You're Being Summoned, Darkness

by Natsume Akatsuki

  “Hey, Kazuma, can you hear me? Hey!”

  I recognized the voice outside my window.

  I glanced around, making sure there was no one else nearby besides Dust, who was snoring.

  Apparently, they didn’t think they needed to keep too close an eye on a cell this deep in the police station.

  The window was way too high for me to reach. I stood under it, and this time I could clearly hear Aqua’s voice.

  “Aqua, you—! Why are you here?”

  “To rescue you, obviously. Megumin and Darkness are busy creating a distraction for the officers. Megumin used Explosion just outside town. Pretty much the whole force went to check it out. Right about now Darkness should be booking it out of there with Megumin on her shoulders.”

  So those tremors had been from Megumin’s spell, huh?

  “What’s the deal, anyway? If you were gonna break me out tonight, why not just cover for me this morning?”

  “If we’d done that, they might’ve arrested everyone. Anyway, it’s not like we’re really worried about what kind of revenge you might take when you get back.”

  That last part largely explained why she’d come to rescue me.

  But…

  “Should I really be running away? Won’t that just make things worse?”

  “What are you talking about? It can’t get any worse. Sedition is a capital offense. According to Darkness, the lord whose house you blew up is a real jerk with a special talent for holding a grudge. And you’re just an adventurer of questionable origins. He probably has the power to ignore the facts and just kill you no matter what.”

  Well, I had compared this world to the Middle Ages.

  A human life here was basically worth garbage.

  “Fine. But how are you gonna break me out? Can you cut through the window bars or something?”

  Aqua gave a self-confident little chuckle and tossed something through the bars. It hit the ground with a soft metallic sound: a wire.

  What was her plan? She couldn’t possibly mean to…

  “First, you take that wire and pick the lock on your cell, like in a manga or something. Then you use your Ambush skill to walk right out of the station undetected! You head back to the mansion and get ready to make a run for it. Got it? I’ll be waiting outside the station!”

  With that, she left.

  I picked up the wire and looked at the lock.

  …It was a dial. You needed to enter a combination of eight numbers to open it.

  “…Maybe I’ll just get some sleep.”

  And I curled back up on my blanket.

  4

  “Wake up! You’re coming with us. It’s time for the interrogation.”

  I woke, still wrapped in my blanket, to Sena smacking me.

  “Geez, do you know how early it is?”

  “It’s almost noon! What kind of life have you been living?”

  They led me past the gazes of the station staff to a certain room.

  “All right, get in. We’ll listen to your pathetic excuses. Then we’ll decide whether to go to trial. I’d advise you to consider your words carefully.”

  I entered the room, quavering at Sena’s intimidating declaration. Inside, I found a table and two chairs. Another small desk and seat were located next to the doorway. It could pass for the interrogation room of pretty much any police procedural.

  One of the Knights who’d accompanied us sat wordlessly at the little desk and spread out some papers.

  He must have been the—what was it again?—stenographer.

  The other guard shoved me into the chair on the near side of the desk in the center of the room. He stood just behind me—wordlessly, too—probably so he could jump on me the moment I turned violent.

  I was quaking even harder under the pressure of being in a narrow space with two fully armored Knights. Sena sat across from me and set a small bell on the table.

  “Do you know what this is? It’s a magic item that can tell when you’re lying. It’s quite common in courtrooms and police stations. In conjunction with enchantments on this room, it rings when someone says something untrue. I’d suggest you bear that in mind… Now, shall we begin?”

  Her words only added to the oppressiveness of the atmosphere. And then she started to interrogate me with a brutally expressionless face. She had a habit of going tap, tap, tap on the desk, maybe just to keep up the pressure.

  “Kazuma Satou. Sixteen years old. Job: Adventurer. Class: also Adventurer, I see. To start with, tell me where you come from and what exactly you were doing before you became an adventurer.”

  First question, and already I could barely answer.

  How was I supposed to explain “where I’d come from” and what I’d been up to?

  And if I lied, the bell would ring…

  “I come from Japan. I was going to school there.”

  Riiing.

  The bell sounded. Hey, I hadn’t lied!

  Sena ceased her tap, tap and knitted her brow.

  “Misrepresenting place of origin and personal history…”

  I could hear the stenographer dutifully writing down her words.

  “Wait! I didn’t say anything untrue!”

  Riiing. What the hell?! Why’d it ring?!

  I was from Japan! And I had been going to…school…?

  “I’m from Japan. And every day I stayed shut up at home, leading a life of complete self-indulgence.”

  As I answered, Sena stared fixedly at the bell. So did I.

  This time, it didn’t ring.

  “Why did you pretend you were a student?”

  “I wasn’t pre— Aww, never mind.”

  Dammit! Stupid magic bell…!

  “I’ve never heard of a land called Japan. But never mind that. Next, tell me why you decided to become an adventurer.”

  “To help all the people suffering under the thumb of the Demon King’s army, I wanted—”

  Riiing.

  “……”

  “…I thought being an adventurer sounded pretty cool, and I figured you could make a bunch of money, no problem. Plus I assumed girls would love me.”

  “Th-that will do. Next. What do you have against our lord? I’m told you were often overheard complaining about debts you’d incurred…”

  “We received a large reward for defeating a Dullahan, but after the cost of repairing the town was subtracted, it actually became a large debt. Saving the town means nothing if we also destroy the town; I fully accept that.”

  Riiing.

  “……”

  “Sigh. Honestly? That’s the logic I’ve used on my friends when they get angry about it, but the truth is, I can’t believe the heroes who saved the whole town got treated like that. Sure, it makes me want to kill somebody.”

  “I—I see… Then, next…”

  “…I’m sorry, could I ask you something?” I said a bit hesitantly, jumping in before Sena could ask another question. “Couldn’t you just ask me straight-out? ‘Are you an agent of the Demon King’s army?’ or ‘Did you give the order out of hatred for our lord?’ or whatever. Because I keep telling you, I did say to use Random Teleport, but I didn’t deliberately target this lord or whoever. I had no idea things would turn out this way. I said to do it in order to save the town. That’s the truth.”

  Sena stared at the bell the entire time I spoke.

  Of course, it didn’t ring.

  When she realized it wasn’t going to, she heaved a sigh.

  “It appears I was mistaken, on account of only ever having heard terrible things about you. I apologize for that.”

  Her tune had sure changed in a hurry. The prosecutor gave me a deep bow of her head.

  I guess the way she’d sounded all this time was just how she talked to criminals. This was the usual her.

  Then I, freshly cleared, had to go and get on my high horse.

  “Geez! Throwing people in jail because of some rumors! I bet you could lose your prosecutor’s license for that!”<
br />
  “Hrk… P-pardon me… I really am sorry…”

  She kept bowing her head.

  “Do you know what I’ve accomplished? I was crucial in the defeat of the Demon King’s general, Beldia. In the fight against Mobile Fortress Destroyer, I brilliantly took command and brought down the ‘impregnable’ fortress! You ought to be thanking me, not arresting me!”

  I had leaned back in my chair so hard it began to creak. She had stuck me in prison for a night, and I wasn’t about to let that go.

  “P-p-pardon me. I was just trying to do my job… Of course I’ve heard about your achievements, Mr. Satou. It’s just—”

  “Just? Just what?! Forget it, don’t they serve tea to visitors around this police station? And I’m not a suspect anymore, just a visitor. Or maybe you were planning to bring out a whole pork cutlet bowl?!”

  “P-pork…?! I’m sorry, we d-don’t have anything like that on hand. B-but I’ll bring you something to drink right away…”

  Sena rushed out and put on some tea, which she brought back to me.

  “This is lukewarm! Doesn’t anyone at this police station know how to make tea? Between that and your catty attitude, I’ll bet you’ve never had a boyfriend in your life! Since we’ve got this helpful magic bell here, maybe I’ll just ask. Is there a man in your life?”

  “No,” Sena said, looking straight at me, not flinching. “There isn’t. With my terrible personality, I still don’t have a boyfriend at my age. Are you satisfied? I would be wary of getting too carried away if I were you.”

  “Very sorry,” I said in a sudden bout of fear as I looked at the silent bell. “But what are these terrible things you heard about me? Just stuff the other adventurers were saying yesterday?”

  “W-well… I also heard you stole the panties off your underage companion in public, that you forced the Crusader you live with to wash your back in the bath, that you abandoned your Priest in a dungeon for being a hindrance… Rumors that raise many doubts about your humanity.”

  ………………

  I had stopped moving entirely. Sena looked at me suspiciously.

  “They aren’t true, are they?”

  “Not at all.”

  Riiing.

  Sena’s earlier cold demeanor returned.

  “Your party is your business; I won’t say anything. But do you know what the rest of the town calls you? Trash-zuma, Cad-zuma…”

  “Th-that’s awful! Who are these people? Who calls me that?”

  Then again, I had a pretty good guess. A lot of pretty good guesses, in fact.

  Sena sighed at me.

  “Good lord. I’ll ask one more time for the record. You are not connected in any way with the Demon King’s army, are you? No other interactions with his generals or…”

  “Of course not! Do I look—?”

  Riiing.

  I’d been about to say: …that important to you?

  But that was when I realized I’d made a terrible mistake.

  With the sound of the magic bell echoing off the walls of the interrogation room, I remembered another of the Demon King’s generals: Wiz.

  5

  “Hey, there ain’t enough food here! I need more protein! Who cooked this? Waitress!”

  The punk fumed and yelled next to me as I sat crushed under the weight of my mistake.

  Guess he figured beggars could be choosers. Maybe I should be like him and just stop caring.

  …Okay. Maybe not quite like him.

  “C’mon, Kazuma, don’t get so down. I’ve had more trials than I could count on two hands. Hell, we make our living beating things up. You’re not a real adventurer till you’ve enjoyed the hospitality of the police once or twice! We’ve both got our trials tomorrow. So let’s have a nice meal and get our rest. I’ll treat you to something good. You make enough of a racket around here, and the staff’ll bring you all kinds of stuff just to shut you up.”

  With that, Dust resumed hollering.

  The police finally did give him something to shut him up—a beating. He quieted down after that, and given what awaited us the next day, we tried to get some sleep.

  Midnight. I woke to the same distant rumble of an explosion as I had the night before.

  I sat up with a start, and then, of course, I heard Aqua whispering to me.

  “Kazuma! Hey, Kazuma! Wake up!”

  I slipped over to the wall below the window.

  “Are you here again?” I asked. “What happened yesterday? Was everyone all right?”

  “Megumin and Darkness both made it home without being spotted, but somehow they immediately fingered Megumin as the perp behind the explosion. But don’t worry! Those two didn’t want to, but I forced them to wear masks tonight. No one’ll figure it out.”

  I was pretty sure the problem had less to do with facial identification and more with the number of people in town who could use Explosion.

  “But what about you?” Aqua said. “I waited forever last night, but you never escaped! Snow piled up on my head and the police kept asking what I was doing there! It was awful!”

  “My cell doesn’t have a regular lock. It’s a combination lock. And anyway, I don’t have a Lockpick skill, so what was I supposed to do with some wire?”

  Aqua went quiet for a while.

  “…Stupid police,” she said. “Who knew they would be so completely prepared against a jailbreak?”

  “It’s just a combo lock. But seriously, do you have a plan? If we don’t do something tonight, I’ll be on trial tomorrow.”

  Aqua gave a confident little chuckle.

  Where did she get that confidence? Certainly not from reality.

  “I admit we took the wrong tack yesterday. I’ve got a couple of hacksaws here. I’ll toss one down to you.”

  Hacksaws?

  “…Surely you don’t mean to saw through those bars on the window and get me out that way?”

  “You’re a quick one. But we have to do it by sunup. That doesn’t give us much time, so get sawing!”

  And she shoved a saw between the bars.

  She was right. With two of us working at it, it would go much faster.

  The only problem was…

  “I can’t reach the window from this side.”

  The window was so far above my head I couldn’t reach it even if I jumped—presumably to prevent me from escaping through it.

  “Don’t worry, I’m not an idiot. I knew this would be an issue, so I have a step stool here. Use that to get up and cut the bars. One person working alone wouldn’t manage it in time, but with the two of us together, I think it should be all right.”

  Good idea.

  “So, uh, how were you planning to get the step stool or whatever in here? Will it fit through the bars?”

  It seemed like the obvious question to me, but Aqua went quiet again.

  “…Hang on a second.”

  I heard her going off somewhere.

  At length…

  “No, you don’t understand! I’ve come to bring Kazuma something he desperately needs!”

  “I’ve never heard of a prisoner getting something like this. What are you doing here at this hour anyway?”

  I heard Aqua in the distance. Apparently she’d thought she could sneak it in as a drop-off for me.

  Maybe I could learn something from her idiotic optimism.

  Listening to Aqua argue in the background, strangely, I found my anxiety about the coming trial fade away.

  I tossed the saw out the window to get rid of the evidence, then snuggled up with my blanket and went to sleep.

  6

  Trials in this world were simple affairs. The prosecutor presented evidence, the counsel for the defense rebutted, and if the judge wasn’t convinced, you were declared guilty as charged.

  Having said that, “defense attorney” was not an actual job here. It was left up to friends or acquaintances of the accused to mount a legal defense.

  The building resembled courts in Japan, with the a
ccused (in handcuffs) and his “lawyer” standing in the center of the room, surrounded at a distance by the judge, the prosecutor, and the plaintiff.

  And at the moment…

  “You needn’t worry so much. We are here for you!”

  Megumin tried to reassure me as I stood there tense with worry.

  Yep.

  Who stood beside me as defense, but my three party members.

  How did this happen?

  As I fretted, Sena stared at me from the prosecutor’s seat.

  “It’s all right. Leave it to me. The Crimson Magic Clan excels in Intelligence. I will tear apart that prosecutor’s arguments so hard she will weep!”

  To my right: Megumin, counsel for the defense, talking up her game.

  “Stay calm. If worse comes to worst, I’ll do something. In this case, at least, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

  That was Darkness, standing to my left.

  Talk about friends! Talk about people who come through for you! But…

  “You can just count on me! They’re practically bound to believe whatever I say, as a member of the clergy! Case closed!”

  Yeah. She was going to be the problem. I called her over and whispered, “Aqua, listen. There’s just one thing I really need from you this time, and that’s for you to be quiet. Just sit there until the trial’s over. I promise I’ll get you speckled crab or whatever you want.”

  “Don’t be silly! If you get hard labor or death, how will I receive my payment? Don’t worry. I know more about lawyering than anyone in this courtroom. You liked video games, right? You remember Ace Defense Counsel and Manganronpa? I played all those games.”

  “You’re right, that tells me all I need to know. Seriously, keep your mouth shut.”

  Aqua made a face and turned away.

  Curse this goddeeeeeeeess!

  A middle-aged man I assumed to be the judge banged his gavel.

  “Order! The trial of the defendant, Kazuma Satou, on charges of sedition will now begin. The plaintiff is Alderp Barnes Alexei!”

  A rotund man stood as the judge called the name.

  He was tall and large, with shaggy hair, except where a receding hairline revealed a glistening forehead.

  He must be the lord everyone kept talking about.