For Better, For Worse

by June Francis

Her husband nodded. ‘The family were – are devout Catholics, but they didn’t have the money to start a proper search, and then trouble was brewing with Hitler.’

  ‘So, the search was delayed,’ said Grace, fidgeting with the bedcovers.

  Ben nodded. ‘It wasn’t until Josephine was over here as part of her war work that she was able to start looking into things. Somehow, she was introduced to Andrew, I’m not sure how, but you know the circles he moves in. Anyway, they happened to get talking – I think he must have mentioned growing up in Liverpool and—’

  ‘That’s it! I remember now, it was bugging me! The wooden toy dog that Irene used to play with – the one your brother made before he went off soldiering which was lying round the house – you mentioned this soldier making some wooden animals. Did Andrew know about you having a brother who had gone missing in the last war? The timings sound about right,’ interrupted Grace urgently, reaching out towards her husband to grasp his hand.

  ‘Yes. I have mentioned it to Andrew before now. And, as he said to me, just before I met Josephine at that teashop, he only knew one Ben – so I seemed a good person to start with…’

  ‘So, you think Josephine’s husband could be your missing brother?’ Grace asked excitedly.

  ‘I believe it’s a possibility…’ Ben replied. ‘Mam always believed Martin was still alive even in those bleak years after the war.’ Grace remembered Ben’s closed-off face whenever the subject of Martin had come up in the past and knew how much this glimmer of hope about his brother being alive would mean to him.

  ‘Did you tell Josephine that?’

  He nodded.

  ‘What happens next?’ asked Grace.

  ‘Well, I can’t go over there and check if it’s him just yet,’ Ben said. ‘You asked why I asked you to meet me here in Oxford and it’s because we wouldn’t have been able to find a place to stay close to the south coast.’ He lowered his voice. ‘The invasion of Europe is imminent.’

  Grace turned on her side and looked him in the face. ‘Good God, does that mean the war’s nearly over?’

  He kissed the tip of her nose. ‘I think it’s the beginning of the end, if all goes well.’

  ‘Where does that leave Josephine and Martin?’ she asked.

  ‘Once the Allies secure France,’ said Ben. ‘I’ll explain the situation to my commanding officer and ask permission to go to the farm and see if it is Martin. I’ve agreed to stay in touch with Josephine and told her I will visit as soon as I can. There’s not much I can do for now.’

  ‘Do you think you’ll recognise him after all this time?’

  ‘’Course! He’s my older brother. Then I’d like to bring him to Liverpool and make him an appointment at St Paul’s Eye Hospital. Apparently, they’ve never had his eyes checked and there might be something we can do to help fix his eyesight. He used to paint so well…’ Ben trailed off suddenly.

  ‘Will Josephine agree to that, do you think?’ Grace asked.

  ‘I’m not going to mention it until I can confirm if it is Martin. No point stirring things up. Josephine’s only wanting to make sure he’s not married already with a child in Liverpool. I think she’s heading back to France soon, once her work here is finished. She’s nice, Grace, you’d like her. I know that after the war she wants her husband to stay on the farm with her, and their son. Her parents are getting on and they are wanted there.’

  ‘Of course,’ said Grace, her mind spinning with the news. She fell silent, while she digested the unexpected news. To think that she thought Ben might be cheating on her! She could be such a hot-head at times, and her temper could get the better of her, she knew. There was so much to hope for if this mysterious man was Ben’s brother! But Grace couldn’t bear to think how disappointed Ben would be if it all turned out to be a false lead. To change the subject, she said lightly, ‘Now, what about us seeing something of Oxford?’

  ‘Sounds good to me,’ Ben said. But instead of throwing back the bedcovers, he rolled over and said, ‘Maybe in a little while.’ Then he began kissing her again.

  Chapter 38

  Liverpool: June 1944

  Grace basked in the warmth of those loving days spent in Oxford with Ben during the following turbulent summer months, especially as information seeped into the newspapers about the Allies’ advance into Europe. Grace expected any day to hear from Ben telling her that he would shortly be on his way to France too. The thought filled her with dread, as she was terrified of losing Ben, after all they had been through.

  She hadn’t had a letter from him, and although she tried to quieten her mind, she found one day, when visiting Milly in late June that she could not help but speak of her concern.

  ‘I think you’re worrying unnecessarily,’ Milly said.

  ‘I hope so, I just don’t want Ben delayed too long in France. The Allies have broken out of Normandy now, and the initial D-Day invasion was earlier this month, and I still haven’t heard from him!’ wailed Grace, fidgeting with a button on her jacket.

  ‘I’m sure he’ll get himself back home safely because he’ll be wanting to be reunited with you as much as you want to see him,’ comforted Milly.

  * * *

  The hot days of July passed slowly but didn’t bring any real news from Ben. Grace finally received an out-of-date misdirected letter from him, which was postmarked from weeks before in early June. The letter was brief and gave very little away, other than that he was on the Continent. Although Grace was afraid for her husband’s safe return, when she shared his letter with Barbara and Simon, she felt a wave of hope about the outcome of the war that she had not felt before. The Allies were in mainland Europe! And all being well, the young couple were planning an Easter Saturday wedding for the following March, although Simon wanted to get Ben’s blessing before he set a firm date with Barbara. Their commitment to each other at such an uncertain time filled Grace with happiness, and she allowed herself to imagine for a moment what it would feel like for the war to be over next year, when Simon and his wife-to-be would be a couple of newly-weds starting a new life together.

  As July turned into August, the days went by again with no further information about Ben. Although Paris was liberated on 25th August, Grace could not feel much joy at the news, as she still had no idea about the whereabouts of her husband; or even if he was dead or alive. Sick with worry, she tried to keep a brave face in front of the children but felt world-weary and heartsick. The years of constant war suddenly seemed too much to bear.

  Then, unexpectedly, three days before Peter’s birthday, as the chill of autumn could be felt in the air, Grace was aroused just before dawn by a hammering on the front door. She rolled out of bed with her eyes still shut and staggered over to the window overlooking the street. She eased up the lower sash window and croaked out, ‘What’s going on down there? Who’s banging like that?’

  A moment later she saw a man appear in the road. ‘Grace luv, it’s me. Could you come down and let me in? I’m tired out.’

  Grace could scarcely believe it. Pausing only to put on her dressing gown, she closed the window with a clatter and hurried downstairs. She half-expected to see Simon coming out of his bedroom, as he was currently on leave and might have been disturbed by the noise, but there was no sign of him or Irene. Grace was in the process of shooting back the bolts on the front door when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs behind her. She threw the front door open and flung herself into her husband’s arms.

  Ben hugged her as she wept on his chest. ‘Hey, hey, what’s this about?’

  ‘I was worrying.’

  ‘What about?’ Ben asked. ‘We’ve pushed the Jerries out of France! We’ve got them now. It’s nearly over! Come, come now, I wasn’t in any danger, not really!’

  ‘I was just being silly,’ Grace said, pressing little kisses over his face. ‘The transportation ship could have sunk or you could have been injured… I didn’t hear from you for such a while that I was imagining the worst.’

  ‘I di
d write, but things were moving so fast over there, I did wonder if my letters would get through. I’m here now – I’ve got leave for ten days. I was not in the forefront of the invasion but in the rear. I volunteered to go over to Normandy and help unload the ships’ supplies and equipment that were to be transported to the advancing troops,’ said Ben, holding her away from him and gazing into her tear-stained face.

  Grace continued to welcome him warmly, and hugged and kissed him again, before ushering him into the house. By now, Simon stood on the doorstep – he had heard most of the conversation, and wordlessly folded his dad into a great hug.

  Grace soon had Ben out of his dirty uniform and sitting down in clean clothes at the kitchen table. She had checked on Irene and Peter who shared a bedroom, and saw that they were still asleep, so decided to leave them be. The kettle was on and she took out cups and saucers, milk and sugar and biscuits for an early morning brew for them all. Simon sat opposite his father, wide-eyed, catching up on all his soldiering news. Ben in turn, asked his son how things were with him. As she bustled in and out of the back kitchen with the tea things, Grace once again noted the similarities between father and son, and gave thanks for this precious time they had together, given that their leave had rarely coincided before.

  At Ben’s questioning, Simon’s expression altered. ‘Now the Battle of the Atlantic is as good as won, our ship is being deployed elsewhere, so I won’t be able to get home so regular. Don’t ask me where, because we haven’t been told yet – although we’re not to take tropical kit, so my best guess is most likely the coast of Germany.’

  Ben’s spirits sank. ‘Does Grace know you’re being deployed away from Liverpool?’

  ‘Not yet, and I haven’t mentioned it to Barbara either. But I’m due to go tomorrow, I just heard last night. It’s been bad enough waiting for information about you, and this will start them worrying again, so I didn’t have the heart to tell them. I’m dreading breaking it to them.’

  Ben grimaced. ‘So, Mum’s the word.’

  Simon nodded and turned to face Grace with a smile as she passed him a teacup.

  * * *

  The next day, Grace and Simon were up first, and while Grace put the kettle on, Simon lit the fire. It was while they were having a cup of tea that he told her about his ship being deployed. He ended by asking that Grace keep Barbara’s spirits up while he was away.

  ‘What about the wedding?’ Grace asked her voice a little too bright. ‘Will you be back for it? I suppose it’s too early to say, all depends on where you end up.’

  Simon shrugged in agreement, and his eyes were damp. He was still only a lad after all, and Grace wanted to go to him and hug him and tell him that everything would be all right, but she felt frozen to the spot. What with Ben just back, this felt a hard blow. Simon was the one to come over to her and hug her.

  ‘Pray for me,’ he said, his voice muffled against her neck.

  ‘Of course—’ she said, and then rallying herself ‘—but remember when you were in the bath chair and in danger of crashing into a tree? And then that time you were blown off your bike and hit the wall? And what about before we met and you fell out of a tree and damaged your wrists and kneecap, but then made a full recovery? You’re a survivor, Simon!’

  ‘Some might say I’m accident-prone, and the day will come when my luck runs out,’ Simon said laughing, and he sniffed slightly.

  ‘Luck has nothing to do with it. You’re here for a reason. You’re needed now and for the future.’ She shook him gently by the upper arms. ‘And don’t you forget it.’

  They drew apart and he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. ‘I’d better get going,’ he said, picking up his kitbag.

  ‘But you’ve had no breakfast! And what about your dad?’

  ‘I’m going to see Barbara. I want to catch her in plenty of time before she leaves for the hospital. She’ll give me something. I said my goodbyes to Dad last night.’

  Grace saw him to the door, trying to keep her back straight as she waved the young man off down the street. She was aware of Ben standing behind her.

  ‘He told you then?’ he asked.

  She nodded and turned and slipped her arms around his waist. ‘Hold me tight.’

  They held each other, and then still with their arms around each other, they went upstairs and gazed down at their sleeping daughter and son.

  Chapter 39

  Liverpool: September 1944

  Later that evening when they were in bed and were cuddling up, Grace’s thoughts turned again to Barbara and Simon.

  ‘I hope they don’t waste their time together worrying about losing each other. When I think of the times that I worried about you and you always arrived back – thank God.’

  ‘Agreed,’ said Ben. ‘And I’ll be posted off again soon. But not long to go now, I can sense that the war’s nearly done. I forgot to mention that I had been hoping to sneak off when I was in France and look for Martin, but I just couldn’t get away, though I might manage it this time,’ he added.

  ‘You might be able to bring him home fort the wedding. Simon would be thrilled. That boy thinks the world of you. I take it you gave the Easter wedding date your blessing, didn’t you?’ Grace said, referring to Simon wanting to speak to Ben before he finalised the date with Barbara.

  ‘Of course,’ Ben said. ‘They’re made for each other, the two of them. Just like we were – your dad realised it before we did,’ he said chuckling.

  Grace thought then of Norman and how he had given his permission straight away for her to marry Ben – how right he had been to trust Ben to care for her. Norman had been against her and Dougie from the start. Grace smiled. Thank God, Norman had prevented her from going to Australia with him. Suddenly, she thought back to the day on the dock when she waved Dougie goodbye as a fresh-faced girl and she remembered that her father had never told her why he had not been allowed to stay in Australia. That secret had always troubled her for some reason. She couldn’t believe that she had forgotten to ask, but with all the drama that seemed to follow Dougie around, she supposed she would never know now, unless Norman had spoken of it to Ben. If he had done so, hopefully he had not sworn him to secrecy.

  They were silent for a while, and then Grace spoke up. ‘Ben? Do you remember if my dad ever told you why he was kicked out of Australia? Thinking of Simon and Barbara’s plans reminded me of our wedding and all that led up to it.’ Grace was quiet for a moment, not really wanting to bring up the subject of Dougie, with all that nonsense having been laid to rest. ‘He didn’t tell me, but I was wondering whether he ever told you.’

  ‘Goodness, that’s some time ago now,’ Ben said. ‘But he did, as it happens. Seems he got himself in a fight with some Aussies over a girl and a knife was produced.’

  ‘By me dad?’ exclaimed Grace, shocked, thinking of how mild-mannered Norman had always been towards her.

  ‘Most sailors carried a knife, even if it was just a penknife,’ Ben reassured her. ‘To cut string, rope, and yes, probably for self-defence in a foreign port. He said that he was a bit of a hot-head in those days. Like someone else I know, eh?’ Grace ignored Ben’s gentle teasing, so he continued, ‘But he did add that he was thankful to those Aussies because if he had been allowed to stay there, he would never have met your mother, and wouldn’t have had you for a daughter.’ He put his hand over hers on top of the bedcovers. ‘And we wouldn’t have each other, or Irene and Peter.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose Dad was right… And our two are as thick as thieves, they’re lucky to have each other. Irene defends Peter no end when they play out, it’s nice to see.’

  ‘Just like Martin and I used to be,’ said Ben thoughtfully. ‘I can’t wait for the war to end so I can go and visit Josephine’s farm and meet her husband. Just imagine if it is him, Grace, after all this time!’ Grace squeezed his hand in response.

  ‘I hope Simon and Barbara have children, and Irene and Peter,’ said Grace. ‘I wonder what they’ll have to cope with in th
e future.’

  ‘We can’t know the future. But we can continue to put our best foot forward. The war’s got to be over soon, I’m sure of it, and we’ll all be back together again before we know it.’ Grace sighed contentedly at the thought. ‘But, hopefully, our grandchildren will have the best of times, and appreciate them,’ murmured Ben sleepily, as he tucked his arm tightly around his wife lying at his side, pulling her close.

  About the Author

  June Francis’ sagas include Step by Step, A Dream To Share, When Clouds Go Rolling By, Tilly’s Story and Sunshine and Showers. She had her first novel published at forty and is married with three sons. She lives in Liverpool.

  Also by June Francis

  For Better, For Worse

  Where There’s a Will

  It’s Now or Never

  Love Letters in the Sand

  Many a Tear Has To Fall

  Memories Are Made of This

  Walking Back to Happiness

  Shadows of the Past

  Another Man’s Child

  Someone to Trust

  The Heart Will Lead

  A Place to Call Home

  Look for the Silver Lining

  The Victoria Crescent Sagas

  Step by Step

  A Dream to Share

  When the Clouds Go Rolling By

  Tilly’s Story

  Sunshine and Showers

  First published in the United Kingdom in 2020 by Canelo

  Canelo Digital Publishing Limited

  31 Helen Road

  Oxford OX2 0DF

  United Kingdom

  Copyright © June Francis, 2020

  The moral right of June Francis to be identified as the creator of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.