For Better, For Worse

by June Francis

  Some of her guests seated themselves at the table, while others stood, and Grace handed round plates and told them to help themselves to more food. Ben had saved a chair for her next to him, and once everyone had some food, Grace poured tea into their best china teacups, which were decorated with dark red roses and had belonged to her mother.

  ‘Good spread,’ Ben said. ‘You must have really worked hard.’

  ‘It’s a special occasion,’ Grace responded.

  ‘Our wedding will be more special, but I wouldn’t expect you to prepare the wedding breakfast or make the cake,’ he said with a smile.

  ‘I’ll ask Milly for the name of her caterers, although I suppose ours will be a smaller affair as neither of us have a big family like her and Jimmy.’

  Ben agreed, ‘Just some friends and those of your relatives who are here. Where shall we have the wedding breakfast?’

  ‘We can’t afford to hire a hall,’ she said.

  He agreed, adding that the Co-op hall and the Tudor Rooms would be too large and expensive.

  ‘I’d suggest the church hall,’ said Grace. ‘But being so close to Christmas, it’s probably going to be used for a party for one of the organisations or refreshments after a carol service.’ She paused. ‘I’ll ask Milly and see if she can come up with any ideas.’

  She turned away and began to talk to Beryl about her and Davy’s wedding plans. As she did so her uncle said, ‘Nice food, Grace. The scones are deliciously light.’

  She smiled and said, ‘That’s thanks to Aunt Polly, she taught me.’

  Polly smiled across the table at Grace. ‘You were a good pupil.’

  It was not until her aunt, uncle and cousins were leaving that Polly asked who Grace was having for her bridesmaids. It was a question that Grace had been dreading, and in a voice as calm as she could make it, she replied, ‘No bridesmaids, only a matron of honour, my best friend, Milly.’

  Her aunt looked as if she had sucked a lemon, but she managed to refrain from voicing her feeling, and simply said, ‘Goodnight and thanks for the lovely tea.’

  Grace stood on the doorstep, waving until they were out of sight, then she closed the door, rested her back against it and sighed with relief before hurrying into the kitchen and putting on the kettle.

  ‘Anyone for cocoa?’ she asked.

  Ben and Simon were clearing the plates away, but they each put up a hand. Her father had lit his pipe, but he took it out of his mouth and said, ‘You sit down, lass, and relax. I’ll make the cocoa. I must admit that went off better than I thought it would.’

  ‘Everything got eaten,’ Simon said forlornly.

  ‘Not everything,’ said Grace, going over to the sideboard and taking out an old biscuit tin. She removed the lid and revealed various goodies she had set aside. ‘I thought we’d want something to eat with our cocoa.’

  The three men grinned and blew her kisses.

  Chapter 13

  Liverpool: December 1934

  Grace gazed about the room; Milly and Jimmy’s friend, Kyle Anderson, had obtained permission from the Seaman’s Orphanage for Grace and Ben to use it for their wedding breakfast. Kyle did voluntary work for the orphanage and had paid the hire fee as a wedding present for the couple. The room was just right for their fourteen guests. Ben had considered the gift too much, so had offered his carpentry skills for any future work that the orphanage might need during the coming year.

  The last month or so had passed so quickly, and the wedding was in just three days’ time. Grace turned to Mrs Audrey Turner, who was in charge of the caterers recommended by Milly, and checked again if there was anything else she needed to do before the big day.

  ‘What about flower arrangements for the tables?’ asked Audrey. ‘The tableware, food and wedding cake are all organised, but at this time of year there isn’t much in the way of flowers for decoration.’

  Grace thought about the Christmas Fayre she had been to a few weeks ago in the church hall and remembered the stall with Christmas arrangements created by a couple of the church flower arrangers.

  ‘I’ll see what I can do,’ she said, thinking to ask the vicar for the addresses of the flower arrangers. She knew their names because she had spoken to them about the wedding flowers in the church.

  Grace and Audrey left the orphanage and went their separate ways after arranging to meet the day before the wedding. As she felt the damp kisses of a flurry of sleet on her cheek, Grace prayed for a dry day on the 16th December. When she arrived home, it was to find her father inspecting his suit for the wedding; they had chosen it together from the fifty-shilling tailors. Brand new and of good quality, an extra pair of trousers were given free.

  She hoped he would not wear them just for best because she wanted him to get his money’s worth out of them. When the results had come back from the hospital last month, they had not been welcome. Norman did have cancer, and a large part of the prostate had been cut away, but one good thing was that an X-ray seemed to show that the cancer had not spread beyond the prostate. The specialist had suggested radium treatment as a small infected area was still there, as it had been difficult to get at during the operation. Norman’s treatment would begin in a month’s time. Happily, he was grateful for what had been done for him and for the further treatment that was planned, despite there being some side effects after the operation, with others likely to come. There was the possibility of him having a few days convalescent in a rest home in Colwyn Bay on the coast of North Wales in a fortnight’s time paid for by the Seamen’s Mission, after Grace and Ben returned from a two-day honeymoon in Southport.

  Grace thought how fortunate that her father had been thrifty over the years and he had also paid into the seamen’s union scheme that helped pay for medical bills. As for the wedding, Ben had savings and Grace’s boss gave her a bonus when she finished work and she also had money in her post office savings account. Her uncle Douglas gave her a postal order for twenty pounds.

  ‘At least I’ve been given more time,’ Norman said. ‘A hundred years or so ago I’d have been a gonner by now.’

  ‘Isn’t medical science marvellous,’ said Grace, giving him a hug. ‘Could be in another hundred years all cancers will be treatable.’

  After urging Norman to take it easy, as he was still recovering from his operation, they had a cup of tea together, and then Grace said that she had to go out again to see some ladies about flower arrangements.

  * * *

  That evening Ben and Simon called, and not for the first time, the two men and Grace discussed what Norman and Grace wanted to take with them to their new home and what they wanted to sell. Ben planned to move some of his furniture out too to make room for that of his future wife and father-in-law. He had decided to get rid of his double bed and buy a new one for starters. It was all go, but fortunately Ben had the use of his work’s truck to move bulky items for when the households came together.

  Grace would have enjoyed shopping for new bedding, but Milly reminded her that it was possible she and Ben might receive bedding as a wedding present, so best to wait and see. When Grace mentioned to Milly that she was feeling apprehensive about her wedding night, and sharing a double bed with a man for the first time, Milly told her that was natural to feel like that, and that it was extremely pleasant snuggling up with the man she loved on a cold night.

  ‘But surely there’s more to it than simply snuggling up?’ said Grace, quite liking the thought of snuggling up in Ben’s arms. Was it possible that it was love she felt towards him?

  ‘Of course! Where do you think babies come from?’ Milly went over to her sideboard and riffled in a drawer and removed two books. ‘Read these as soon as you can.’

  Grace gazed down at the front covers of the books and saw that the authoress was a Marie Stopes and the books were called Married Love and The Human Body.

  ‘She’s written more books – they are a tremendous help for women on subjects that have been taboo for our mothers and grandmothers. Even
if your mother had not died, she might not have been much help to you, but Marie explains it all.’

  Grace said, ‘I can’t wait to get reading.’

  Milly said, ‘If you don’t understand anything and need help with it, ask me. There are things that could shock you, but if you remember Almighty God made us the way we are and for a purpose, you’ll feel better about it.’

  Grace felt a bit odd when she heard that but thanked her anyway. She turned over several pages of The Human Body. Her eyes widened, and she decided she would be best reading the books in the privacy of her own bedroom. She realised she was unlikely to get through both books before the wedding, but she maybe could do so while Ben was at work after they were married, as she was uncertain how he would feel about her reading books like these.

  That night she read parts of the first book and skipped through the second. There were words she just did not understand and decided to ask Milly about them when she came to help her dress for the wedding. A shiver ran through her, just thinking that in a couple more days she would be married and most likely in bed with Ben in a hotel in Southport.

  When she could not keep her eyes open any longer, she placed the books under the bedclothes and tried to sleep, but she found it difficult, as her mind was too active. It was the same the following night, but eventually she managed to drift off and woke to find Milly at her bedside with a cup of tea and a couple of slices of buttered toast on a tray.

  * * *

  Milly helped her to sit up and placed the tray in front of her.

  ‘Come on, rise and shine! You’re getting married today.’

  Grace groaned and dragged the two books from beneath the covers. ‘Could you put these in my suitcase under my clothes, please?’

  ‘No wonder you’re tired if you stayed away half the night reading,’ said Milly. ‘Although, I think I’d be best taking these home and you can pick up on your reading in a few days…’

  ‘There are words I don’t understand,’ said Grace, sipping her tea. ‘And I’d rather take the books with me.’

  ‘I should imagine there’s more than a few words,’ Milly said. ‘But right now, I think you need to eat your toast and drink your tea and then get up, wash and dress, and we can talk while I pin up your hair.’

  Once Grace had eaten her breakfast, risen from her bed and had a thorough wash all over, she carefully put on the white silk underwear and stockings she had treated herself to from Marks & Spencer. Then she turned to the foot of the bed where Milly had placed the box containing the dress she had worn for her wedding along with a veil and headdress which she had offered to Grace as her something borrowed. Grace had been delighted to accept the kind offer, as she had often admired Milly’s dress, and the only addition she had made, was to wear an angora rabbit fur-edged wool bolero on top due to the weather being cold. She wore last winter’s leather ankle boots for warmth and comfort.

  By the time she was dressed, her father was knocking on the bedroom door asking was she ready, as time was really getting on. Milly opened the door with a flourish and hummed the wedding march; Norman gasped as his daughter appeared in the doorway.

  ‘You look beautiful! I just wish your mother could have been here to see you.’

  ‘So, do I,’ said Grace, slipping her arm through his. ‘But I’m so happy, Dad, that you’re here to give me away.’

  Norman led the way down the stairs and into the parlour, saying, ‘Your and Milly’s bouquets were dropped off a short while ago. Polly, Douglas, Davy and the girls have already left for the church.’ He peered out of the window. ‘And, if I’m not mistaken, here comes your wedding carriage to take the three of us to church.’

  Grace could not help giggling as her wedding carriage was the milkman’s cart, with a couple of extra planks for seating, decorated nicely with white ribbons and artificial white flowers. Alf, the milkman, climbed down and assisted the bride and her attendant up into his cart. He also helped Norman up. Then, once Alf was perched up on his seat again, he cracked his whip and told the horse, Old Tom, to walk on.

  Grace enjoyed the short journey to the church; she surveyed the pavements both sides of the cart and waved back to those who shouted good wishes. They arrived at the church to be greeted by a crowd of sightseers outside. She caught sight of Kyle with his camera at the ready inside the grounds. She slowed, and she, Norman and Milly posed for him before he darted inside the church and signalled to the vicar that the bride had arrived. The organ burst into sound and the congregation rose to their feet.

  ‘Here we go,’ said Norman, with his daughter’s hand tucked through his arm.

  As she walked slowly up the aisle, Grace’s gaze was fixed firmly on Ben’s broad back, willing him to turn and look at her, but it was not until she was a yard or so away that he turned his head. Even through her veil, she was aware of his eyes meeting hers. The service seemed to go by as if she was in a dream, but several parts stuck in her mind: the words spoken by Ben, ‘…with my body I thee worship…’ and herself replying, ‘…love and obey…’ then there was the part about ‘…until death do we part…’.

  Awe-inspiring words, she thought, as she left the church on Ben’s arm. Would she be able to keep the vow to love and obey him? And what did it mean that he would worship her with his body? Maybe she would find something about that in the books Milly had lent her. It was then she remembered that Milly had forgotten to tell her about those words she did not understand. But then that thought went out of her mind as Kyle called to her and Ben to take a couple’s photograph. Grace realised that she was going to have to concentrate on all that was happening in the here and now and put her worries for the night ahead aside.

  Ben squeezed her hand. ‘What are you thinking about? You seem miles away.’

  ‘No, my thoughts are here with you,’ she said, smiling up at her husband, aware of a sense of relief that not for one moment during the service had she given thought to Dougie who was miles away, thank God. The last thing she wanted was him turning up out of the blue and spoiling her and Ben’s special day. It was something he might have considered doing, she realised. Perhaps he was not in London yet, so did not know about her wedding as she had not received a letter from him ranting about her letting him down by betraying him with another man.

  Instead, she had been able to enjoy outings with Ben, visiting Otterspool in south Liverpool and walking arm in arm along the promenade. She had never given any thought to how it got its name, but now Ben had told her that there used to be otters that played in an inlet of the Mersey that had eventually formed a pool. They had also visited Chester and walked along the River Dee and taken the train to Parbold and walked up the hill where there was a fabulous view of the southern Lancashire plain where one could just about catch the gleam of the Irish Sea in the distance. She had enjoyed those scenic and peaceful moments in Ben’s company when their moods seemed to be in complete harmony. Dougie would not have enjoyed just standing and staring but would have wanted to either rush back to the city where there was what he called plenty of things happening; she realised how often he had bullied her into doing what he wanted. There were times when Ben would help her over a stile and draw her gently into his arms when a chill wind blew and kiss her warmly, but there was never any hint of cruelty in his embraces.

  Of course, there were evenings when they went to the flickers and enjoyed sitting close in the warmth of the auditorium while outside the wind whipped the rain into a frenzy. There was no embarrassing fumbling in the dark, but she enjoyed the feel of Ben’s arm around her shoulders and the scent of his shaving soap, as well as his fingers lacing with hers as they shared a bag of nut brittle while their eyes were fixed on the screen. Afterwards they would fight their way home against the wild weather, laughing but also discussing the films they had watched as well as voicing the hope that the weather would be better on their honeymoon.

  Once the wedding breakfast had been eaten, the cake cut and glasses raised to toast the happy couple, the hap
piness of the day could have been easily soured. As Jimmy, the best man, read the cards and telegrams that had arrived to congratulate the newly-weds; he opened one of the telegrams addressed solely to Grace, and then discreetly put it aside. After waving the bride and groom off as they departed to catch their train to Southport he gave it to the care of his wife, Milly, for safekeeping. Later, they read it again at home together, and burnt it. As they fed the twins, husband and wife pondered on how the telegram would have mortified Grace, and possibly have shaken the foundations of her new marriage.

  Unfortunately, they had not accounted for the spitefulness of Dougie’s sister, Marion.

  Part 2

  December 1934–1936

  Chapter 14

  Southport: December 1934

  ‘Do you fancy a walk along Lord Street before we turn in?’ asked Ben.

  Grace was in the act of laying out the white negligee embroidered with pink flowers around the scooped neckline that she had bought at Marks & Spencer on the double bed, and Ben’s question and the feel of his hands on her shoulders from behind startled her, causing her to bang her foot against one of the bed’s casters. She stumbled and would have fallen onto the bed if her husband had not caught her against his chest and pressed his lips against the nape of her neck.

  Grace was tempted to kiss him, but already Ben was moving away from her and reaching for his overcoat.

  ‘If that’s what you want,’ she replied in a low voice. ‘I suppose some fresh air and exercise will clear my mind.’

  ‘I can guess how you feel, conversations buzzing inside your head. One of your cousins asked me had you read the message her brother had sent you.’

  Grace sat up. ‘I bet it was Marion. She hates me and would like nothing more than to cause distrust between us. There is no message from Dougie. I’ve not heard from him since I sent him that letter telling him I was marrying you.’