When he and Rebecca were alone, Jacob sighed. “I am sorry for the way she spoke to you. There is no excuse.”
“Oh, I think there might be,” she replied. “Jacob, I meant what I said. I approached Lilly uninvited, started walking by her side even though I knew I was making her uncomfortable, and then proceeded to badger her with questions without even asking if she’d mind me talking to her. The poor girl was just trying to walk to the store.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but her behavior ain’t your fault. Lilly needs to learn that she can’t take out her hurt on everyone else.” After a second’s pause, he said, “She also needs to remember that she isn’t the only person who has lost a loved one recently.”
As she noticed a new thread of pain cross his features, Rebecca realized that she had forgotten that he’d lost a brother. “I am sorry about that.”
“No need to feel sorry for me. I’m okay.”
For the first time since she met him, she realized that he looked vulnerable. It was a bit incongruous; he was tall and well-built. He looked strong and healthy. Capable of tackling any task put in front of him. But maybe he needed a friend as much as his niece did. “If you ever want to talk about things . . .” she began, before turning silent. What was she doing? Offering to counsel him like she had tried to do with Lilly? “Never mind.”
His green eyes sharpened. “Rebecca, what were you going to say?”
He’d gentled his tone. To her embarrassment, she felt herself responding to him in much the same way she had during their first meeting. “Oh, well . . . it was nothing,” she stumbled.
“I’d still like to hear it. Please.”
Please. That little word, combined with his intent gaze? Well, it was enough to make her flush.
Embarrassed by her reaction, she looked down at her blue dress and realized that she’d managed to get some chalk smudged on her sleeve. She rubbed at the mark in order to gain a few seconds’ time. “I was just gonna say that I am pretty good at listening, if you ever need an ear.”
His gaze warmed. “Danke.”
“You’re welcome.” She smiled . . . and there went her dimple.
Still staring at her intently, he swallowed. “About Lilly. I’ll, ah, talk to her more this evening. I’m sure she’ll be offering you a better apology soon.”
“Jacob, please don’t.” Taking a chance, she said, “Actually, I think her getting upset with me might have done some good.”
“Do you really think so? How?”
“Because she was telling me about herself and how she’s feeling. Instead of keeping everything in, she was sharing. That’s part of the grieving process.”
He nodded slowly. “Perhaps you are right. Like I said, I’ve been grieving, myself. However, I hardly ever talk about my brother. It hurts too bad.”
“It’s all part of it, I think.” After debating a moment, she decided to share. “Like I was telling Lilly, my father died recently, too. I’m one of four siblings and even though we’re all adults, we’ve been having quite a time recovering from the loss. One of my brothers was really angry, too.”
“I am sorry for your loss, too.”
Taking another chance, she said, “How are you doing in Charm, Jacob? Are you settling in?”
He dropped his head, looking down at his work boots, which were coated with mud. After he took a moment, he looked up at her again. “Truth be told, I think I’m doing about as badly as my niece.”
Her heart went out to him.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “Why are things going so badly? I thought you were living with your parents.”
“I am.” He glanced around, looking as if he wanted to speak precisely. “I love my parents and I get along with them fine.” He paused. “Well, as well as any grown man would who hasn’t lived in the same house as his parents for years.”
She smiled. “I bet that has been an adjustment.”
“You have no idea,” he said with a smirk. “But unlike the rest of the family, I have no experience farming or of living outside Florida. My parents were raised here, moved to Pinecraft when my brother and I were mere babes, then moved back soon after Lilly was born. For the first five years they were here, Marc worked the farm by my father’s side. Then, when Lilly got old enough for school, they moved to Annie’s parents’ farm over in Berlin.”
She was finally beginning to understand his past. “So that is why Lilly is comfortable with farming but new to Charm.”
“Jah. When Marc and Anne died, Lilly was kind of left in a bad spot. Anne’s parents are about ten years older than mine. They didn’t want to raise a thirteen-year-old.”
“Which is why you came here.”
He nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, Rebecca. I want to be here. I want to raise Lilly. I love her. I want to help my parents, too. But I’m currently an exceptionally poor farmer and an even poorer substitute father.” Looking just beyond her, he muttered, “I thought it would be easier.”
She couldn’t help but smile. His honesty was refreshing. “I am sorry about that.”
He looked surprised at her expression. “What did I say that was amusing?”
“Nothing. I just couldn’t help but compare your situation to mine. I’m trying to be a teacher but I’m not very good at it. Most of the time when I’m there, I watch the clock and look forward to when I can leave,” she commented as they started to walk.
“Uh-oh.” He grinned, and some of that same admiration she saw earlier in his eyes appeared again.
She wasn’t the only person feeling that attraction between them.
She hoped she wasn’t blushing again. “Uh-oh is right. Basically, I keep wondering why I am even trying.”
“Lilly said you’ve been there a lot.”
Rebecca wondered how he knew about that. Was Lilly sharing more or had Jacob been asking about her? “I have. I just wish my time there was easier.”
“If it’s so hard and it’s making you so uncomfortable, why are you doing it? I mean, do you ever wonder why you are trying to do something over and over that you can’t seem to figure out?”
“All the time. But there’s something inside me that is afraid to give up. Teaching has been a dream of mine for years. I’ve always pushed it aside and put my family and the lumber mill first. I don’t want to look back on this time in my life and wonder if I should have tried harder.”
“I’m doing the same thing. I don’t want to give up.”
“Are your parents helping you?”
“Yep. They say I’m being too hard on myself. They say that farming is as much about luck as it is about experience.”
“I’m fortunate in the fact that I have an understanding older brother. Lukas is now a big believer in following one’s heart. He understands that each day is a gift.”
“Now?” He glanced her way. “Is that because of the mill accident?”
“Maybe. It might also be that he and Darla Kurtz recently got married. They had quite a few obstacles between them but they followed their hearts instead of letting their fears guide them.”
He chuckled. “Even I have heard about their sudden romance. He proposed at the post office, didn’t he?”
She grinned. “Indeed, he did. Rumor has it that he locked the door and wouldn’t let her leave until she said yes.”
“That’s just a rumor, is it?”
“That’s what some say,” she teased. With some surprise, she realized that they were standing right in front of the lumber mill’s entrance. “It looks like you walked me all the way to work. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. Our conversation helped me a lot. Thanks for listening to me whine.”
“I’ve done my share of whining from time to time and can promise you that you were not whining. There’s nothing wrong with being honest.”
“I guess not. Well, I’ll let you get to work. You put in some long days.”
“I do, but it’s worth it. I want to spend time at Charm Amish School and follow my drea
m, if only for a little while.”
Jacob glanced toward the store. Through the big plate-glass windows across the street, he could see that Lilly was at the checkout counter. “It looks like Lilly found my mamm’s apples without a problem. I’ll be seeing you soon.”
“Yes. And don’t worry. People tell me farming is a grueling job, even for the most experienced farmer.”
“Thanks for that,” he said with a sarcastic smile.
He had just turned to leave when the door to the mill opened and Lukas came out. “Jacob, wait,” Rebecca called. When he turned, she held out a hand toward her brother. “This is Lukas. Lukas, this is Jacob Yoder. He just moved here from Florida.”
Lukas held out his hand. “Good to meet you. What brought you to Charm?”
“My brother recently passed on to Heaven. I’m currently attempting to farm my family’s land.”
Lukas’s brows rose. “Sounds like there’s a story there. Are the farming methods in Ohio much different from down in Florida?”
He grimaced. “Let’s just say that I’m not too good at farming in either state. I worked in construction in Sarasota.”
Lukas smiled. “I’ve often been glad that God decided that I was born into a lumber mill family and not a farming one. If you ever decide that farming ain’t for you, let me know. We hire a lot of construction workers.”
“Danke.”
After they said good-bye again, Rebecca smiled. “Thanks for saying that.”
“You’re welcome, but I don’t know what I did.”
“Saying Jacob could come to you for a job if he needed one.”
“I meant what I said. Construction workers are a natural fit for the mill. They are used to working with the materials and have a lot of knowledge about what works and doesn’t.” He frowned. “I hope he didn’t take my offer as a sign that I didn’t think he should farm, though.”
She shook her head. “I think he was relieved to know that he had options. I’ll tell you his story later, but suffice it to say that he’s got his hands full.”
Looking at her fondly, he nodded. “I think we all do.” Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he said, “I’m going to head on out of here.”
“You’re going home?”
“Nope. I’m actually off to the Kurtz farm. Darla spent most of the day over there with Aaron and Patsy trying to get a handle on things.”
“Has anything new happened?” Rebecca knew that Darla’s siblings weighed heavy on her mind. Shortly after their father died in the fire at the mill, several people in town had laid all the blame on his shoulders.
Darla ended up working at the post office, in an attempt to stay so busy she had no time to dwell on her pain. Her brother Aaron had let his temper get the best of him. He was currently getting counseling from one of the preachers and concentrating on making amends.
On top of all that, their mother had abandoned them. Her grief, combined with the verbal abuse from people like Mary Troyer, had gotten to be too much for her, and she had simply taken off. She’d left a note saying that she needed a break from all of the demands of her life.
Of course, her abandonment had hit all the Kurtz siblings hard, most especially the youngest girls, Maisie and Gretel. Darla was trying her best. It was only because of Patsy’s and Aaron’s insistence that they wanted her to be happy that she’d agreed to marry Lukas recently.
“Nothing new has happened. It’s just a lot for everyone to deal with,” Lukas said.
“How’s Aaron doing? Has he been able to work on his temper? Is he getting along with Hope?”
“I think he’s doing okay. He seems like a new man, praise God.” With a smile, he added, “Actually, he and Hope are doing much better. From what Darla tells me, he also seems to be mending his relationship with his other siblings. He and Darla are helping each other a lot. He’s also glad to be farming. Unlike your new friend Jacob, I hear he’s a natural farmer.”
“Let me know if I can help in any way.”
“You already do enough.” Rocking back on his heels, he looked a bit shamefaced. “Sorry, but I left you a long list of things to do. I think Mercy left you some questions, too.”
“Sounds like I better get inside and get busy.”
“Becky, listen . . . everything doesn’t have to get done today.”
“I’ll do as much as I can. Don’t worry.”
“Work until six, then come home, all right?”
“I can do that.”
“See you tonight,” he said before walking quickly down the sidewalk.
Rebecca watched him, his shoulders strong and proud. She couldn’t help but compare him to Jacob. Where Lukas had light hair, cut short, and the faint beginnings of a beard, Jacob had Lilly’s striking green eyes and dark brown hair. Jacob wasn’t quite as tall and thickly muscled as Lukas, either. However, he was just as fit-looking. He was also clearly as devoted to his family as Lukas was.
And because of that, Rebecca knew she was intrigued by him. How many men would pick up their whole lives and make a go of it for a niece? Not many, she decided. While some men might even agree to raise their niece, they would have asked for the girl to join them, not the other way around.
What he was doing was really a wonderful thing.
Closing her eyes, she said a brief prayer for both of those men. For them both to find the strength they needed to help those who needed them to be strong.
And then, because she knew the Lord was always with her, she asked Him to give her a little bit of strength, too. She was going to need His help if she was going to tackle the mess that Mercy had no doubt left her.
Feeling better already, she opened the main door at last, felt the cool burst of air conditioning on her skin, and strode inside.
She was now ready to get to work and do her part for her family. At least she knew she was good at this job.
Chapter 8
Wednesday, August 26
Even if Rachel’s head wasn’t exactly coming to terms with her pregnancy, her body surely was! She’d woken up nauseated for the last three days. She’d also been nauseated after dinner, after supper, and before she went to sleep. Her skin felt extra sensitive and she was tired, too.
That evening, after she’d gotten home from school, she’d chopped carrots, celery, and onions, put them in a pot with some chicken bouillon and water, and set it on the stove to boil. Now all she had to do was take out the dish of fresh chicken, cut it up, and add it to the broth so she could make chicken and dumplings for Marcus.
Unfortunately, even thinking about that raw chicken made her stomach turn to knots.
She took a seat on her favorite kitchen chair and tried to summon some of her mother’s strength. She had carried five kinner. Surely Rachel could handle this first pregnancy!
She would handle it, too. In another minute or so. First, though, she needed to put her feet up and take a rest. Her students had been especially rambunctious today.
“Rachel?” Marcus called out. “Rachel, what in the world?”
She opened bleary eyes. Then, as reality set in, she scrambled to her feet guiltily. “Oh, Marcus. I’m sorry. I must have fallen asleep.”
“With a pot on the stove, too.”
Racing to the stove, she looked at the pot of vegetables. They didn’t look too overcooked. Relief coursed through her. She must have been asleep for only a few minutes. “I’ll get the chicken on.”
“I’ll take care of the chicken. You go sit back down.”
Because she really, really didn’t want to handle that icky wet chicken, she did as he bid. And sure enough, the moment he started cutting it up, her stomach rolled. With a groan and a cough, she rushed to the bathroom.
Two minutes later, Marcus found her sitting on the floor, her head resting against the cool tile wall. Before she knew what he was about, he slid down beside her, a warm washcloth in his hand. “Rachel, you are mighty sick.”
“It’s simply morning sickness.”
“At five in th
e evening?” he asked as he handed her the washcloth.
After pressing the warm cloth against her mouth and cheeks, she tried to joke. “Mamm said bopplis don’t know the difference between morning and evening.”
“I guess not.” After helping her to her feet, he walked her to their bed. “Come lie down.”
“I don’t have time for that. I need to make you supper.”
“The chicken is cooking. I’m thinking it might be best if you stay out of the kitchen for a bit.”
“You might be right.” She did still feel a bit queasy.
He sat on the bed and took her hand. “Rachel, you being so tired and sick ain’t good. Maybe we should take you to the doctor.”
“Agnes says this is normal.”
He frowned. “Agnes is as old as the hills.”
“She’s not that old. Plus, she knows a lot more about being pregnant than I do. We need to trust her.”
“I haven’t wanted to say anything, but I don’t want her delivering our baby.”
“Why not?”
“She’s got to be seventy years old.”
“That may be, but she still is capable. She delivered me and probably you, too.”
“I don’t know about that. Even if she did, she delivered us years ago. I think we need to go to someone else.”
“Who?” Sure her husband wasn’t thinking straight, Rachel added, “She’s the midwife, Marcus.”
“She’s not the only option. I want you to go to a real obstetrician who delivers babies at the hospital.”
“But I want to have my baby here at home. Just like my mother did.”
“It’s safer to be in the hospital.”
“My mother did just fine.” Though it was a struggle, she attempted to lighten the tension between them. “I am fine, too.”
“That’s not the point. We need to be prepared in case something goes wrong.” His voice was strong and deep as he continued, oblivious to the look of dismay that was written on her face.
“But I am healthy. Nothing is going to go awry.” Since he didn’t look so sure, she added, “You know what, I’ll ask my mother to be in the room, too.”
“My mind is made up, Rachel. This is for the best. For both you and the baby.” Before she could get in another word, he continued. “While we’re talkin’ about the future, I think you need to quit your job, too.”
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