomorrow?”

  He leaned in, reaching for my hand. “Obviously, I can’t understand your perspective. I’ve never been a parent. But I know how much you love your daughter. I know you’d never do anything to hurt her. But I need you to trust that I wouldn’t either.”

  He wasn’t just asking me to trust him with my heart. He was asking me to trust him with Char’s heart too, which I knew was even more tender and fragile than mine. “I have to get downstairs now.” In truth, I had a few more minutes to spare, but I needed some time to get my head in the game before I had to slip my professional mask in place.

  Gabe grabbed my hands, tugging me to my feet. He dropped a soft kiss on my lips, his strong arms wrapping around my waist as I tilted my head back. “You know I’m not going anywhere, right?”

  I rested my head on his shoulder, wishing I could believe in men as easily as I once had. But my experience with Jason had changed me. It had made me more jaded and cynical than I used to be and I hated that.

  “In other words, it’s going to take a long time before you really believe that, huh?”

  I groaned, wishing I could give him the words he wanted to hear. “I think it might be best if we just take things slow for now.” If he’d asked for more before his little speech, I wouldn’t have been so hesitant. But a man who considered ending our relationship even before it began wasn’t someone I could afford to trust completely… yet.

  Chapter Twelve

  Gabe

  After cruising the city the better part of the day, I made dinner reservations and slipped into a boutique to buy Kendra a dress I saw in the window. I knew she made sure her daughter never did without, which meant there wasn’t a lot of money left for her to spoil herself, and if I’d ever met a woman who deserved to be spoiled, it was her.

  “Would you like me to gift wrap that for you, sir?” the clerk asked, handing back my credit card.

  “Um, sure, that’d be great.” I had another hour before Kendra’s seminar ended, so I pointed to the café across the street. “I’m just going to grab a coffee. I’ll be back in a few if that’s okay?”

  “Of course, take your time.”

  I was settling into a small table by the window when my phone rang. Brody’s name flashed across the screen and I quickly answered before it could disturb the sleeping baby in the stroller next to me. Her young mother shot me a grateful smile when I answered in a hushed tone.

  “Where are you?” Brody asked, sounding confused. “I just passed by your house and your neighbor said you went out of town for a few days. What’s up?”

  When the table next to mine freed up, I shifted down so the new mom could enjoy some peace and much-needed quiet. But my eyes remained on the sleeping infant as I imagined how great it would be to have one of my own with someone like… Kendra. Hell, who was I kidding? I couldn’t imagine wanting to start a family with anyone else.

  “Uh, Kendra had to head out of town for a few days. She had a work thing, so I decided to tag along.” My brother didn’t have to know I’d followed her, rather than being invited. “Why? Everything okay on the home front?”

  “Yeah, everything’s good. But I talked to Jack. He said you stopped by to see him. What was that about?”

  Brody knew I still has issues with our father, so I wasn’t surprised by the question. “Nothing stays a secret in this family for long, does it?” I muttered, peeling back my plastic lid.

  “What are you saying? You didn’t want me to know you reached out to Jack?”

  “No, it doesn’t matter to me that you know. I just…” Even though I felt better about Jack after our talk, I still wasn’t ready to forgive and forget the way Brody had. “I’m trying, okay? I’m trying with him. And for now that’s going to have to be enough for you.”

  “Hey, no pressure, man. That’s not what this call was about.”

  “Good, ’cause more pressure in my life is the last thing I need right now.” I winced when I realized I’d just opened up a new line of questioning. No way was my brother going to let that one go.

  “Is it work?”

  “No, work’s good.” Except for the Jason situation, which I thankfully didn’t have to think about for a few more days.

  “Then it must be Kendra. What happened? You guys seemed solid at the barbeque.”

  “I did something stupid.”

  Brody chuckled. “Why am I not surprised? You are a Steele, after all. We have a knack for messing things up with our women, don’t we?”

  “After we left Kane’s place, I told Kendra that I didn’t think I could do the whole relationship thing.”

  Brody was silent for a second before he sighed. “What the hell were you thinking? I’ve never seen you happier than you are with that girl, Gabe.”

  “I know, but—”

  “But you’d rather be alone and miserable than take a chance on a woman who could give you everything you’ve ever wanted?”

  “You mean like you did with Riley? Who the hell are you to give me a hard time? You pushed Riley away for years before you finally pulled your head out of your ass.” I didn’t appreciate being kicked when I was down, especially by my own brother, who’d been every bit as I stupid as I was before he finally figured things out.

  “Okay, okay, you’re right. But you and Kendra, that’s the real deal. Anyone can see that.”

  I stared out the window, wondering if Kendra had been thinking about me as much as I’d been thinking about her today. “It’s not as easy as you make it sound, you know. We both have our issues. Jason did a number on Kendra, and—”

  “Dad did a number on you.”

  Dad. I’d never had a dad. I convinced myself I didn’t need one, but was I
wrong? Could having Jack in my life enrich it? “You really think he’s changed, huh?”

  “Yeah, I do. I’ve spent a lot of time with him since he moved here and he’s a good guy. The kind of man I’d want as a grandfather for my kids, for sure, and you know I don’t say that lightly.”

  “Your kids?” I chuckled. “Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself?”

  “No.”

  My eyes drifted back to the sleeping baby in the stroller. Her dark eyelashes fanning her chubby cheeks, her sweet little bow mouth puckering, and something twisted painfully in my gut. “You mean you and Riley are expecting?”

  “Yeah, can you believe it?”

  A slow smile spread across my face as I imagined my big brother becoming a dad. “I sure can. Congrats, buddy. Riley’s gotta be stoked.”

  “She’s already picking out colors for the nursery.” Brody laughed. “You know Riley, she’s a planner.”

  “I’m really happy for you guys.” I swallowed, wondering if I’d ever have what they’d found: the security of knowing someone loved me and would always have my back. “How long do I have to wait to meet my little niece or nephew?”

  “Six more months, but I gotta tell you, it can’t come soon enough for me. I can’t wait to be a dad, Gabe. I feel like I’ve been waiting a hell of a long time for this.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean.” And suddenly I did. Even though I’d always repressed those goals, I knew my life wouldn’t be complete until I had a family of my own with the woman I loved.

  “Does that mean you can see a future with Kendra?”

  “Yeah, I can.” I thought about the conversation we’d had that morning and the hurdles we still had to overcome. “But we’re a long way from taking that walk down the aisle. After Kendra’s last experience with marriage, I’m not so sure she’d be ready to take the plunge any time soon.”