For Better, For Worse

by June Francis

  She did not respond immediately, as she had a lump in her throat, moved by his calling her ‘Mam’. ‘Of course, you’re right, son. He’ll be proud of you. Let’s hope there’s no raids this evening. You must be exhausted.’

  He did not reply, as he carefully navigated his bicycle around a pile of rubble.

  Grace’s uncle was standing on the step next door and he smiled and waved to them as they approached. ‘Glad to see you’re all right,’ he said as he clamped his hand on Simon’s shoulder as he came up the steps. Simon greeted his uncle wearily, and then left Grace talking with Douglas and went inside the house.

  ‘I wonder if Marion will worry and be in touch with Dougie and tell him about the raid to let him know we’re all right,’ said her uncle. ‘Or more to the point, that I’m still alive…’

  Grace’s heart sank. ‘You don’t think he’ll come and visit you, do you?’

  ‘I’d rather he didn’t,’ he said. ‘Anyway, I’d better let you go in. See you soon.’

  Grace went inside and sank into a chair, feeling worn out by lack of sleep and the worry for Simon. She looked up at him standing in the kitchen and saw that he held Irene in his arms. He had removed his helmet and filthy coat and washed his face and hands, by all appearances, because his hands were bandaged. She could only think that was because he had damaged them digging.

  She must have nodded off, as she did not wake up until she felt herself being pulled out of the chair and hustled down into the cellar hours later. She gazed bleary-eyed about her and saw that Alice was hugging Irene to her. She could see no sign of Simon and could only think that she had dreamt that she had gone to search for him earlier. She glanced in the direction of the lodgers and said, ‘Simon not back yet?’

  The words were no sooner out of her mouth than the All Clear sounded and a few moments later, they heard the door open upstairs. ‘That’ll be him,’ said Barbara. ‘That didn’t last long.’

  Barbara and Grace stood up and they went up the cellar steps together. Barbara arrived at the top first and switched on the hall light. She stared at the stranger standing in the hall and only just managed to prevent a scream. ‘Who are you?’ she asked in a stricken voice.

  Grace came up behind her and stared at Dougie. ‘What are you doing here? You don’t belong here!’

  ‘A nice welcome from you again, Gracie,’ he said. ‘After me coming all this way last night to see if you were all right.’

  ‘I don’t believe you,’ she rasped. ‘More likely you came to see if your dad was still alive.’

  ‘You do me an injustice, sweetheart,’ he said in a saccharine voice. ‘Marion let me know that Ben had been called up, so I thought you might need me to keep you warm at night. You used to like my kisses, if I remember correct.’ He moved towards her, but Barbara stood in his way.

  ‘Don’t be disgusting,’ retorted Grace, ‘and I’m no sweetheart of yours. Now get out!’ An intense anger swept over her and without stopping to think, she went around Barbara and hit him in the midriff. She managed to catch him off balance and Dougie fell awkwardly against the closed front door and hit his head on the doorframe, but not before he managed to seize her wrist and drag her over. Grace fell heavily on the tiled floor, but in that instance, the front door was opened from outside. Dougie toppled backwards, and almost sending Simon flying.

  Barbara hurried over to Grace, while Simon tried to make sense of what was happening. Then he moved swiftly and stood gazing down at Dougie with loathing. He didn’t know all the ins and outs of it, but he knew his dad disliked this man intensely. His scrutiny then passed to Grace, whom he saw through the open door lying prone on the hall floor with Barbara attempting to rouse her into a sitting position. Simon’s first instinct was to kick Dougie where he lay, but then common sense asserted itself, and he bent and dragged the moaning man to his feet and pushed him down the front steps. He then slammed the front door, shut, and locked it, before lifting Grace with the ease of youth, and carried her into the sitting room and placing her carefully on the sofa.

  He gazed down at her with concern and said, ‘Are you all right? Do I need to fetch a doctor?’

  ‘I hope not. I feel shaken up, but I don’t think any damage has been done.’ She said in a small voice. She then stared at his right hand and saw his hand was bandaged. ‘You’re hurt. What happened?’

  ‘You don’t remember?’ he sounded anxious.

  Barbara said, ‘She only woke up about a quarter of an hour ago, and I think she hasn’t realised she’s slept the whole day through. Or do you think she’s banged her head and has concussion?’

  Simon drew a deep steadying breath and moved away from Grace. ‘Before Dad left, he told me she might be pregnant. I was to look out for her. I’m worried that swine could have hurt her and the baby.’

  ‘I see. I’m glad you told me because we can make sure she has enough rest,’ said Barbara. ‘Perhaps the pair of you should stay here until after the baby is born.’ She paused. ‘By the way, who is that horrible man?’

  ‘He’s her cousin, Beryl’s brother. They were going to get married, but he’d gone off to Australia and she was supposed to follow him out there, but she met Dad, and we both liked her, so they got married. Years ago now.’ He paused. ‘There was some trouble about it though. If you want to know more you should ask Grace. Or Beryl – she doesn’t have much time for her brother. Anyway, I’m wacked, I need to hit the sack before my next shift. Can you and your mam help Grace with Irene and see that she’s all right?’

  ‘Fine, how was it out there? It didn’t sound too bad and you’re back early tonight.’

  ‘It was only a light raid. Could be that they threw enough at us the last two nights that they ran out of ammunition, or they’ve gone somewhere else. Goodnight – see you when I see ya.’

  Grace said in a drowsy voice, ‘God bless!’

  Barbara turned from staring after Simon and smiled down at her. ‘Did you hear all that?’ she asked.

  ‘Caught the odd sentence. I am pregnant, by the way. Baby’s due in September.’

  ‘Well, let’s hope there’ll be no more raids for now,’ said Barbara.

  Grace agreed, although she doubted that Hitler had finished with Britain. Later that day she asked Alice if they could stay until after the baby was born. Alice had no hesitation in agreeing and was thrilled about the thought of a new baby on the way.

  * * *

  For the rest of March, Liverpool was left undisturbed by the Luftwaffe and Grace began to hope that Ben might manage to get some leave and make it home for the Easter weekend. Good Friday was on 11th April this year. She had written to him, but had only mentioned fleetingly about the March raids and Dougie’s unexpected appearance. The next time she wrote, it was to tell him that she would be staying at Alice’s until after the baby was born and that it would be lovely if he could get home for Easter. Ben replied soon after, saying that he would try and get leave for Easter, but that Grace wasn’t to depend on it, as travelling would be difficult and that there were those who had already requested leave. He also mentioned that he had received a long letter from Simon about the March air raids and Dougie’s visit and that she was to let him know immediately if he ever turned up again. He had enclosed an Easter card for Irene, chocolate being in short supply due to the rationing.

  Easter arrived, and Grace went to church on Good Friday, and again with the rest of the household on Easter Sunday. Her family next door also accompanied them, and the party was in a happy mood because so far there had been no more air raids on Merseyside; the spring had been kind, and the hens were laying well. Grace had spoken to her uncle and Beryl about Dougie’s visit and they had been very apologetic about having told Dougie in passing that Ben had been called up. She told them not to worry, as it was likely that his friend Roddy knew about that because he and Ben had spent some time in conversation just before Ben had left for training.

  ‘I don’t think Dougie and Roddie are friends anymore,’ said her unc
le. ‘Marion came to call and she said they had fallen out because Dougie owed Roddy money. Apparently, Dougie tried to cadge money from her as well, but she was skint. She’s just asked me for a loan to pay her rent. I told her to tell the rent man to get in touch with me. I wasn’t going to risk giving her money and her passing it on to Dougie.’

  ‘So, did the rent collector get in touch?’ asked Grace.

  He nodded, looking forlorn. ‘He set me thinking, though. I’m a fool. She could have given Dougie the money she normally pays to the rent collector when she gets her wages. Dougie’s such a bully… I know the two of them have always appeared great friends, but I suspect it is likely due to Marion knowing that it is the best way of stopping Dougie bullying her. Your mother could never see any wrong in him, and I didn’t want endless arguments with either of them, but it’s gone on for a long time. Anyway, I won’t be tricked again. I know it’s probably not Marion’s fault, but I’m disappointed in the pair of them, and they can keep their distance.’

  The days passed. Grace was feeling well and towards the end of April when she felt the baby quickening she was able to write to Ben and tell him that she had felt the baby moving. Also there had been no more raids, and just like a lot of others, Grace had started to believe that Hitler had given up on Britain and was turning his attention on his erstwhile ally, Russia. She was also able to report to Ben that there was no sight nor sound of Dougie.

  On 1st May, just after eleven pm, as Grace was thinking of settling down for the night, her thoughts were on Ben and how he might be reading her letter at that very moment, when the air-raid siren sounded a warning. Grace groaned and her heart sank. She stuffed her knitting in her knitting bag and rose slowly to her feet. She was five months’ pregnant now, but much bigger than she had been with Irene at this stage. She heard Simon’s feet on the hall stairs and a few minutes later she caught the sound of him descending, and Irene’s sleepy whimper. She stared across at Alice, who had been keeping her company in the sitting room, and said, ‘Here we go again.’

  Alice pushed herself up out of the chair. ‘Everything is in place downstairs, even some fresh tea and some conny-onny.’

  ‘We’ve no fresh milk to take down,’ said Grace.

  ‘No, it went in Simon’s cocoa,’ Alice said.

  ‘Never mind chattering,’ said Simon. ‘Let’s get you down to the cellar.’

  It was only when they were settled in the cellar and Barbara’s mother, Joan, had joined them, that Grace realised that Barbara was not there.

  ‘She’s at the hospital,’ Simon said.

  ‘Alder Hey children’s hospital in West Derby this week,’ said her mother.

  ‘At least it’s a good distant from the docks,’ said Simon. ‘Anyway, I’d better be on my way.’

  ‘Watch your step and your head, son,’ Grace said.

  He winked at her. ‘Keep your heads down, ladies, and don’t go looking for trouble.’ He blew them a kiss and was gone.

  Grace prayed that it would be a short raid and Simon would soon return. Hours later the All Clear had still not sounded, so all she could do was pray for courage and Simon’s safety. The garden birds were singing the dawn chorus by the time Simon returned, pale beneath the muck. The women fussed around him, pushing him into a chair and handing him a restorative cup of tea and a slice of savoury mincemeat pie.

  ‘I’m going to have to go out again and help down by the docks, although most likely I’ll have to push my bike the nearer I get, because the destruction is terrible and vehicles will have a job getting through.’ He paused to take a drink and a bite of food. His head nodded, but he jerked it upright again.

  Grace’s heart went out to him and she thought how it would break Ben’s heart if his son were to be injured seriously. ‘You need to rest first,’ she said.

  ‘No time to rest,’ he said, finishing the slice of pie and draining the cup. ‘See you later, and give Barbara my best when she gets back.’

  But Barbara did not arrive back that day. Her mother attempted to phone the hospital, but could not get through. The tears ran down her cheeks, and it was only when Simon returned at two in the afternoon that she stopped crying as he told her that most of the telephone lines were down and that the regional headquarters and government departments were having to rely on mobile wireless stations in Liverpool. The middle and the northern parts of the docks and Bootle were the worst affected by the bombing – several ships had been sunk in the docks. Hundreds of volunteers were working like crazy to clear the mess and get the docks working again while the fire services put out the hundreds of fires.

  ‘What about the hospitals?’ asked Barbara’s mother.

  ‘Lots of homes damaged or destroyed. I heard nowt about Alder Hey hospital, and I think I would have if it had been hit, due to it now being a children’s hozzie. Most likely Barbara’s stayed there because there was no way she could get here except by walking and it is a good old walk home.’

  They all decided to try and have a sleep; Grace went upstairs with Irene and took her into bed with her and managed to doze off.

  The raid continued ceaselessly, as the Luftwaffe tried to destroy the docks, factories and morale of Liverpool and Birkenhead citizens once again. It was not until the afternoon of 5th May that Barbara arrived home perched on the crossbar of Simon’s bike. He had cycled to the hospital to check on her, and as Barbara had worked non-stop for nearly five days, she was told she could go home.

  Chapter 33

  The next morning Grace heard the sound of a motorbike outside, and curiosity sent her to have a look to see who it could be. To her amazement, there was a motorbike, and as the rider dismounted and removed his helmet, she recognised him – it was Kyle! He spotted her straight away, waved and came towards her.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked.

  ‘We heard that Liverpool was having a terrible time and thousands were homeless, with a real shortage of Rest Centres and helpers. I thought of the orphanage standing there empty and brought the keys as it might be a good place to house people who have lost their home. I also thought I could help the workmen with the clearing up process or putting out the fires. The flames can be seen from the top of Clieves Hill, near Ormskirk!’

  ‘It’s been terrible the last few nights, but it’s so good to see you. Are Jane and the children well – how’s Milly, Jimmy and the twins?’

  ‘All well, although worried about you. Jimmy’s walking fine now and wanted to come with me, but Milly and Matron wouldn’t allow it – said it would set him back. Besides, he’s needed there with me being here.’ His expression sobered. ‘Now where should I go to report?’

  Grace barely hesitated. ‘I’ll wake Simon. He’s the one to help you.’

  ‘Simon!’ he exclaimed. ‘He’s only a lad. Isn’t he at school?’

  But Grace had already vanished leaving Kyle propping up his motorbike against a blackcurrant bush. He removed his gauntlets and made to follow her inside, after a fleeting glance at the front door of his own house, glad to see it still standing and undamaged. Another motorbike with a sidecar pulled up as he was walking inside, and he caught a glance of a man dismounting outside his old home. However, he was distracted as Grace reappeared in the hallway with Simon in tow.

  Simon stared at Kyle and his face broke into a smile. Wordlessly, he approached Kyle and put his arms around him. ‘I can hardly believe you’re here,’ he said, hugging him.

  ‘I know how you feel,’ said Kyle. ‘But I’m thinking there’s no time to waste and I need to report to someone in charge of finding shelter for those who are homeless.’

  ‘Righteo,’ Simon said, heading for the front door. ‘Mam said you had a motorbike, so I can ride pillion and give directions on the way.’

  ‘Great,’ said Kyle.

  Grace waved them off and again mouthed a silent pray for their safety. There might not be any bombs falling, but there were craters in the roads, and rubble and unsafe buildings that needed to be avoided. In t
he meantime, she got Irene ready to go out and noticed that both motorcycles had gone from outside the houses. She knocked on the neighbouring front door and told her uncle about Kyle’s visit.

  ‘Will he want us all to move out?’ asked her uncle, looking worried.

  ‘I doubt it. He’s here to help the homeless or anywhere he can be useful. I think he then wants to return to his job at the orphanage and to his wife and children up in Lancashire,’ Grace said, crossing her fingers. ‘Anyway, I need to go shopping.’

  ‘But I’ve something to tell you—’ pressed Douglas.

  But Grace didn’t hear the urgency in his voice, as Irene was fussing her about something. ‘Can it wait? I need to get something for Irene’s lunch and the queues are terrible at the moment – I’ll see you later.’

  Grace and Irene walked to the Co-op and joined the queue. An hour later she was told she was entitled to half a pound of stewing steak, and as there had been a special delivery, she could have some liver. She asked the butcher did he have a mutton bone to make soup and after a few minutes he returned with a decent-sized bone which had morsels of meat clinging to it. She thanked him, handed over Alice’s, the children’s and her own ration books, as well as some money. She also managed to buy some lime jelly before hurrying back to the house.

  Once home, Grace set to boiling the bone and adding barley and vegetables. She then stewed the meat and fried the liver and poured OXO gravy over both before making pastry for a pie. Once the pie was in the oven, she poured some of the soup in bowls for Alice, Irene, and herself, and some cut bread to eat with the soup. She called them to the table and they all ate lunch together. Then she debated whether to take Fergie and Irene for a walk in the park or wait in with Alice until Simon and Kyle returned.

  She decided that Fergie needed a walk, so she made her way to the park with her daughter and walked to the pond where children could sail model boats. Grace set Irene down, who immediately made a beeline for the water’s edge and started playing around. Grace rushed after her and caught her by the hem of her dress as her daughter teetered on the edge of the pond. Fergie capered at their side, yapping.